Inspiration gained and wisdom, joy, knowledge, and insight gleaned from others is meant to be shared, don't you think? So, come in, and relax...ponder the writings of those you will find here. These thoughts are not my own, but are ones I have chosen to share with you because they have made an impression upon my heart. May you be blessed by reading this collection, as I have been!Since there isn't an option in place to comment directly on this page...PLEASE FEEL FREE to comment on anything you've read here in our FORUMS, under the category "INSPIRED BY OTHERS"...I would LOVE for you to share your thoughts on these writings, so I have added that category in the forums for you to do so!

Tammy, a joyful, zealous Christian woman from the Homeschool Lounge, recently posted this article.

In a world where women have shifted from their original God-ordained roles, it helps to "take stock" of our actions from time to time and reflect upon whether or not

we are doing all we can to be good helpmeets for our husbands...After all, that is

WHY we were created in God's image!

Before you read this article, I encourage you to say a small prayer; asking God to open your eyes and heart and grant you a willingness to change where change is needed.

 This is the type of article which can quickly "ruffle feathers" and "raise defenses" if not approached in the proper frame of mind.

Also, each marriage is unique and comes with unique situations, needs, and preferences. Just as one mom on the Lounge, whose husband is mentally challenged due to brain trauma, pointed out that SHE must often "take the reigns" and "lead the family"...I am not suggesting that this article be taken point blank literally in all aspects...Rather...it is the SPIRIT of what it written here that is important. OF COURSE, if God has blessed you with a spouse who has special mental or physical or emotional needs which require you to step up and speak up...then by all means He wishes you to do that...however, the article speaks more toward our MOTIVATION in speaking and action.... WHY are you speaking up? And in WHAT MANNER are you speaking? If truth be told and your underlying motivation is that of superiority or control or a lack of trust or respect in MEN in general...then there is perhaps a problem and some issues that you could benefit from taking a closer look at in your heart.

That said, I was inspired by this article and the authors of it can be found at THIS WEB SITE.

The article follows:

 
We live in a time when, generally speaking, men are considered lightweight klutzes who falter before the wisdom of women. Feminism is everywhere to be found these days-the workplace, politics, the religious world, marriages, books, and educational materials, to name a few. Without a doubt, the most relentless and potent source of feminism has got to be the audio-visual media. Television shows and movies portray men, husbands, and fathers as bumbling, fearful, and scatterbrained, whereas women are typically the ones who are sensible, in control, and superior in their ability to handle whatever comes their way. And, as we all unfortunately know, these portrayals have their impact and people begin acting these things out in real life. Thus the standard for women today is to pursue a career, make their mark in the world, and have their own unique identity, all while being a good wife and mother of course.

Hopefully, most of you reading a publication such as this one see, or are beginning to see, the perversions of feminism for what they are. But even so, I am convinced that this leaven is still making its way into the lives of women who are seeking to live in a godly way. We can have a good deal of the world filtered out of our lives, and we can even know the scriptures and have strong beliefs about submission and honoring and respecting our husband, and yet these influences can still subtly slip in through the things that do touch our lives, even through other sisters we come in contact with.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. And the man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man."

(Gen 2:18, 22-23)

*but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake. (1 Corinthians 11:7-9)



The scriptures clearly teach that we women are created to be a "helper suitable" ("help meet" in KJV) for the man in our life-our husband. We were created for his sake, not he for ours. Now if these scriptures rub you the wrong way and irritate you then you probably have some views on the roles of men and women that are amiss, and this could also be a key indicator that you have dishonor and disrespect toward your husband. Knowing that none of us are exempt, let's go through some questions and take a hard honest look to see if we have allowed the world's ideals about men to creep into our own hearts and take root. Be faithful to be "gut honest" with yourself in answering these questions or this little exercise will bear no fruit in your walk with the Lord and marriage. If you uncover any of these wrong beliefs, judgments, and attitudes then uproot them so that you can go on to be a women who truly honors, reveres, respects, fits around, and admires your husband.



* Do you ever snicker at your husband (or men in general) when they demonstrate an inability to handle the children or manage money or do various tasks? Look and see if there is an attitude behind the snickering and if it is driven by a belief that you know more then they do or you can do it better. Sure, it is reality that some people are more knowledgeable about some things than others and that some people are more skilled at certain things than others are. But what I'm talking about here is a condescending kind of laughing at him, one that has a "you stupid man" element to it. If you recognize this in your heart than know that it is the world's leaven.
We can be so arrogant sometimes, can't we? Granted, men handle things very differently than women do. They aren't as gentle, quiet, or delicate as we are-and they shouldn't be. Learn to enjoy the differences between you and your husband, between a female vessel and a male vessel. But don't ever look down upon him and belittle him by laughing at him, even if it's behind his back, and especially not in front of the children. It undercuts him and communicates to the children and others that "He's just a big fool" or "He just doesn't get it."

