The recent Edinburgh derby was played against the backdrop of something of a crisis in football in Scotland’s capital city. Remarkably, neither Hearts or Hibernian had won a league game since Remembrance Weekend back in November, something of an irony given that both sides had seemingly forgotten what it was like to win in the SPL. Supporters of both teams had, at the beginning of the season, high hopes of challenging the Old Firm in spite of the never-ending internal shenanigans at Tynecastle and the never-ending selling of best players at Easter Road. Hibernian, in particular, had made a bright start and were undefeated until October before the roof fell in, John Collins departed in somewhat mysterious circumstances and the inevitable sale of another top player, David Murphy to Birmingham City saw the Hibees in freefall. The Easter Road plummet, however, was nothing compared to the plunge down the SPL being undertaken by their city rivals. Things got so bad at Tynecastle that it appeared Vladimir Romanov had even sacked himself as manager and shifted the burden of team selection to Stephen Frail. So when the two teams met at Tynecastle in the middle of January – great scheduling by the SPL suits to move the traditional New Year Edinburgh derby to the middle of the most depressing month of the year – and neither set of players having had the luxury of a win bonus for weeks, the smart money was on a draw. The even smarter money was on a no scoring draw. But, not for the first time in such a fixture, fate intervened.
The tale of recent Edinburgh derbies has been of goalkeepers. Hibernian goalkeepers. The antics of Zibby Malkowski from two years ago still invoke nightmares among those of the green and white fraternity. His comical performance - although Hibs fans weren’t laughing - in the Scottish Cup semi-final mauling from Hearts two years ago in which he gifted the men in maroon two goals remains the stuff of legend in Gorgie. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Zibby made another gaffe in the league fixture at Tynecastle eight months later, dropping the ball at the feet of Edgaras Jankauskas who had the simplest of jobs to tap the ball into the net. The Lithuanian striker did little else of note in a maroon shirt that season and must have wished he could have faced the Polish goalkeeper every week.
Towards the end of last season, John Collins duly banished Malkowski on loan to whoever would have him but the next Hibs custodian entrusted with an Edinburgh derby – Andrew O’Neil – mis-judged a bouncing ball in his penalty area allowing Hearts Andrew Driver to score easily. After Hibernian’s 1-0 win at Tynecastle on the opening day of this season, the Easter Road faithful dared to believe their team’s goalkeeping calamities were over. But then there entered a goalkeeper called Yves Ma Kalambay who maintained the recent tradition by fumbling Andrius Velicka’s header for the only goal of the game, thus enabling Hearts to win their first game in over two months.
Edinburgh derbies are never usually pretty affairs but this most recent one was quite awful. Two desperate teams launching themselves at each other and a referee – the normally reliable Kenny Clark – who let his own standards drop to the same level as the players around him. Those who had voiced considerable concerns over the state of Hearts and Hibernian were being proved correct on the evening of Saturday 19th January 2008. Both teams should really be challenging the Old Firm for honours as they have done in recent seasons. The Edinburgh pair are the last two teams in Scotland to have lifted silverware outside Celtic and Rangers.
On the evidence of the latest capital city derby, it will be some time before they do so again.
Mike Smith, 27 January 2008
I was watching Setanta Sports coverage of a FA Premiership match the other week. It wasn’t the best match ever broadcast and after half an hour the first serious attempt on goal resulted in the effort from a multi-million pound striker soaring over the crossbar and nestling somewhere in Row ZZ. Summariser Craig Burley – for it was he – uttered the words ‘well, that was ambitious’ There are several adjectives that could have described the striker’s attempt on goal – woeful, terrible, awful – but ambitious certainly wasn’t one of them. But that seems to be the way these days – bland dominates the airwaves with commentators and summarisers not daring to offer too much criticism for fear that their station will find itself boycotted by some of football’s biggest names. For example, Sir Alex Ferguson and Sam Allardyce no longer speak to the BBC as a result of a damning documentary on football agents a few years back. But in their attempt to avoid controversy some of football’s ‘experts’ tend to open their mouths first and engage their brains later.
Former Tottenham Hotspur manager David Pleat came out with a classic comment recently during Liverpool’s ‘must-win’ Champions League game with Marseille. ‘Marseille needed to score first and that never looked likely when Liverpool took the lead’ said the man who once leapt on to the pitch at Manchester City’s Maine Road to celebrate Luton Town’s great escape from relegation wearing an ill-fitting suit.
England boasts of having the best league in the world in the form of the FA Premiership but the league is also the source of the best ‘foot and mouth’ quotes. Everton are enjoying a fine season and are tugging at the coat tails of the so-called ‘big four’ in the league. But, as defender Phil Neville put it, ‘Fourth place is what we’re aiming for – we don’t want to be second best’. In the same neck of the woods, Blackburn Rover’s Benni McCarthy left the supporters of the Lancashire club in no doubt about his intention. ‘I can see myself staying at Blackburn for the rest of my career – unless I move on…’
Now one may argue that some players have an excuse. After all they’ve got so much money to count on a weekly basis when they receive their wages that perhaps they don’t have the time to think about what they’re saying to the media. But there is no excuse for commentators and the so-called expert summarisers – pundits to you and me. Sky Sports provides an excellent service and its top presenter, the ebullient Jeff Stelling, is admirably quick to pounce on any of his colleagues who slip up. As Sky’s former Arsenal striker Alan Smith said ‘As the old saying goes, people in glasses shouldn’t throw stones’
Of course, Scotland isn’t immune to such gaffes although it has to be said there are the usual suspects north of the border. A few years ago, BBC Scotland’s excellent Sportsound team were discussing the following week’s Old Firm fixture. Presenter Richard Gordon asked Willie Miller for his prediction. ‘Only a fool would predict the outcome of an Old Firm game’ snarled the former Aberdeen defender. Without hesitation, Gordon turned to another colleague, the clown prince himself Chick Young.
‘I’m going for Rangers’ said the bold Chick, oblivious to the resultant thigh slapping and rolling around the studio floor of his colleagues.
STV recently celebrated fifty years of broadcasting and it was wonderful to see the legendary Arthur Montford back on screen again. The great Arthur was a model professional and as such not prone to the gaffes of his successors. But he was as passionate about his country as any Tartan Army foot soldier and this shone through whenever he commentated on a Scotland game. During Scotland’s crucial World Cup qualifier against Czechoslovakia in 1973, Montford was heard to shout ‘Mind your back, Denis!’ as a Czech player bore down on Scotland’s Denis Law. It was the stuff of legend – sadly, they don’t have commentators of the calibre of Arthur Montford any more which is ironic given there are more channels covering more live games than ever before.
Given some of Hearts performances recently, it’s little surprise that some of the commentators musings have been among the more entertaining elements of the season. But my favourite quote comes from former Partick Thistle manager John Lambie from a few years ago. As one of the Thistle players lay prostrate after a challenge, the Thistle phsyio shouted over ‘It’s concussion, boss – he doesn’t know who he is’ To which Lambie growled back ‘Tell him he’s Pele and get him back on!’
Perhaps Stevie Frail should try that…
Mike Smith, 18 January 2008
Along with many other Hearts supporters, I had recently been bemoaning the fact that my team had been struggling of late, had not won a game for weeks and were now embroiled in a fight against relegation, a situation a club of the stature of Heart of Midlothian FC should never find itself in. After the last match of 2007 – another defeat at Falkirk – I was agonising over just what had gone wrong with the team I love and trying to come to terms with the fact we were in third bottom place of the SPL, just ten points ahead of fast-improving Gretna. My wife knew - as she always knows when Hearts lose a game – that I had the world’s woes on my shoulder and left me to muse. Then the news came in that Motherwell’s captain Phil O’Donnell had died after collapsing during the game against Dundee United…
The death of someone aged just 35 is shocking in any event. That it should happen to a fit sportsman whose name was known to every Scottish football fan intensified the shock and feelings of disbelief felt that Saturday night. My immediate thoughts were with his young family whose devastation could only be imagined. I have a friend who is a die-hard Motherwell fan and since the draw had been made for today’s Scottish Cup Fourth Round tie, he had been ribbing me mercilessly about what his exciting team were going to do to Hearts, particularly after their recent impressive win in the SPL at Tynecastle. But he found it difficult to put into words how he felt that Saturday night. Like many other Motherwell fans, he remembered O’Donnell as an outstanding young player during his first spell at Fir Park. O’Donnell was a youthful member of the Motherwell team that famously won the Scottish Cup in 1991 after defeating Dundee United in one of the most memorable cup finals in living memory. O’Donnell wrote himself into Motherwell folklore by scoring in that game. The midfield player moved to Celtic soon after and eventually headed to Sheffield Wednesday before returning to the club where he made his name.
Usually, fans ridicule opposing players although this is often seen as a grudging mark of respect. The reaction of fans throughout Scotland on the news of Phil O’Donnell’s passing was a clear indication that here was a player widely respected. Former Scotland manager Craig Brown called him the model professional while Motherwell owner John Boyle called him an inspiration. Hearts fans on internet messageboards such as Jambos Kickback, Jambos.net and The Talk O’ the Toun were quick to offer their condolences to his grieving family. His Celtic connections may have instigated the odd abusive comment when he played against Hearts but there was no doubt that he was an integral part of the Motherwell team that, under the tutelage of Mark McGhee, had taken Scottish football by storm this season. As captain, O’Donnell was McGhee’s commander on the field of play and the manager, like everyone associated with Motherwell Football Club, was clearly devastated by the events of the last Saturday of the year.
O’Donnell’s death brought to mind another player with Motherwell connections who died at such a tragically young age more than a decade ago. Davie Cooper was 39 when he collapsed on the training field and his death in 1995 was another that shocked Scottish football. Only a few weeks earlier, Cooper had been playing at Tynecastle for Clydebank against Hearts in a Scottish Cup tie and there were the usual wags in the stand offering comments regarding his Zimmer frame and walking stick and not forgetting to collect his old-age pension from the post office the following morning. Motherwell fans will mourn the fact that, tragically, two members of that relatively recent cup winning side are now no longer with us.
Such awful events underline that for all the problems we think we have – and Hearts fans have been in despair in recent weeks as the Jambos continue in freefall – football is only a game. The family of Phil O’Donnell will never get over the passing of a thoroughly decent and hugely respected man although they may learn to cope with his loss with the passing of time. Part of this family is Motherwell forward David Clarkson who was O’Donnell’s nephew. Football managers often talk of strength of character but young Clarkson will need to show this like never before and in circumstances that have nothing to do with how he performs on the field of play.
At the time of Phil's tragic passing, Hearts had still to face Dundee United and Kilmarnock in the SPL. Not winning those games has intensified the already considerable pressure on Anatoly Korobochka, Stevie Frail and the Hearts players. But the events of two weeks ago must surely put this in perspective. Some things – as the players and officials of Motherwell FC and the family of a man who was a Motherwell legend will testify – are infinitely more important.
Mike Smith
10 January 2008
It’s that time of the year when most of us look back on the last twelve months. And having had enough of half cooked turkey I thought I would offer my predictions for 2008 which aren’t in any way affected by the several bottles of whisky consumed over the festive period…
January – Hearts entertain Kilmarnock who are looking for a new manager after Jim Jefferies is appointed Scotland boss. Caretaker manager Gary Locke sprints sixty yards, beating five Hearts players before chipping the goalkeeper to give Killie the lead. Impressed, Vladimir Romanov brings Lockie back to Tynecastle in the January window – the Bonnyrigg maestro scores five goals against Hibs on his return as Hearts win 7-0 at Tynecastle. Hearts defeat Rangers in the CIS Insurance Cup semi-final but are ordered to play the game again – against Dundee United.
February – In a break from tradition, the Fulfilment Factory half-time draw for the game against Gretna at Tynecastle is made by the travelling support. They each stand either side of Scott Wilson to make the draw. In the game against Rangers at the end of the month, Michael Stewart ladders Daniel Cousin’s tights and is given a straight red card.
March – Hearts win the CIS Insurance Cup by defeating Rangers and Dundee United in the final. Scotland boss Jim Jefferies angrily denies he doesn’t have the necessary experience for the job and selects Stevie Banks, Ibraham Tall and Jose Goncalves for the Scotland squad to face Portugal in a friendly international. JJ cites the main danger for Scotland as the boy ‘O’ – Ronald…
April – Hearts win the final Edinburgh derby of the season at Easter Road although Tommy Craig insists seven of the ten Hearts goals scored were offside. Even the one Basso scored from a clearance from his own penalty box…
Hearts finish third in the SPL.
May – Hearts win the Scottish Cup defeating Linlithgow Rose 5-4 in a thrilling final at Hampden Park, despite having Michael Stewart sent off for sighing at the referee. In a magnanimous gesture, Hearts parade the famous old trophy down Edinburgh’s Easter Road to help the locals destroy the myth that states the Scottish Cup doesn’t actually exist…
June – Having failed in his attempt to build a new golf course in Aberdeenshire, American tycoon Donald Trump tries his luck in Aberdeen city itself by declaring his intention to turn Pittodrie Stadium into a football arena. Dons manager Jimmy Calderwood is fiercely opposed to the move, especially Trump’s vowed intention to cull the thousands of seagulls that dive-bomb the ground during match day. Calderwood pleads to save the seagulls arguing they’re the only wingers worth watching at Pittodrie
July – Ronaldinho moves to Hearts as part of a deal that takes Calum Elliot to Barcelona. The Brazilian says he’s confident he can compete with Andrius Velicka for a place on the Hearts substitute bench. Controversy over at Easter Road as an un-named Hibs player decides to book a last minute holiday after glancing at the window of a travel agent on his way home. Taking a note of the number 08001800 he can’t get through on the telephone and decides to pay the shop a visit to complain. ‘That ‘number’ sir, ‘says the young assistant, ‘is our opening hours…’
August – Hearts kick off the new season with a 5-0 win over Rangers at Tynecastle. To assist with crowd control, BBC Scotland’s Chick Young is asked to vacate his seat in the press box and sit in the Rangers end. A confused Young says he didn’t know there was a difference. Alex McLeish is sacked as manager of Birmingham City after the Blues lose 17-0 at Aston Villa whose manager Martin O’Neill describes the game as ‘extraordinary’. McLeish is devastated as he said the Birmingham job was the only one he ever wanted.
September – Ronaldinho scores his first goal for Hearts as the Jambos open their UEFA Cup campaign with a 6-0 win over FC Kaunas. Vladimir Romanov doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry… An angry Roman Romanov says he’ll fight any investigation from the Monopolies Commission after Hearts win yet another Edinburgh derby 4-0. Scotland lose their opening qualifying game for the 2010 World Cup 1-0 at Macedonia thanks to a Gary Locke own goal. Gary Wales misses a penalty…
October – Jim Jefferies is sacked as Scotland manager and Alex McLeish takes over stating it was the only job he ever wanted. For the second time in a year the Tynecastle floodlights fuse during the visit of Aberdeen. But Dons manager Jimmy Calderwood stands at one of the corner flags thus ensuring the glow emanating from his opulent frame lights up the ground – and half of Gorgie…
November – An injury crisis means Hearts may unwittingly comply with the Monopolies Commission’s warning by fielding a weakened team against Hibs at Tynecastle. Rebus star Ken Stott is in goal, Talk 107’s Scott Wilson is in midfield and First Minister Alex Salmond leads the attack. Michal Pospisil is on the substitutes bench…the crisis takes its toll as Hearts win by just a single goal.
December – Hearts end 2008 ten points clear at the top of the SPL. Scott Wilson is called up for Scotland’s World Cup squad. Hibs appoint Alex McLeish as their new manager. A tearful Big Eck says it was the only job he ever wanted.
Roll on 2009!
Mike Smith, 26 December 2007
The Hearts Hall of Fame celebration held last month, like last year’s inaugural event, was a glittering occasion. Hearts stars past and present were at the Prestonfield Hotel in their best bib and tucker to celebrate some of the best players this great club has produced over the decades. It was a star-studded event as famous Hearts players from the past have their achievements recognised. And it proves one thing – the penchant for nostalgia burns as brightly as ever.
You only need to look at the Fulfilment Factory half-time draw on Tynecastle match days to see how much history and former players still means to Hearts supporters. When the legendary Dave Mackay helped make the draw some time ago I thought the old Tynecastle main stand was in danger of collapse given the huge ovation for the former Hearts and Tottenham Hotspur player. Recently, we’ve had Gilles Rousset, Rab Prentice, Alan Anderson, Jimmy Murray, Dave Clunie and Gordon Marshall take a bow during the interval and as well as the supporters getting a chance to show their appreciation, it’s clear how much it means to these Hearts stars of the past to be walking on to the Tynecastle pitch again. Even Craig Gordon – who had been away from Hearts for less than six months – was afforded a lengthy standing ovation when he returned at the interval of Hearts recent rout of Aberdeen. If the Sunderland and Scotland goalkeeper thought he might have received a cool reception from his fellow Jambos after his big money move to the English Premiership last summer, then he needn’t have worried. One of the finest players Hearts have ever produced will always be a hero in Gorgie.
