We Wear Lavender Bracelets

to symbolize our unity and to remind us we are not alone

   From the late 1950s through the early 1960s, Connie Francis, born Constance Franconero, was one of the most popular female singers in America with hits including "Who's Sorry Now?", "Stupid Cupid", and "Everybody's Somebody's Fool".

   Francis has been married four times. She married Dick Kanellis against her father's wishes on August 15, 1964. She divorced him three months later after he abused her.

   In 1960, she debuted in the youth-oriented film Where the Boys Are, the title song providing her with another hit. She appeared in three similar films through 1965. In 1984 Francis released her autobiography, Who's Sorry Now, wherein she candidly discusses her career ups and downs and reveals the details of her emotional despondence following her brother's murder and her own vicious rape in 1974.

Video Details
Description: This is a 5 minute clip of Connie Francis talking about the roll she played on getting the Rape Victum laws that we have in effect today!

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=678072

All that is needed for evil to triumph

  ...  is for good women to do nothing!

   Believing in a movement of education and empowerment, Angela Rose has been active and passionate about the issue of sexual assault for nearly ten years. At the age of 17, Rose spearheaded and organized the movement to enact the Sexually Violent Persons Commitment Act in the State of Illinois. Angela went on to create the non-profit organization.

Angela Rose created PAVE to educate citizens on the prevalence and silence that surround sexual assault and rapes and to stress that there is no shame in being a survivor. There are already 8 chapters in several states.
    Angela has been featured in several teen magazines and has been a guest on daytime television talk shows including the John Walsh Show.
Angela has presented workshops and keynote addresses at state and national conferences, as well as intimate college and high school classrooms.

RAPE ON THE INCREASE IN THE USA

In the USA we have 240 rapes occur everyday.

That’s about 88,000 rapes per year. One in every three women in the U.S. will experience rape. Often victims of rape will pretend that everything is okay, nothing really happened. This will often prevent the victim from getting the help they need to overcome the trauma of the rape. By seeking help, victims will find that healing will begin when they face the assault as a crime against them. Rape is about control and power.

It is not about sex and certainly not about love.

Many people still believe in these myths about rape:
(1) The victims are to blame. They must have done something to cause this.
(2) She asked for it and she enjoyed it.
(3) No woman can be raped against her will.
(4) Only women who are easy, drink too much, party too much are raped.

A woman can be raped anytime and any place. She can be young or old, drunk or sober, pretty or not pretty, tall or short. As long as we have men who rape, all women are at risk. We have forcible rape, acquaintance rape, and statutory rape which is an under-age female. The raping of women is on the increase in the USA.

There are Many Myths about Rape.

1) It is a sexual act: Sexual desire is not the motivation. It is violent aggression.
2) Rapists usually blend well in their community.
3) The median age of a rapist is 23.
4) Most rapists are unmarried.
5) The older the rapist, the younger the victim.
6) Most rapists are at the lower end of the economic scale.
7) More than half or the rapes take place on the week-end with Saturday being the peak day.
8) Almost are rapes are committed between 8:00 PM and 2:00 AM.
9) The choice victim is often left to chance.
10) Most victims tend to be under 30 years of age.

The rapist has (2) main categories:
1) Criminal: poorly educated, lower social, economic level, is easily influenced by friends.
2) Psychiatric: well educated, higher economic bracket, has problems of feeling inadequate, and feels remorse after the rape.

Thirty-three states has a victim rights amendment, which protects the identity of the victims:
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, Washington & Wisconsin.

Judy Parsons

CSA is not one group's problem; by expert accounts, it is a silent epidemic throughout the United States, and, indeed, the world, creating social havoc - for the children, adult survivors, and society.  It can be prevented and it can be treated, but a conscious and sustained effort is both missing and essential.
              Pamela
 
    This is an opportunity for Lavender Sisters to meet others committed to the cause and raise money for Stop the Silence. 
 
Please Join Us
to Create a Large Impact in Washington DC. 
 
Change is in the Air!
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW
 
Interested in Speaking? please submit transcript (max 15 mins) to Pamela ppine@stopcsa.org.
 