* Do you have a never-ending supply of suggestions, commentary, and "helpful hints" on most everything he considers or does? The Lord has called us to serve our husband by helping him, yes, but He has not called us to lead or teach him (1 Tim. 2:12), or to be his Holy Spirit or his Mama. No doubt we have things to add and our husband really does need our help, but we can take this way too far and move over into monitoring, baby-sitting, taking over, and leading. The way we can best help him is by fitting with him, following his lead, and taking care of whatever he need us to carry while walking alongside of him. We don't need to think for him or take it upon ourselves to scrutinize everything he does. To do so is very dishonoring and is not our place.
The Lord did not put us in charge nor has He called us to lead our families. The God-ordained mantle for this has [obviously] fallen upon our husband (1 Cor. 11:3). We need to trust him and be sensitive to only give ideas and suggestions when he wants them. If you are in a situation and are not sure if it is one of those times, ask him, but don't be offended if he says "not right now"-remember, you asked and he is answering honestly; the help is for him, not for you. If you have spent a long time walking inappropriately here, you need to understand that it will take a lot of time to learn to recognize what he really wants from you in any given situation. If it seems good to you to humble yourself to your husband about your weaknesses in this area, he will probably have some excellent examples, guidelines, and thoughts on the matter.



* Do you come behind your husband and either take over what he is doing or redo what he has already done or complete what he has begun? Even if we do not like the way he did something or we are aware of something he has forgotten, we should not take it upon ourselves to "save the day." It is simply not our place to assert ourselves in this way, and it is very insulting to him. For example, let's say you have invited another family to come over for dinner and your husband is outside grilling the meat in a way you do not prefer. It would be better for him to burn it all to a crisp than to go out there, take the fork or spatula from his hand, and bump him over so you can do it your way. This would be treating him like an idiot. If he ruins the meal then perhaps next time he will ask for your help in how to do it better, but your involvement would originate from his desire, not from your assertiveness.
Or let's say your husband sets the table. You don't need to come behind him and redo what he has done simply because it is not Emily Post. Or if he has not finished a project or a certain task, don't complete it for him unless he has asked you to. I'm not talking about those times where like you finish raking the leaves for him while he is at work just to bless him when he gets home and sees it done. I'm talking about times when you step in and complete something for him because you are fearful he won't finish it or you judge him incapable of finishing it or you want to make sure it gets completed in a certain way or by a certain time. Your stepping in betrays the "my husband is an idiot" leaven, even if, in the end, he never gets around to finishing it or discovers he truly is incapable or does it in a way or timeliness that is not your preference. Respect his place as head of the home and let his choices/actions stand for what they are.



* Let me ask you straight up: do you tell your husband what to do? "No way!" we would surely all answer. But have you ever handed your husband something and said, "Here, you hold this while I get such and such," or, "Honey, the baby needs changing-get me a diaper," or, "I need for you to cut Johnny's meat while I get the rolls buttered." We need to ask not tell (command). It may only seem like a matter of semantics on the surface but regularly doing these types of things betrays a bad posture in our heart. No one bosses around anyone they look up to and respect. Jesus said, "The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart" (Matt. 12:34). I encourage you to look closely at the way you word things when talking to your husband and see if you boss him around.



* When your husband has led in something do you ever override him? Unless it is a matter of severe injury or death, this is something we should never ever do for any reason including our feeling like we know or understand or perceive something in a situation that he doesn't. It is particularly crucial that we do not do this in front of our children because it undercuts him in his role as head of the home and encourages them to join with you in disrespecting him. In other words, you doing so will spread the "daddy is an idiot" leaven into your children's hearts and lives even if they never consciously think that specific thought.

Let's say little Suzy asks to go play outside and Daddy answers, "No, Sweetie, you haven't been feeling well lately so you need to stay inside," and then you jump in and say, "Honey, it's really fine that she goes out and plays. She has been feeling much better and she needs to go out and get some fresh air." This assertion directly undercuts him, and more than likely Suzy will flash a glance at her father and then run out the door to go play. You may be exactly right on the actual issue of how Suzy is feeling, but it matters little because you are wrong on something far more important. Your husband always needs to be the one with the last word on anything. Back him up and don't presume he doesn't know what he is doing. Support him and what he says or leads in even if he does not have all of the facts. If need be, you can always pull him aside and, in complete privacy, say, "Sweetheart, I just wanted to make you aware of (fill in the blank) in case that changes the way you feel about (the situation)." There is humility and a submitted heart in that, isn't there? The point is not the degree of perfection in how or what he leads in. The point is that he is the one who leads.



* Do you ever apologize to others for how your husband has led you/your family or for something he has said or done? Do you ever distance yourself from your husband's decisions in front of others in order to somehow win their approval? This too is a form of undercutting him and communicating to others that you think your husband is an idiot. He is a man-let him stand or fall before the Lord for what he says or chooses. If he is a good and godly man, he will learn from situations where he is wrong and will make things right. If he isn't a good and godly man, I'm very sorry you are stuck in such a marriage. But regardless of where he falls on the scale from wonderful to "rough around the edges" to deeply hardened, even if he is "disobedient to the word," we are to "be submissive to him and win him without a word by our chaste and respectful behavior" (1 Pet. 3:1-6).
The other issue here is our wanting to look good. Most of us are not in a more extreme type of situation like the one I just mention. Instead, we are simply embarrassed or uncomfortable by something our husband said or did in front of others, and we want to somehow come out looking good or make sure his actions didn't hurt our "approval ratings." So we roll our eyes or sigh loudly and give him a look or silently mouth out the words "I'm sorry" behind his back or do something that lets the others know that we join with them in looking down on or disapproving of whatever it was our husband just did. This is very dishonoring of him and we do not need to do such things even if he has done something dishonorable. We really are to be with him "for better or for worse."