Last month, Scotland’s ultimately futile attempt to qualify for Euro 2008 at the expense of world champions Italy, was hyped up to the extent that old grainy black and white footage of the last time Scotland defeated the Italians – at Hampden Park in 1965 – was dusted down and shown again in order to convince the doubters that it could be done. The scorer of that game’s only goal – Rangers John Greig – was interviewed ad nauseum about the game and he showed a fine line in humour when he said he questioned the official attendance figure of 109,000 as he must have spoken to about half a million Scots who swore blind ‘they were there’…
Of course, you may argue that such yearning for days of old is a sad reflection on the state of the game today. I’m as guilty as anyone of looking back at certain players and games through rose tinted spectacles. My own Hearts heroes were Jim Cruickshank, Rab Prentice and Drew Busby and I tend to bore some of my younger associates witless with tales of how we don’t have players of that ilk any more – although it’s convenient for me not to mention that those three players were in the Hearts squad that suffered relegation for the first time in 1977 (but I always maintain if other Hearts players back then had shown half the commitment shown by those three, then relegation would never have happened) And the aforementioned Dave Mackay and John Greig played for Scotland alongside the likes of Jim Baxter, Billy McNeil, Willie Henderson and Alan Gilzean – but none of these illustrious names ever played in a World Cup finals.
History and nostalgia go hand in hand and they are an important by product of the game we all love. It’s little more than eighteen months since Hearts won the Scottish Cup but the players who triumphed at Hampden Park that day will be remembered in decades to come by Hearts supporters who will recall that day with pride. My grandson Jack is two years old but I can see him buying me a pint in The Diggers twenty years from now and being regaled by stories of that tackle by Robbie Neilson in the 2006 Cup Final. After all, past heroics help Dads explain to their offspring why they’ve been taken to Tynecastle on a wet December afternoon – it’s a traditional family thing!
Some wags say nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. They’re right. It’s much better! And as this is the time of the year for looking back, may I offer football fans everywhere my very best wishes for Christmas and hope that 2008 is all you want it to be.
Another cup final saving tackle by Robbie Neilson wouldn’t go amiss either!
Mike Smith, 22 December 2007
There’s little doubt that every decision taken at Tynecastle these days has to be approved by Hearts majority shareholder Vladimir Romanov. So the latest pronouncement by the wealthy Russian ought to have been accompanied by dimming lights and a techno drum beat as Vlad did a fair impression of the host of ITV’s Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Chris Tarrant.
‘So where are Hearts going to play their home games next season while I tear down the old Tynecastle stand and replace it with a state-of-the-art replacement? A – Remain at a three-sided Tynecastle with a reduced capacity – and, therefore, reduced income? B – Murrayfield? C – East End Park/Almondvale? Or D – Easter Road (snigger, snigger) Hmm, it’s a tricky one. Shall I ask the audience? Well, six thousand of them?
With planning permission already submitted to the City of Edinburgh Council, Hearts are hoping to demolish the old main stand – now ninety-three years old and in a decrepit state – and start work on its replacement. But as this is expected to take two years the prospect has raised the still thorny issue of where Hearts will play their home games during construction of the new stand. And the idea of moving away from Tynecastle – even for a couple of seasons – has caused great concern among Hearts fans already restless with inconsistent performances on the field this season.
Hearts announced last week that they will consult the supporters regarding the options available. Under the previous regime, consultation was a word that didn’t mean much to former Chief Executive Chris Robinson. But now Hearts are at least trying to give the impression they want to get the views of the supporters. Well, some of them anyway. Apparently six thousand fans are to be asked to give their views. Which, given Hearts have more than thirteen thousand season ticket holders, means that the majority of fans won’t be asked. One of the options some of the fans are being asked to consider is ground sharing with city rivals Hibernian. Which came as news to those in Leith who say that Hearts haven’t even asked them about this possibility and are understandably peeved at such an assumption. Not only that but the chances of the majority of Hearts fans agreeing to swap the ritual of heading to Gorgie every other weekend for the cultural metropolis that is Leith is on a par with John and Ann Darwin winning the title of Parents of the Year. Hearts may as well have asked the fans would they consider having their eyes gouged out with a red-hot poker? But I suspect there’s a bit of gamesmanship at play here.
The furore caused by Chris Robinson’s plan to demolish Tynecastle and move to Murrayfield to pay off the club’s spiralling debt has not been forgotten. After all that’s how Vladimir Romanov got involved with Hearts in the first place. When Vlad assumed controlling interest one of his first assurances was that Hearts would remain at Tynecastle. He also declared that Hearts would replace the Old Firm as the power in Scottish football and would win the UEFA Champions League within five years. With the latter as far away as ever, and Romanov’s notorious suspicious nature a remnant from the days when he was on the run from the old Soviet Union’s KGB, I would hazard a guess that Vlad fears the fans may turn against him a la Robinson when Hearts have to move away from Gorgie for what is hoped is only a couple of years. The multiple-choice answer to the delicate question – where do you want to see Hearts play their home games until 2010? – is in reality a sham. Romanov knows there is no way Hearts supporters will agree to move to Easter Road – even if it is just for two seasons. And why should the fans choose to go to Livingston’s Almondvale or Dunfermline Athletic’s East End Park when the capacity of even a three-sided Tynecastle would hold more than either of these First Division stadia? There is really only one choice – but given the fans dislike of recent European games at Murrayfield and the emotive response to plans to move there interminably the ‘consultation’ with supporters gives Romanov the chance to say ‘well, I did ask you about going to the home of Scottish rugby’
Under Romanov’s regime the past three years have taught Hearts fans to expect the unexpected. It would be extremely cynical to think that when the supporters respond to the consultation by concluding they would rather move to Murrayfield than be rent boys to the club at the other side of Edinburgh, the bulldozers will remove not just one stand at Tynecastle. And any concerned supporter can view the detailed plans submitted to the City of Edinburgh Council.
But Vladimir Romanov has never feared controversy and more than one person at Tynecastle will tell you that what he says goes. If the Wheatfield, Gorgie and Roseburn stands also disappear and Romanov buys a canoe and a one-way ticket to Panama, then Hearts fans really will be worried…
Mike Smith, 15 December 2007
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We’re only a fortnight away from Christmas but plans are already afoot in chez Smith for this fortysomething Jambo’s version of The Great Escape. And low and behold, Hearts opponents on Boxing Day are the team most Jambos love to hate – St. Mirren.
It’s a measure of how psychologically damaging that day at Dens Park in 1986 was that Hearts opponents tomorrow still invoke feelings of disgust among many Hearts supporters. Few Jambos who endured the trauma of events on Tayside that day have forgotten how Celtic required a five goal swing on that final league Saturday of season 1985/86 - and felt their unease turn to panic at half-time when crackly radios relayed the news that Davie Hay’s men had scored four goals in the first half. Just in front of me on the slopes of Dens Park behind the goal, there was nearly a punch up between two Hearts fans who were clearly angered to hear the news no one wanted to hear. Celtic, as we all know, scored another goal in the second half which in the end they didn’t need as one Albert Kidd esquire entered the field as a late Dundee substitute to score his first and second goals of the season to not only end the Hearts dream but to invoke a nightmare which is still painful to recall more than twenty years on.
I have to say, however, that I’ve never subscribed to the theory that St. Mirren laid down to Celtic that day. Even if they did, the destiny of the title was still in Hearts own hands. The Saints could have played Paisley Panda in goal, Chick Young up front and Celtic could have strolled to a 20-0 win – none of that would have mattered if Hearts secured the single point required from Dens Park to bring the league championship to Gorgie for the first time in twenty-six years. I was too distraught on the day to even consider St. Mirren’s role in such a doomsday ending to the season and even now it’s irrelevant. In my view, the Paisley Saints had contributed to Hearts ultimate failure to win the title at the beginning of the season. Two games in and Hearts trip to Love Street was nothing short of horrendous as St. Mirren cruised to a 6-2 victory. This came just a week after Hearts secured a highly creditable 1-1 draw with Celtic at Tynecastle. Paul McStay scored a last minute equaliser that day and that combined with the Love Street debacle seven days later were as much a cause of Hearts not winning the title they deserved as anything else that season.
My disdain for St. Mirren came eleven months on from the events at Dens Park in a Scottish Cup semi-final at Hampden Park. 1986/87 was the season of Rangers shock defeat in the third round to Hamilton Academicals at Ibrox Stadium and a sublime John Robertson free-kick at Tynecastle was enough to eliminate Celtic from the cup a month later. With the Old Firm gone the way was clear for Hearts to make up for the huge disappointment of May 1986 by going on to lift the trophy. But they didn’t take into account St. Mirren, their opponents in the semi-final.
I was living in Aberdeen at the time and travelled down to Glasgow with the Granite City Hearts Supporters Club. On the journey south, their ebullient secretary, a great fella by the name of Charlie Brown, was taking names of those who were going to the final. When I suggested to the bold Charlie that he might wish to do this after the game I was ducking under my seat to avoid the scorn and ridicule being hurled towards me. But this is Hearts, I protested. Nothing is certain when it comes to this team of ours. As former Celtic striker Frank McGarvey proved when he scored St. Mirren’s second goal and what proved to be the winner in a truly awful game at the National Stadium. It was a long and silent trip back to the north-east for the Aberdeen Jambos. St. Mirren went on to win the Scottish Cup by defeating the strongly fancied Dundee United in the final, thanks to an extra-time winner from Ian Ferguson. It was the final twist of the knife for Hearts, as they would have qualified for the following season’s UEFA Cup had United won. Another year without silverware and no European football to look forward to. For the second year running the season ended in despair for Hearts supporters.
So Hearts fans dislike of St. Mirren is understandable. And given Hearts unpredictable form it would be far from earth-shattering if Gus McPherson’s side inflict more misery on Hearts on the day the first of what will seem like several hundred turkey sandwiches will be consumed. On the other hand, the like of Larry Kingston may provide the spark to re-ignite Hearts season which is now threatening to fizzle out. Either way, those Hearts fans heading to Tynecastle the day after Christmas who are veterans of 1986 will not relinquish their grudge easily…
Mike Smith, 11 December 2007
To the many critics of the CIS Insurance Cup – the competition formerly known as the League Cup – the chaotic nature of the draw for the semi-finals came as a Godsend. Hearts, after their magnificent triumph over Celtic in Glasgow in the last round, were paired with Dundee United. Except it wasn’t really Dundee United it was Rangers. The idea of having the draw made live on national television was good news for the sponsors – although afterwards they must have been wondering if it was worth it. The critics – and I’m one of those who have questioned the need for a competition for which there is no place in European competition for the winners – sniped that it was a Mickey Mouse draw for a Mickey Mouse Cup. And to a lot of people it ‘Disney’ really matter. But I feel the powers that be can restore dignity to the proceedings by making next season’s competition something really worth winning – by re-introducing the possibility of earning a place in the UEFA Cup as a result.
Years ago, the League Cup was a much yearned for trophy, particularly by clubs outwith the Old Firm who saw it as a chance to win some silverware and cover themselves in glory. In years gone by, Partick Thistle – who famously shocked Celtic 4-1 in the 1971 final – Dundee, Aberdeen, Raith Rovers and some Edinburgh team whose name escapes me have all won the trophy and in most cases were additionally rewarded with a place in the UEFA Cup the following season. As Raith Rovers fans contemplate their side’s struggle to get out of this season’s Second Division, those who witnessed their team’s trip to the Olympic Stadium in Munich less then a decade and a half ago – and who took photographs of the scoreboard which at half-time read Bayern 0 Raith Rovers 1 – remember those days with tear-inducing affection. Memories of such an occasion will never die for followers of the Fife club. But since then the slipping of standards in Scottish football means that winning the League Cup in any guise the competition is in no longer carries with it the significant carrot of European football. And the rise and rise of the UEFA Champions League means even the UEFA Cup is the poor relations of European football these days. The SPL and the SFL both agree that entry to the UEFA Cup should now be based on either placing in the SPL or winning the Scottish Cup (not even the runners-up in the Scottish Cup can expect a place in Europe next season) But surely there must be some incentive for winning the CIS Insurance Cup? There is little at the moment that I can see and this is reflected in the size of the attendances at the recent quarter-finals (Celtic Park for example was two thirds empty for Hearts 2-0 triumph)
Last season Celtic and Rangers both qualified for the UEFA Champions League meaning Aberdeen who finished third in the SPL went into the UEFA Cup along with Scottish Cup finalists Dunfermline Athletic. New rules mean that if there were a similar finish to the SPL this season then the fourth placed team would enter the UEFA Cup at the expense of the Scottish Cup runners up. Fair enough you could argue, as it’s what you do over the course of a league season that reflects the true quality of your team. May I humbly make a suggestion to the men who run Scottish football? Why don’t the fourth placed team in the SPL play the winners of the CIS Insurance Cup in a play-off for the final UEFA Cup place? It could either be a one-off game played at a neutral venue or a two-legged affair played home or away. This would give clubs real motivation for winning the CIS Insurance Cup and would generate additional interest among the fans who appear to have fallen out of love with a competition which has now reached pensionable age (having began in 1947) Of course, a club in the top four may well have won the trophy anyway in which case Scottish football could resort to its original Plan A. But, at the time of writing, only two of this season’s semi-finalists are currently in the top four of the SPL. For Hearts, Aberdeen and Dundee United – and the latter two won this cup regularly during the 1980s - winning the competition would be a huge financial as well as a moral incentive for them.
And add a little bit of spice at the end of the season.
Mike Smith, 1 December 2007
There have been times in the last year in particular when I began to question something that has been part of my life for nearly forty years. In fact for much of that time it has been my life. Follow the Hearts and You Can’t Go Wrong says one of Scottish football’s most famous anthems. A contradiction if ever there was one. Since I began supporting Edinburgh’s oldest club in the late 1960s almost everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong. Relegation – three times – in the late 1970s/early 1980s. Near bankruptcy – twice (and on both these occasions in 1981 and 2004 Hearts were dragged back from the abyss by larger than life figures who courted controversy) Going undefeated for eight months only to lose the league championship eight minutes before the end of the season (Albert Kidd broke my heart that day) An embarrassing attempt at taking over Hibernian FC. A misguided attempt at easing the club’s crippling financial woes by securing a deal with SMG – which then turned sour. Selling the club – and some say its soul – to a Russian multi-millionaire who then sacked a club legend as manager before sacking his successor six months later with Hearts top of the SPL. The replacement of George Burley with a man whose name is on the Register of Sex Offenders; the dismissal of a Chief Executive who oversaw a huge increase in season ticket sales and had the sold out signs at Tynecastle on a regular basis; the sale of the club’s three best players, two of them to Hearts main competitors; the appointment of a Russian Head Coach who doesn’t speak English (but certainly knows exactly what Vladimir Romanov wants)
Hearts performances have, too many times over the past year, looked dispirited and disjointed. The team has looked a million miles away from achieving owner Vladimir Romanov’s declaration of winning the UEFA Champions League by 2010. Too often Hearts have been ridiculed and the good name of the club discredited. After a 5-0 drubbing at the hands of Celtic earlier this season, I found myself grappling with an alien emotion. Hearts have often driven me to despair, made me angry, made me swear never to go back – although I always did – as well as given me fantastic feelings of joy, and some of the best days of my life. Two Scottish Cup final wins and magnificent European triumphs in Bordeaux and Basle were occasions I will never forget. But with this season in its infancy I found myself akin to a man whose marriage is over and his feelings for the one time love of his life evapourated. Given some of Hearts early performances this season I knew we would lose the league game at Celtic Park. And, for the first time in forty years, I found myself not caring. It wouldn’t be the last. A humbling 3-1 defeat by Dundee United at Tynecastle induced similar feelings. I had been emotionally battered into submission. Vladimir Romanov could have walked away a few weeks ago and forced Hearts to close and I would probably not have bothered a jot. I had reached the point where I simply didn’t care any more. But when I attended the Remembrance Sunday service at Edinburgh’s Haymarket on Armistice Day, I was reconciled with the reason why I support Heart of Midlothian in the first place.
