Hello there. I don't know where to start. I will start by just telling you what has happened to me and my five kids over the past 3 years. I also want to thank you for just stopping and reading. May God Bless you.
I lived in a very abusive marriage for 14 yrs. I have been beaten, I have been drug up and down stairs by my hair, I have been punched in my face and on the top & back of my head, called every name in the book in front of my kids, and I have had my life flash before my eyes. My husband was mentally instable and a very violent person. So 3 years ago, I decided that I had to get my kids away from this man or he was going to kill us all. The breaking point came when he had me up against the wall in our hallway, by my throat, (nearly suffocating me,) and just before I blacked out, I saw my little girls face flash before me. I seen an image of a man doing this to her later in life, and I started screaming: "God, Please Help Me!!!" The next day I did what I was so afraid to do in the past...I got up the courage, finally, to call the police and he was arrested. I went to the courthouse to get a restraining order on him and had him removed from the house. He soon after broke the order by harassing my babysitter and by breaking into the house while I was out looking for a job, and ended up being arrested again. But he had taken all the money we had saved, along with the help from his wealthy family, and was able to hire an expensive attorney, and eventually 'got off' on a technicality. I ended up with a lame attorney that I really couldn't afford, that did very little to help me to get ahead or get me what I deserved after all those years of abuse (and still owe her money to this day!) After finally getting him out of the house and us away from him & danger, we ended up months later in a court room on Nov. 17, 2003 and the divorce was granted. My attorney didn't let me tell the judge all I had been through, all that had taken from us, or all that he had done. I got to keep the house, but only if I took all the credit card debt. So, I agreed and did my part and refinanced my home and put all the credit card debt into it. He was supposed to take all the medical bills and pay that. He was supposed to be taken off the charge cards, but even after I paid them all off, he went & charged more up! He eventually filed bankruptcy on the medical bills, and now all those collectors are after me! For things he bought for himself, and for doctor bills that he never paid, I end up having to pay them! They tell me that since I was married to him, I am legally responsible for this debt, too! It doesn't matter what the divorce degree has to say. My checking account now is being garnished for $206.00 for his false teeth that he got. It doesn't seem fair but that is the law. My phone is always blowing up from all these collectors. I ran a very successful in home daycare but with his violent actions and lies, most of my clients have quit. He doesn't seem to care what happens to me and these 5 kids. In the divorce, the judge gave me a truck that we had leased, and I made all the payments. I had intended on refinacing when the lease was up, but one day I woke up, and it was just GONE! Apparantly, he (my ex) called GMAC, and told him he didn't want it, gave them my address and it was gone. With all my car seats and the kids' cleats, soccer stuff, balls & bats, and alot of personal stuff, just gone. By now my credit score was so crappy, but i needed a vehicle to transport these 5 kids & daycare kids to & from school. I had to go find a new car and got a horrible interest rate, and GMAC wouldn't help, because technically, the truck lease had technically ended. If I had known the lease was up, they would’ve let me keep it, but it was too late... He had my garbage cans repossessed, my utilities (such as power, water and phone) shut off, anything he could do to make us miserable. I had to pay deposits all over again, because everything was always in his name. Every time I turn around or answer the phone there are more problems, all because he's such a deadbeat dad & a worthless pile of crap! He is supposed to carry dental and medical insurance on the kids. He supplied me with the insurance card, finally, after threatening to find him "in contempt". I try to be a good Mom & take care of my kids, routine Dr. Visits & trips to the dentist somehow get squeezed into my schedule. I always found a way to pay the 'co-pays' to them and thought insurance always paid the rest. Well, I got the bill from the dentist and it was well over $1200.00! I couldn't figure it out, we had insurance, right? So I called the insurance company. They didn't want to talk to me, because the policy was in his name only. But by mistake, the insurance company sent a check to my house, and I called to ask them why it wasn't going to the dentist, and they informed me that my ex has all the checks sent to him. Well, he pays the insurance but he doesn't pay the dentist or Dr's, he keeps the checks & cashes them! So now I've got even more debt & collections, not to mention the effects this all has on my credit. I would love to be able to go get another job but I can’t afford daycare for all these kids, and they can't stay home by themselves. I've ran a successful in home daycare for 16 yrs and he ruined that for me also. I don't know what else to do, I can't sleep at night wondering were the next meal is going to come from for these kids and wondering if they are going to have a roof over there head. We eat a lot of Mac-n-Cheese. I could go on forever about all the stuff he has done to me and these kids. Child protective services got involved after an incident that happened while on his visitation, and has since lost all parental rights and visitation because of his anger and physical abuse towards the kids, but now he plays games with the child support & pays only when threatened. Is there anyone out there listening to me?? I truly need help, my kids do, please, please help us so we don't end up on the street! I am so stressed! A mother is supposed to be able to help her kids and I truly feel like I am a failure. I don't know what else to do except to start asking people for their help. If you have any extra in your life today, if anyone ever helped you get through a tough time, if my story touched you at all, please send what you can and pray we make it through these tough times...Thank you so very much for listening, and May God Bless You!
All my prayers, hopes and thanks,
Momma Mary
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