In conclusion, these are just a few examples of how disrespect toward our husband can be held in our heart and come out in our actions. Whenever we catch ourselves thinking and acting out of attitudes along the lines of "he just doesn't get it" or, in a more self-focused sense, we are "the glue that holds this family together," or we find ourselves looking down on him or often frustrated with him, these are warning signs that this corrupt leaven is in operation within us. As with anything in our life in the Lord, the goal here is not to merely change our outward behavior, though it will certainly need to be changed. The goal is first and foremost a change of heart that can only come by seeing these worldly beliefs, letting them go, and turning to the truth (Eph. 5:33). If we get this right, the change in behavior comes more naturally and is real.

For those of you who have walked in these kinds of ways for a good while, you need to realize that it will take a lot of time and diligence on your part to get "unleavened," break old habits, and change unhealthy ways of relating to your husband. You are looking at changing something that has become foundational in your marriage and foundations are never easily changed, but with God's grace they can be redeemed. For those of you who are just starting out in marriage, you need to "nip this in the bud" before it blooms into something foul in your relationship with your husband. Perhaps you are carrying the attitude your mother had toward your father over into your marriage and you are only now beginning to realize it. Or perhaps you are like the rest of us who, even with a good foundation, got home from the honeymoon and soon thereafter thought, "I didn't know honoring and submitting to my husband meant THIS!" Whatever the cause, put a stop to this before it goes any further. And whatever your situation, do not get bogged down in discouragement if you find yourself doing any of these things. Instead, humble yourself before the Lord, allow Him to purify any and all impure motives in your heart, and let the Holy Spirit move you on in His life.

My blogging friend Gae, who lives "down under" in Australia and writes on her beautiful blog Cherished Hearts at Home, has allowed me to share with you this recent post of hers which tells us of the true Christian mother. I thought it was simply wonderful and I am so happy to share it with all of YOU !

 How should a Christian mother view children?

1. As a gift and miracle from God and not as drudgery.

2. She has been entrusted by God to care for them for their time on earth.

3. She delights in them and is thankful for them, even on hard days.

4. She is protective, never bad-mouthing her children to others or slandering them.

5. She understands that they are the next generation entrusted with the Gospel.

6. She knows their souls are precious to God and He knows the number of every hair on their head.

7. She knows she is accountable to God for how she raises them so she faithfully sacrifices her love, her patience and her life for them.


8. She understands that even as they are in a state of infancy now that this precious season is quickly fleeting and in a blink of an eye they will grow up---so she savors the moment.

9. She welcomes the number of children the Lord gives her and treasures each one in her heart because she knows the He has a purpose for each and every single one--- even if the world doesn't see it that way. She rejects the lie that children are a burden.

10. She understands and embraces the future--she knows her job is not done when her children graduate from high school or when they turn eighteen, instead it continues on until she takes her last breath.

11. As she cares for a crying infant or sick child she realizes it is part of God's great plan to mold her into becoming a nurturing mother and into the image of Christ.

12. She acknowledges that she is the best one to take care of them as God has chosen to give them to her. She understands her children in a way that a stranger cannot. She realizes that mothering is her sacred work and is careful not neglect her responsibilities. She is protective over who cares for her children.

13. She recognizes her season with little ones and uses wisdom. She tries to surround herself with like minded women who are going through the same season or have been through it and can encourage and support her.

14. The Christian mother does not rely Oprah, Dr. Bob or the latest trends in parenting magazines for wisdom but instead searches God's Word to help her raise her family because it is the source of all truth.

15. She clearly understands that she and her husband are an undivided team when it comes to parenting their children and respectfully allows him to lead the home. She knows that if she is dominating, controlling or manipulating she would destroy her home so she purposefully learns to trust God on matters of submission.

16. She wisely spends her time in prayer---for herself to be a godly mother, for her husband to be a godly father and for children's salvation and their futures. She knows her time in prayer is never wasted time.

17. The Christian mother seeks to educate her children about the Lord so she wisely invests her days teaching them all she knows about Him and His Word.

18. When her season of raising her children has passed, she looks forward to investing her time and love into her grandchildren as they arrive. She doesn't try to move far away to 'begin living her life' but instead she considers them a blessing and her love for them evident. She considers it an honor to take part in their lives. She is loyal encourager and faithfully supports her children in raising her grandchildren.

 There is a young wife and mother named Jess, who writes on her blog called "Making Home".

 I am sharing two of her recent posts with you as I found both of them very applicable and encouraging for us women; especially stay-at-home mothers in this modern world.

I must say, Jess is quite a few years younger than I am, and it gave me great hope to read these sorts of thoughts from a younger woman.

May you be blessed by sharing these writings with me:

 Sanitizing the Suffering Right Out of our Lives

• Don't like the city you live in? Move!
• Don't like your spouse? Get a new one.
• Don't like your car? Trade it in!
• Friendship get uncomfortable? "Defriend" them (on Facebook) and avoid all contact.
• Don't like the inconvenience of pregnancy? Avoid the hassle through any number of available methods!
• Don't like your boss? Put in your notice and look elsewhere.
• Don't like the service you received? Complain!
• Don't like feeling variances in temperature? Set your thermostat so you always have it precisely where you like it.
• Don't get along with someone at your church? Find a new one.