Several hundred Hearts supporters had gathered to remember those Hearts players who gave the ultimate sacrifice in the First World War. They did so with considerable pride, pride at those players for their club whose bravery shall never be forgotten. Heart of Midlothian are a Scottish institution, not only in a football sense. The glorious decade that was the 1950s apart, Hearts have never won trophies on a regular basis, which, conversely, is one of the reasons why we follow the Hearts. When triumph does happen it’s a memorable event in any Hearts fan’s life – I placed seeing the team lift the Scottish Cup in 1998 to end thirty-six years of hurt on a par with seeing the birth of my two daughters. Hearts are not only part of Scottish football, they are a way of life for thousands of people in Edinburgh and around the world.
Our hearts swelled with pride on Remembrance Sunday. When the magnificent Hearts of Glory song was played at half-time of the Hearts-Aberdeen game that afternoon at Tynecastle, I felt a lump in my throat. I found that I still cared about my club. Passionately. The travelling Aberdeen support unveiled a banner that read Lithuanian State Circus. Those sentiments are typical of the ridicule that attaches itself to Hearts these days – and the current owner does, it has to be said, bring much of this on himself by his actions. But you can’t change history. And Hearts are part of Scottish history – and not just on the playing field but also on the fields of war where the actions of those who died means more than all the games won, drawn and lost by this great club.
And I, like every other Hearts supporter, shall never forget that.
Mike Smith, 14 November 2007
The media has been in frenzy once more these few days. Who would have thought it possible there would be a club owned by a rich Russian businessman, with a successful young manager but who would appoint a Director of Football who, if the newspapers were to be believed, no one else at the club wanted? And force the manager to play players he didn't want in the team? And now the manager has gone half the team look likely to leave? You couldn't make it up - unless you're a Hearts supporter...
The second biggest story of the season thus far – nothing could eclipse Scotland’s truly fabulous defeat of the second best team in the world in the Parc de Princes in Paris – struck more than a chord with Hearts supporters. Nearly two years after George Burley left Hearts in controversial circumstances, supporters of Chelsea are coming to terms with a bombshell that threatens to overwhelm a club that seemingly could do no wrong under Jose Mourinho but were now left to deal with the aftermath of the departure of the self-acclaimed ‘Special One’. The former FC Porto manager and one time assistant to Bobby Robson at Barcelona was the darling of the media, a Godsend to hacks who devoured his every word. And when he left Chelsea last week ago many of the fourth estate appeared to be baying for blood – Roman Abramovich’s blood. The Russian billionaire’s roubles had helped transform Chelsea from an average team who hadn’t won the league championship for fifty years to a team full of internationalists who would win the league title twice in succession and come tantalisingly close to the ultimate prize of the UEFA Champions League. Abramovich was a hero to thousands of Chelsea supporters but his decision to part with the manager who was in the process of turning the dream into reality turned him into an anti-hero in the eyes of some. In an uncanny echo of the events in Gorgie two years ago, talk of confidentiality clauses means that perhaps the real story behind Mourinho’s departure will never be told. It won’t stop the rumour and speculation of course- but Chelsea fans will be well advised to treat much of the media conjecture with a large pinch of Siberian salt…
Vladimir Romanov invested heavily to save Hearts from oblivion but when George Burley left the club the relationship between the Russian and the Scottish media plumbed depths not even reached by the Russian submarine that Romanov used to serve in. And, in my view, this mistrust has manifested itself to blur the opinions of many who write and commentate about the game and about Hearts when the fancy takes them. After Hearts lost 5-0 at Celtic Park a few weeks ago, Scottish football’s King of Comedy writing, Chick Young, wrote on his BBC website column that Hearts were heading into the abyss and that Vladimir Romanov had ripped the soul out of the football club. Hearts, opined the man who Walter Smith once famously slaughtered during an interview the BBC could never broadcast due to the diatribe emanating from the Rangers manager, were already top-six wallflowers. Of course, when Hearts demolished Chick’s beloved Rangers the wee man inevitably went quiet on Hearts fortunes. But his BBC colleagues are little better. After Hearts memorable 4-2 victory over the Gers at Tynecastle, Billy Dodds wrote that his former employers struggled to deal with Hearts' vibrant, physical play. Physical? The most physical challenge of that afternoon bordered on the brutal – Rangers keeper Alan McGregor’s assault on young Calum Elliot. But don’t let the facts get in the way of another metaphorical kick at Hearts. And the commentator during the Aberdeen-Dniper game - I forget his name but Archie MacPherson he wasn’t – just had to have a go at Hearts when a Ukrainian player dived trying to gain advantage. ‘It wasn’t quite in the Mikoliunas league but it was a dive nonetheless’
I suspect that Chelsea will, like Hearts, now find themselves fair game for the media who will believe Abramovich's actions – like Romanov’s – leave the club there to be shot at. I heard the SFA’s Chief Executive Gordon Smith – a former Rangers player naturally – say in the aftermath of Scotland’s victory over Lithuania that Mikoliunas’ behaviour just wasn’t acceptable in this country. Neither it seems is Russian millionaires making difficult decisions…
The media frenzy in the build-up to this season was not unexpected. Season 2007-08 will see more games than ever before on television thanks to Setanta Sports and BT Vision tugging at the blanket coverage that was previously SKY TV’s. For supporters, this will mean even more inconvenient kick-off times (even Sunday evenings, previously sacrosanct as far as live football coverage was concerned has now been swallowed up) trips to far flung corners of the country on dark miserable Monday nights and the gradual sad acceptance that the most important league games – the Edinburgh derby, the Old Firm games etc. – will never be played with a 3.00pm Saturday afternoon kick-off again. But there’s a trait that appears to have surfaced even earlier this season – the immediate demand for success.
The ‘Troubled Hearts’ headlines were being put in place just hours after Hibernian’s rare win at Tynecastle last month. When the Jambos headed for Pittodrie six days later to face an Aberdeen team who also lost their opening fixture of the season, that doyen of football knowledge Scott Booth said this game was ‘crucial’ for both teams aspirations of challenging the Old Firm this season. Crucial – two games into the season. The manager of Inverness Caledonian Thistle – the much-respected Charlie Christie – felt unable to handle the pressure after his side lost their opening three fixtures and resigned. Down south Carlisle United drew 1-1 at Walsall on the opening day of the English season. Not good enough for the directors of the Cumbrian outfit who duly dismissed manager Neil MacDonald. In the FA Premiership, Tottenham Hotspur – widely tipped to make a real challenge to the ‘top four’ - lost their two opening league fixtures and the vultures were already circling manager Martin Jol. The Dutchman had invested heavily in new players in an effort to ‘take Spurs to the next level’ and the fans – and no doubt the chairman – expected immediate dividends. I write this article the day after Spurs threw away a two-goal lead at Fulham so Jol may well be away by the time you read this. Even Sir Alex Ferguson – a manager who has seen it all in over thirty years of club management – must have been irked in the extreme by those describing his players as a team in crisis after Manchester United could only take two points from their opening three fixtures whilst losing Wayne Rooney to injury and Ronaldo to a fit of petulance after he was ordered off at Portsmouth. I heard a commentator on BBC Radio Five Live say it was United’s worse start to a season since 1998. And this was in the middle of August. Calamity indeed…
There’s been no doubting the sombre mood among Hearts supporters as summer turns into autumn. Defeat by Hibernian is always difficult to take and a fortnight later the maroons’ inability to defeat a side that were playing in the English Unibond League a few years ago was unexpected. And I’m sure supporters of both teams at Tynecastle today wouldn’t want me to dwell too much on Hearts recent visit to the east end of Glasgow. Add to this the departure of keeper Craig Gordon and it isn’t difficult to understand the supporters’ dismay. Perhaps it’s the level of expectation that is always evident at a club like Hearts. This was undoubtedly fuelled by Vladimir Romanov’s declaration when taking a controlling interest at Tynecastle that he wanted to see Hearts break the Old Firm and win the UEFA Champions League within five years. Nothing wrong with a bit of bravado – we all want to see Hearts lift the Champions League trophy – but Hearts spectacular start to season 2005-06 turned the fire fuelled by Romanov into an incontrollable inferno and the fires of passion created by Hearts 2006 Scottish Cup triumph have been doused by some much-needed realism in the sixteen months that have followed.
The demand for not only success but instant success these days puts unnecessary pressure on managers, coaches, players and even the fans. Those of us who were around during the truly dark days in Gorgie – the late 1970s and early 1980s – when Hearts hovered perilously over the trapdoor and went close to going out of existence altogether have been through it all before. In the wake of the Celtic Park defeat, I wrote a piece saying following Hearts just wasn’t worth the hassle. Not for the first time in forty years, I didn’t feel like going back to watch the maroons. But, inevitably, I’m at Tynecastle today. Of course, the paying customers have the right to have their say although I wonder what some of today’s Hearts supporters would have made of watching Hearts lose 1-0 in the First Division to East Stirlingshire in 1981 – at Tynecastle (a real Halloween horror show that was)
The vast sums of television money now being pumped into the game today appear to have created this ‘must win at all costs’ mentality. Every game now is ‘crucial, massive, three points are a must’. Fans of all clubs want to see their team challenge at the top of the table. But not everyone can. It’s been a poor start to the season for Hearts. It’s up to the players and the coaching staff to turn things around.
I only hope we aren’t drawn against East Stirlingshire in the Scottish Cup come January….
Mike Smith, 15 September 2007
I wrote a piece in the Hearts match day programme for the opening league fixture of the season in which I opined that, given the woeful events of last season, this campaign was bound to see Hearts come good. Expectation levels had fallen, there was no European campaign to distract us and the divisions so apparent in the squad last term appeared to have been resolved. As I write this piece, four games into the season, the suspicion that I know as much about football as John Collins knows about goalkeepers lingers like a bad smell. As does the atmosphere around Tynecastle these days…
It’s been an alarming start to the season for Hearts. Not just the poor results – we’ve endured worst starts over the years – but the performances have been, at times, quite shocking. The level of play against Hibernian in the opening game was poor and although there was a slight improvement against Aberdeen, the displays against Gretna and Celtic were quite frankly abysmal. Even at this early stage, season 2007-08 looks like being a long one for those in maroon – I’m writing this before the CIS Insurance cup-tie at Stirling Albion, a game which, in banana skin terms, looms as large as any in recent times. Now Hearts supporters of my era, those who can recall the dark days of the late 1970s when relegation became a bi-annual event, home defeats from Forfar Athletic and East Stirlingshire sunk the club to new depths and bankruptcy threatened to accompany the Grim Reaper rubbing hands gleefully at the prospect of a great Scottish club going to the wall, tend to hark back to times when things were considerably worse than they are now. But a quarter of a century ago we clung on to the wreckage when the good ship Heart of Midlothian hit the rocks in stormy waters – though we went close to going under we all felt a rescue ship would be at hand to save our collective souls. Alarmingly, the feeling I get now is that the unsinkable liner promised by our Russian owner is not only letting in water at a disturbing rate - but that fewer and fewer people are interested in salvation.
No one seems to know what the hell is going on at Tynecastle these days. We have a group of players for whom it means little to play for such a famous club. Sub-standard Lithuanians who are here on loan from FC Kaunas appear to care little about how things go. There is a bizarre coaching set-up where Anatoly Korobochka appears to have the final say on team selection and tactics – final, that is, after owner Vladimir Romanov has had his say thousands of miles away in Lithuania. Two years ago Hearts, under George Burley, made a brilliant start to the season, playing breathtaking football and scoring goals aplenty. This took the limelight away from Romanov who clearly wanted Burley to dance to his tune. It’s almost two years since Burley left Tynecastle in acrimonious circumstances and it’s fair to say it’s been one crisis after another in Gorgie ever since. Andy Webster, Rudi Skacel, Steven Pressley, Paul Hartley, Takis Fyysas, Julien Brellier and Craig Gordon – the spine of the team that set Scottish football alight two years ago – have gone. The perplexing appointments of numerous Head Coaches – Graham Rix, Valdas Ivanauskas, Eduard Malofeev, Anatoly Korobochka - have been among several baffling decisions taken by Romanov. Yes, the Scottish Cup was won in 2006 – but only after a fortunate quarter-final win over Partick Thistle, a semi-final win over a Hibs team decimated by injuries and a penalty shoot-out victory in the final over Gretna, a team playing non-league football in England at the beginning of this decade.
The man who coached Hearts to that Scottish Cup win – the oft-maligned Valdas Ivanauskas – has long gone, dispatched by the Russian to Lithuania. Hearts now have a set-up that Romanov is understandably content with (he now gets to pick the team every week without dissention in the ranks) but everyone else struggles to comprehend – or accept. One has to feel a great deal of sympathy for Assistant Coach Stevie Frail. The former full-back, who once lit up Tynecastle with a brilliant goal against Aberdeen many years ago, is now the public face of the Hearts coaching set-up – but with as much influence on team selection and tactics as I have from the Wheatfield Stand. Yet, ‘Shaggy’ is the one who has to face the baiting press - whom Romanov despises so much – to try and explain why Hearts played with just one player up front at home to Gretna and why the team capitulated so meekly and so early against Celtic.
Yet, the most worrying thing in all of this is that an ever-growing number of Hearts supporters just don’t care any more. We’ve had decades of disappointment, near misses, hope and the occasional snatches of glory – but nothing compared to the shambles that is now our club. Hearts are now a laughing stock. The club debt continues to spiral, the level of player now pulling on the famous maroon shirt sinks each passing month. Tactics are baffling and team selection appears to be akin to methodology used by Camelot when running the national lottery on a Saturday evening. In the 1970s, Hearts fans used to protest against Bobby Parker and the board of directors. In the 1990s it was Wallace Mercer and pre-Romanov, Chris Robinson would come under vitriolic attack as the club plunged into deepening financial crisis. Hearts fans can still protest but the difference today is there is just one man who has the power. A man who hasn’t been seen at Tynecastle for some time. A man who has promised a new main stand at Tynecastle but the ever growing cynicism of many Hearts fans see them take the view of ‘we’ll believe it when we see it’. After all this is the man who pledged that Hearts would smash the Old Firm and win the UEFA Champions League within five years of his stewardship.
I never thought I would say this but I’m getting tired of following Hearts. Tired of the ridicule created by a dictator-like owner who appears to be using a Scottish football institution to make in-roads to the western European banking fraternity for his bank, Ukio Bankas. Shockingly bad displays, inexplicable tactics, poor results – this will not be sustained by the good people who follow Heart of Midlothian for much longer. The proposed 12,000-seated new main stand may or may not come to fruition. The question many people are asking is if it does will there be enough fans left to fill it?
Because following the Hearts in the Romanov era is just no longer worth the hassle…
Mike Smith, 26 August 2007
Gretna’s rise from the relative obscurity of English non-league football to the top table of Scottish football is well documented but remains a fascinating tale that takes its place in modern football folklore. This afternoon sees the borders cub visit Tynecastle Stadium for the first time – yet the Black and Whites have already met Hearts in a Scottish Cup final, a fact which itself is incredulous, given where they were at the beginning of the decade. The football on show during Hearts 2006 Hampden triumph was perhaps not the most breathtaking ever seen but the occasion was a memorable one with Gretna’s ebullient owner Brooks Mileson seemingly forging a friendship with Hearts supremo Vladimir Romanov. Gretna’s achievement gave hope to the fans of those clubs who normally only dream of success, of getting to cup finals, of playing in Europe and of reaching the SPL. For this, Mr. Mileson and his colleagues should be warmly applauded – for it’s in stark contrast to the way football seems to be heading in the land from where Gretna broke free…
When Billy Davies’ Derby County won their promotion play-off final against West Bromwich Albion at Wembley back in May, I read somewhat disbelievingly that the victory could mean as much as £60 million for the Rams. With television money in the FA Premiership now increasing to Monopoly levels as a result of Setanta Sports joining SKY Television in broadcasting England’s ‘elite’ and sponsors seemingly falling over themselves to grab a piece of the not inconsiderable limelight, the warnings of those who spoke out against the formation of the Premiership a decade and a half ago appear to be coming alarmingly true. Not only that but the financial Holy Grail that is the UEFA Champions League appears to have created a league within a league in the top tier. The self-proclaimed ‘big four’ in English football – Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool – appear to be getting stronger and stronger with the rest of England’s top clubs struggling to hang on to their coat tails. In the summer months it seemed scarcely a day went by without some mysterious billionaire or consortium being linked with a multi-million pound take-over of some club. Newcastle United and Manchester City were just two of the clubs where deals went through with City’s new owners immediately installing former England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson as manager in the hope that the Swede’s experience allied to millions of pounds of ‘investment’ would mean City would not be left trailing in the wake of their city rivals. But the Glazers take-over of Manchester United and Roman Abramovich’s ownership of Chelsea had already raised the stakes to the extent that Liverpool had gone down the same route by enlisting the services of American magnate George Gillette and Arsenal were already hinting at a similar scenario in London. Like wasps to a jam-jar, the financial lure of the FA Premiership appears to have attracted tycoons from around the world. And it seems to have created a league where competition for success is restricted to perhaps a handful of clubs. Who do you think will finish in the top four of the FA Premiership at the end of the season? And if there are scenes of jubilation at Derby County on the final day of the season, I suspect it will be because Billy Davies’ side will have avoided relegation rather than them actually coming close to winning something.
