I see that amongst the world's most common issues are the consequences of having sex at the wrong time, with the wrong person, in the wrong place, for the wrong reasons and in the wrong way. This leads to sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy, abortion (which can destroy you for life), and basically a long list of humiliation. And so I did some research of advices that might help people, especially teenagers who are so eager to start a relationship.

Having sex is like starting a covenant. You may often hear about a blood covenant, sacrifices used in the Old Testament. Well this is similar. The covenant was meant to take place between a married couple, and can be broken when either person cheats. The point is, sex is not a proof of love, but a way of expressing it, and is meant to be sacred (personal, private), so you need to treat it as such.

Here are some useful links in addition to the paragraphs below:

• Why won't my parents allow me to single-date?
• Are there biblical examples of depression and how to deal with it?
• If God knows I am hurting,why doesn't He help me?
• If a christian commits suicide, will he/she still go to Heaven?
• Help for eating disorders
• How do I respect the wishes of my non-Christian parents while still following God's will?
• Sex (sex addiction issues...), Love and Marriage
• 44 Questions for the Not-Yet-a-Believer
• Has science disproved the miracles associated with Jesus Christ?

Video on Aids

General Population and Opinion Leaders
SUV Mom (:30)
Little Reminders (:30)
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Startling Facts (Youth) (:10)
Startling Facts (HIV Infection) (:10)
Startling Facts (Global Prevention) (:10)

African-Americans
Excuses (:30)
Now Available (:30)
Tornado (:30)
Million (:30)
Word on the Street (Sister's Response) (:10)
Word on the Street (Brother's Response) (:10)
Word on the Street (Brother to Brother) (:10)

Young People Under 25
Chain Reaction (:30)
No Excuses (:30)
Bedroom (:10)
Hallway (:10)
Basement (:10)

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• Every human being was created to accomplish something that no one else can accomplish. You were designed to perfectly accomplish your purpose.
• No one can give you your vision. It is God-given.
• You were born at the right time to fulfill your purpose.
• You already know your vision. It is as close as your most persistent thoughts and deepest desires.
• Vision is unselfish, and is the only thing that brings true fulfillement.
• You are not defined by your past or confined by external factors.
• When God gives a gift to someone, He doesn't change His mind about it. Whatever He has invested in you, He wants to see used.
• Whatever God calls for, He provides for. Whatever He requires, He enables us to do.
• "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" (Proverbs 16:9)
• Sight is the ability to see things as they are, while vision is the ability to see things as they should (or could) be.
• There is no huried way to get God' s vision.
• Your greatest challenge is not choosing between 'good' and 'bad' but 'good' and 'best'.
• Every true vision will be tested for authenticity (you  need courage, patience and perseverance to pursue your vision).
• To be successful in your vision, you must have a daily, dynamic prayer life with God.

Ask yourself:

• What is my deepest desire? the idea that never leaves me?
• What do I want to leave tot his generation as a contribution?
• What do I constantly imagine about my future?
• What brings me to greatest fulfillment?
• Who should I associate myself with, in order to improve myself, and not stay stuck in the past's mistakes?

From Brandon D. Hill,
Your Guide to Christian Teens.
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Teens - this article is for you as well. Reading information about parenting can help you to understand what your parents are going through, and it may make you more understanding.

Parents - It is good for you to read what teens are doing in this day and age as well. If both parents and children can try to understand what the other is going through, you have begun the steps to having a good relationship - and I think that is the goal of every parent and child.

From Mike Hardcastle,
Your Guide to Teen Advice.
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When you are nervous or worried the best defense can be a good offence. Here's how to look like you are filled with self confidence even when you aren't.

Difficulty: Average

Time Required: N/A

Here's How:

1.   When you are alone let out a really big scream.

2.   Take a deep breath.

3.   Spash cold water on your face or put a cool cloth on your neck.

4.   Take another deep breath.

5.   Go face the person or situation you fear.

6.   Smile. Smile a lot!

7.   Be polite and pay attention to everything that people are saying. Everybody loves a listener.

8.   Nod a lot and smile some more.

9.   Make brief comments, if your voice is shaky. Use peoples names when speaking to them.

10.   Ask questions or seek clarification (even if you really do understand what the person means), but be careful not to come across as someone who isn't listening.

11.   Follow the conversation and do not take adversarial positions even if you disagree with what is being said. It is better to walk away from a difficult conversation.

12.   Go to the washroom regularly for hand sweat checks and to put cool clots on your neck.

13.   Keep smiling.

Tips:

1. Use people's names when talking to them, it is a personal touch that exudes confidence - but make sure you have their name right!
2. Hold a glass of water and sip it frequently. Do NOT gulp. Having a glass of water keeps your breath fresh and your hands busy.
3. Do not initiate conversations, join in existing ones, if you are nervous being the center of a conversation can make things worse.
4. Smile and maintain eye contact.
5. Before shaking hands with someone, casually put your hand in your pocket to make sure your palm is dry.