• Suffering teaches us to how to endure with hope.
• Suffering with Christ is a witness that we really are children of God.
• However heavy the suffering is, the weight of it can remind us of just how much more glorious the coming days will be.
• Suffering reveals our shared humanity and gives us the opportunity to act as the body of Christ.
• Going through times of suffering teaches us how God comforts us, so that we can comfort others with that same God-given comfort.
• It is a gift to not only be able to believe in Christ, but to suffer for Him.
• Suffering gives us new eyes to see that so many things we value are really as rubbish in comparison with knowing Christ.
• Suffering is part of God's boot camp and trains us to be stronger.
• Times of suffering give us reference points of God's faithfulness to prepare us for future suffering, and remind us to look with joy towards His future eternal faithfulness.
• Suffering drives us to prayer.
• Everyone suffers, whether for foolish things or good things. If it's God's will that you suffer, it's better that it be for doing good.
• Suffering reminds us that we aren't in control, and that we can rejoice in Christ-- the bearer of the Name Above All Names.
• Suffering unites us with hurting Christians around the world and can quicken our minds and hearts to pray for them.

The Word makes it clear that as humans, we will suffer, and even moreso, as Christians, we will suffer. Though it's painful, unpleasant, and often leaves us sore and shocked, we should not run from the suffering God has placed in our lives. I can tell you, from our experiences-- with unexplained sickness, miscarriages, and facing unexpected life changes, which is still nothing compared to the suffering of so many-- that suffering does indeed teach endurance. It is valuable for one's character. It absolutely can deepen faith in Christ. It gives us a oneness with other hurting people. Suffering moves us to prayer. It teaches us more about how to comfort and love others who are hurting. It gives a deeply needed perspective in our highly-controlled, highly-comfortable lives.

Please hear me-- I'm not saying we should seek to suffer. Nor that we should never seek to change a situation if there is pain or discomfort.

But what I am saying is that when your marriage relationship is discouraging, or when there is no fruit on the vine of your life, or when you've been publicly humiliated, or when sickness has taken hold, or when a relationship gets extremely uncomfortable, or when you suffer deep loss, or when there seems to be nothing left, or when it would just be easier to leave and find a new church, or when everything looks bleak, or when you lose your job, or when you have overdrawn your account, CHRIST IS THERE. HE knows suffering. HE bore suffering. He will walk with you and teach you unspeakable things in some of the lowest moments if you'll let Him.

Don't be tempted to sanitize suffering out of your life... pray. Look for what He will do. Be patient. Don't run from it-- endure! Read of His sufferings. Dare to hope. Cling to Christ!

 AND HERE IS ANOTHER VERY INSPIRATIONAL PIECE FROM THE SAME AUTHOR:

Combating the "You Should Get Out of the House More" Mentality

 Kimberly, owner of the Catholic Family Vignettes blog has been suffering in recent days from self-doubt and confusion and that overwhelming feeling that can attack mothers who have been in the trenches of home schooling and raising a family for a while. She very generously and eloquently shared her emotions with her readers. God blessed her through the consolation and empathy and compassion that was returned to her in the comment section of her post. One reply, in particular captured the hearts of MANY (including myself!)...It comes from a young woman, who is one of eleven children, and although now grown and on her own, was home schooled by her own mother. Her reply was deeply moving for me. Thus, I am posting it here to share with you and have included a link back to Kimberly's blog and the original post: 

 http://catholicfamilyvignettes.com/2009/04/23/humbled/

You needn’t worry. You are God’s dear, dear daughter. Trust in Him.

I was home-schooled my entire life, Kimberly. My devoted father and mother sacrificed everything to this end. I can remember so very well how often my mom feared she was failing us. Her tears and her pain, when I think of it now as a mother myself, must have been unfathomable. But all of her fears were just the opportunity for her to trust in the Divine Teacher. Most importantly, she was giving us the Faith - all ELEVEN of us – teaching eight at one time. But she was also giving us a superb education. Her consolation cannot have been enjoyed until 22 years after she started on her difficult journey to keep us Catholic - all of us. But to give you an idea of this “insufficient” education that was being imparted by this ordinary mother/teacher (extraordinary in my book), I will simply give you the facts…8 of us were accepted to major university (the others chose trade school or junior college for financial reasons), all graduated with BA/BS degrees with honors, three of whom earned Summa Cum Laude accolades. One brother graduated Salutatorian from Loyola Marymount University. That being said, what truly matters is that we all have the Faith! You may not know your reward here. You don’t need to. Your reward is in Heaven a hundred fold. May God bless every mother who perseveres in carrying so heavy a cross for His honor and Glory. He knows well that you are tired but He knows also that He has made you strong. Persevere. When you see only one set of footprints, it is then that He is carrying you.

With Love in Prayers,
A Friend in Christ

 This delightful post came from the following site:

THEY DID IT RIGHT IN THE OLD DAYS.

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen, anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.'

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

These beautiful thoughts come to us from DAILY BLESSINGS MEMBER:

KELA whom you may visit here: http://pursuingwhatisexcellent.blogspot.com/

Saturday, April 4, 200

Shift

I found this link in a posted reply over on The Homeschool Lounge...and all I can say is: WHAT A TREASURE!!! I am going to be looking for a hard copy of this gem of a book...it was written in the 1800's and it is called "Home-Making"...You MUST take a look!