Money seems to have elevated – although I use the term loosely – football in the higher echelons of English football to a different plane and taken the game away from those who made it what it is today – the people, the men and women in the street, local communities who associate the success of their town with their team, people who find the daily grind of life that much more bearable if the team they have supported since childhood is doing well. These are people who dream of their team achieving success, a cup final, a place in Europe, an opportunity to take on the big boys - and win. Now some people may say that Brooks Mileson’s financial clout has helped take today’s visitors to Tynecastle unfairly through the Scottish leagues to take their place in the Scottish Premier League. But we’re hardly talking tens of millions of pounds here. And Gretna’s status in the game today is because they’ve worked their way through the divisions and appreciate what it’s like playing at places like Arbroath, East Stirling and Alloa.
For years, English commentators ridiculed Scottish football because Celtic and Rangers faced little competition. But there was always the chance that clubs like Hearts, Aberdeen and Dundee United would mount the occasional challenge for honours and that’s what kept their fans dreams alive. It’s only a year since Hearts were in the Champions League and were Scottish Cup holders. Gretna’s place among Scottish football’s elite is welcome. For unlike down south, in Scotland David can still hold his own against Goliath…
Mike Smith, 17 August 2007
Recent history infers that Hearts don’t have two good seasons on the trot. On this premise then, season 2007-08 should be an absolute corker. For to say the campaign for 2006-07 was woeful is akin to saying John Collins has a look in the mirror now and again. But it was inevitable really. Having watched our team lift the Scottish Cup, split the Old Firm and therefore reach the qualifying stages of the Champions League for the first time in 2006, those more mature Hearts supporters were already covering their eyes when season 2006-07 began. For we’ve seen it all before.
Remember the season following Hearts Scottish Cup triumph in 1998? In the summer of that year it seemed things couldn’t get any better for aficionados of all things maroon. The first piece of major silverware to grace the Tynecastle trophy room in over three decades was the source of great pride to us all. And the fact that Hibernian had been relegated to the First Division weeks earlier and were preparing for games against Stranraer was a source of great humour. Good Lord, Scotland even threatened to beat the world champions in the opening game of the 1998 World Cup when the aforementioned Mr. Collins stroked home a penalty to equalise against Brazil before Ronaldo and Co. got a late winner. For Hearts fans, feelings of joy had never been higher. But then Lady Luck, as she does far too often, turned her back on the boys in maroon.
On the opening weekend of season 1998-99 Hearts defeated Rangers at Tynecastle and we sat back and waited for the club’s first genuine championship challenge for more than a decade. Then Colin Cameron suffered a serious injury and was out for weeks, Neil McCann and David Weir moved to Rangers and Everton respectively, confidence nose-dived and Hearts suddenly couldn’t score a goal far less win a game. For three long months Hearts failed to record a win bonus and, far from challenging for the league title as we all hoped they would, Jim Jefferies team plunged to the foot of the league and stared relegation in the face. Thankfully, Cameron returned to the team as spring beckoned and his presence, added to the fact that Gary McSwegan suddenly rediscovered how to score goals, propelled Hearts back up the league to safety. In fact in the final game of the season, Hearts scored five goals at Pittodrie, something I had never witnessed before. Going back to the mid 1970s, Hearts reached the Scottish Cup Final in 1976 only to lose to Rangers; in the season that followed Hearts slumped and were relegated for the first time in their history. So really it should have come as no surprise that Hearts followed their Scottish Cup triumph of 2006 with a season that was at best mediocre and at worst quite shocking (the 4-0 hammering from Dundee United at Tynecastle was the worst Hearts display I can recall since a soon to be relegated Falkirk thrashed us 6-0 at Brockville a few years ago)
Perhaps it’s the rise in expectation levels that fuels a hitherto undetected nervousness among the players. Or the fact that players who have proven to be winners are suddenly attractive to other clubs (McCann going to Rangers in December 1998 was a major factor in Hearts dicing with relegation while the loss of Steven Pressley and Paul Hartley to Celtic hardly did the 2007 team any favours) But it just isn’t Hearts to have two successful seasons in a row. And having got the bad taste of season 2006-07 out of their collective mouths, the Hearts players must surely believe that standards can’t slip any lower in the campaign ahead. Now this goes against my natural pessimistic tendency but I have an inkling that Hearts will be up challenging the Old Firm again in the new season. The return of Deividas Cesnauskis, Bruno Aguiar and Mirsad Beslija from long-term injury, the permanent signing of Larry Kingston and the addition of Michael Stewart means a reinvigorated midfield. Defensively, the partnership between Marius Zaliukas and Christophe Berra seemed to be developing well towards the end of last season. Christophe was thrown in at the deep end following the acrimonious departures of Steven Pressley and Andy Webster but the youngster has shown an impressive maturity. If Craig Gordon leaves as is widely expected then Hearts have an able replacement in the experienced Stevie Banks. What does concern me is the full back positions and the alarming lack of firepower up front.
I’ve not been impressed with Christos Karapidis – the Greek defender has looked woefully out of sorts at times as has Kestutis Ivaskevicius (and with a name like that it’s even difficult to hurl abuse at the Lithuanian!) Vladimir Romanov has spoken about Hearts using more Scottish players so I would like to see Robbie Neilson and Lee Wallace occupy the full back berths. We all know what they can do – Robbie had broken into the Scotland team before his unfortunate injury last season – and the pair are as good as any defender on the books. At the other end of the field, Hearts lack of goals was a huge disappointment given the team were scoring goals aplenty the season before. I’m not sure about Roman Bednar – for a start he needs to find full fitness and avoid injury. Hearts desperately need a couple of new players up front but whether prospective signing Ricardas Beniusis is the answer remains to be seen (am I the only one getting rather tired of seeing on-loan players from FC Kaunas? I wonder sometimes whether they have the passion required to play for our great club) Mauricio Pinilla still has much to prove and at the time of writing was diagnosed with a wrist injury which will keep him out for the opening weeks of the season.
At least some of last season’s abject displays will have lowered expectation levels considerably. Far from splitting the Old Firm and making progress in the Champions League, Hearts didn’t even make it into the UEFA Cup. Too many changes happened too quickly last season. We need a settled team from the off this time – a team playing with skill, passion and commitment. That’s the least we expect from those wearing the famous maroon shirt. Here’s hoping we see it this season.
Mike Smith, 29 July 2007
As another long season draws to a close, thoughts turn to next season and what the new campaign may hold. Naturally, Hearts fans are hoping for better next time round with a real challenge to the Old Firm being the target, something that only Hearts have done in recent years (although not, sadly, this term) But in the humble opinion of this Hearts supporter, there’s something else that not only Hearts but every football club in the land can aim for next season. Dare I say it, given who our opponents are on Saturday, but all football clubs may start to think about becoming – whisper it – greener…
Hang on, don’t give up on me yet! During the build up to last week’s Scottish parliamentary elections, one of the many oft-used phrases was ‘carbon footprint’, the new indicator in the fight to protect the environment. Given this is literally a hot issue, I’m surprised that football hasn’t been more involved in trying to tackle some of these issues. For instance, how many of you sit at Tynecastle whilst munching a pie or a hotdog or supping from a carton of juice or hot drink? Where will you put the tin foil/paper wrapping or polystyrene cup when you’ve done? Sure, there are rubbish bins located around the ground – but might it be an idea if Hearts and the rest of the football fraternity placed special bins around grounds so that the waste can be recycled?
There are other ways that clubs can be more pro-active in helping the environment. The matchday programme is printed on glossy paper. Would it bother you if the same content were produced on recycled paper? True, it wouldn’t have the same glossy feel to it but, as Mrs Smith tells me often enough, looks aren’t everything…
With Hearts about to bring out a spanking new home strip for next season, what will become of the strips used by so many Hearts fans in the past couple of years? Perhaps the Hearts Superstores, now situated throughout Edinburgh and the Lothians could arrange a recycling point where fans could return their old shirts etc. that may enable them to a discount off the new Umbro strip. Even things that one takes for granted like stadium lighting – we’re all being encouraged to use long-life energy saving light bulbs these days. I wonder how many clubs actually do this?
Now I realise there may be cost implications for clubs to take on some of these suggestions, particularly those lower league clubs for who every penny counts. But, in my view, the potential for clubs to ‘do their bit’ for the environment seems endless. This already happens in Germany so there’s no reason while it couldn’t happen in this country. As Edinburgh prepares to reintroduce a tram system for the first time in over half a century – a fine example of the city fathers taking action at reducing carbon emissions from the capital’s increasingly grid locked road system – Hearts could take a lead with a relatively simple innovation. Matchday tickets could include the price of free public transport to get fans to Tynecastle. Gorgie and its surrounding area is like a giant car park on matchdays and with the majority of Hearts homes games being close to sell-outs the past two seasons, taking a car usually means a fair trek to your motor after the game in any case. A deal with the city bus – and tram - companies would surely encourage more fans to use public transport and alleviate a chronic congestion situation on matchdays.
There are probably more ways football could help and people with far more knowledge than the likes of me can certainly come up with more suggestions. But football could show the way. The much-maligned UEFA could also be bold and award ‘eco’ points to clubs throughout Europe with perhaps places in the UEFA Cup being awarded to those clubs with the most points i.e. those who have done the most to help protect the environment we live in.
Now I’m sure to take a bit of stick from some of my colleagues who chose to follow the team from the other side of Edinburgh. Who would think that this Hearts supporter who dared to demean Hibs lifting whatever trophy it was they lifted earlier this season and who received criticism accordingly would even consider the credentials of becoming green?
But if you’re one of those fans who throws away the matchday programme after a couple of days, no doubt you’ll be putting it in the specially marked bin provided by your council for recycled papers. It’s time football not only caught up with the rest of the country – but, as they say, took the lead…
Mike Smith, 6 May 2007
It’s the time of the year. Flowers blooming, bees buzzing, days getting longer….and football fans sobbing their hearts out in front of the television cameras. As another long campaign draws to a conclusion, the directors of sport at Britain’s growing number of satellite television broadcasters are rubbing their hands in anticipation of capturing the moment teams clinch the league championship or, as increasingly seems to be the case, teams suffer relegation. Or, perhaps more importantly in terms of increasing the height of drama, the reaction of the supporters who have followed their team throughout the season and now face the moment of truth. The agony etched on the faces of some fans is recorded for posterity and adds to the already dramatic nature of events. This is a relatively recent development to the game we all love. Call me an old cynic but I have a growing suspicion that more and more of these emotionally charged scenes among some of the fans are due more to the fact that the fans concerned realise they’ll be blubbing their eyes out on national television rather than out of any worrying concern about which league they’ll be watching their team next season – if they go to watch them at all.
Now being a Hearts supporter, I realise I’m laying myself open to a charge of hypocrisy here. Not that every season ends in tears for us, of course. But back in 1986 on the final day of the league season at Dens Park there were tears aplenty among the vast travelling support from Edinburgh as Hearts lost two goals in the final eight minutes to Dundee, thereby losing the league championship to Celtic on goal difference. The scenes of distraught Jambos sitting with heads in hands on the Dens Park terracing were beamed around the country as one of the most dramatic endings in league history was played out to a disbelieving nation. Hearts had been unbeaten in all competitions since the beginning of October but lost the game they needed to avoid defeat in most. Like most of the fifteen thousand Hearts fans at Dundee that day, I fought back the tears myself. But this was a genuine show of grief from the maroon army. In the mid 1980s only the BBC and ITV televised football and there was none of this ‘last day on a Sunday for live television coverage’ scenarios we have these days. That day at Dens Park was a Saturday with a normal three o’clock kick-off and there were only highlights on television late on Saturday evening (not that many Hearts fans were inclined to watch them) But in these days of satellite television coverage, with a multitude of cameras covering the game from almost every conceivable angle, the reaction of supporters is an important part of the coverage. And don’t some fans know it!
How often will we see pictures of fans chewing fingernails, or covering their faces, or wiping tears from their eyes in the days ahead? Quite often these are relatively young supporters who are still in the infancy of their football fan career. And some of the fans may be those who follow the bigger teams like Celtic, Manchester United or Chelsea. Now with all due respect if any of those clubs lose out on a league title or cup then, disappointing though that is for their fans, the floods of tears at the end of a game seem to me to be of the crocodile variety. The consistently successful clubs are never a season or two away from lifting silverware of some sort so the extreme emotion on display from some fans does irritate me somewhat. For the fans of those clubs who don’t regularly win trophies the agony of getting so close to victory is tangible but more often than not, they’re usually proud of their team for getting so close. It’s not so much tears on display as a show of pride that their team didn’t let them down. The Gretna fans at last season’s Scottish Cup final were a case in point. It seemed the entire population of the borders town descended on Mount Florida that day and they were proud to be there, proud to be part of Scottish football history. No false tears. Just immense pride and a day they would never forget.
Down south, this year’s FA Cup final promises to be a classic with the two best teams in the land battling it out for the famous old trophy. But you can bet the television cameras will hone in on either Chelsea or Manchester United fans sobbing at the end of the game. It’s enough to make you cringe. But there was one tearful display from supporters that was worthwhile viewing, particularly for Hearts fans.
The Lochend Brazil’s defeat at the hands of the team bottom of the SPL in the semi-final of the Scottish Cup the other week had the tears running down my face – and my sides splitting. You might think it would be churlish of any Hearts fan to gloat in such circumstances. But then, as I follow a pub team, I can enjoy being churlish…
Mike Smith, 29 April 2007
I have a confession to make. In fact, I have two confessions. And neither of them have anything to do with last week’s piece in Planet Hearts in which I was perceived as being somewhat unflattering to Mrs Smith (anyone know of a good lawyer?) Firstly, I have to confess that, last Saturday, I didn’t go to the Hearts game. In the race for third place in the SPL and its subsequent place in next season’s UEFA Cup the Jambos had to do without my support. And secondly, to compound this dereliction of duty, not only did I not venture west, but I remained in the relative comfort of my own home – in the somewhat dubious company of irate spouse and mischievous visiting grandson – to watch the live SPL game on Setanta Sports. Yes, Aberdeen’s game against, er, Hibernian. But before judge and jury condemn me to a life of penance, let me explain the reason for my somewhat shameful behaviour…
Perhaps my ageing brain is now at the stage of affecting my judgement but I suspect I’m not the only Hearts supporter who finds trips to Ibrox Stadium and Celtic Park nauseating. They are certainly not pleasurable experiences, rather ones of endurance even on the rare occasion that Hearts actually win in Glasgow. Seven years ago I made the error of judgement of taking my then thirteen-year-old daughter to Ibrox to see Hearts in a Scottish Cup tie against the Forces of Darkness. This was at the time that SKY Television were covering Scottish football far more frequently than they do now so consideration of the lifeblood of the game – the fans – was the last thing on the television executives minds as the game was switched to a Sunday evening kick-off at that traditional time of 6.05pm. A dark, cold March evening wasn’t exactly enticing but we went anyway, travelling through with the convoy of Hearts supporter’s buses that departed from McLeod Street. To say the reception we received at Castle Greyskull was hostile was like saying Rangers fans have an aversion to Roman Catholics. We were shepherded into the lower tier of the Broomloan Stand where we subjected to the worst excesses of Weegieness as sections of the home support displayed their vile, bigoted and offensive behaviour. Rangers fans were in the upper tier and weren’t averse to throwing pies, burgers and even hot soup down on the Hearts support below. Thankfully, Laura and I were in the back row of the stand - just a few yards away from that perennial Jambo Gary Locke and his family - so missed the flying missiles but others weren’t so lucky. In the corner of the adjacent stand, some Rangers fans spent the entire ninety minutes hurling abuse at the away support. One such lout noticed my teenage daughter and thought he would display that renowned Glesga’ banter by dropping his trousers and baring his buttocks. His fellow Weegies thought this highly amusing. Having had enough of such despicable behaviour, I ventured to complain to a steward who merely grunted and turned his back on me. With anger rising, I made my way to an officer of the Strathclyde Constabulary. He didn’t ignore me – but his response of ‘well if you’re not happy then the exits are behind you’ left me astounded. His parting shot of ‘what do you expect me to do about it?’ left me open-mouthed and speechless.
