Quotes
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Quotes |
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Quotes |
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J-Lo "And just remember, the secret to a happy marriage is... Oh, who am I kidding?" Jack "It's so romantic, taking your sacred vows in the city of water slides and titty bars" Rosario "You said I was your bridesmaid" Karen "No, I said that you're the bride's maid Now get!" Karen: "Let me get you up to speed. I own you, and what we do is none of your business" Rosario: "Lady, don't be surprised if your martinis smell of Clorox tonight" Jack: "I'm not like you. You've always wanted to be a lawyer. Ever since you were an angry, argumentative baby in pinstriped diapers." Karen: "So, Elliot, queerleading tryouts, huh?" Elliot: "Cheerleading." Karen: "Yeah, well, well see what the kids are calling you when they're stuffing you in the locker on Monday" Karen: "Just the thought of another woman spanking your fruity booty in a platonic fashion sickens me! That heinie's miney!" Will: "Are you implying that I would need Grace's approval to know whether or not I like somebody> Do you really think that our friendship is that sick and co-dependent that... even as I'm saying this , I realize it's true." Bebe: "It's always nice to meet fans. Especially in a public place with lots of witnesses and clearly marked exits" Jack: " But Karen. don't you see? We'll just have to find some new show. Something that combines the gay sensibility of sex and the city, the gay sensibility of Frasier and the gay sensibility of Friends" Stuart: "Why haven't you returned my calls? I left messages for you in a cute voice, I rewrote the lyrics to Carousel to reflect our situation, I cried. I did everything a man is supposed to do" Karen: "I am a married woman. Sure, my husband is an enormous bulldozer of a man who has to be hit with a stun gun before he can be weighed or medicated, but when I said yes to his attorneys, I meant that to be forever" Kevin Bacon: "If I had a dollar for every time my jock strap had been stolen from the gym.... Jack; You'd have one hundred eighty six dollars" Karen: The gays love their presents, Just wave something shiny in front of their faces, you can get whatever you want. That's how we got Manhattan from the gay Indians" Jack: What you have is a pocket gay. The perfect travel sized homosexual. Just pop him in a man purse, a briefcase, and you're good to go. In ten years, they'll be making them all the way. Doctor So, Mrs Walker the usual? Karen: Oh, no honey. Mommy's got a deep one today. Break out the crap you're testing on rats and pigs. Elton: A word of advice, Will - don't dismiss things you know nothing about. And don't walk in ten-inch heels. It's hell on the ankles Will: You know, this is allot like the first Christmas. Except we did get a room, none of us are virgins, and instead of the baby Jesus, we have a plate of cheeses. Grace: Listen mister. I've kissed Karen more times than I can count, and every single time I've felt something. Grace: This one's slitty, This one's slutty, This one's titty, this one's butty Grace: You have things to offer. You would be the first person I'd call if I wanted . . . to hurt an orphan's feelings Karen: Rosie, I just met the most incredible man Rosario: Are you sure you didn't just lean into the doorknob again? J.T: Get yourself a bikini wax. I like a clean workspace
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