Ladybaker, one of our members her on DAILY BLESSINGS wrote her recent reflections on this topic in her "Mammafied" blog:

http://ladybaker2008.blogspot.com/

I wanted to share a part of that post with you. It is a beautiful prayer that came from her heart...I thought it was perfect, and have copied it to pray for my own children. I thought you might like to do that too.

Visit "mammafied" to read the rest of the post and more great writings by Ladybaker.

 "Heavenly Father, I lift up my boy's future spouses to You and ask that You will guard, protect and keep them from the evil one and from all impurity. I pray for their parents and ask You to strengthen their marriage so they will be raised in a strong Godly home. Shape and mold them by your Holy Spirit and help them to stay on your path so they may find the destiny You have prepared for their future."

This beautiful writing comes from Belinda, whose absolutely marvelous site you can visit here:

http://www.lifestyle-homeschool.com/index.html

What is Success?

Our understanding of Success will have a direct affect on the choices we make as we homeschool our children.

note: (from Judy): The following is in no way meant to diminish or negate the accomplishment of earning a college degree...but rather, is intended to place value and worth on the accomplishment of being a wife and mother at home!

*******************************

You can visit Angi on the Lounge here:

I am the envy of many.

Haha...got your attention didn't I?! I just had to share this letter I got in the mail today. My sister and I have been laughing so hard, our insides hurt. Here's a brief synopsis:

Dear Angela,
You were recently chosen as a candidate to represent the professional and business community of (my city, Indiana). We are pleased to notify you that your candidacy was formally approved March sixth...

The publishing committee selected you as a potential candidate based upon your CURRENT standing as well as criteria from executive and professional rosters. Given your background, the Pub. Directors believes your profile would make a fitting addition to our Honors Edition publication.

Once finalized, your listing will share prominent space in the Biltmore Registry with thousands of fellow achievers across the nation, each representing individual accomplishment within their own geographical area.

Sincerely,
Registry Administrator

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. The biggest award I have rcvd from my career thus far has been a card made by my 8yo stating that I am "The Best Mom In The Whole Wide World". (I bet none of you have gotten that award before, wink wink.) This letter just got me thinking about my life before Christ popped me on the head and told me to homeschool. I thought earning a degree would change everything for me. (I graduated from college when my youngest daughter was 3, I put both my children on the back burner for an education and potential career.) I surely thought businesses would be banging on my door and begging me for my services. It didn't take long before I realized that earning my degree, to many businesses, was kind of like getting my ears pierced. I'd say "Did you notice I got my ears pierced?" "Oh", they say, "thats nice." What a wake up call I had. I ended up getting a job making LESS then I did before I earned my degree. The market had sank after 9/11 for convention and event managers and without experience, my degree was just something that got skipped over during an interview.

Now, had I not listened to God and stayed home with my children, this letter would have verified just how wonderful I am. Justification for a job well done, people were noticing that I worked hard and wanted to recognize me for it. Its amazing what a different pair of glasses will let you see. Looking out of the ones God fitted me with, I can see my girls flourishing and truly enjoying their lives. We have a wonderful relationship and have the flexibility to take off and help of a family member is sick or dying. My girls aren't sending text messages all day during class and they aren't being exposed to drugs, sex or violence. God has put so much control in my hands with my family that I've never felt so needed and important. I am making a difference in the midst of our home, the most important home to me on earth.

Every now and again, I grab those other glasses and put them on and see someone different. Someone who isn't living up to their potential someone who should be making enough money to buy my husband a bass boat and add enough income where we can have cars younger then 10 years old. I start doubting my homeschooling ability and wonder if my kids are getting what they need for a successful life.

Those glasses don't stay on long with friends I've made here in the lounge, and with my support system at our co-op. That is what seems to be so funny about this letter. Just so you all know, I have never had a job where I've been anything more then a peon just earning my buck. The only realy gift I know I have is with doing hair. I'm called the hair magician among my friends for all the fun styles I give their children. So I am albe to see this letter for what it really is. Some marketing ploy prowling on women who need to feel recognized.

As for me...I am keeping my letter to show all my friends and family, we will all laugh and then throw it away. My fancy degree is stuffed in a box in my closet, next to my fancy suit that wouldn't fit me if I used a shoehorn to get into it. And my BEST MOM IN THE WHILE WIDE WORLD card is hanging on the front of my fridge where I get to enjoy it everyday.

Have an awesome day. I know I will....I'm still laughing!!

***********************************

ARIDITY

A True Blessing in Disguise

What about the soul that is beset with aridity?  This poor soul, once nearly carried away with joy and enthusiasm for anything and everything pertaining to God, cannot any longer feel any sense of God’s presence, or (perhaps) even any sense of God’s will for it, nor - most especially - God’s beneficence towards it.  The well has dried up.

The worst thing one can do with a dried up well is to relentlessly go at it with a bucket, trying frantically to scoop up water that is simply not there.  All this produces is frustration, confusion, and ultimately - if a more sober and practical course is not taken - depression and even  despair.

