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1. Old Risu never bathed But was always clean. When his students asked him How this could be He replied, "Autumn showers." 2. What is this When your breath fogs the window? Stand still too long and Old Risu will arch his eyebrows. 3. When your work is pure Monkeys throw garbage at you. Old risu has a big rake And all day and all night. 4. Old Risu put a pincushion In every students zafu. "How about right now," He called from the high seat? 5. Every day Old Risu told his students, "I have a key up my nose." When at last he sneezed while sitting He said, "The treasure house is open." 6. Old Risu asked his students, "If shit sticks to you How can you face yourself, Let alone the world?" 7. "When you face the moon What are our hands doing?" When no one answered, Old Risu said, "It never stops does it?" 8. Old Risu sat by the pond, "Croak! Croak! Croak!" His student asked, "What is that sensei?" He replied, "Dead frog Dharma." 9. Old Risu was skipping across the courtyard. A student asked, "What was that?" Another answered, "a dancing dead man." 10. "The stream never ends So where do I sit," Old Risu asked his students? Whistling, he left the hall. 11. "After you empty the shithouse What will you do," Asked Old Risu? When no one answered he said, "Oho, so that's how it is." 12. Old Risu said to a student, "Tell me something about yourself." The student said, "right now?" Sensei laughed and said, "Now I've seen it all." 13. Old Risu looked down sternly On his sitting students. Looking up at the ceiling he called, "Knock knock." 14. "Tell me," said Old Risu, "Which would you rather do, Sit here with me, Or on a pile of shit? Either way you end up in hell." 15. Old Risu told his students, "In this decadent age Students think that tea is tea. Imagine that." 16. "What a pain! A turtle on every zafu," Said Old Risu. "Where have all the real students gone?" 17. Whacking a student with his stick Old Risu thundered, "Your pure ocean is full of rubber ducks, Now what?" 18. "If everything is always so, What is your excuse," Said Old Risu pointing his stick at his students? "The moon is up and the rooster is crowing." 19. "I have a thought I'm not thinking," Said Old Risu. "Now that's really rich. What do you have in mind to do next?" 20. Old Risu looked out at his students, " I see you all had karma for supper. No one wiped his face. How about that?" 21. Old Risu scowled at a new student, "If you are looking for a reward from practice I hit you 30 times and throw you out." Instead the sensei left the temple. 22. Old Risu left the hall Without saying a word. One student asked, "what was that all about?" Another answered, "oh, I thought you knew?" 23. "If I shouted in your ear, What would you say," Asked Old Risu of a student? "Better not tell me, I wouldn't get it." 24. "Tea mind, No mistake there," Said Old Risu. "What flavor is yours?" 25. "This is a nice illusion," Said Old Risu sitting in his high seat. "How so sensei," asked a student? "Ah, I've caught you out," he answered. 26. A student said, "I want the direct route!" Old Risu smiled and slapped his knee, "Go ahead." 27. A student asked, "What is Buddha's true spirit?" Winking, Old Risu answered, "New Spring wine, Autumn harvest." 28. Old Risu asked, "how do you prostrate to Buddha?" Before the statue a student demonstrated. "Now, how about me and you," The sensei asked? 29. "This is so simple, We all sit," Said Old Risu standing up. "The wind is blowing." 30. Old Risu went beyond the rice fields Scattering the crows. With a shout He fell to the ground laughing. 31. A new student saw Old Risu in the courtyard And asked, "who are you?" The sensei replied, "tree stump." 32. "If I shake this Dharma tree How many students would fall out," Old Risu asked his students in the hall? When no on answered he sai, "Exactly." 33. A student ran up to Old Risu and shouted, "I've had a realization!" The sensei hit him with his stick saying, "Oh, I'm so sorry." 34. Old Risu invited his first student to tea. "You see th tea, you taste it you tell me. When you drink yourself Then you will become the tea." 35. Old Risu sat down in the meditation hall. "I haven't got anything," he said. With that he did a cartwheel And walked out the door. 36. Old Risu spoke to his newest student. "When you smash the stone Buddha With a rubber hammer come back and see me." The student fainted. "That's one bright boy," said the sensei. 37. Another priest asked the sensei, "What do we do in our sleep?" "In your case the same as when you're awake," Said Old Risu arching one eyebrow. 38. A priest asked Old Risu, "What is your secret sensei?" Sensei boxed his ears. The priest grumbled and sulked. 39. A student asked the sensei, "What is enlightenment?" "When the moon is full over the outhouse," Said Old Risu. 40. "What's that all about, When you come up the hill to see me," Said the sensei? "But Master there is no hill here," Said a student. "Ah," was all Old Risu returned. 41. "Sensei, is the sun each morning new or old?" Old Risu stood and bowed. Then he said, "I see you travel In the same circle each day." 42. "When Dokyo Chozen sat Volcanoes slept. When I sit flies laugh," Said Old Risu. 43. A student tried for one hour To get Old Risu's attention. Finally he yelled, "can't you hear me?" Sensei nodded and said, "I hope not." 44. Old Risu grabbed a bowl From a student and said, "What are you going to put in this?" The student said, "sensei's guts!" The sensei gave him 30 blows. 45. A student asked, "why did Bodhidharma Go to China instead of Japan?" Old Risu answered, "no Japan." "Then why did he stay in China?" Kneeling down Old Risu said, "no legs." 46. A rude student asked, "Can a stone Buddha speak?" "You tell me," said Old Risu? "What," said the student? Grabbing the student's arm the sensei said, "Sshh! Flesh and blood stuff." 47. Old Risu said, "I have done so much nothing today Buddha died of boredom. How are you this evening?" 48. "If you say there is not, There is. That's why you are here And not someplace else," Said Old Risu. 49. One day sensei didn't show up for meditation. A student found him in his room. "Master, it's time to sit. The others are waiting," Pled the student. "I am already sitting. Didn't you notice," Said Old Risu? 50. A student called out, " Sensei, come out of your room." The reply came, "Old Risu's not here." Enjoy; T.S. |
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