Run & Rally to Stop the Silence 
with Guardians of Children &
Bikers Against Child Abuse 

How to Respond to End Domestic Violence

 
 7 out of 10 dv victims tell someone 
           about the abuse they are experiencing.
 
   You can be the person who recognizes the signs, responds appropriately and provides resources for help.

This video will help you learn about domestic violence so you'll feel comfortable talking to someone who might be a victim.

 
 

Dear Lavender Sisters,
 
    We just celebrated our 10th year anniversary at NCDSV and we are still going strong with exciting projects like our educational DVD on the Avon Foundation’s website.
 
Please keep it at your electronic fingertips when your are about to help another Lavender Sister. 
 
It links to numerous other areas of expertise and advice, again thanks to the Avon Foundation.
will lead you to a full page
of other brief videos developed by the
 
National Center on
Domestic & Sexual Violence
 
as well as printable documents and
resources to assist you
and strengthen victims’ safety.
 

Sexual Abuse

Anne Lee

Darkness to Light D2L
     Charleston, South Carolina

     To address, to awaken, and to educate society to take steps to stop child sexual abuse, Anne Lee took a leading role in establishing the Darkness to Light program.


     Established in Charleston, SC, Darkness to Light serves as a primary prevention program against child sexual abuse, providing a model for what would become a national program. Anne knew that she needed to test and evaluate such an ambitious program in one community before moving into a larger and more comprehensive arena.

     Anne, a single mother, quit a well-paid position to follow her heart and start this organization, even though the prospects for success could not be assured. Working through her personal story/trauma, an on-point comprehensive media campaign, and empowering grass-roots prevention training, Anne, and now her staff, has helped bring the topic to the general public. Anne is fearless, for she has also walked the walk and talked the talk by making public her own history of having suffered abuse.

 

 

Empowering Children to Speak Up About Sexual Abuse

   Just Tell is the first advocacy organization focusing on child-created, developmentally appropriate messages to inspire and encourage children to come forward. 
 
   Just Tell aims to increase reporting, to raise awareness of this important issue, to change cultural barriers to revealing abuse, and to create a safer environment for children.
 
    We invite you to hear Vivian as she talks about the harsh reality of childhood sexual abuse and how the unique approach and methods of Just Tell are empowering children to speak up.
 
    You can listen to the interview by visiting this link.
                                    Listen to the interview.
 

Terri Hatcher Breaks Her Silence

 
 The Darkest Secret
By revealing the painful story
of her sexual abuse as a child,
actress Teri Hatcher hopes to help other victims
Newsweek
     Oct. 8, 2007 issue - I'm 7. "Do you want to go with me?" asks my uncle. I wanted to go. I remember that. I remember feeling excitement and shame simultaneously. In that moment, all I knew was that for some reason I wanted to be alone ... with him. We'd be driving to pick up my cousin. We'd pull over in some abandoned parking lot. He'd turn off the engine and suddenly that space in the car with the seats that go all the way across would become the scary and haunting locale of the most defining and damaging event in my life.

      Queen Latifah, the rapper turned singer and actress, in Washington, D.C., to endorse a National Women's Confidence Day, told PEOPLE after visiting the House of Representatives, "You know, maybe I'll run for Senate."

But don't expect her to hit the campaign trail any time soon: "I still have a few wild years to get out of the way first!" she said.

Latifah, 36, said at a congressional press conference that her own self-confidence came from her supportive family. "I have always felt strongly about empowering women," she said. "I'm living proof that, with confidence and by believing in yourself, you can accomplish any goal."

   The Voices of Women Organizing Project gives a voice to survivors of domestic violence, so that we can influence, change, and improve the many systems battered women and their children rely on for safety and justice.

http://www.vowbwrc.org/ 

Survivors of DV Organizing for Change   

 

Family violence wasn't news to
Bill Clinton. 
 
He had seen his step-father beat up his mother. He was aware that there are more than 4 million victims of domestic violence in the United States every year.
 
As part of his 1994 Crime bill, President Clinton established the
 
Violence Against Women Act
which contained a provision to create a national domestic violence hotline.
 