Such aridity comes in varying degrees:  all in accordance with what God allows or directly wills for the benefit of the soul to whom it has come.  Just to realize this fact is the first sound and good thing that this soul can do for itself in this situation.  It can, at the very least, make the intellectual assent to the premise that God is all Good; therefore, whatever He allows or wills to happen to any soul He has created, is for that soul’s ultimate good.  Indeed:  for its’ very salvation.  The soul does not (necessarily) have to “feel” this in order to properly make this intellectual assent.

Moreover, if that soul can find the strength to do so, it should accompany this assent with a spiritual act of the will to hold firm in faith to this premise also; not at all to desperately or frantically cling to it; not at all to ignore or repress its’ own anger, frustration and confusion…..but to simply hold steadily and firmly to this premise - that God is doing something good for it - since deep in its’ center it knows this to be true, despite the fact that it is incapable of sensing it just now or being happy about it just now.

That is one thing the soul should try to do.  Another is this:  stay calm!  There is no need to get overly excited and go running around in a hyper state in search of some quick fix.  There is no quick fix for this condition.  It is simply a matter of God’s good grace, operating as it knows best, and once the soul has made its’ intellectual and spiritual assent to this, it should just try to remain calm and patient.  (If Michelangelo had been forced to paint the Sistine Chapel in just one week, the result would have been a complete mess instead of a timeless masterpiece).   Not that God could not completely change the state of this soul in a single instant if He should choose to do so.  Certainly He could.  Certainly He would, if that were the very best route to take.  Ordinarily it is not.  As far as human beings are concerned, quick, magic-like fixes are more likely to breed complacency than Faith.  It is struggle - as the human existential situation would have it - that yields real Faith.  God wishes for the soul to come to know Him as a loving Father, not a magician.  There is always, where Love is concerned, a mutual consent, a mutual effort, a mutual call and answer process, the beauty and the depth of which becomes more and more apparent over time for the soul that sincerely applies itself to it in spite of the difficulty involved with such effort.

Calm.  Calm and patience are what God is trying to give to this soul.  The paradox is that He GIVES these virtues by DEMANDING them from that very soul!  It is a truly mysterious process that cannot be over analyzed or explained.  Let this soul simply stay calm and keep its’ eyes and ears open, without judgment, without too many questions, and with great Hope.

Once the soul seems to be managing this relative calm it can then set for itself what Saint Teresa of Avila liked to call, “a determined determination”.  The soul must be truly determined NOT TO GIVE UP and NOT TO ABANDON prayer, (above all).  It must absolutely continue, as best it is able, to invite God’s Grace and God’s will thru prayer.  Do not give up in the middle of the desert, O arid soul, or surely you shall die of thirst!  Keep walking. Carry on!  What loving Father would not eventually place some cool water upon your path that you might drink , be refreshed, and continue your journey?  Ask then for suitable  nourishment but DO NOT GRAB GREEDILY FOR IT!  Be assured that the gift of increased Faith - like any other gift - cannot be stolen!  It must be received!  Received that is, at the moment, the precise moment, that its’ giver is ready to give it.  No sooner.  Often times it is exactly this kind of spiritual greed that prompts God to envelope the soul with aridity:  so that it may look beyond the gifts to the One Who gives them.  The soul needs ever to remember that it is the very Face of God that it is seeking in life; not merely an “experience”, or “sense”, or “feeling” of His presence or Goodness.   These things typically mark the beginning portion of a serious spiritual journey.  As the call to Faith gets deeper, and the soul draws closer and closer to God (and God to it), they become less and less important.

Whatever the reason - and it is not always the same one - that God decides to have a soul travel thru an arid stretch of interior landscape, that soul needs to remain utterly determined.  It needs to pray every day.  Perhaps with less words; perhaps with greater honesty; perhaps with more gratitude; perhaps with less formality and pretense; but pray it must; hiding nothing from God nor from itself. 

Usually such a soul cannot pray as often as it once may have, because now it seems so painful to do so.  Things that used to bring it such joy are now a source of repugnance and confusion.  No matter!  God is absolutely aware of its’ pain and confusion.  He is not looking for the soul to simply pray voluminously; He is looking for it to pray honestly and with a quieter, steadier Faith and Trust.  The soul needn’t drive itself crazy trying to always be thinking something concrete about God, under the (deluded) notion that by doing so it is “praying always” (as  Scripture says).   God is trying to teach it the broader, wider, deeper, more contemplative interior landscape of prayer.  This soul needs to listen attentively WITHOUT STRAINING and without asking too many questions.  Pray.  Pray, but without the (inordinate) desire to “feel”, “see”, “sense”, or understand at all what God is affecting  within it.  There will come a Peace that “surpasses all understanding”. 

Let the soul assent in Faith.

Let it stay calm.

Let it be determined, (and watchful).

After all of this, the arid soul needs to be very grateful.  (Joy, real joy in the Spirit, is directly proportionate to the souls’ measure of gratitude.  Gratitude produces Joy!)  Expressing gratitude is however one of the more difficult things for the soul to do while it travels in arid territory.  The aridity causes the soul to feel unequivocally hypocritical whenever it attempts to express its’ gratitude to God.  This is because it does not really FEEL such gratitude.  Therefore it thinks it is saying (to God) that it is grateful but deep within the inner man it feels as though it is in fact not, (grateful).  Not to worry.  Not to worry at all:  God knows precisely what the soul is truly feeling and what it isn’t.  God knows whether or not that soul is being sincere or just going thru motions that it has convinced itself it is obliged to go thru.

