Conker (Conker's Bad Fur Day)
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Fuck off, you damned jackass. What are you doing here? Is reading this
gonna do you any good? Will it? Of course not. Take your sorry fucking
ass and get the fuck off of my site, you stupid fuck!
What's that? You're staying anyway? Well fuck you! Fuck you, fuck your
potato chips, fuck your candy bars, and fuck everything else about you.
You're lucky I don't come over to your fucking house and piss all over
the place. What are you, a fucking retard?
You're still here? Fuck off already!
"Die. You. Son. Of. A. BITCH!" -Conker
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Win-Loss Record
0-3
Summer 2003 Contest
East Division - 13 Seed
Eastern Round 1 --- Lost to (4) Yoshi, 30997 [33.54%] - 61421 [66.46%]
Extrapolated Strength --- 46th Place [17.56%]
Summer 2004 Contest
Hyrule Division - 14 Seed
Hyrule Round 1 --- Lost to (3) Crono, 17605 [22.01%] - 62375 [77.99%]
Extrapolated Strength --- 49th Place [16.37%]
As cool as Conker is, it's clear to see
that he doesn't have much to offer in these contests. He may be a small
step above the typical 3D excusive platformer character, but the fact
of the matter is that he is still a platformer character. This group of
characters --- Crash Bandicoot, Sly Cooper, Ratchet, and Jak to name a
few --- don't perform badly because of being bad characters. A small
bit of research on Conker shows that Conker has the attitude and
character that appeal to GameFAQs voters. The problem comes from the
platformer genre itself. It's simply not popular anymore, and even
Mario himself has been suffering because of this as of late.
It's as simple as that. Only in rare exceptions will platformer
characters do well in this contest. It's a shame, but it's a reality.
Summer 2005 Contest
20XX Division - 8 Seed
20XX Round 1 --- Lost to (1) Mega Man, 23913 [23.98%] - 75807 [76.02%]
Extrapolated Strength --- 51st Place [17.05%]
Conker doesn't get the amount of attention that other no-win characters
receive, perhaps because most of GameFAQs couldn't care less about 3D
platformer characters. He simply doesn't have the inside joke flair
going for him that CATS or Gordon Freeman does, but the end result is
the same. Three matches, three losses.
His bracket placement has also gotten worse by year, and one could
easily assume that Conker only made the Summer 2005 field due to an
Xbox title that came out just before the nomination period. The odds of
Conker even making another contest again, let alone winning a match are
very slim.
-Ulti
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