The Opening in February 1996
National Domestic Violence Hotline
 
Ellen Fisher, President Bill Clinton, & Lavender Sister Deborah Tucker
When the Department of Health and Human Services went looking for a well-organized agency to give a $1 million start-up grant to implement the hotline, they chose the
 
Texas Council on Family Violence
a leader among statewide coalitions. Based in Austin, Texas, the Texas Council had supported battered women's shelters and other domestic violence programs since 1978.
 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is featured in the
NBC's
The More You Know
public service campaign for 2009.
 
Two spots by two NBC actresses focus on domestic violence with the Hotline number shown on the screen.
 
The More You Know is the longest running, most comprehensive network public service campaign in the media landscape.
 
For nearly two decades, the campaign continues to make a difference in communities across the country by raising awareness of important societal issues and motivating viewers to ...
 
 
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Located and staffed in Austin, the hotline utilizes 48 incoming lines, including three for the hearing impaired. It operates 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Spanish speakers are part of the hotline team, and translators are available in 140 other languages.
 

 Martina McBride "A Broken Wing"
 
No celebrity name is more synonymous with the fight against domestic violence than Martina McBride, currently the Spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Songs such as "Independence Day," "A Broken Wing," "Love's the Only House" and "Concrete Angel" have become not only memorable musical statements, but resounding social commentaries as well.
 
With her preternaturally large soprano voice, McBride speaks for those who can't speak for themselves and forces us to recognize situations that we'd prefer to ignore. Whether it's alcoholism, domestic violence or child abuse, this courageous risk-taker has never backed down from exploring our nation's darkest sides.
 
Stirring A Nation
In 1994, she gave battered women a voice with her signature hit "Independence Day" about an abused woman who chooses to take matters into her own hands and told through the eyes of a young child.
 
She again rocked the music community with her No. 1 follow-up "A Broken Wing" about an emotionally abused woman who finally gets the courage to leave a disastrous relationship.
 
She continued this theme with the touching "Love's the Only House" where she sings, "Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world" a message that resonates even more so today.
 
National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) 
As the spokesperson for the National Network to End Domestic Violence, she recorded numerous PSAs and television interviews and to help possible victims recognize the signs of abuse, Martina distributed cards with the telling signs of abusive relationships at her concerts.
 
National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH)
Martina also signed on as the spokesperson for The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH). 1-800-799-SAFE or TTY 1-800-787-3224, provides a vital link between families in crisis and the information they need to find safety. NDVH is staffed by live advocates, available year-round, 24-hours a day, and every call to the Hotline is anonymous.
 
NDVH announced the launch of the Connections Campaign, a public/private partnership that teams up private telecommunication and technology companies with the federal government to guarantee that the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) can provide safety and lifesaving services to victims of domestic violence well into the 21st century.

Sexual Assault

Operation Free Fall   Kellie Greene

SOAR  Speaking Out About Rape

  Thousands Skydive for Sexual Awareness On April 29, 2006, thousands of jumpers and volunteers at 25 drop zones across the country strapped on parachutes and skydived to raise awareness about sexual assault.
   The annual fundraiser began when Kellie Greene, SOAR's founder and RAINN advisory board member, made her first jump on the fifth anniversary of the day she was raped. Kellie turned a memory of a painful experience into a day of freedom and celebration.

 

 

   Stacey A. Branchini co-founded

     It Happened to Alexa Foundation after her daughter was brutally raped. They provide women who have been victims of rape or sexual assault with limited amount of financial assistance to defray costs of transportation and housing, in order that the family may attend and take part in the criminal justice proceedings and support the victim at this most difficult time. They want to encourage sexual assault victims to report to law enforcement and promote effective prosecution of sex crimes.

   
   What Should I Do/Expect as a Rape Survivor or Support Person?

  • What is the legal definition of rape?
  • What is the best course of action immediately after someone is raped?
  • If she decides not to report to police, should a rape victim still go to the hospital?
  • Are there other legal avenues available to the rape victim besides criminal prosecution?
  • He's out on bail and I'm afraid, what can I do?
  • She's not acting like I would expect a rape victim to act. Is that unusual?
  • How do I know what she's feeling?
  • Why is family so important to a rape victim?
  • What can I do to support her?
  • How long will it take for her to recover?
  • What should I avoid doing or saying?
  • I think she needs counseling, but she rejects the suggestion, what can I do?
  • What other financial resources are available to victims?