From Mike Hardcastle,
Your Guide to Teen Advice.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required:  20 minutes

Here's How:

1.   Keep an eye on how many times you catch her/him staring at you.

2.   Take notice of whether s/he smiles at you a lot.

3.   Look for whether s/he focuses on you in a crowd.

4.   Observe if s/he has suddenly taken more interest in your friends.

5.   Pay attention to any significant changes in her/his behavior toward you recently.

6.   Start showing her/him a bit more interest and see how they respond.

7.   Have a friend talk to her/him or one of her/his friends about you.

8.   Ask, '[name], are you interested in me?'

Tips:

1. Hopefully you will not have to use steps 7 or 8, but if you're having difficulty reading her/him, these steps are your last resort!
2. Remember, this is not an exact science, and it may take a few mistakes to perfect your technique

From Mike Hardcastle,
Your Guide to Teen Advice.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now If you're sick of hiding behind a wall of safety, follow these steps to leave shyness behind and come out of your shell.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required:  5 minutes

Here's How:

1.   Make a commitment to walk away from shyness.

2.   Note the situations where you feel shyness holding you back most strongly.

3.   The next time you are in this situation, do something just a little bit more outgoing than you would normally do (smile, make eye contact, ask a question, etc.).

4.   Relax and remember that mistakes help you learn.

5.   Repeat steps 1-4 until you have reached your desired level of 'outgoingness.'

Tips:

1. As you know, this can be a really tough process. Don't give up.
2. Once you cycle through the steps a few times it gets easier and easier.
3. It takes a lot of practice, hard work, and guts to beat this thing.

From Mike Hardcastle,
Your Guide to Teen Advice.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!

Difficulty: Average

Time Required: years

Here's How:

1.   Know yourself - ask yourself if the situation "feels right" and if you really trust those feelings.

2.   Know your would be partner - ask yourself how well you know the person you are thinking of being with and if you care for them and trust them.

3.   Know your reasons - whatever your reason be sure it is worth giving something away that you will never get back.

4.   Know how your parents feel about you having sex - you may need/want their support and confidence someday, make sure that you have it well in advance.

5.   Know the risks - heart break, regret, pregnancy, STDs, and HIV (AIDS) can all happen the first time you have sex.

6.   Know how to protect yourself - condoms with spermicide are the best protection for sexually active teens. The Pill only protects from pregnancy.

7.   Know that there is no 100% protection against unwanted outcomes if you have sex, only abstinence can totally protect you.

8.   Know the law - in many states you have to be a certain age before you can legally agree to have sex and there are some sex acts that are illegal.

9.   Know what sex is - oral sex, anal sex, lying on top of each other naked and heavy petting are all sexual contact that can result in STDs or HIV (AIDS). Wear a condom!

10.   Know there is NO going back - once you let go of your virginity it is gone forever! Make sure you are ready to say good bye to that part of yourself.

Tips:

1. If you have any second thoughts STOP immediately until you are completely sure.
2. If you can't say "penis", "vagina", "condom", or "intercourse" without laughing you probably aren't ready.
3. You can NOT get pregnant through oral or anal sex, but you can get STDs.
4. The age at which you are "allowed" to have sex is called the age of consent and is different depending on where you live and your sexual orientation.
5. Sex is not bad, dirty or wrong, but it is a BIG step to take. If you can't be mature about protecting yourself from risks, you shouldn't be "doing it".

What You Need:

• A trusted partner.
• A private place.
• A condom.

From Mike Hardcastle, Your Guide to Teen Advice. FREE Newsletter. Sign up now!

You feel very strongly for another person and want to know if what you're feeling is the real deal. Ask yourself these difficult questions.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required:  About 5 minutes depending on the situation usually a lot longer

Here's How:

1.   Ask yourself: 'Would I be willing to let her/him go if I believed it was the best thing?'

2.   Ask yourself: 'Am I willing to wait for this person if s/he is not ready to have sex?'

3.   Ask yourself: 'Would I feel the same way if s/he gained weight?'

4.   Ask yourself: 'Am I willing to sacrifice my dreams to allow her/his dreams to come true?'

5.   Ask yourself: 'Do I respect and admire her/him?

6.   Ask yourself: 'Would I feel the same way if s/he got sick?'

7.   Ask yourself: 'If you two were in an argument, would you feel the same way?'

8.   If you answered 'No' to any of these questions, think about why you gave that answer. Is it a lack of trust? Is it because you're afraid? Is it selfishness? Do you need more time to get to know each other?

