We Wear Lavender Bracelets
to symbolize our unity and to remind us we are not alone
John Mayer's Grammy Winning "Daughters"
In February of 2000, the 52-year-old Carlos Santana admitted on television to having been a victim of sexual abuse as a boy. He said he was molested over a two-year period from the age of 11.
As a kid I experienced many different types of sexual abuse from all different directions - but I'm not the sort of person that would get on a talk show and complain about it - instead, I deal with it in my song writing, and a lot of people misinterpret things I say as being pro or to encourage child molestation, but these are just the way that I say these things and I deal with the things that happened to me as a child and that's my way of dealing with it.
Casper Van Dien recently confessed he had been hiding his own sex abuse secret for 18 years.
He says, "I was molested when I was eight years old by a woman who was 18, and I kept that a secret for 24 years."
Men Beating the Odds Beyond Lavender Traumas
When NFL player Isaiah Kacyvenski was a child, his parents had a hard time making ends meet. At times, his family was homeless. "We were huddled up, seven of us in a tent, and just kind of basically sleeping on top of each other," Isaiah says. "We went to the bathroom in an outhouse, basically just a hole in the ground."
To make matters worse, Isaiah says his father, David, was an alcoholic who would "flip out at the drop of a dime." Isaiah remembers even being afraid to tell his father when he was sick. "We would walk around on eggshells all day. I remember playing around the house, if something would break, it didn't matter what kid it was, we all had to line up, drop [our] pants, and he would just whip us," he says. "I remember not being able to sit for a week at a time, just in so much pain."
Healing Father-Son Relationships
Isaiah says he confronted his father after he had his own kids. One day, David picked Isaiah up from the airport and they spent the hour and a half ride talking. "I said, 'How could you do this to a kid? To five kids?' Like a man, he stood up," Isaiah says. "He said, 'I screwed up my life. I screwed up almost my whole part of my life.' And that's one of the first times he had said that face to face to me and it meant a lot."
Isaiah says he's now forgiven his father and is proud of him. "You always remember your childhood," Isaiah says. "But my dad, he's put so much work into trying to get himself better [and] I know how difficult it was."
Great Movies in Lavender Cinema
Finding Fish is the memoir of Antwone Fisher's miraculous journey from abandonment and abuse to liberation, manhood, and extraordinary success--a modern-day Oliver Twist.
Finding Fish shows how, out of this unlikely mix of deprivation and hope, an artist was born--first as the child who painted the feelings his words dared not speak, then as a poet and storyteller who would eventually become one of Hollywood's most well-paid, sought-after screenwriters.
But before he ascends those lofty steps, Antwone's story takes us from the Navy to his jobs as a federal correctional officer and then a security guard at Sony Pictures in Hollywood. In it’s climactic conclusion, the mystery of his identity is finally unraveled as Antwone returns to Cleveland to locate his mother's and father's surviving family members…
Who Will Cry for the Little Boy? his first collection of poetry, Antwone Fisher reveals the inner truths that took him from a tumultuous childhood to the man he is today. The powerful poems presented here range from impressions and expressions of Antwone's years growing up to the love that he has gained from the family he made for himself as an adult.
"I was molested, and I have my own personal fight. That was a challenge for me, even now talking about it. But my whole thing was to bring justice to the Antwones of the world,"
– Derek
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Tom Arnold, who was sexually abused as a child by a babysitter, admits he had some tough demons to face when recently portraying a child molester in the independent film Gardens of the Night. People Magazine http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20238532,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines Accepting the controversial part was a risky move for the actor, but he tells us it was a necessary part of his healing. "People told me, 'Oh, boy, stay away from this.' Maybe I'm fooling myself and I just ruined my career, but either way it was a powerful experience. Playing this character was the last piece for me to put it behind me."
Tom's has reached a point in his life where he can talk about his difficult past, and he candidly opens up to us about his experience. From ages 4 to 7, while growing up in Ottumwa, Iowa, Arnold says he was sexually abused by a 19-year-old male babysitter. He opens up about the experience in an interview with: |
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"In 1989, I got sober, and before you leave rehab you do an alcohol, drug and sexual inventory. I remember saying, 'There was this time I was like 4 or 5, and there was this thing that would happen with my babysitter. He was a couple of years older than me. At the end he gave me a candy bar, and I knew my dad didn't want me to have candy because I was so hyper, so I never told my dad about it. I was more scared of that because I didn't know what sex was," he explains.
A year later, Arnold hired a private investigator to find the man, who at that point had become a church leader and the owner of a big company. He was also about to adopt his fourth son. "I went to the police, and they said it'd been over seven years so there was nothing they could do, but I went back to Iowa to confront the guy. I remember he put his finger on my chest, and everything came back. I was scared for a second, but then I snapped to it and told him what was going to happen to him if he ever touched me again. By now a lot of his employees had come out of their office because Tom Arnold was there," he recalls.