Let this soul then gently beg the Good Lord for the Grace to be sincere and to be sincerely grateful:  even for  - especially for - seemingly impossible trials that it certainly does not understand.  All it does have to understand is that if it REALLY DOES desire this kind of Grace…………God will give it!  It may come at a time other than when the soul would prefer.  It may arrive unnoticed and unheralded and be discovered only in hindsight.  It may come in a context or manner that the soul would never have expected.  (Recall how surprised Mary and Joseph were to find the young Jesus in the temple debating and discussing with the elders!)  It will come, sometimes slowly and imperceptibly at first and then manifest itself more clearly according to the degree in which the soul is paying good attention.  Be assured, it WILL come.

The Grace of sincerity and humility and honesty is almost always one of the primary blessings that God is attempting to give to the soul that is suffering from aridity.  Aridity is just one of many roads that lead directly to these kinds of Graces.  It is in fact a GREAT GIFT, albeit one that is largely misunderstood and particularly feared.  Yet aridity is always a call to a deeper, simpler, purer, wider, more abiding Faith.  No one can “Love the Lord God with his whole heart, mind, soul and strength” without Faith!  Since Faith - like all good things - comes from God, aridity then must be seen for what it truly is:  one of many means that God uses to impart this gift of Faith to the soul.  A true blessing in disguise.

The dissolution of pride is never without some pain.  The road to a great big kind of Faith is never without some doubt.  This is merely the nature of being human; this is the nature of Calvary; this is the nature of what it means to “die with Christ so that we may rise with Christ”.  There is no avoiding this struggle, but there is no need to fear it either.

Of all the “blessings in disguise” that can possibly be received, aridity is, without a doubt, one of the very finest.  God gives it to His friends, or, at least, to those He is asking to be good friends.  He gives this blessing to the souls He knows have a desire to know Him and Love Him in a deeper and truer way than even they are aware of.  (The soul, after all, cannot be exactly sure as to the extent of its’ own longing).

It must be said too that God does not leave the soul totally blind; at least not for any longer than it can stand.  The soul, practically speaking, can always look to the lives and teachings  of the prophets and the saints throughout the ages for help.  It can look to the Mass.  It can and SHOULD look to the plain, everyday, ordinary and common comfort of constructive time spent with friends and family to bolster it.  These are genuine proofs and evidences of God’s love and God’s presence.  They are there for the soul to see and appreciate.  While it suffers with aridity the soul might not find any great joy in any of these things, but it will nonetheless find a secret strength therein that will help it to carry on.

It need not accuse itself or beat itself down.  It need not succumb to fear or anxiety.  There are supports for it that are readily accessible and quite effective even if not always supremely comfortable.  Let the soul look to these, gently and with humble confidence.

One more very important thing!  The soul beset with aridity should make a concerted and honest effort to go out of its’ way to be extra charitable to others; to be especially sympathetic, charitable and compassionate towards others during its’ own time of need.

NOTHING DRAWS FORTH THE MERCY OF GOD more THAN THE SOULS’ HONEST ATTEMPT TO BE LIKE HIM IN MERCY!  (The Visitation of Mary to Elizabeth is a very good thing for this soul to ponder during this time).  The graces that await a soul that is willing to expend this effort of being charitable while it is itself suffering are MANY and PROFOUND.  They bring the Mind of Christ to the weakest of minds; they bring the Heart of Christ to the darkest of hearts; they bring absolute rivers of “life-giving waters” to the driest of souls.

There is no soul more grateful for the life giving water of the Holy Spirit than the soul that has journeyed thru the most arid of deserts.  That soul will come to know that what feels so much like an absence of God is actually an intimate touch of the Holy Spirit, designed to produce the deepest, most abiding kind of Joy and Faith.

Let the soul welcome and embrace that “absence”; let it stretch forth over that abyss, calmly and with great determination and Hope that the “Father Who sees in secret, will surely reward it in secret”.

Jesus Himself has promised this.

Arid Soul!  Smile and embrace His promise, for He longs to be your friend!

 Lindafay, from the WONDERFUL (and I mean WONDERFUL) blog:

Higher Up and Further In (link below) wrote this piece which I found very thought-provoking. The first part (in italics) is a quote from one of Miss Charlette Mason's writings. The second part (not in italics) is Lindafay's personal thoughts on Miss Mason's writings.