9.   If you answered 'Yes' to all of these questions, wow, you feel very strongly about this person. It sounds like you're in love!

Tips:

1. If you're wondering if you're in love, this is often because you might base a decision on your answer. Be careful! Decisions should not be based just on the feeling of 'love'. You should also look at respect, commitment and trust.
2. Ask yourself what it means to you if you believe you're in love. Don't put pressure on yourself to define what you're feeling as love. And don't let anyone else pressure you either.
3. If you're not sure of the answer right now. Give it some time and ask yourelf these questions a few months or a year down the road. You might be surprised to see how your feelings change.

From Mike Hardcastle, Your Guide to Teen Advice. FREE Newsletter. Sign up now!

1. You can't help but smile when you see her/him and s/he is always smiling back.
2. You feel comfortable and secure in the relationship and really trust your partner not to hurt you; ie, there is no need for jealousy or suspicion.
3. There have been good times and bad times and through, or in spite of, them all you have remained together.
4. There are no major dramas in the relationship; ie, you do not test one anothers love, engage in relationship foiling gossip or feel the need to play games.
5. You each do kind and thoughtful things for the other "just because" and doing them makes both people feel good.
6. Outside pressures are few and far between; there are none or only minor issues with peers, friends, family and teachers.
7. There is no violence in the relationship at all -- NONE!
8. You enhance one another, neither one of you presses the other to do things that may lead to harm or that the other is opposed to doing.
9. The things that make you different do not push you apart; ie, different religions, cultural backgrounds or personal beliefs.
10. There is no sacrifice, only compromise.
11. Sex or no sex: it doesn't matter, either way it isn't an issue and nobody has been pressured to do something they weren't ready to do.
12. You know that everything you feel is returned in kind by your partner.

From Mike Hardcastle, Your Guide to Teen Advice. FREE Newsletter. Sign up now!

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required:  15 minutes

Here's How:

1.   Find a time that you and your parents can be comfortable and relaxed together.

2.   Make sure no one is focusing on something else while you're together (paying bills, playing Playstation, making dinner, watching TV).

3.   These first two steps might take some effort and patience. Be persistent!

4.   If you just want to shoot the breeze, try to bring up something they're interested in. Ask them questions about their day (they love this!).

5.   If you have something specific you want to talk about, let them know what it is.

6.   If they react to what you tell them, listen to them. Don't react back!

7.   Let them finish and don't interrupt. Ask them to do the same for you.

8.   When you feel like you've told them what you wanted to, thank them for listening.

9.   If you feel like there are still things that need to be talked about, set up a time with them to talk about it another day.

Tips:

1. Show them respect by focusing your attention on the conversation, looking them in the eyes, and by not being sarcastic or rolling your eyes.
2. Be honest. Honesty builds trust. And life is good when your parents trust you.
3. Stay cool. If you can stay calm if things get heated up, you're showing them maturity.

From Mike Hardcastle,
Your Guide to Teen Advice.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!

There's nothing wrong with getting angry. How you express it is what it's all about.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required:  30 minutes

Here's How:

1.   If you're too angry to think rationally, remove yourself from the situation.

2.   Give yourself a few quiet minutes alone to cool down. Think of something relaxing.

3.   When you feel your body relax, take a few deep breaths.

4.   Return to the original situation and try a different approach.

5.   If your new approach doesn't help you stay in control of your temper, repeat steps 1-4

Tips:

1. Find something that relaxes you (music, skateboarding, drawing, etc.) and do it regularly.
2. If you've got a problem with someone, don't hold it inside, let him/her know about it.

From Brandon D. Hill,
Your Guide to Christian Teens.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!

Abstinence

However, there are important biblical reasons for abstinence that Christians should carefully consider:

The risk of damaging your testimony as a Christian
While it is commonly known amongst Christians that Christians are expected to wait until marriage for sex, there is also this expectation for Christians from the non-Christian world. You have probably felt this pressure in your school when others say "Christians aren't supposed to do this or that." If you have sex before marriage then you may damage your ability to witness as a Christian amongst your peers. Some Christian teenagers think that their peers will not know about their sexual activities, but as most high school students know, gossip travels fast, and it is best 'to remain blameless.'

The risk of disobeying God
The True Love Waits organization tells us: "The Bible, time after time tells us to flee sexual sins.

Why? Because it is a major strategy of the devil to sabotage God's work on Earth."

The Bible also states:

1 Thessalonians 4:3 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;"

While having sexual relations outside of marriage is not going to send you straight to hell, there is a risk of damaging your relationship with God. As Christians it is important to always strive to develop a growing relationship with God.