 
  Clockwise from top:
    Stacey, Tom, Casey & Alexa
   Photo by Linda E. Gellman
     It Happened to Alexa Foundation's provenance is a brutal one. In the fall of 1999, Tom and Stacey Branchini drove their daughter, Alexa, from Lewiston to Boston, where she would be starting school at Boston University. Ten days later they received a call telling them that Alexa had been raped and was recovering in a hospital in Boston. The perpetrator had been apprehended, and a trial was impending.

     Alexa’s trial was exceedingly difficult and drawn-out, explains Executive Director Ellen Augellos, involving as it did rigorous cross-examinations and accusations that it had been consensual sex instead of rape.

     “But she remained strong and determined,” Augellos says, “knowing that she had her parents’ love and support backing her.”

      After 18 grueling months, the trial finally got underway. It lasted for six weeks, during which time Alexa and her parents spent a total of 27 days in Boston. The trial resulted in Alexa’s attacker being sentenced to 40 to 45 years in prison.

      It Happened to Alexa Foundation's was founded by the Branchini  after Tom and Stacey considered two things:

  • how important it was that they were able to be with Alexa during her emotionally taxing trial;
  • and that their presence at the trial required more money than many families in similar circumstances can afford.

Domestic Violence

   When Josie Ashton heard about the brutal murder of Gladys Ricart-a 39-year old Dominican woman killed on her wedding day by an abusive ex-boyfriend-she resigned her position in the domestic violence unit of the State Attorney's Office in Miami to raise awareness about domestic violence in the Latina community. After obtaining permission from the Ricart family to walk in Ricart's memory, Ashton donned her own wedding dress and on Sept. 26, 2001 — the second anniversary of Ricart's death — walked from the New Jersey home where Ricart was killed to Miami, Florida, spending nights in numerous domestic violence shelters along the way.

     When asked what inspired her 1,600-mile march down the East Coast, Ashton said, "I was very upset about people's ignorance about domestic violence and their willingness to blame the victim. We need to scream at the top of our lungs that we are here, that we have laws, legislation and programs to help women. They just don't know that help is there for them."

Heather Grossman I'm Here to Motivate You!

     I’m a mother, mentor and a survivor of domestic violence.  Ten years ago domestic violence forever changed my life and the lives of my family.  As the bullet penetrated my spinal cord, it shattered many hopes, dreams and my ability to function as I once did but it did not destroy me or my will to live.  Ten years ago my ex-husband, Ron Samuels, hired men to murder me.  I died at the scene of the crime but was brought back to life by a paramedic.  When I woke up in ICU I could not believe what had happened to me but my will to live sustained me.  Read More »


Domestic Violence Advocacy

Music Star Ashanti Raises Awareness About Abuse
       Grammy Award winner Ashanti has taken a stand against domestic violence. The hip hop song, Rain on Me, deals directly and powerfully with domestic violence, telling the story of a woman who faces and then overcomes a violent relationship.
      The 23-year-old singer is also speaking out against domestic violence in interviews with media of all kinds, in particular urging young women to get help and get out of violent relationships. Her PSA on domestic violence began airing in some 4,000 movie theaters around the country in mid-October 2003.

Sheila’s Legacy
Sheila Wellstone was a national advocate, organizer, and champion in the effort to end domestic and sexual violence. She played an instrumental role in the passage of major national legislation and was a fierce advocate for victims and their families.


In Memoriam

Tanya Neiman
was a champion of the homeless, and a tireless advocate for victims of violence. Among her many contributions, she was a founding member of San Francisco Partners Ending Domestic Abuse which involves San Francisco's most influential communities in supporting the agencies that provide domestic violence prevention services and advocacy.

    She was also an early practitioner of an approach she described as "holistic advocacy,'' which addressed not only a client's legal problems but also social service needs, like health care, domestic violence and drug treatment.


    Stop Family Violence was founded in July 2000 when reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act - crucial federal legislation that would have provided $3.5 billion in funding for domestic violence and sexual assault programs nationwide - had been stalled in Congress for 18 months and was about to expire. 

     Using the power of the Internet, in just 3 months, Stop Family Violence organized people from across the nation who sent more than 164,000 messages and made countless phone calls to Congress urging VAWA's reauthorization.

