v My History in Rock Music
v Convicted by God
v Now What?
v I'm Not Legalistic
v My Beliefs
Anyway, I attended more concerts and got into more music, and by June 2005 my fav band was the heavy metal band Disciple. Of course, since I was so into the rock and rap concert scene, my next summer vacation was another return to Creation. This time I enjoyed four days of Creation 2005 w/some friends. I did have a wonderful time, although I sadly saw injuries. I got to see my fav band Disciple live. Disciple was a perfect picture of rock craziness, and two of the guys (Brad Noah and Joey Fife) were covered in tattoos and had many piercings; I enjoyed their concert very much and thought the lead guitarist Brad Noah was really hot. I believe at Creation 05 I was completely numb towards stuff—the partying, the many people w/mohawks and stuff like that, the lead singer of a pop/punk band grabbing himself on stage, a rapper telling the crowd to “make as much ruckus as legally possible,” various bands singing about partying/sex/suicide/murder/etc, and so much more. It’s like I knew most of it was wrong, but I didn’t care. I just didn't know how to care anymore.
Then in August 05 I saw three more rock bands in concert, which wasn’t an unusual thing for me. (By this point I’d seen 49 bands total, many of them more than once.) This time my friend and I were in the mosh pit by accident. Also, as usual, the guys in the bands were all wearing skin-tight hip huggers; I mentioned to my friend that I did not agree with the tight pants, and she just continued to check those guys out while saying, “I for one am not complaining.” Somehow, that night I ended up changing my opinion on that too, and that became just another thing that was perfectly fine w/me.
That’s the last concert I went too. I begged my parents to let me go to a rock festival with a friend for my birthday last summer, but that didn’t end up working out. I'm still planning on attending more concerts, although from now on I'll make sure I only go to pretty good ones.
In October 2005, I started attending a Baptist youth group, even though I'm certainly not a Baptist. I kinda got the feeling that maybe rock was causing a bit of a problem in my life, so I decided to give it up temporarily to see if it made a difference. I was tired of my morals continuously weakening, and I thought that maybe this music could have something to do with it. The very first day I didn’t listen to rock, I felt like this weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was just so free. My usual anger and depression was replaced with peace! All of this by the end of the first day! (I used to listen to like 8 hours of rock a day, mostly punk and metal.) Who would have guessed that the very thing I was trying to find freedom in all that time—rock music—would actually put me into bondage? It turned out rock music isn’t really about freedom after all! Before, I thought I needed my music, but now I see that it just caused me more problems in the long run.
Obviously, my life is very different without rock now. At first it was torture not listening to rock or watching the music videos. But now (in March 2006) it's not a struggle anymore. I know I made the right decision by giving up rock. Replacing my continuous anger and depression with a perfect peace was definitely worth giving up rock!
Now I see that I don’t have all the answers like I thought I did. I used to believe tattoos rocked, mohawks were cool, I wanted a blue streak in my hair, all black clothes was awesome, etc. But now, since I gave up rock, I’m not sure how I feel. And in so many areas where I was positive I was right, I now see I was probably wrong. That’s hard for me to admit. But I believe I’m sorta going back to the beliefs I had before I ever got into rock—the ones that are based on truth more than what feels right. That’s a challenge, cuz I’m not used to any of that. But at the same time, I’m enjoying all my new-found freedom in Christ.
When I used to listen to rock, I felt like I was on some kind of downward spiral, always afraid of what morals may slip next. Now I don’t feel like that. Although I’m not really sure who I am yet, I feel confident that I can make moral decisions. It’s amazing, and I feel great!
Current note on March 25, 2006: I now know who I am again. I still may not have all the answers, but I'm okay with that.
You may be wondering, You went to a Baptist church?! Yeah, and I learned something about Baptists that most of us nondenominational Christians—and the rest of the world—doesn’t know. I learned that although the Baptist church may be old-fashioned (as we all know!), the message is still relevant to today’s society. I now suppose that some things never change, like what’s considered wrong; if something was basically considered wrong 50 years ago, it’s most likely still wrong today. And that’s a timeless message that the Baptist church has, mentioning that there is such a thing as sin. So while us nondenominational ones generally look at Baptists as outdated and legalistic, we need to remember that they really do have something to offer the world. We can spend all our lives in nondenominational churches—full of charismatic stuff, warm & fuzzy feelings, awesome activities, rock music, NIV Bibles & The Message “Bible paraphrases”, wearing our short shorts & tank tops, and still hearing truly wonderful messages. But the Baptist church has something we don’t—the truth about sin and salvation. Both the denominations and nondenominations have their good, I suppose. I’ll never judge the Baptists again, cuz they have something to offer just like we do. It’s just a different “something”, that’s all.
On the subject of music, I believe:
Questions, comments, or testimonies? Email me! J
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