Fun Stuff
did you hear about that teacher down south? the one who got arrested for sleeping with a student?
yeah, he was homeschooled
What weve learned from Johnny Depp:written by K. Noel and H.Gove
#1) When you're being the bigger person, and walking away from a problem,
it is perfectly fine to "drop your draws" and moon the person you're
walking away from
#2) When things dont go your way, dont just sit around and cry
about them, light your pants on fire
#3) When stealing a ship, first steal the one next to it. This way your
pursuers use the one you want to catch you, and then when they come
to find you you can jump on the one you really wanted
#4) When you have a stalker, make sure their name doesn't have a
double meaning that will take over your mind eventually
#5) Eating corn on the cob in braces can be extremely sexy
#6) Do not take a fire poker to your mirror (or shower) unless you are in hopes
to catch a killer mouse
#7) Carrying a cane is not just for old people
#8) Hats always stay on when you do a foward flip. Trust him. he knows.
(its happened in two movies)
#9 Raisins are really just humiliated grapes
#10) Don't bet a cousin in a poker game
#11) Dancing rolls are not as dumb as they sound
#12) You can be successful in juggling full plates of food
#13) Reciting lines along with movies is not always an annoying traint and can,
on the contrary be quite cute
#14) Men impersenating lead women in corny prom horror movies can be bangin'!
#15) The correct answer to "but i insist on paying you for it" is "well that
makes two of us"
#16) Even eating worms can be sexy
#17) Pirates are not homeless they take their homes with them (same goes for river rats)
Basically, many things that seem impossible really are possible--and lots of gross things
are extremely sexy as long as it is johnny that is doing them.
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