We Wear Lavender Bracelets
to symbolize our unity and to remind us we are not alone
The Wounded HeartHope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse
by Dr. Dan Allender
Almost everyone knows a victim of childhood sexual abuse; it has no religious or social boundaries. And sexual abuse is probably the most ''soul-deadening'' trauma there is. For adult victims, here is a way out of the rage, fear, and confusion.
Uncovering Incest and It’s Aftereffects in Women
by Sue Blume
New York psychotherapist Blume speaks to victims who have blocked childhood memories of abuse, and sets out to help them cope with Post-Incest Syndrome, which encompasses depression, guilt, substance addiction and sexual dysfunction. Survivors will also benefit from advice on rebuilding self-esteem as a preparation for resuming friendships and sexual relations.
The Courage to Heal:
A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
Ellen Bass, who has been working with survivors of child sexual abuse for over a decade, and Laura Davis, herself a survivor of child sexual abuse, weave personal experience, professional knowledge, and moving stories and reflections from other survivors, to tell the survivors how she can come to terms with her past while moving powerful into the future. Available in Audio and Book
Poisonous Pedagogy
Sexual Abuse is perpetuated across successive generations due to the denial and dissociation inside the family structure or what is called the "poisonous pedagogy". Such family systems of denial create unconscious rules, family messages without benefit of recovery. How many of these assumptions were/are you living with?
Deny - Do not think, see, hear, feel, reflect or question your experience.
Stay in Control of Yourself and Those Around You - Stay on guard. Hyper-vigilance. Anything bad that may happen is your fault and thus your responsibility to prevent.
Be Loyal - You must protect the family. Keep the secrets. Obey.
Don't Have Needs - Don't ask for help.
Don't Show Pain - Minimization. Somatic manifestations and complaints.
Don't Be a Child - Don't play. Don't make mistakes. Be adult-like but without power or authority. Be responsible for everyone else.
It is Your Fault - You don't ever do the best you can and you do it on purpose.
Scapegoating - You are bad, evil, immoral and to blame.
You are Responsible for Other's Behaviors - They are not responsible for their own behavior. It is not their fault. You must help them.
You are Incompetent - Don't reflect; question; process. No time or safe place to reflect or process traumatic experiences.
No One Get's Emotionally Ill Alone.
Writing your story and the complex dynamics that happen in all our families, can some day become a huge play or book, so get all that rich emotional feelings out on paper.