"Then I went right over to the state capitol and met with the governor. I told him what happened and that the guy was about to adopt his fourth child and that he had to stop it. He said it wasn't something he could get involved with." |
An intense documentary investigating the dark and hidden world of sexual molestation of children by trusted family members or friends. An intense exploration of the secret world of incest. Hear for the first time the truth of how this crime is committed and why. Testimony comest directly from the offenders undisguised and unscripted. Learn what incest actually does to those who are violated and how their lives are forever changed.
The history of incest is detailed and how lawmakers are creating laws that make things worse leaving children even more exposed.
From the filmmaker: Official website | Trailer | Buy the DVD
Edward Blackoff, Director
"Yes there are strangers who molest our kids but they account for only 5% of the incidences. 95 times out of a 100 the offenses are done by dads, and uncles, and grandfathers, and often by our religious ministers. In a word, the real crime we need to address is INCEST. Wow! what a rude awakening! And why I asked was no one speaking up, how is such a terrible secret kept by so many of us? Why is nothing said? Nothing done? Why are lawmakers ignoring the facts."
Child Predator Busters works with high profile criminal profilers investigating, researching and assisting law enforcement to acquire warrants for the arrest of child predators. CPB assists families as an advocate and educator, helping families through the court process. CPB also acts as an intermediary, speaking to child protection and law enforcement agencies on behalf of families and children. When possible, CPB assists children financially to replace items such as clothing and beds that they may have been used during victimization.
CPB also assists law enforcement with active investigations. Our reputation is such that several agencies now pay officers to work for Child Predator Busters.
CPB takes measures to ensure progress is being made on your behalf, to catch predators and keep children safe.
Child Predator Busters
Rick Borga 158 S. 110th Street
Mesa, Arizona 85208
(480) 634-5300
Web: www.ChildPredatorBusters.org
E-mail: sher@childpredatorbusters.org
Laveranues Coles
Laveranues Coles, one of the NFL's brightest stars, is a wide receiver for the New York Jets with a $30 million contract. While Laveranues seems to be living the American dream, inside he is haunted by a nightmare from his childhood—a secret his coach and even his closest teammates didn't know. When Laveranues was 10 years old, his mother, Sirretta, met the man who would become Laveranues's stepfather—and make his life a living hell.
For three torturous years, Laveranues says his stepfather sexually abused him at gunpoint. "My mom took a night job," Laveranues recalls. "From there, that's when he started creeping into my room." Laveranues says the abuse caused him to act out at school. His grades began to suffer and he was overwhelmed by feelings of rage. "I just really never cared about anything," says Laveranues. "I was just always angry. … wondering, 'why is this happening to me?'"
Laveranues's stepfather was sentenced to nine years in prison in 1992 after pleading guilty to the charges. He served three and a half years.
We exist as a body of Bikers to empower children to not feel afraid of the world in which they live. We stand ready to lend support to our wounded friends by involving them with an established, united organization. We work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children.Bikers Against Child Abuse, Inc. (BACA) is organized with a central contact person to receive calls from referring agencies and individuals. A recognized, authorized agency with which the child has had contact determines that the child is still frightened by his or her environment.
The agency representative contacts BACA, or refers the individual to contact BACA and the name and address of the child is given to our BACA/Child Liaison. The Liaison determines that the case is legitimate, meaning that the authorities have been contacted, and the case in being processed within the system. The Liaison contacts the family and an initial ride is organized to meet the child at their home or in some other location. The entire BACA chapter rides to meet the child and he/she is given a vest with a BACA patch sewn on the back. The child is free to wear the vest or not, and we support their decision. The child is also given bumper stickers, and other gifts that are generally donated by the public. These initial visits generally last about a half an hour.
After 10 investigations, Dateline's Chris Hansen
talks about what goes on behind the scenes.
"We’ve been doing these investigations for almost three years and I’ve interviewed more than 200 potential sex predators from all walks of life and all ages.
In the beginning, I had no idea what to expect. I remember the first day of the first investigation. I had heard about Perverted Justice. I’d heard about their work in the chat rooms posing as a 12, 13 or 14-year-old kids. But I honestly wondered if anybody would show up."
Perverted-Justice To Read the entire article.
Columnist Making a Difference
PARADE Contributing Editor Andrew Vachss has made the protection of our most vulnerable citizens his life’s work. He is an attorney whose practice, for nearly four decades, has been devoted exclusively to the representation of children, many of them victims of sexual abuse. This experience has made him an outspoken advocate for the dignity and rights of children, a theme he also has pursued through his best-selling novels.
Statistics show that child pornography is the fastest-growing of all Internet businesses, estimated to bring in several billion dollars a year. But while such information may enrage or frighten us, it changes nothing. We need to know more about those who create this unspeakable “product,” why they do it and the various ways it is used.
The term “pornography” may give rise to discussions about what constitutes art. It may invoke issues of free speech or censorship. But no matter how you feel about pornography in general, child pornography does not belong in that debate. No child is capable, emotionally or legally, of consenting to being photographed for sexual purposes. Thus, every image of a sexually displayed child—be it a photograph, a tape or a DVD— records both the rape of the child and an act against humanity.
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