Below contains the locations that I have studied and events which have occurred during these phases. Please click on the appropriate links below which reveal brief sections of my life.
I went to Mellor Primary School between 1987-1991. Teachers included the devious women named Mrs Sullivan and Mrs Lional who both tormented me throughout my stay at Mellor and have also been haunted by them in my nightmares.
From 1991-1996 i went to Rushey Mead Secondary School. Rushey mead was probably the best time of my life. I had a nice bunch of teachers including Mrs McDiamid, Mrs Gray not tot mension Mr Howard. I use to annoy him so much with my so called 'stupid questions'. He got his revenge when at the end of the year i got a bad report.
Vishal Patel standing next to me use to be in most of my classes I remember him being chased by a woman called Deepa. Unfortunately i can't seem to reach her but in the meanwhile, i've got her double below. I also remember Mr Bean who use to be our P.E. Teacher having a right old go at my mate. One time in the lesson, Mr Bean got so mad that he grabbed Vishal's ear and pulled it from side to side. Is this abuse?Vishal didnt pursue the incident which could have left Bean, the vetran of Rushey Mead on the dole. ARE YOU WATCHING BEAN!!!
Shilen was a good lad in my class claiming to be a year older than the reat of the students. He also had moments of panic attacks, more tears than gascoign and more puck than Geri Halliwell down town after a drinking session.
Kelly was a girl who had many wonderful ideas. Such phrases heard by her to our class were: "Where are we?", "Are we there yet?" , "Bhavin, will you go out with me!".
Other people in my class included Shabia, Shaira, Nadia, Reena, Sheetal, Salima, Anil, Mandeep, Jessica, Bhavin, Mayur, Nimisha, Nisha and Rakhee. Also to have been in my class were kelly, Tofiq, Jitesh & Zahire. If i have forgotton someone's name, please email me double urgent
Reena Bhatt was a lovely person from what i remember but i want to know one thing. Can you please explain this. I dare ask what you were thinking when submitting that poem about your cat.
At Regent, i studied Maths, Physics and computing as A level subjects. I also had to re-take english (but keep it down)! In my maths and physics classes, there was one of my good mates called Mudassir. He was called 'Mud' for short. We use to get up to enough trouble. There was one incident where we came into our Maths class 30 minutes. Our teacher called Mrs Fennel looked at us and asked where we had been. "Superbowl mum," was Mud's accidental and truthful answer (not that she was his mum or anything). Later that week, she even complimented him by looking over his desk and saying:"Ohhh, thats a big one!" Everyone started laughing but the real truth is that he was infact wearing a plaster on his hand which was below the desk (so you dirty girls can forget what you had seen in ur vivid imaginations)Thats as far as the excitement got. College life in actual fact has been the worst time of my life because it was too boring.
I've got to mention a few people that are getting/already married from Regent. These people are:
I heard a rumour which was quite amusing back in the days at Regent. There was this bloke (for legal reasons i can't mention his name) was in his bedroom. So to speak, he was 'flogging the dolphin', 'Spanking the monkey', 'Strangling the chicken', etc. His mum then came into his unlocked room and looked at him. She was completely staggered at what she had seen. That bloke then comes out with the first thing in his head which was:'Mum, it was an itch!' He must have had a unique unidentified allegy to cause him to get a woody. Wot a complete JOKER!!
Mmm well what can i say other than im no Michael Schumacer but i'm no Morene. I vividly remember the first time i drove. It was when i was taking lessons with a company called 'Prestige'. When driving through instructors, i believe that you as a client should be taught how to drive in a maximum of 20 lessons doing manuvours including three point turns, reverse parking and reversing round corners in every lesson. With this instructor it was the complete contrary though i did get a lot of practice in being a chaffer. I'm not going to comment on what i thought of the company which was self employed by a bloke called Manjit. I do however can reveal some of the bizarre 'incidents' that occurred when i was driving. Heres a round up of the events:
October 1997: When i just turned 17, i was standing upon some scales and looked down. 9 stones it read and was quite unhappy to see a shabby tall skinny looking figure and knew i had to do something about it. Ajay soon came to my rescue and introduced me to weight training. I used his own multi gym for 2 hours a day, 3 times a week and got results. After a relentless 4 months solid work out, i managed to become totally tonned up. I wanted to persue this even longer however Ajay was too tied up in his business and unfortunately didnt train again for a considerable amount of time. Two years had surpassed and my body became none existant until i went to University.
October 1999: At Uni, i joined the gym when i was 19 for a mear ?18 but spent ?1.50 every time i used it. I used it at least 3 times a week. I use to work really hard but hardly had a motivation because the women were quite rank as they were excersing to lose their 'Jelly on a plate' beer bellies. I trained for 6 months down there and got back to my usual self again. I wasn't really happy because even though i was completly tonned up, i didnt have any weight.
May 2000: I quit the university gym and bought myself some 'proper' weights. It made a hell of a difference working out by myself and was proud of my body after a month.
August 2001: Jamie (my ex flatmate) who watched me a few times training to discover errors in my game, suggested that i take protein. I started the protein diet and noticed huge changes in my physic. It was incredible. I couldnt believe how easy it was to get such definition onto my body. I must have weighed about 14 stones of solid muscle after taking the substance for 2 months.
