Who is this woman?

 
 Lifestyle Transitions Expert

LISTEN TO HER TESTIMONY:

"Half the time, I can't even believe it's me living this life. I was born in 1973 in Riverhead NY, on the coast of Long Island New York. There's something to be said, I suppose, about violent beginnings and I'm just realizing how much it’s worth. If devastating fires bring about renewed forests then what is it to shatter a soul? I was born free, yet a slave to my mother’s circumstances. I knew only her world which was filled with gang violence, racism, substance abuse and sexual exploitation, all clothed in vindictive insanity.

My mother told me that she was a young girl caged in a confused woman’s body. Feeling neglected by her alcoholic father and “black-sheeped” by her mother, she ran away from home after only ninth grade. By the age of fourteen, she had her first child. That began the cycle of affairs and childbearing that seemed to have no end. She did what she thought she had to in order to survive the streets. Mama was a “Nigga Lova . ” In the early 1970s and in the posh Hamptons of Long Island, it was far from fashionable to be a white woman walking the streets with little black babies. Mama was more accepted amongst a deep-rooted criminal association in New York which fostered an environment conducive for anything vial.

Since the day I was born, I was the target of emotional, physical, mental and sexual abuse, as were my siblings. Mama taught us girls from the age of four how to dance for men. Being sexed by mama's countless “friends” was our frightening norm. Before turning ten years old, I lived in ten different places... not including the times I lived with my mama on the streets... sleeping in roach infested crack houses, motels, laundry mats and telephone booths. I struggled with issues surrounding having contracted sexually transmitted diseases, being hungry, rejected, and emotionally abandoned. Mama had Multiple Personality Disorder, and always threatened to lock us up in the mental institution which she vividly described to us. As a result, between being bounced around through foster homes, extended family and my biological mother, I consciously thought about how to maintain my most valued possession... my sanity.

In the reflections of my youth, I recall the love I held for my siblings. Of them, my sister Heather did not survive our childhood circumstances, others were placed for adoption and I, myself was finally placed for adoption at the age of ten. I became a single mother at the age of 18. Desperate to give my child a better life than my own, I married into a loveless relationship, where I devoted 12 years and was blessed with four additional children. I made myself a better mom in spite of having no clue who I was as a woman.

Twenty three years after my siblings and I separated, I found myself inflicted with cancer. I knew it was time to mend fences and so I went on a journey to reunited with two of my siblings and biological mother. Reflecting on my past and seeing where we each were as adults made me realize I wanted so much more from life... not just for my children, for myself. Most importantly I wanted to be loved and in love. My marriage came to a close and I entered the “real” world... something foreign to me. I stepped into the world of prostitution, defaulting to the skill I thought I knew best. I lived a double life...mother by day, seductress by night.

One thing about me is I have always been a fast learner. Quickly I realized this road I was on was the very one I'd fought so hard to keep from affecting my children and yet there I was providing for them with “tricks”. I was determined to die an honorable death, to live a legacy my children would be proud of. Immediately, I changed course and dedicated five grueling years to deliberate work on my personal restoration. I began to write, paint again and share my testimony. While investing in my personal recovery and development, I discovered my purpose in life and now live to make my past and the past of my siblings worth having lived.

I value and treasure the memories of my past, the good and the bad alike because I believe that while the past does not define who I am... it defines my purpose in life. Now, as a thriving survivor, I live with the medical consequences of my early years. Although I struggle to maintain bouts with Vertigo, Turrets, and the effects of being infections, I control these conditions I live with... they don't control me. In spite of it all, I have beaten back the medical consequences of all the criminal acts against me and put the side effects of my past in remission.

I no longer limit my voice to the world of urban seduction, rather I have an explosive voice of freedom for those seeking lifestyle transformation from the devastation of abuse and neglect. I have surrendered to the cause of victim recovery for adults and children trapped in the soul cycle of abuse and neglect. I am dedicated to promoting awareness and prevention for the remainder of my life.

On April 16, 2008, I set out on a journey that would not only change the lives of those I came into contact with but my life as well. Weighing in at 247 pounds and being 5' 7" tall, I pushed an 825 pound covered wagon 250 miles from Savannah GA to Atlanta Georgia. I did it as an act of restitution and to bring greater awareness to the issues surrounding child abuse and neglect. I staked a flag for every mile I pushed through, in loving memory of my sister Heather and all those who passed away in the circumstances of child maltreatment.

The 1000 foot climb continues to inspire countless survivors of traumatic experiences to focus on victim recovery and lifestyle transformation in an effort to prevent lineal cycles of trauma. The journey took six weeks - five days, impacting thousands along the way. The monumental feat was completed June 2, 2008 and has now become known as 'The Historic Walk of Love'. As a humanitarian, anthropologist, public speaker, author and artist, I encourage you to thrive in the place in which you survive!"... Ms. Rachel Milano

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Presently Ms. Milano thrives as one who lives by the rod of "emotional reconstructive therapy", Unconditional Love of Self. She is living proof that positive statistic are harvested out of crimes against children. She is "new" to this world, this thing called life, yet she is happy to be free.  Although her recovery is long term, it has proven effective by the day.  Today, she has no reason to die and every reason to live.

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