Lindafay's blog:

 http://higherupandfurtherin.blogspot.com/

I can think of two sure-fire ways to guarantee carelessness in a class. One
is a teacher who constantly lectures and won't stop talking. We all know someone
in person who bores everyone by always explaining and clarifying. What makes us
think that children aren't just as bored by that? They try to tell us that with
their wandering eyes, listless expressions and fidgeting hands. They're using
every communicative aspect of their body language to tell us, and kindly adults
simply assume that it means the children just want to play or go outside. But it
isn't play they need; they only need to play some of the time. What they really
need is knowledge expressed in literary language. The chatter of their smiling,
pleasant teacher leaves them cold. And there's another practice that we think
makes learning easier, but that unwittingly contributes to mental lethargy. We
take pride in reviewing and going over and over the material to be sure that the
students get it. But that kind of monotony is deadly to children's minds. One
child wrote, 'Before we had these living books, we had to keep reading about the
same things again and again.' taken from the modern version, pg 52
of Vol 6

It took me awhile to let go of my education degree and stop dumbing down the material for my children. At first, I felt I needed to explain every word or idea they may not have understood. Later, I realized that the children enjoyed the beautiful language even if they didn't understand every word. They were getting the big picture and that was what mattered. After narrating back to me, they sometimes revealed that they missed the big picture and so I would offer some extra words of explanation. In this way, the knowledge found in its original form was not diluted by my own attempts at clarification. I have caught myself at times offering too much explanation about a passage I was reading to my children. I realized it only after eyes began to wander and yawns escape a child or two. I think a good way to gauge ourselves is to make sure our comments are shorter than the passage itself.


one step at a time...

 You can visit Barbara in the Homeschool Lounge here:

http://www.thehomeschoollounge.com/

Or read more of her writings and blogs at: 

This is an article of mine that was published recently. I thought I would share it with you ladies here. It was published online in a place called The Female Forum. ( http://www.femaleforum.com/s/article/family_time_management_advice/ ). That has mostly a European audience, so some of the words were altered to fit the area ( Like mum instead of mom, and bin instead of trash), so you might notice that! Unless YOU are from that area! LOL!! I hope you enjoy it! Hugs, Barbara

Family Time Management Advice
25 Feb 2009


As the mother of 14 children, I have learned a thing or two about running a home to save both time and my sanity! The first is to stop trying to have children, and live in a home that looks ready for a House Beautiful photo shoot. If you have to have a perfect home you can, but everyone will be miserable and when the kids are grown (sooner than you think) they will not want to come back to visit any time soon. The best thing you can do is streamline your home

Take the bathroom for instance. I know you wanted all 34 shades of pink nail polish, but really, be honest - you use the same two every time, right? So put the other 32 shades away - in the bin is my #1 suggestion but at least out of sight if you cannot bear to part with them. If you go through your home, room by room, and get rid of those kinds of things, your life will improve by 50%, instantly.

A cluttered room causes stress, even if it is clean. Add baby things and toddler toys to an already over-loaded room and you have one big mess. Save the million knick-knacks for when you are old. Right now, have out your favourite few and put the rest away.

The second best thing you can do is allow your children to work with you on the housework. I mean it. I see so many fresh new Mums get worn out trying to keep all the work done, and baby happy, and their toddler entertained. The problem is they think the work must be done when the kids are napping or in bed for the night. Well, baby never naps when dishes need to be done (that’s a baby law or something) and Mummy cleaning at two in the morning is insane.

Instead, allow the children to be a part of your work. I mean it. When you wash dishes, put baby in the high chair with some baby toys and pull that chair right up to you at the sink. You can talk and sing to baby while you work. By having them in the chair they are safe and can see you, so they are also content. Let your toddler help with the laundry. They love to pull the baskets around for Mum. Pulling clothes out of the dryer is great fun! You spin the dial and let them push the button - joy! When you fold, give them all the cloths. Let them fold them. Who cares if they are not done correctly, they are cloths for heavens sake! Praise them and let them carry those cloths and put them away. Don’t you dare go back and re-fold them either, Mum! Let it be.

Enjoy this time with your child. By allowing them to work with you when they are small, you are teaching them several things. One is that housework is not Mum’s job, it is everyone’s job! If you wait until they are old enough to do a job alone to start assigning chores, by then they see that job as yours. They feel you are dumping your work on them. It causes resentment. This way they have always helped. As they get old enough to work alone it is natural for them to do the work alone, while you are tending to other things. In the long run, the time you ‘wasted’ letting them help when they were small will gain you years of stress free time later on. So let those little ones work right along beside you, laugh, work, and play your way through the day together and when it is 2 am you will both be having sweet dreams.

I want to add one more suggestion. Learn to line your jobs up so they take less time. For instance, first thing when you get up start the washer. It can be washing while you make and eat breakfast. By the time you are done with dishes, that load will be ready to put in the dryer. You are a load ahead already that way! Start another load and start supper. Yep! Right after breakfast, put something in the roaster or crock-pot for that evening’s meal. It can cook all day while you do school and take care of the baby. Then you will have time to pick up before supper - because the meal work is done in the morning! Add a veggie or salad and rolls and the meal is done!

One last thought, keep your chin up on the hard days. We all have them now and again. Aim to mostly laugh and play through your day. You are changing the world. You really are. What you are doing not only matters to your child, it matters to the world - they just don’t know it yet. These little lives are the future. They will control the planet one day. What is more important than that? Changing nappies and cleaning might not seem like world changing stuff, but it is. Your children are learning what love feels like, and what sacrifice looks like. As you pour yourself into their world, you are really preparing them for a world that needs a lot of love and sacrifice - so that we can all live happy joyful lives.

Keep at it, Mum! It really is true - the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Go to bed tonight knowing you have made the world one-step closer to how it was meant to be.

This article was written by Barbara Smith. Barbara is the mother of 14 children, and the Author of Polka-Dot Star Flowers: Real Help for Real People. She believes that we all fall down in this life, and that standing back up is half the victory. The other half is helping others stand back up, too.