All this was played against a backdrop of sectarian behaviour by not only Rangers fans but, it has to be said, the club itself. When the teams came on to the pitch they were accompanied by the strains of ‘Follow, Follow’ by the deafening Ibrox pa system with the words of the song helpfully displayed on the giant video screens at each corner of the ground. Interestingly, the words that followed Dundee and Hamilton on the official club version were ‘up to Aberdeen and back again’ with no mention of his holiness the Pope or his place of residence. But the Rangers hordes knew what words to use anyway…
I left Ibrox angry and disgusted that evening. Not only at another punchless Hearts performance in Glasgow but at the despicable behaviour of the locals – and the fact the club and the police seemingly condoned this. Small wonder I rarely go to Ibrox these days. Perhaps Rangers have cleaned up their act recently – particularly in view of the threat from UEFA that such behaviour may now mean a deduction of points. But I’m not overly keen to find out.
Okay, I hear you say, so you didn’t go to Ibrox. But why the hell watch Hibs on the box? Well, dear reader, it wasn’t really the Lochend Brazil I was watching. My mother has recently moved to the capital city but her allegiance to Aberdeen remains intact. And, having recently subscribed to Setanta Sports, I invited her over to chez Smith to watch the Aberdeen-Hibs game. A word to the Irish broadcasters if I may – Craig Burley may still be angry at the way Hearts treated his uncle but can you try to get him to tone down his obvious dislike of the JTs? His comment that Barry Nicholson was back in the Aberdeen team having recovered from the absolutely disgraceful challenge by Hearts Larry Kingston was unnecessary.
So that’s my confession for this week. Next week, why I didn’t go to Celtic Park. Well, there’s the outrageous price of a ticket, the restricted view, the singing of Irish republican songs…
Mike Smith, 22 April 2007
This weekend was one of those scenarios where fate was conspiring against me. Not only were Hearts not in action due to the fact the SPL had split and it was cup semi-final day, but also Mrs Smith’s work roster meant she was on a weekend off. A combination of these unfortunate events usually means a trip round B&Q to look at every roll of wallpaper the DIY giants have in stock or following the arrows in IKEA much like Brad Davis did in the sanatorium in the film Midnight Express. But on Saturday I was saved by one of the biggest sporting traditions in the country – the Grand National. Now normally my trips to see my ‘accountant’ are fraught with anxiety in case said Mrs Smith discovers that I’ve not paid this month’s council tax and have opted instead to place a few bob on the 2.30 at Newmarket (if you’re reading this, dear, I’m using creative licence…) But when eldest daughter Laura asked me to place a bet for her on the big race, it was the perfect excuse to give traipsing round the shops a miss and head for the heaving masses at Ladbrokes. But, as always with the national, the decision of which horse to pick was fraught with danger.
The obvious choice for Hearts supporters was Idle Talk. And at 16/1 on the morning of the race, an each-way bet looked tempting. But there were others worth considering. With my grandson’s second birthday fast approaching, Jack High was another horse worth consideration. Indeed Laura was immediately drawn to that one and asked me to put her bet on for her. Slim Pickings reminded me of what Hibs got from the last Edinburgh derby while Thisthatandtother may well have been on the agenda for the now infamous meeting between the Hibs players and chairman Rod Petrie the other week (oh, to have been a fly on the wall at that meeting) Eurotrek was also attractive to Jambos given the numerous memorable European sorties by the boys in maroon in recent years. Bordeaux, Braga, Basle, Athens, Prague…all carry stories to tell. I looked at Celtic Son with some sadness – it reminded me that the sight of Steven Pressley wearing the green and white hoops still fills me with despair. Elvis will always be a Hearts legend in my eyes and despite his defection to the west, I will always remember him as the best Heart captain I’ve ever seen. Celtic Son could also apply to Paul Hartley but PH never hid his affection for The Hoops and no fair-minded Hearts supporter would wish to deny his boyhood dream of playing for the team he supported.
What of some of the other horses for the big race? Gallant Approach was a no-no. Hearts next two games are away to Rangers and Celtic and given the team formation for the last two games against Hibs and Kilmarnock – and add the fact Hearts are now just three points behind Aberdeen in the race for third place – gallant approach would surely be the last thing Hearts would adopt in their visits to Weegieland. One of the more fancied horses was Simon but this reminded me of Simon Brown, one of the comic Hibernian goalkeepers and the horse, in all probability, would start promisingly before flapping hopelessly at Bechers Brook, ending all hopes of glory for another year. Although spelt differently, Livingstone Bramble, brought to mind poor John Robertson’s problems at Livingston who are not yet totally safe from a second successive demotion. A man as committed to the game as wee Robbo deserves a bit of managerial luck for once.
In the end I opted for Idle Talk. Part of the Hearts anthem of course and which begs the question of what has happened to the fanzine No Idle Talk which used to appear regularly throughout the season? Given the missus was on a weekend off, idle talk is also what springs to mind as she chooses to discuss the pressing issue (literally) of bathroom tiles the moment Gary Lineker smugly introduces Match of the Day on a Saturday evening. The chance of making a couple of bob at least filled part of the void that is a Hearts free Saturday but, of course, it’s not quite the same as hurling abuse at a referee for showing a yellow card to Julien Brellier (was I the only one astonished that Le Juge went through ninety minutes against Killie without being booked??) In the end Idle Talk fell early on and didn’t make it to the end of the race. Synonymous with Hearts season really…
But, warming to the theme, Mrs Smith looked out at the garden and, deprived of her trip to the DIY store, not only made her choice for the grand national but a caustic instruction to what needed doing now the good weather was here. ‘Number one’ she spat as she nodded to the window ‘Hedgehunter’.
And with that I was despatched to the shed for the trimmer…
Mike Smith, 14 April 2007
With the end of the season now in sight, the thoughts of supporters are elsewhere, anywhere but on the football field after what has been a miserable season. We can only hope that Vladimir Romanov grants Stevie Frail’s wish list of six quality players for the next campaign. But the premature end to Hearts season brought to mind the days when I was a lad (the war years? Ed) in the early 1970s when Hearts often struggled in an eighteen team First Division (the top flight in those days) and an early exit from the Scottish Cup meant tedious end of the season fixtures against the likes of Arbroath and East Fife with nothing to play for. In order to relieve such turgid fare, my cousin George and I would arrange our annual Subbuteo Challenge Cup match, a game that would take on unhealthy significance for us both (he was an Aberdeen fan and in the early 1970s their season tended to end at the same time as Hearts) Subbuteo was then, and probably still is, the world’s best table football game and was the saviour in the Smith household on many a Saturday evening after a Hearts defeat.
It says much for my nerdiness that I still recall the 1974 Slade Album to the Winner game that was to become not so much the Battle of Santiago (younger readers ask your grandfather about the 1962 World Cup) as the Battle of South Aberdeen, where I was living at the time. The build up to the game was my first experience of the class war that still exists in today’s society. While I had just two Subbuteo teams, a set of two goalposts and a brown ball, cousin George had a dozen teams – one of which was Ajax of Amsterdam – a green baize pitch with markings, a dugout, manager and an assistant and, the piece de resistance – floodlights. It was at this grand arena (George’s house) that this classic encounter took place one Saturday thirty-three years ago. After the football results had been read out on Grandstand – Ayr United 2 Hearts 1 - George and I retired to the spare room. Typical gamesmanship followed when George decided to use his England team after I had won the toss of the coin and selected Ajax, whom Hearts had somewhat bizarrely modelled their strip on that year. While George played a 4-4-2 system with Mick Channon and Martin Chivers up front, I was steadfastly sticking to Donald Ford and co. In a bid to add spice to the occasion we both agreed that our substitutes would contain two pop stars from that era. That George elected for Elton John and Gary Glitter to sit on his bench tells you all you need to know about him. I opted for Noddy Holder and Alice Cooper but as the away team we didn’t have a bench so they had to make do with Uncle Bill’s spare ashtray.
Now with all the smart-arse gear, George was naturally more experienced at the game than I was. As The Undertones sang so memorably in My Perfect Cousin, he flicked to kick and I didn’t know. After ten minutes, England were 3-0 up and my cause wasn’t helped when in a fit of rage I picked up Kenny Aird and threw him across the room only for the diminutive winger to be trodden on by George’s mum as she came to tell us supper was ready. After a half-time break that lasted an hour – Dr. Who was on BBC1 – the match resumed in a tense atmosphere. After Jeff Astle scored a fourth goal for the home side, I brought on Alice Cooper, a move that was to have devastating consequences for the game. As I was re-arranging the team’s formation so that Cooper was playing just behind Bobby Prentice, cousin George raced up the pitch and scored a fifth. When I protested that I wasn’t ready George merely smirked which provoked me to swing a right hook that landed on my cousin’s nose. As George rolled on the floor in agony, he inadvertently sat on Gordon Banks and as Alice Cooper and Drew Busby combined brilliantly to grab a goal back, the floodlights were switched off and the pitch was being rolled up in a vain attempt to avoid the drips of blood oozing from George’s nose.
The ensuing wails from said cousin brought a rapid appearance from his mum and I was immediately ejected from the room by the ear and told to wait for my mother who was on her way to pick me up. The subsequent four-week ban from my cousin’s house was probably for the best.
So while many of us wish to forget the season that is just about to end there are still some things worth recalling in the Smith household from tedious end of season eras. England 5 (Chivers 2, Channon, Astle, Moore) Heart of Midlothian 1 (Alice Cooper) – match abandoned after 60 minutes – remains etched on the memory even though I was only twelve years old at the time. I know, there can be few Hearts fans as sad as me. But at least Alice Cooper and Noddy Holder are still going strong…
Mike Smith, 1 April 2007
It was dripping in irony. The glossy brochure Hearts sent to season ticket holders last week had little shame. Heart & Soul – They Fought Their Hearts Out was the sales pitch on Hearts season ticket package for next season. Pictured on the front page was Roman Bednar celebrating scoring a goal (they must have searched the archives for that one) and Edgaras Jankauskas and Robbie Neilson running in identical pose. The cut and past facility on the Tynecastle ticket office computer seems to be working well. The brochures were sent out just days after a truly demoralising defeat by Dundee United at Tynecastle. The 4-0 loss was bad enough but those of us who were there to witness it know it could have been even worse. The opposition weren’t Celtic or Rangers. They were Dundee United who, until that traumatic afternoon, shared the worst away goalscoring record in the SPL with Motherwell. Craig Levein must have considered smoking a king-sized cigar that night. As he did so often while in charge at Tynecastle, he got his team’s tactics spot on although against such soft-centred opposition that’s not saying much. Ironic then that the Hearts marketing people promoted season tickets for the next campaign declaring the Hearts players ‘fought their hearts out’. As anyone who watched Hearts worst home performance in years will tell you – no they didn’t.
It was interesting to note that Hearts have frozen the price of season tickets – if you renew before the end of April. The letter from Roman Romanov said that demand was outstripping supply and urged renewal as quickly as possible. Purchasing a season ticket was ‘an investment’. Well, going by the number of maroon and white scarves tossed on to the Tynecastle pitch as Dundee United scored goal after goal the other week, I’m not so sure investment is the correct term. And as for demand outstripping supply, Tynecastle Stadium at 4.30 that afternoon resembled Tynecastle at 2.30 – more than half empty. I wonder if the decision to freeze the price of season tickets was taken in the aftermath of the United debacle. I didn’t receive my brochure until the Thursday although this could be down to the all too common laissez-faire attitude of Dalkeith posties.
Last summer, in the glow of a Scottish Cup triumph and the prospect of Hearts playing in the UEFA Champions League, Hearts sold more than thirteen thousand season tickets. A record amount as Hearts sought to challenge the Old Firm once more. After what has been a quite awful season, I doubt very much if Hearts will sell even ten thousand season tickets for next term. The football produced by the team this season – and I use the term loosely – has been the poorest for some time. It doesn’t say much for Scottish football that a poor Hearts team are still fourth in the SPL (still above Hibs – some things never change) and still in with an outside chance of qualifying for next season’s UEFA Cup. But I suspect that many of those who purchased a season ticket for the first time last summer won’t be renewing this time around. And if Vlad wonders why season ticket sales have plummeted he doesn’t have to search too hard for the reasons why.
For the second season in succession, Hearts have had three Head Coaches in charge in one campaign. Last season it was George Burley, Graham Rix and Valdas Ivanauskas. This time around it’s been Ivanauskas (twice), Edward Malofeev and now Anatoly Korobochka (assisted by Stevie Frail) The club has despatched its two most inspirational players – Steven Pressley and Paul Hartley – to Celtic. Vladimir Romanov meddles with team selection and fans have no idea what the team will be from week to week. Alarmingly, neither have the players. And on the evidence of the defeat from The Arabs, some players seem quite happy to pick up their wages in return for the minimum of effort. Romanov’s ridiculous diatribe against the press has made Hearts a laughing stock, as has the owner’s relationships with men who are supposed to be picking the team. Even former Hearts chairman and now Planet Hearts columnist, Lord Foulkes was moved to say last week that no self-respecting manager or coach would go anywhere near Tynecastle. This season Aberdeen have passed us by and even Edinburgh’s wee team have usurped their bigger brothers by actually winning a trophy.
Yes, plans to build a new main stand are at an advanced stage. The only piece of good news to emerge from Tynecastle this season. But the way Hearts are heading, I suspect they’ll struggle to fill even half the projected 26,000 capacity.
The glossy season ticket brochure says next season will be an unmissable tale of emotion and adventure. If it’s anything like this season I may be tempted to sue under the trades description act. Sadly, the heart and soul of Edinburgh may be missing a few souls next season…
Mike Smith, 25 March 2007
Many football traditionalists were aghast the other week on learning that the Football League in England is considering its latest hare-brained scheme to ‘liven up’ the game we all love. Namely the scrapping of games ending all square. If some legislators get their way the ‘draw’ will no longer exist in professional English football outside the FA Premiership. If a game ends even at the end of ninety minutes, the proposal is to decide the game by a penalty shoot-out with the winners getting two points instead of just the one they would normally get for a drawn game. The losers would get nothing. This is a suggestion from a Football League working party, chaired by Brian Mawhinney and one that has been condemned by just about everyone in the game. The proposal suggests that perhaps the working party were devising this plan from the back room of a pub in London somewhere…
True, when FIFA introduced three points for a win some years ago there was some opposition. Some critics declared that such a move would encourage defensive play, particularly for teams playing away from home who would try to sneak an early goal and then shut up shop in a desperate attempt to claim three points instead of one. But in practice teams appear to be more adventurous knowing there are three points at stake. Particularly those teams in the heat of a championship challenge or relegation battle. The weekend of Hearts woeful reversal against Dundee United last month was a case in point. Dunfermline Athletic, cut adrift at the foot of the SPL, knew that playing for a draw at Inverness was of little use to them, given they were nine points behind relegation rivals St. Mirren. So Stephen Kenny’s men went to the Highland capital with all guns blazing and headed back to Fife with a 3-1 win. Down south, the consensus of opinion was that West Ham were not so much hovering over the relegation trapdoor as clinging on to it by their fingernails. A goal down away to Blackburn, The Hammers poured men forward and got not one but two lucky breaks which saw them notch what could be a priceless 2-1 win. The enticing prospect of three points was a clear factor in both results. In my view, Lord Mawhinney’s proposal would take away the incentive.
Until this season, Tynecastle has proven to be something of a fortress (sadly the likes of St. Mirren, Kilmarnock, Aberdeen and Dundee United have disproved that theory this season). But when Hearts get their act together next season and normal service is resumed there will be many teams who will come to Gorgie and adopt hit and run tactics in the hope of three points. I can only imagine some team’s tactics if there was a penalty shoot-out at the end of a drawn ninety minutes. Some coaches would be certain to drop all eleven players behind the ball in the hope of taking their chances in a penalty shoot-out and escaping with not just one but two points. And surely the name of the game is about entertaining the punters, the fans who part with hard-earned cash to watch their football at the weekend? With the cost of watching football continuing to spiral the last thing football should be doing is driving fans away.
