MOTHERS AGAINST VIOLENCE NORTH EAST HAS NOW OPEND A NEW WEBSITE UNDER A NEW TITLE OF 'THE CHRIS CAVE FOUNDATION' PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BROWSE THE SITE AND GIVE YOUR SUPPORT. THE C.C.F. IS TO BE A LEGACY FOR CHRIS CAVE AND WILL ENABLE FAMILIES FROM ALL ACCROSS THE COUNTRY TO BE ABLE TO SPEND A HOLIDAY TOGETHER IN THE 'RETREAT' THAT WE ARE DETERMINED TO OPEN HERE IN REDCAR BY THE SEA. WE NEED AS MUCH HELP AND SUPPORT AS YOU CAN OFFER, A PROPERTY, FURNISHINGS AND COST TO RUN THE PROPERTY. THE HOUSE WILL ALSO BE USED FOR A 'MOTHERS UNION/MEETING PLACE' WERE MOTHERS IN PAIN CAN COME TO BE TOGETHER AND SHARE THEIR TRAGIC STORIES WITH OTHER MOTHERS IN THE SAME SITUATION. MOTHERS ARE LEFT TO PICK UP THE PIECES, TO BE THE ROCK AND THEY FEEL THAT THEY ARE 'IN THE WRONG' TO GRIEVE THEIR LOSS IN FRONT OF OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. MANY MOTHERS ASK ME IF THERE IS SUCH A PLACE FOR THEM AS SO MANY NEED TO HEAR THAT WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH IS ALSO THE SAME AS WHAT OTHER MUMS IN THEIR SITUATION ARE OR HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH.I
Hi, I am Teresa Cave and I run Mothers Against Violence in the North East. We have now merged into a new group which is called THE CHRIS CAVE FOUNDATION. Our work is on a voluntary basis from my home in the seaside town of Redcar Allthough we are going to be moving into a new office soon in Saltburn just up the road. This will enable us to branch out into bigger projects including the massive task of opening a 'retreat for families suffering the loss of a loved one to the act of homicide. Please use the new website for any contact that you may need. Also to offer help assistance or to join us as a member or comittee member for the Foundation .......Here is my story............
Since the tragic loss of my son Chris in 2003, I have been 'searching', both my soul, and this big wide world, for a group to join, or some point of contact, that will 'make a difference', not only to the families of Murder Victims, and their plight to face the 'aftermath' of murder,......
..........but to the youth of today and their never ending plight of 'rebelling' against the older generation. A lady entered my life through coming to speak at my conference for victims of violent crime. Her name was Pat Regan........
When I heard this lady speak I knew that I was to become great friends with her, and that she was indeed dedicated and special. This is how I joined M.A.V.
Sadly we lost Pat this year and so together we must carry on her work with 'great guidance from above'.
I dont want to work miracles, nor do I want the 'power' that many seek, who become support groups, ...... I just want the youth of today to learn how to 'trust, gain confidence, and self respect' ...............and show others in their communities that they, too, are wanting this change.
To be able to get through to the youth of today, in my eyes, is as easy as one, two, three
I firstly, 'believe in these kids', secondly, I don't expect anything from them in return except respect, and thirdly I know these kids need to be listened to, understood, and need to be given a chance to speak out, on issues that they feel are upsetting society so badly, and where their voices can, & will make a difference. That is their right, and is overdue to be heard! How many of us have gone through our teens feeling the same way, ........if only someone had listened.........
The kids of today, are, in my eyes, not given enough 'time' from their parents, teachers and community workers, to enable them to show us just what they are capable of doing, and doing so well, in many cases. I 'talk to the kids, & ask them what 'they' want, rather than 'what is given to them' and we debate on how we can get these things, and what rewards they would give back to their communities for doing so. Often the benefits of such things are not considered, as only the disadvantages on society are focused upon.........
I deter them from using weapons in any shape or form, telling my story of how my son was stabbed to death, how I felt and how I still feel today, five years on. I can see the most 'troublesome' of the kids in the class begin to listen and take in my pain and my sorrow.
I tell them as it is - no frills, and no fiction - How your body is taken for post-mortem and the after affects, as family, we all feel.
I want to help as many kids to deter from violence, and so I ask them to contact me to 'talk', to 'discuss any issues at home' and to just know that I am there, if need be, should they need a shoulder.
In the meantime, I visit many parents who have been affected by the loss of a child to Murder, - I console them, and guide them through the stages of grief they are about to meet. I like to think that they are consoled just to know that they 'are not alone' & that 'they are feeling things of normality,
......and that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
Please contact me if I can help you, too,........ in any way, shape, or form.
People often ask me, "How do you do it?".......
.... I reply, "I just do it, because I'm a mother, and that's what mothers do".
Theresa Cave xxx