     In January 2001, Stop Family Violence, and our consultants at the time, e-advocates, were awarded the American Association of Political Consultant's prestigious Pollie Award for the best website for issue advocacy for our role in ensuring VAWA's passage.

 

Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests
Washington, DC  August 7-9

Don't miss it! The 2009 SNAP national conference will be held in Washington, DC this summer, the weekend of August 7-9. We will meet at the Hyatt Regency Crystal City. The hotel is just across the river from the national mall, museums and many attractions. There are restaurants within walking distance and free shuttle service to/from DC National Airport.

Take advantage of our early-bird special! Up until February 15, 2009, a weekend pass is $100 and a one day pass is $85.


Break the Isolation, Shame & Silence

couragesticker
Bring Angela to your community.
Contact Jodi Solomon jodi@jodisolomon.biz


Great Moments in CSA History April 20, 2004
Alison Arngrim speaks in front of California Senate
     Alison Arngrim, a powerful international speaker who is best known to viewers world-wide for her portrayal of the incredibly nasty Nellie Olson on the much loved, long running hit television series Little House On The Prairie. Alison, a sexual abuse survivor herself, testified before the California Senate regarding the critical importance of closing the incest exception loophole that decriminalized rapes when the perpetrators of those rapes were close family members of the victims.
The following is an excerpt from her moving testimony:
     "The pressure placed upon those of us who have been sexually victimized by our own families to 'just shut up and take it', is almost too horrifying to describe. So shut up and take it we did. After all, they told us it was 'for our own good'.
So, I apologize that it has taken us quite so long to get up off of the floor and stand up on our hind legs and speak like human beings, but I promise you, we will continue to stand up straight from here on in.
     We who have been raped by our own flesh and blood will no longer tolerate being treated as someone’s 'personal problem', 'a private matter', or as the 'acceptable collateral damage' of some misguided therapeutic experiment.
Nor will we be treated as 'second class citizens' in the courtroom.
     We are not statistics. We are not 'therapeutic constructs'. We are human beings, we are registered voters and as of April 20, 2004, we have had enough."    

Eve Ensler  The Vagina Monologues  
      V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls.
      V-Day is a catalyst that promotes creative events to increase awareness, raise money and revitalize the spirit of existing anti-violence organizations.
     V-Day generates broader attention for the fight to stop worldwide violence against women and girls, including rape, battery, incest, female genital mutilation (FGM) and sexual slavery.

Survivors in Art History

Artemisia Gentileschi (1593-1652)
was the first female artist to paint large scale history and religious pictures, subjects considered off-limits to women at that time, and she specialized in themes with female protagonists. 
    Her depiction of traditional stories of rape and vengeance -- but from the viewpoint of a woman -- marked a breakthrough in the history of art. 

Judith Slaying Holofernes
& Self Portrait as the Allegory of Painting (c. 1630)

The Judith and Holofernes painted shortly after Artemisia’s rape has been interpreted by art historian Mary Garrard as a metaphoric expression of female resistance to masculine sexual dominance.   

"If it is to be called revenge at all, it's revenge against tyranny. An artist's feeling is the white-hot core of painting... You've got to use your own emotions and paint with your own blood if need be in order to discover and prove the truth of your vision." - by Mary Garrard

http://www.artemisia-gentileschi.com/index.shtml
The Passion of Artemisia - by Susan Vreeland
Artemisia [dvd] (1998)

  Searching for Angela Shelton, opened my eyes to an epidemic of abuse and violence. I have always used my art to address issues in the world and have now become a speaker and activist.

    Finding Angela Shelton is a memoir of courage, survival and faith. It is the journey of a young woman who discovers herself in the stories of other women who share her same name and coincidentally share experiences of violence and abuse that plagued her own childhood. Through her physical journey across the country she is thrust into her own emotional journey. She embraces each woman she meets, is strengthened by their connections, confronts the father that molested her, and ultimately finds faith, divine purpose, and wholeness.

 

     Army of Angels
     We were inspired and empowered by Angela Shelton to make dramatic shifts in our lives. We now work to make bigger strides forward and help others do the same. We take action towards our own healing and are actively working towards leading joyful lives! It started with Angela Shelton and continues through all of us.