This latest proposal to spice up the game is nonsense. It appears to be another Americanisation of this country. We already have US styled ‘cheerleaders’ at some grounds in this country – I am full of admiration for those poor girls at Aberdeen’s Pittodrie Stadium who have to ‘entertain’ the crowd in ill-fitting costumes whilst bearing the brunt of a biting gale force win blowing in from the North Sea – and I can just see future working parties suggesting bigger goals, games being split into quarters instead of halves (for the benefit of those games televised) and corporate sponsors logos being painted at acute angles on the pitch for maximum exposure (as has happened now in rugby union, once the last bastion of amateurism)
Well, here’s a plea from a football traditionalist. Leave the game alone! It’s bad enough having games on a Monday night, major cup semi-finals on a Sunday lunchtime and kick-off times to suit television companies. Securing a draw from a match that seems lost remains one of the alluring aspects of the game. Who could forget, for instance, Hearts coming back from 4-2 down to draw with Hibs at Tynecastle a few years ago? Or playing poorly but still coming back from 2-0 down to claim a point at Easter Road earlier this season?
Yes, football is about winning. But the next best thing is not losing! As in life, not everything about football is clear-cut. And that’s the way it should be!
Mike Smith, 19 March 2007
It seems to sum up the make-up of yer’ average Hibby. The usual vacant look has been supplemented this week with a smug grin, the wearing of green and white at every opportunity and incessant mumblings of Glory, Glory to the Hibees. Edinburgh’s wee team won a wee trophy on Sunday and the metropolis that is Leith celebrated accordingly. If it wasn’t quite the Brazilian samba, it was wanna-be Brazilian conveyors of flair painting the streets of Lochend red (or green and white) All week the Hibbies had been salivating over the prospect of their team actually winning a game at Hampden Park. And this time they had a chance as the big boys of Scottish football - Celtic, Rangers and Hearts – had given up on the CIS Insurance Cup some time ago. All that stood between the Leithers and victory was Kilmarnock who are managed by a man who knows what it’s like to win major silverware.
Typically, Hibs fluked their way to victory and the celebrations of Edinburgh’s less fortunates began. The rest of Scottish football merely looked on and shook its head. What were Hibs celebrating exactly? A trophy certainly. But a trophy that earns what? A place in Europe next season? Erm, no. Not even a place in the UEFA Cup, Europe’s second ranking competition. A fact that Scotland’s top clubs have already acknowledged. Hence the reason Celtic, Rangers, Hearts and Aberdeen were nowhere near Hampden last Sunday. The Dons showed how seriously they took this competition back in August when they were beaten by Third Division Queens Park. Yes, folks, a third division amateur team. If Pittodrie Chairman Stewart Milne was losing any sleep over this he certainly didn’t show it. And manager Jimmy Calderwood, while disappointed, wasn’t too distraught. He knew few clubs took the competition seriously.
If anyone’s in any doubt about this just take a look at the Old Firm’s ‘commitment’ to the cup that few outside of Leith care about. Celtic, with somewhat more important things to think about such as the UEFA Champions League and retaining their SPL title, were knocked out after defeat at home to Falkirk. Only two other teams have beaten Celtic domestically this season – Hearts and Rangers (although the Bairns did it again last Sunday in the SPL at their own ground) Across at Ibrox, Rangers had, perhaps, more reason than most to show an interest in the competition given that they had relinquished all hope of the SPL title by Guy Fawkes Night and only had the UEFA Cup to dream about. But that didn’t stop St. Johnstone securing a rare victory in Govan beating their ‘illustrious’ opponents 2-0 at a half empty Ibrox.
Having won the Scottish Cup last May and reached out and touched the Champions League this season, Hearts wouldn’t even let a quarter-final Edinburgh derby clash at Easter Road dent their disdain for the competition. A clearly disinterested Hearts allowed their city neighbours to win rather more easily than the 1-0 scoreline suggested, having played a formation which baffled everyone – including it seemed the Hearts players.
A look at the semi-finalists said all there needed to be said about the CIS Insurance Cup. Hibs, St. Johnstone, Kilmarnock and Falkirk. The sponsors must have been right pleased. But it was no real surprise. Ever since the European place that used to be associated with the competition was taken away some years ago, the League Cup has been devalued to the point now that the major clubs no longer give a Jonathan Ross. The competition has the little more credence than the East of Scotland Shield or Ayrshire Cup. A bit of fun, a day out but little more than that. Down south, the English equivalent has been devalued to the extent that Arsenal and Manchester United now play their reserve teams. True, Chelsea won the trophy a few weeks back but Jose Mourinho has such a vast squad he can afford to play an expensive reserve line-up. At least the English version gives the winners a place in Europe. In Scotland, all Hibs got was the bus fare home.
Much was made about Rangers exit from the UEFA Cup last week with manager Walter Smith at pains to point out the importance of his club securing second spot in the SPL and entering next season’s Champions League. This underlines how football’s major players regard even the UEFA Cup as second-rate – the Champions League is European football’s top table, where the top clubs look to feast. Winning the CIS Insurance Cup doesn’t even gain entry to the second-rate UEFA Cup - at least the much-ridiculed Inter-Toto Cup has a UEFA Cup place for the winners.
But I hope the wee team and its fans enjoyed their wee day out last Sunday. Edinburgh’s premier club has already won the major cup competition in Scotland twice in the last nine years.
That’s what winning a real trophy is all about…
Mike Smith, 18 March 2007
Thankfully, Hearts game this weekend against Dundee United kicks off on Saturday. At three o’clock. None of this Monday evening nonsense for the benefit of satellite television viewers (it would be interesting to see Setanta’s viewing figures for the Motherwell-Hearts game the Monday before last to see if they amounted to more than three men and a dog) But while a cold, dark Monday night trek to deepest Lanarkshire may not have been exactly appealing to the Maroon Army, at least finding out what was happening at Fir Park was not a problem. And the ease of getting regular updates from the game made me think of times gone by when trying to get the score of a Hearts game played on anything other than a Saturday afternoon or Wednesday evening would have required all the precision planning of a military operation.
I wrote in last week’s Planet Hearts of a memorable Hearts win at Pittodrie in 1986. The following season, Hearts were drawn at home to ‘lowly’ Montrose in the League Cup and the game was played on a Tuesday evening. There were only two other League Cup ties played that night so there was no radio or television coverage. This was an era before the internet and mobile phones, as we know them today and for those supporters not able to make it to Tynecastle an evening of frustration lay ahead as we wondered how the boys in maroon were faring. I was living in Aberdeen at the time and I never felt more remote from Gorgie as I did that evening. Nowadays we have the internet, mobile telephones, Sky Sport News and radio stations dedicated to sport so it’s difficult not to get the score. Twenty-one years ago, however, it was a much different story.
My eldest daughter was just weeks old in August 1986 – she was born the Saturday after Hearts lost the Scottish Cup final to Aberdeen (and a fortnight after that day at Dens Park) But my pacing across the room with child in arms wasn’t just about getting baby Laura to sleep. An element of my anxious strut across the living room carpet was wondering what the hell was going on 130 miles away. As Laura cried, I whispered to her that there was no need to fret. After all, it was only Montrose that Hearts were playing. The result was bound to be a formality. Hearts had come so close to silverware just weeks earlier, complacency would surely be far from the players’ minds? Eventually, the sports desk on Radio 2 (no Radio Five Live then, meaning I had to wait until Humphrey Littleton finished some obscure jazz number before ending his show) announced news of English football, cricket, rugby, tennis and the inter-county tiddlywinks championships from Preston (okay, perhaps I may exaggerate here) before signing off with ‘and finally a couple of football results from Scotland tonight – in the League Cup it was Heart of Midlothian nil, Montrose two….’
I almost dropped baby Laura in horror. What was that? Bloody BBC, can’t they get anything right? 2-0 to Montrose? That useless announcer has read the score the wrong way round?! Hasn’t he? I quickly despatched Laura to her cot and tried to telephone my father in Cumbernauld. But he wasn’t in. Hearts losing to Montrose? Surely some mistake, as Private Eye would say? But, no. News at Ten confirmed the news half an hour later (I’m sure Sir Trevor McDonald had to look twice at the autocue…) Hearts had been knocked out of the League Cup by some backwater First Division club. To make matters worse, I discovered the following day that both Montrose goals had been set up by Innes MacDonald, a former schoolmate of mine. One of the longest nights I had endured as a Hearts supporter resulted on the following day becoming one of the longest days as smug Aberdonians ridiculed Hearts latest faux pas.
In 2007, of course, such a scenario just wouldn’t happen. Not Hearts losing to Montrose – the way the Jambos are playing this season that wouldn’t surprise anyone. I mean going hours without knowing what the score was. Good Lord, when I was on holiday in Egypt a year ago, I was receiving regular text messages telling me Hearts were 1-0, then 2-0 then 3-0 ahead against Aberdeen at Tynecastle. Communication technology and media coverage of all types of sport has been revolutionised in the last few years and sports results and match reports are now instant. Thanks to the internet, Hearts fans in Australia can not only get up to the minute coverage on Hearts World, they can also watch the game as it happens. The world is a much smaller place than it was in the mid 1980s.
Sadly, though, it does mean that when Hearts turn in yet another God-awful performance in a mid-week game, we know about it instantly. You know, that Humphrey Littleton isn’t so bad after all….
Mike Smith, 11 March 2007
This Saturday sees Hearts make the journey north to Aberdeen and the bitterly cold footballing outpost that is Pittodrie Stadium. The last time Hearts went up there they turned on one of their better performances of the season and won 3-1 with Mauricio Pinilla scoring a fine goal. There is as much chance of that happening on Saturday as Jimmy Calderwood winning Slimmer of the Year with the likes of Steven Pressley and Paul Hartley gone and Pinilla himself likely to be away before too long. However despite numerous changes to the Hearts squad since that cold September day (it’s always cold in Aberdeen) half of the team that won that day could play again on Saturday in the Granite City. With the notable addition of Ghanaian ‘Larry’ Kingston who has been the one ray of hope through Hearts recent pitiful displays. But whatever Hearts team line up against The Dons, the Maroon Army still expect their team to take three points – a sign of the levels of expectancy now ingrained in the minds of some in Gorgie, despite some distinctly lacklustre performances this season. However, as I pen this article, there are still tickets aplenty left for the Hearts end at Pittodrie, which infers that this particular fixture has lost some of its attraction. Which is a pity because not so long ago, an Aberdeen-Hearts game would have been the game of the day in Scotland.
Call me an old codger (you’re an old codger...) but it scarcely seems like twenty-one years since Hearts recorded one of their most memorable victories over The Dons on a cold but triumphant January afternoon in 1986. This was the famous – or some might say infamous – season when Hearts recovered from a shaky start to the league campaign to embark on a long, unbeaten run which began in September and lasted until the last day of the season. By Christmas 1985, Hearts had gone top of the Scottish Premier Division (as it was then) and while the expected challengers for the championship - Aberdeen, Celtic and Dundee United – all had games in hand, the mighty Jambos were blazing a trail, sticking two fingers up at the establishment and sneering ‘catch us if you can’. Hearts trip to Pittodrie at the end of January was the acid test of their championship credentials. The maroons 2-0 win at Ibrox Stadium just after Christmas had all but snuffed out Rangers flickering league title hopes but Rangers were a spent force in the early to mid 1980s – this was the pre Souness era and Rangers BC (before chequebook). Aberdeen were the self-styled team of the Eighties and, under the tutelage of manager Alex Ferguson, had won every domestic honour in Scotland. They were the reigning league champions and Alex Macdonald’s Hearts side headed to the Granite City as pretenders to the throne. Five thousand Hearts supporters headed north and gave their team tumultuous backing from start to finish. Given the maroons had been scrapping for promotion from the First Division just three years earlier, the progress made under Macdonald and chairman Wallace Mercer’s leadership was startling and Jambos were in dreamland, collectively pinching themselves to make sure Hearts really were challenging for their first league title in over a quarter of a century.
The game at Pittodrie went pretty much as expected. Champions Aberdeen, if not quite in last chance saloon, knew defeat would severely dent their chances of retaining their title and they attacked the silver-shirted Hearts team from the off. But chance after chance went begging and they found Hearts cult goalkeeper – and now cult Planet Hearts columnist – Henry Smith in inspired form. The noisy five thousand, bedecked in maroon and white in what was then the Beach End (now the Richard Donald Stand) would have gladly settled for a point so long as it meant Hearts remained top of the table. When Alex MacDonald replaced legendary striker John Robertson with the rugged experience of defender Colin Macadam with ten minutes to go, it seemed the Hearts manager had concurred with the feelings of the huge support. But, with just eight minutes left, Walter ‘Zico’ Kidd launched a long ball from the right side of Hearts defence. Kidd’s long and high effort dropped in front of John Colquhoun who outwitted the renowned Aberdeen defence of Willie Miller and Alex McLeish and ran in on goalkeeper Jim Leighton. As the huge Hearts support held their breath, JC slipped the ball beyond the on-rushing keeper to put Hearts ahead. Pandemonium in the Beach End as Hearts fans leapt for joy and a hairy, foul-breathed, beer-bellied Jambo fell on top of me (she did apologise though…)
Hearts won the game 1-0 and it was one of those games that remain etched in the memory of those who were there. There was no television coverage at the time due to a dispute between the broadcasters and the Scottish League so only the five thousand could recall events with pride years later. Nowadays, Aberdeen are no longer the force they were – indeed they were the last team outside the Old Firm to win the league back in 1985. And a fixture that was once one of the highlights of the season has now degenerated into just another game.
For the five thousand Jambos who were at Pittodrie twenty-one years ago – and for those who plan to go again this Saturday – the battle of the third force clubs remains iconic. Any chance John Colquhoun could look out his boots?!
Mike Smith, 9 March 2007
Okay, item one on this week’s agenda. Tonight’s semi-final draw for the Scottish Football Association Challenge Cup, henceforth known as the Scottish Cup. Have we heard from the BBC or SKY?
Yes, the BBC is sending over some blonde burd to do the tacky introduction bit.
What? Hazel Irvine? I like her, she’s lovely. Still a looker even though she’s no’ spring chicken any more.
No, it’s not her. It’s someone else. The one whose name no one can remember.
Who’s that then?
I can’t remember.
Never mind. So you’ve told Alex McLeish and Andy Watson to be here at 6.30pm sharp?
Aye, they’ve been told. There’s a lodge meeting at 6.00pm but Stuart Dougal’s letting them away early so there should be no problem.
No problem? That’s not what happened last year. Remember the draw for the last four twelve months ago? What a cock-up that was, taking the two cubes out at the same time. Hearts versus Hibs indeed. In the semi-final! No wonder the sponsors went ballistic.
Aye, well, I told you we should have got The Proclaimers to do it. That would have given the Reid boys at least some enjoyment. They were certainly singing My Heart is Broken at the end of the game…
Here, now, that’s enough. We’ll have no Jambo tendencies in this office.
Sorry, boss, I wasn’t thinking. Anyway that’s all in the past. We’re not using cubes this year; we’re using state of the art technology.
Really? What’s that then?
We’ve got a microwave oven and we’re heating the balls marked Celtic and Hibernian with the other two balls being kept in the freezer all afternoon. So there should be no problem – not even Andy Watson could cock this up.
I wouldn’t bet on it.
Don’t worry – it’ll be all right on the night. I’ve been on the phone to Tennants and they’re happy enough as long as it’s not a St. Johnstone-Dunfermline final.
Christ, that would be nightmare. We’d be lucky to get three men and a dug at that game. Okay. So, assuming Hibs don’t bottle it yet again in the semi-final, who are we going to appoint as referee for this year’s final?
Well, obviously we can’t use Dougie McDonald. He’ll be in the Hibs end with his mates.
I didn’t know he had any mates.
Fair point, but he’ll still be in the Hibs end. Actually we need to make sure his ticket is for a seat that is not in camera shot. It could be embarrassing if, when the glorious mighty Glasgow Celtic score their fourth goal with ten minutes to go, the majority of the Hibs support head for the exits and the television cameras hone in on a shot of Dougie all on his ownsome crying his eyes out.
That’s a good shout. I’ll send a memorandum to the ticket office. Anyway, there’ll be plenty other greetin’ faced Hibbies to put on camera. So whose the mason in the black for this year’s final? Actually, we’d better not make it a mason this year….How about Mike McCurry? Good catholic boy, he’ll not let us down.
Aye, I think that’s a good choice. I’ll run it by wee Gordon Strachan and get his views. But I’m sure there won’t be a problem.
6.50pm – Hampden Park media suite. The presenter with no name smiles and the cameras turn to one of the Hampden Suits.
So, without further ado, can I ask you Alex to draw the first team and you Andy to draw the second team?
Nae bother, Chief. (Alex McLeish delves into the little black bag) Ooocha! Anybody got a cold cloth????