November 2001: I started to take amino acids as well as the protein for 5 days. On the 6th day, i woke up with a massive hangover and went downstairs to get changed. I felt really heavy and didnt know why i was feeling like that. I started to put my legs into my trousers and pull straight up like usual. However for some reason, i couldnt put my buttons together. I was going to have a right go at my mum because i thought she had shrunk it when doing the washing. However i tried to put my top on and noticed i had a huge bear belly. I was so freaked out that i slapped myself a few times thinking that i was in a dream but it wasnt. I've never been fat in my life and the thought had never entered my head. I've had to stop taking all food suppliments and been on various diets to remove it.
July 2002: I've still got the definition though i'm still looking to clear my belly fully (I'm half way there now). If anyone's got any tips on the reduction of Abs, then please send me an email throught my enquiries page.
September 2002: I've lost loads of weight, back to my skinny self again, lost my pecs, lost my stomach, lost my arms due to the lack of Coke i've been taking.Mandip was the first ever bloke to give me a drink. It was his 18th Birthday party and he was having a house party. He invited all his cousins and few mates round for this event. I always told him that I'd never drink in my life because i wanted to stay 'safe'. He poured out everyone's drink but gave me a coke. As i started to drink it, it tasted a bit funny like a tramp walking down memory lane. As i finished it, i started to giggle a bit and got double vision. I went up to Mandip and asked him what he had done. He told me he had spiked my drink with Bacardi and started to laugh at me because no-one had ever got me drunk or even seen me hold a glass of alcohol. I immediately went home and tried to have a bath. As i got in, i slipped and landed on my back before going straight to bed. I went back to Mandips house the day after and it was in a right state. His cousin had vomited on Mandips. Mandip was so furious with him that he threatened to wank all over his cousins bed for revenge.
Before i went to University, i had never been to a club before. However on the first day, i went to the Student Union night out and it was amazing. There were quite alot of quality looking women in comparison with Leicester's own 'minger' collection
In September 1999, i left my house for the first time in my life and moved over to Bristol. It was the time of my life. I enjoyed every moment of it. I was initially living with me mate Dave, Mark, Tim, Jamie, Graham and Dawn in my first house of the first year though in the second, the first four had their own flat and in came Leeanne to live with me. I remember Mark smashing the bathroom wall and pleading with me to keep give him some celotape to cover it so that the UWE Authorities didnt find out. However i refused because he didnt clean up the toilet sink. When he did so, he used his vivid imagination to clean it up with a MOP!!!!! (p.s.It smelt like urine afterwards)
I remember back in May'2000, I was down Mark's, Tim's and Jamie's flat. They all were in as well as Dave who came in for a brief drink. Somehow Mark and Dave both got really drunk that lead Mark to hover up Daves skin. Dave was so irrate about it that he lobbed out some of Mark's cutlery. Mark thought it was funny so he joined in. He then started to chase Dave right round the house. Dave had the 'pace of phelan' and ran into the bathroom where he locked the door behind him. Mark then leant against the door and smashed his leg against the wall opposite for extra force. He didnt realise that the walls were made out of plaster so as he pushed his foot, he smashed the wall. I couldnt stop laughing but when the big and mighty housemate of his called Jamie walked in, i tried to stop myself from laughing because Jamie was in a right old mood. Luckly for Mark, Jamie was ONLY going to tell the uwe authorities instead of smashing his skull.
I remember the first time i had danced. I was 15 and at my auntie's Reception in 1996. I leaped onto the dancefloor and thought to myself: 'This could be the greatest moment of my life'. Once i started, i was the show. i was dancing like a complete 'idiot'. It was so pathetic that looking back, i just realised that i made a complete fool out of myself. That knocked my confidence a bit and i didnt step onto a dancefloor until 2 years later. Who would have ever thought that i'd become a podium dancer after that 'robotic'performance. It took me about 6 months from the start of University to learn most of the techniques to dance by going to loads of clubs and watching other people dancing. The first company that even looked at me was Prolific Modelling agency took me on. They noticed me when dancing in a modelling night down at Evolution. I was invited for an audition down the works but didnt turn up because my parents did a 'frank' to South Africa and had to look after my family back in leicester. That oppotunity went down the toilet but in the second year at University, a managed to get myself the job down Evolution, Bristol for 70's & a bit of hip hop. I had a good time though i didn't get free drinks and not even coke. I've also danced down 'Rock' at December'2000.
I remember back in June 2001 where Mayur and I went to a club called Branigans in Leicester. It had the same old crap black music. I can't stand it so i've got to drink and when I drink, i say the most stupidest things possible. I remember collecting my coat from the cloakroom and going up to the woman who was serving me and saying: 'So, do you come here often?' How funny was that. Just to make sure for your purposes, i did say that as a joke. The woman took it seriously and started to whine - it was quite funny seeing her face when i said that.
My Industrial placement year has been a extremly useful excerise. Even though the enjoyment of the year has been a complete shambles, it did have a few positives. I drank loads, spent loads of money and even fought like a tiger. Bring it on Peggy!!!
This was my first software house placement that i had. My first assignment was to create a shopping cart on the web. I didnt have a clue on where to begin and was so out of it that i believe i couldnt hit a donkeys backside with a banjo. However after an intence period of learning perl for 3 months, i could now create any program on the web using that language(which isn't easy). Rik and Dave my managers were the best managers I've ever had. Rik was like a godfather who I'd go for advice. I created the web cart however i didn't live happily ever after. Due to unforseen circumstances I left Acumen after 6 months in the job.
AdviceNet was my second placement in that year. I found them two weeks after leaving Acumen Business Systems. It was a cool experiance, better wages and the manager kept pushing me to the absolute limit so I'd hardly ever get bored.
?
?
?