In a moment, Alex – and the first team is?
Oh aye – it’s Hibernian….aaaagh!
Thank you. And Andy, if I can ask you.
(Andy Watson gives a typically vacant look) Ask me what?
Ahem, to draw the second team?
Oh, aye, sorry. I was away in a dream. Hang on (rummages in the bag) Ahhh! It’s Cel…
I’m sorry, Andy, there seems to be a slight problem there, can you try again and perhaps select a ball that isn’t going to scald, sorry, ahem, cause a problem.
Oh, aye, right. Sorry, I forgot. It’s….Dunfermline Athletic.
Thank you, Andy, well done. Now Alex, if you could pick the next ball, in your own time, as there’s no pressure now…
Okay. It’s Rangers…
What?!
Nah, only kidding chief. It’s the tattie munchers…
Ahem, the legendary Alex McLeish sense of humour there, He, of course, means Celtic. And Andy, the fourth team please.
Ah’m no putting ma hand in there again. I damn near got scalded last time.
Ha, ha, I can assure you Andy, there is absolutely no chance of you getting your fingers burnt this time…
Aye, well, okay then. It’s Johnstone Street.
Thank you Andy – I think he means St. Johnstone. Thank you, gentlemen. That concludes the draw for the final of the Scottish Cup, which will be between Celtic and Hibernian at Hampden Park on Saturday 26 May 2007…..
Mike Smith, 3 March 2007
There’s little doubt that much of Hearts performances this season have been, in a word, awful. The difference between this term and last season’s displays has been like night and day. Webster, Skacel, Pressley and Hartley have gone and not been adequately replaced and the result is a Hearts team that has invariably struggled this season and has, more often than not, ground out results. There’s every indication that many of the Hearts 13,000 plus season ticket holders won’t renew their commitment next season (and how many of the supposed 7,000 strong waiting list will replace them? Don’t bet on that happening) An increase in the number of empty seats for the recent homes against Inverness Caledonian Thistle and St. Mirren suggests that some of the season ticket holders have already decided they’ve had enough. Now everyone has their right to make choices in life and those fans who won’t return to Tynecastle either this season or next are perfectly entitled not to do so. After all, we live in a democracy. Yes, Mr. Romanov, a democracy (ask Charlie Mann if you don’t know what it means) But such action does beg the question – what the hell will these fans do on a Saturday afternoon?
Last Saturday was a taster of what to expect. With Hearts meekly surrendering the defence of the Scottish Cup at Dunfermline a month ago, the boys in maroon had an idle weekend. Now some may be of the opinion that given the way this season has gone, some of the Hearts players have had an idle weekend every week. But it was strange not having a game to go to in the last week in February. Had Hearts won in Fife or even taken the bottom club in the SPL back to a replay and finished them off, thousands of Jambos would have been milling around Gorgie last Saturday. The pubs would have been full of maroon clad fans dreaming of returning to Hampden for the second year in succession, Tynecastle would have had the usual cup quarter-final atmosphere and – surely – First Division Partick Thistle would have been put to the sword? (that said, Hearts were fortunate to eliminate the Harry Wraggs at the same stage last year) But the only sports fans in Gorgie last Saturday were wearing blue and white heading to Murrayfield to watch Scotland’s rugby team embarrass themselves against Italy.
Like every other Jambo, I found last Saturday difficult. The infamous Mrs Smith has not an earthly when it comes to football matters and she blithely asked if Hearts had a game. My response of telling her to go forth and multiply wasn’t accepted kindly and the emergence of a list of things that required doing around the house appeared with disturbing haste. I thought I would find solace in watching the aforementioned Scotland-Italy Six Nations game but that lasted all of ten minutes by which time the Scots were 21-0 down and the Murrayfield crowd looked suitably aghast. Although it’s a different sport, the game reminded me of Hearts Scottish Cup tie at Falkirk four years ago when the unfancied Bairns raced into a three-goal lead before I had finished my Brockville pie. Hearts were four goals down at half time and humiliation engulfed the despondent travelling support.
After switching off the television at 3.15pm I considered what to do next. Usually at this time on a Saturday I would be encouraging young Andy Driver to display more of his undoubted skill; unfairly castigating Neil McCann for yet another backward pass or hurling abuse at yet another incompetent refereeing performance. But with Hearts not playing and Scotland’s rugby team apparently still in the Roseburn Bar instead of being on the Murrayfield pitch, I found myself at a loose end. And then it occurred to me that, for all my threats not to go back to Tynecastle, that I’ve had all I can take form this damned team of ours, that it just isn’t worth the hassle – life just wouldn’t be the same without the ritual that is being a Hearts supporter. I’ve made similar threats not to go back before. Indeed, mention of Falkirk at Brockville invokes the nightmare of Joe Jordan’s last game in charge of Hearts in May 1993 when the maroons capitulated to a 6-0 hammering to a side then managed by Jim Jefferies. I walked out at ten past four that afternoon vowing I would never watch Hearts again. Seven days later, I was back at Tynecastle…
Sure, this has been a poor season for Hearts. Compared to last season’s achievements and to the promises made by a certain Russian millionaire that raised expectation levels sky-high, the disappointment felt has been palpable. More so when you see a pub team from Leith progress in both cup competitions. But for those Hearts fans not intending on going back, just take a moment to ask yourself what you will do on idle Saturdays next season. Do you really want to trade watching the intricate ball skills of Ibraham Tall for a trek round B&Q or Dobbies Gardening Centre with the missus?
The choice is yours - and I know where I’ll be!
Mike Smith, 25 February 2007
First it was Andy Webster. Then Rudi Skacel. Steven Pressley and Paul Hartley followed six months later. Now it seems Craig Gordon is about to ‘walk the Tynecastle plank’ for his part in speaking out against the inner turmoil at Heart of Midlothian Football Club. Gordon has been dropped from the Hearts first team for the last few games but up to and including the cup-tie at Dunfermline was an unused substitute. Against Inverness Caledonian Thistle last week, however, he didn’t even make the subs bench. Like his fellow Scottish internationalists, the goalie appears to have been cast adrift from the Tynecastle ship and many Hearts supporters fear he may have already played his last game for the club he supported as a boy and for who he has played with such distinction in the last five years.
Just before Christmas, I criticised Vladimir Romanov in this column over the way he treated Hearts finest captain of a generation – Steven Pressley. And because Planet Hearts is not a mouthpiece for the club like the new ‘hard-hitting’ club magazine The Beat, I’m going to criticise Mr Romanov once more. He may have saved Hearts from the catastrophe that would have been demolishing Tynecastle Stadium and moving to Murrayfield but the way he has treated some ambassadors of the club is quite frankly appalling.
In last week’s Planet Hearts, Vlad’s spokesman Charlie Mann displayed admirable loyalty to the man who pays his wages. Charlie stated that Romanov hails from an era where communism ruled in the former Soviet Union and that he tends to view everyone with suspicion. As someone whose name was allegedly on the list of most wanted by the Soviet KGB many years ago, Romanov has developed an unyielding habit of looking over both chips on his shoulders. Freedom of speech, it seems, is not encouraged now at Tynecastle as things are done Vlad’s way or not at all. Charlie Mann is vehement in his insistence that Romanov will deliver long-term prosperity to Hearts. I remember working with Charlie many years ago in Aberdeen at a company that developed into what is now called First Group. A more articulate and intelligent fella you’d be hard pressed to meet and his unswerving loyalty is impressive even if it is the least that would be expected from the Russian. Charlie is only doing his job and doing it very well but I’m not convinced that the future is as rosy for Hearts as Vlad’s spokesman depicts.
The spine of the Hearts team that did so well last season has gone. Not through a necessity to sell as would have been the case under the Robinson Regime. But through petty, spiteful, tit-for-tat conduct that has made Hearts a laughing stock. I believe Andy Webster’s departure was through his own making and the fact he has ended up at Rangers is hard to accept for Hearts fans. But Steven Pressley was as committed to Hearts as anyone else. He was treated shamefully. Paul Hartley, I am sure, would have been happy to stay at Tynecastle. Yes, he has now signed for the club he supported as a boy - but he signed a new contract to keep him in Gorgie last year didn’t he? And now Craig Gordon looks like he is about to experience the ‘Webster’ treatment - the subsequent ‘punishment’ for the Scotland keeper saying the other week he would leave Hearts only on his terms.
Without the Scotland players, Hearts have struggled. The team has had five captains already this season. Young Christophe Berra has handled the captaincy well but the defender is still learning his trade and is hardly experienced enough to skipper others, particularly the likes of Jankauskas, Bednar and Brellier who have all played at a higher level than the youngster. In my view, Hearts lack leadership. With the team chopping and changing every week there is no direction. Last week’s fare against Inverness Caledonian Thistle was poor stuff again. Those players who are selected must wonder who the hell is going to be next to receive the Romanov ‘treatment’.
Now many Hearts fans will disagree with my sentiments and, of course, they have every right to do so. There are those Jambos who still ‘believe’ and remain loyal soldiers of the Romanov Army. If he says good, talented professionals have to leave in order for Hearts to progress then they will also believe he must be right. We are supposed to live in a democracy after all.
Vladmir Romanov has ensured the continued existence of Heart of Midlothian Football Club and for that I remain grateful. But I do wonder at what cost. The debt has increased to record levels. Top players are allowed to leave the club, two of them directly to one of our main competitors, another via Wigan Athletic. More and more sub-standard players are being drafted in from Romanov’s other footballing concern, FC Kaunas whose own supporters are also venting their disgust at what they believe is their side becoming a feeder club for Edinburgh’s biggest club. Hearts will win nothing this season and will be lucky even to qualify for next season’s UEFA Cup. Some distance away from Romanov’s declaration that Hearts will win the Champions League within five years (which he stated over a year ago)
More importantly, however, it seems democracy, decency and respect - traits always associated with Hearts – are fast becoming things of the past at Tynecastle. If they don’t return soon, this supporter – and perhaps a few others – may also consign decades of support to history…
Mike Smith, 16 February 2007
Like any other team, Hearts were hit by injuries. Bruno Aguiar, Robbie Neilson and Christophe Berra would certainly have been in the squad had they been fit although, given Hearts team selection policy these days i.e. dependant on Vladimir Romanov’s mood in Lithuania, it’s difficult to tell if they would have played. It’s also difficult to argue with the feeling that the team that took to the field last week would have been considered Hearts reserve team just a few weeks ago. The all too rapid break up of the team that took Scottish football by storm last season is a sad reflection of the owner’s rules – it’s my ball so play the game my way or not at all. When the Scottish Cup began last November if someone had told me that Hearts would defend their trophy without Steven Pressley, Paul Hartley and Craig Gordon, I would have been concerned. Which made last Saturday’s team selection baffling.
Michal Pospisil and Calum Elliot have barely kicked a ball for Hearts all season. Yet they were considered to be the best strike force to face Dunfermline Athletic. The pair looked out of sorts and there seemed to me to be a distinct lack of cohesion and understanding between them. Last season’s front two partnership – Roman Bednar and Edgaras Jankauskas - were considered only good enough for a place on the substitute’s bench. In the build up to last week’s game, Valdas Ivanauskas was effusive in his praise of Craig Gordon and how Scotland’s best goalkeeper has handled the latest spate of turmoil at Tynecastle with dignity. A sure sign that Ivanauskas had been told by Romanov to drop the Scotland internationalist. As a rumour swept Gorgie that the goalie was being considered for a loan move to Russia, I suspect Craig’s statement that he would only leave Tynecastle on his terms rattled the cage of Vlad. Similarly, the continued absence of Julien Brellier must anger and frustrate the Frenchman. Heartened though he must have been to see the French flag bearing his name at East End Park last week, JB was destined for yet another Saturday afternoon sitting on the bench. How often has the report on the official Hearts website listed the teams at the end with the words Julien Brellier (unused)? Small wonder he’s called Le Judge.
And then there’s Takis Fyssas. What has happened to the Greek full back? Is he injured? It’s hard to tell. He is another who has made only fleeting appearances for Hearts this season. His compatriot who is currently in the team, Christos Karapidis, has struggled and looked well below par - if you’ll pardon the pun - last week (although playing him at right back probably doesn’t help) I wrote in Planet Hearts a few weeks go about the number of players Hearts have out through injury and how the treatment room at Riccarton must be a busy place these days. But surely this makes it all the more imperative that of the players who are available, the best of them make the starting eleven. I’ve heard it mentioned that part of the selection criteria is how well the players perform in training during the week. Neil McCann must be the world’s best trainer because he’s looked a pale imitation of the player whose breathtaking skill lit up the Hearts team of a decade ago. Now I realise ‘Terry’ may have lost a yard or two in pace but he is another who has struggled in recent weeks. It seemed to me that making him Hearts fifth captain of the season last Saturday was not the best idea in the world given that McCann is still coming to terms with his new role in the centre of midfield.
Getting knocked out of the Scottish Cup is always difficult to accept. There will be no trip to Hampden Park this season for the fans who continue to back the team in large numbers (while, across the city followers of the wee team may well have two trips to the National Stadium) What makes it particularly annoying, though, is that Hearts had the players to beat Dunfermline last Saturday.
They just didn’t use them.
Mike Smith, 4 February 2007
Not for the first time this season, Hearts fans took to their seats at rain-lashed Tynecastle last Saturday and took on a bewildered look as Scott Wilson announced the teams. There were nodding winks from many of the home support when Craig Gordon’s name was omitted from the Hearts team (but Hearts officials had clearly told Scott Wilson to emphasise the fact Gordon was out because of injury) and, it has to be said, sighs of disbelief when the name of Jamie Mole was read out as a strike partner for Andrius Velicka. A surprise too when Christos Karipidis was listed and Hearts fans disbelief intensified when we saw the likes of Roman Bednar, Mickey Pospisil and Julien Brellier on the bench. Why wasn’t Valdas Ivanauskas starting with three of his most experienced players? Okay, that’s a rhetorical question even if Vladimir Romanov wasn’t in the country. But I wondered what team Hearts could have had on the field had everyone been fit and the ridiculous squad rotation system hadn't been in place?
Stevie Banks had a fine game in goal and on the odd occasion he has been drafted into the first team, the former Gillingham keeper hasn’t let anyone down. Indeed, I heard the almost surreal shout of Banksie for England being chanted from the Wheatfield Stand last Saturday. But there’s no doubt that Craig Gordon is the number one number one so to speak and the newly appointed club captain would be my - and most other Hearts fans - first choice in goal. In front of him I would pick a back four of Robbie Neilson, Takis Fyssas, Jose Goncalves and Christophe Berra. Only Berra and Fyssas started last week’s game although there’s a justifiable shout for Ibraham Tall to perhaps take Robbie’s position – Tall played well when he was brought on as a substitute last week.
It’s in the middle of the park that arguably Hearts have struggled this season and this is down to the constant chopping and changing of the team. Ironic really because when you look at the squad, Hearts appear to be spoilt for choice in midfield. £850k man Mirsad Beslija has barely kicked a ball in anger since his much-publicised move from Racing Genk a year ago and a shoulder injury has ruled him out for a spell once more. Beslija reminds me of a Scotland player of a few years ago, Kevin Gallagher. Pace, skill but spending much of his time on the treatment table. Julien Brellier was on the bench last week but, inevitably, didn’t get on. While JB has a habit of getting booked just about every time he does make an appearance, I’ve little doubt that when he plays, Paul Hartley plays the way we know PH can play. I think it’s more than a coincidence that the fact Hartley has not been as effective this season as he was last runs alongside the fact that Brellier rarely gets a game these days. Whatever it is that Romanov doesn’t like about the Frenchman even he should see what value his presence brings to the team. Neil McCann has had a more central midfield role recently and it would be interesting to see him and Deividas Cesnauskis in midfield. But, in my view, Bruno Aguiar has to play in the middle of the park, so I would probably put Chesny in ahead of ‘Terry’ but it would be a good selection headache to have – if the Lithuanian and the Scot can avoid injuries at the same time.
Which leaves the striking pair. Andrius Velicka has been a revelation this season and is Hearts top goalscorer. I would like to see him partner Maurico Pinilla with Hartley and Beslija providing the service from midfield. With Roman Bednar and Eddie Jankauskas as able deputies Hearts wouldn’t struggle to score goals – as they have often done this season. I felt Pinilla’s finest performance in a Hearts jersey came at Pittodrie earlier this season when Hearts cantered to a 3-1 win - a result not given the credence it should have given Aberdeen’s push for second place this season.
Of course, every team has injuries and home grown talent such as Jamie Mole, Andy Driver, Calum Elliot and Lee Wallace have all been given their chance in the first team at some point this season. But of the players who didn’t start last Saturday’s game against Falkirk, how’s this for a line-up? Gordon; Neilson; Tall; Goncalves; Wallace; Brellier; Cesnauskis; Beslija; Driver; Pinilla and Jankauskas. And I haven’t included the likes of Pospisil, Barasa or Makela or any of Hearts new signings in the January transfer window.
Given the internal turmoil at Tynecastle this season it’s a credit to the players that Hearts moved into third place in the SPL after their hard fought win over Falkirk last week. Hearts have one of the biggest squads in the league – let’s hope next season sees everyone fit and the boys in maroon can challenge what has been very ordinary Celtic and Rangers teams for the league championship.
Mike Smith, 26 January 2007
Regular readers of this column – both of you – may be aware that I’m not exactly the greatest fan of Jimmy Calderwood. The Bernie Winters look-alike has a mouth to match the size of his waistline and his unwanted and unnecessary comments on things that don’t concern him – Vladimir Romanov’s tenure at Hearts, for example – are a constant source of irritation. But last week I had to agree with the Aberdeen manager whose tirade against Motherwell, the SPL and anyone who got in his way the day after his team salvaged a Scottish cup replay against some diddy team was the orange-faced one in full flow. Calderwood was furious that Motherwell have refused to move their league game with Aberdeen back twenty-four hours following the decision to stage the cup replay on Thursday evening. Motherwell said they weren’t to blame as they asked the SPL before Christmas if the game would be switched but did not receive an answer. The SPL said they were waiting for Aberdeen to approach them and by the time they did Motherwell said it was too late to change corporate hospitality arrangements (you do wonder what constitutes corporate hospitality at Motherwell – a pie, a pint and a stand-up routine from Tam Cowan sounds about as welcome as a visit to the dentist)
The upshot is that Aberdeen, like Hearts gunning for second place in the SPL and that coveted qualifying place in next season’s Champions League, are faced with playing two games in less than forty-eight hours – two games that could shape their season. But the resultant shambles is not to be unexpected from the people who purport to run the game in this country. Instead of taking the lead here and arranging the change in fixture weeks ago, the SPL have followed in the footsteps of the SFA by refusing to take responsibility for anything. It’s another example of the incompetence that blights the running of the game in Scotland – and we’ve not been short of examples recently.
During said Scottish Cup tie, how many of us were somewhat taken aback to find Ivan Sproule take the field for Hibernian at Pittodrie? After all did Ivan the Terrible not get himself sent off during the wee team’s last Scottish Cup tie, namely last season’s Edinburgh derby demolition at Hampden, which Hearts won 4-0 when the Northern Irishman was given a straight red card for stamping on Saulius Mikoliunas? Paul Hartley’s dismissal in the final meant he missed Hearts opening tie in the defence of their trophy at Stranraer. Surely the same had to apply to Sproule? Not so said the SFA. Sproule’s misdemeanour was for violent conduct; therefore his suspension was immediate and served last season. In the SPL. Meaning the poor man’s Wayne Foster was free to open the scoring for the Hibbies at Pittodrie. If a player is shown a straight red card for violent conduct in a cup tie surely the punishment must be severe and, as well an immediate ban from domestic football, a one match ban in the following season’s cup competition must also be part of the punishment? On this basis, one has to assume that, had Hibs won that semi-final, Sproule would have been able to play in the final? Surely that can’t be right? Then again nothing should surprise us about the way the game is run by the collective suits at Hampden Park.
A few weeks ago Forfar Athletic pleaded with the SFL to have their game with Peterhead postponed as they only had eight fit players. Play on insisted the Peter Donald & Co. and The Loons duly lost 8-0. However this caused consternation to bookies everywhere as heavy money was put on Peterhead to win the game and William Hill & co. apparently lost thousands. Subsequently, every request since to have a game postponed due to illness has been approved by the bureaucrats, which must make Forfar officials feel like telephoning Vladimir Romanov and asking for a look at his conspiracy theories.
I couldn’t help but laugh earlier this week when I heard that the SFA had effectively ruled out Craig Levein to become the next Scotland manager. Given the history between the former Hearts boss and the SFA it’s hardly surprising. It’s four years since Levein was fined after making comments about referee Dougie MacDonald’s woeful performance during a Hearts loss at Rugby Park. The big Fifer refused to pay the fine that was doubled and doubled again. Levein knew he was in the right and threatened to take the case to a court of law. Humiliated, the SFA backed down and a compromise was reached. But it emphasised the spineless nature of the men charged with running the game.
Men who, in my opinion, would be hard pressed to organise a drink in a brewery.
Mike Smith, 20 January 2007
Valdas Ivanauskas wasn’t best pleased. In the aftermath of yet another triumph in a Tynecastle Edinburgh derby for the boys in maroon, the Hearts Head Coach was seething the day after the Boxing Day clash. The reason for the big Lithuanian’s ire was not difficult to fathom. He was enraged by comments attributed to his counterpart at Hibernian FC. John Collins had said his team had played all the football, had played some fantastic stuff even when they were down to ten men and had dominated the second half. Hearts, he was quoted as saying, were little better than a pub team. Ivanauskas raged at those comments; the rest of us merely creased in laughter as the Hibernian Comedy Club took its encore after a highly amusing display at Tynecastle. Well, after all it is pantomime season…
Now John Collins is one of the more intelligent men in Scottish football (although quite what he was thinking when he took the Hibs job is another matter) Normally articulate, thoughtful and passionate about the game we all love, the former Scotland player may well have feasted on a suspect turkey on Christmas Day as some of his ramblings twenty four hours later after his team’s 3-2 defeat in Gorgie appeared to me to be the outpouring of someone who had lost all sense of credibility. The game I witnessed saw Hearts well on top at 2-0, admittedly thanks in part to another comic performance from the Hibernian custodian Zibby Malkowski. Many Hibees have not forgotten – or forgiven – the Polish goalkeeper’s error-strewn performance in the Scottish Cup semi-final mauling at Hampden Park last April and many of those of the green persuasion could scarcely believe Malkowski was still playing for Edinburgh’s second team several months on. Hearts fans hadn’t forgotten either and the sarcastic chanting of his name and the ‘Zibby, Zibby, gie us a wave’ directive clearly bemused the keeper who enraged the visiting fans behind his goal in the first half by obliging the home support with a wave. Malkowski’s inexplicable spilling of one the softest free-kicks Paul Hartley will ever strike to enable ‘Eddie’ Jankauskas to open his scoring account for the season was the icing on the cake and, far from dominating the game, there appeared to be no way back for the wee team at that stage.
But it’s to Hibs credit that they did and when they equalised the alarm bells were ringing for the home support. Within minutes, the award of a soft penalty when Barasa nudged Dean Shiels in the penalty box indicated the pendulum was about to swing Hibs way for the first time that afternoon. It swung right back in Hearts direction when young Shiels barged into Craig Gordon after scoring with the penalty kick and rightly received a red card for his trouble. John Collins was outraged at this decision as were several Hibbies but I can’t, for the life of me, understand their dissent. Had Shiels performed this stunt out on Gorgie Road after the game he would have been lifted by Lothian and Border’s finest before you could say ‘jingle bells’.
It’s a long running joke among Hearts supporters that Hibs fans are deluded. This stems from the followers of the wee team insisting that theirs is the team that plays football. Plays a passing game, the beautiful game, and the best football in Scotland. Hey, doesn’t everyone know that it was the Hibs team that toured South America in 1954 that taught the Brazil team of Pele, Jairzinho and Carlos Alberto how to play the game, the result of which was a World Cup triumph in Mexico sixteen years later? Aidan Smith’s excellent book Heartfelt – in which the well-known Hibby journalist spends a season following a proper football team - alludes to Hibs love of the passing game throughout. Now I know why a very good friend of mine never tires of telling me how it has always been Hibernian who have been the flair team of the capital. Such declarations are the stuff of comic genius and it’s obvious that John Collins has been smitten by the hallucination bug that seems to afflict nearly every manager who takes charge at Easter Road (Alex Miller and Bobby Williamson being the notable exceptions) I loved Gary Mackay’s comment on Hearts World last week when he said Collins should be used to losing the Edinburgh derby as he lost plenty when he was a player! Perhaps Hearts fans should be thankful for our neighbours continued delusions of grandeur. It’s been another dramatic season for the JTs but it seems one thing never changes. At the time of writing Hearts are still above Hibernian in the SPL. A Hibernian team that plays such beautiful, silky football with the cream of young Scottish talent (although there were more Scots in the Hearts team on Boxing Day) And if that makes Hearts a pub team it’s worth considering where that leaves Hibernian.
May I wish everyone a belated Happy New Year. And I’ll have another pint over here when you’re ready please Valdas…
Mike Smith, 13 January 2007
It’s been a peculiar start to 2007 for Hearts fans. On the plus side the return of Valdas Ivanauskas appears to have brought much needed stability back to the club and results have improved in the last few weeks. Second place in the SPL is still within reach and last Saturday Hearts began a successful defence of the Scottish Cup, overcoming a potentially tricky tie at Second Division Stranraer. The flip side of the coin, however, is not quite so acceptable. The sight of former Hearts captain and Tynecastle legend Steven Pressley taking to the field in a Celtic shirt on January 2nd stuck in the throat not only of this Hearts fan but, I suspect, thousands of other Jambos throughout the land. The circumstances behind Elvis’ departure have been well documented but it was like a dagger through the heart seeing the great man in the green and white hoops and to hear him talk about the honour of playing for a club like Celtic. As if that weren’t bad enough, the sight of Pressley’s former defensive partner Andy Webster also appearing in Glasgow – gleefully holding a Rangers shirt – was another slap in the face for Hearts fans. ‘Smokey’ has signed for the Ibrox side on loan from English Premiership side Wigan Athletic until the end of the season. I have to confess – and I’m not particularly proud to admit this – I cheered when I read the news last Saturday that Webster was injured during his first training session for Rangers. Initial reports said it was medial ligament damage and that the former Arbroath defender would be out for up to six weeks. The devil in me sneered that the man who snubbed Hearts last season almost deserved that. So one of the best defensive pairings Hearts have ever had are now at opposite ends of the football spectrum in Glasgow. Something that would have been unthinkable less than a year ago. But it’s been a season for the seemingly surreal to materialise as fact…
At the time of writing this article, the word on the street is that both Celtic and Rangers are targeting the Hibernian pair of Scott Brown and Kevin Thomson – who has been stripped of the captaincy of the wee team for daring to criticise the club for rejecting a bid from Charlton Athletic for the pair. What are the chances of both players lining up alongside Derek Riordan and Steven Pressley in the Celtic team that runs out at Tynecastle on Sunday? That would have been the stuff of fantasy a few weeks ago, yet as I write there’s a possibility this may happen. If it did it would make for one helluva atmosphere - some Hearts fans wouldn’t know whom to boo first! But there’s little doubt such a scenario would bring smug grins to those in the media who adore the Old Firm.
Hearts split the Old Firm last season and won the Scottish Cup. The response from Glasgow has been what it always is when the gruesome twosome is threatened – they simply sign the best players from any team that dares to provide decent opposition in Scotland. Hibs fans are in despair at the prospect of losing two of their best players to the Old Squirm. Hearts fans already know how that feels thanks to Messrs. Pressley and Webster. In recent years Hibs lost Kenny Miller (ironically now at Celtic) and Ian Murray to Rangers; a few years ago Hearts saw Neil McCann and eventually Allan Johnston and Paul Ritchie end up in Govan. And yet the media hacks from the west criticise Scottish football for failing to challenge Celtic and Rangers thereby threatening the Glasgow duo’s chances of success in European competition. Things aren’t helped by gormless ramblings from the likes of the BBC’s Chick Young who, last Saturday, reported that Rangers were looking at signing Paul Hartley. Now I’m not saying this isn’t a possibility and by the time you read this PH could be a bluenose. But last week Rangers announced the departure of Paul Le Guen, a situation the bold Chick had recently insisted would never materialise and a story like this breaks every time Hearts are due to face one of the Old Firm. Of course Rangers demise from this season’s Scottish Cup may persuade Hartley to stay with the holders of the trophy…
Under the Romanov Regime Hearts fans have learned to expect the unexpected so nothing surprises us any more. But thus far season 2006/07 has been almost surreal and not only by the goings-on at Tynecastle. Nothing would give me more pleasure at the end of the campaign than to see Hearts yet again split the Old Firm and secure a place in the qualifiers for the UEFA Champions League for the second successive season. Even with Pressley and Webster already gone and Hartley and Craig Gordon looking unlikely to be around for much longer, it’s still a possibility. And how satisfying would that be to Hearts fans everywhere?
Mike Smith, 12 January 2007
Last September, I wrote in Planet Hearts about my disdain for Aberdeen having spent several years in the Granite City and suffered the arrogance of Dons fans who were at their most unbearable when their club was winning everything in sight in the early 1980s. So when the SPL fixture list arranged for both Aberdeen and Hibernian to visit Tynecastle in the run-up to and immediate aftermath of Christmas 2006 I expected my adrenalin to be pumping, my anticipation feverish and my expectation of six points to be the perfect Christmas present. It didn’t quite work out that way. Not just because Aberdeen sneaked away from Gorgie with a 1-0 win to put daylight between them and Edinburgh’s finest. But, alarmingly, because the passion I have felt for Heart of Midlothian FC for nearly forty years wasn’t as intense as my friends and family have come to expect. And that has caused me much soul-searching over the festive period.
I didn’t go to the Aberdeen game. I had taken ill the evening before the game, some kind of viral infection that had affected other members of my family including my daughter and eighteen month old grandson. Nothing unusual in that you might say. Except that normally there has to be exceptional circumstances why I won’t go to Tynecastle. I can think of only two other occasions I’ve missed a Hearts home game in sixteen years. And one of those was when my father died suddenly three days before a Hearts-Hibs game and I chose to miss Neil McCann’s winning goal in March 1997 (although I have to confess I very nearly opted to go to the game reasoning that it’s what my father would have wanted - only the anguish of my stepmother persuaded me otherwise) But the week before Christmas 2006, on the morning of Saturday December 16th I decided to ‘throw a sickie’. Had I been feeling well enough I would have gone but as I lay in bed preparing to throw up when Ceefax flashed on screen Hearts 0 Aberdeen 1 S. Lovell 87, I knew I really should have been there. I have felt worse before but still gone to give my undying support to the mighty JTs. And then I asked myself something I never thought I would ask – is my support for Hearts no longer undying? Has all the shenanigans of the past few months taken their toll? Just when Hearts look like achieving greatness something – or someone – takes the dream away. Messrs. Burley, Webster, Skacel and, most shamefully of all, Steven Pressley have all been shown an ignominious exit by Vladimir Romanov.
Nick Hornby’s excellent book Fever Pitch describes how a football fan’s relationship with their team can be stronger than that of their marriage, the reasoning being that you may be blissfully happy with your partner at present but there could be no guarantee this would still be the case ten years on. On the other hand you can bet your life you will still be following your football team. But with both the games against Aberdeen and Hibernian, I didn’t feel the passion, the excitement, the anticipation. The build up to the Hibs game in particular was practically non-existent in our house. The game was scarcely mentioned until Boxing Day morning when in years gone by it would have been the main topic of conversation over turkey on Christmas Day. And now I find myself asking why?
Following Hearts hasn’t just been part of my life since the late 1960s. It has been my life, much to the dismay of the infamous Mrs Smith who has long since conceded her welfare takes second place to a Hearts game. She knows that in the near twenty-five years we’ve been married my mood at the weekend is almost entirely dependant on the Hearts result. Until now it seems. Something has gone. Vladimir Romanov may have saved Hearts from the last rites but he has turned the club into a circus, the butt of jokes around the country, the script for a Whitehall farce that a man named Rix would have been proud of (Brian of that ilk, not Graham) I last felt this way just before I got married in 1982 although this had more to do with witnessing Hearts lose at home to East Stirling in the First Division than impeding nuptials to a domineering Canadian. But back then we all felt things couldn’t get much worse. Wallace Mercer knew the importance of credibility to a football institution and did all in his power to ensure Hearts returned to the top table of Scottish football. Now, I’m not so sure of the motives of Hearts present owner. I fear for Heart of Midlothian FC as much now as I did a quarter of a century ago; only now I’m desperately trying to convince myself that I still care as passionately as I did back then.
Perhaps my passion for Hearts will intensify once more when stability returns to Tynecastle; when Hearts legends aren’t treated with disdain; when a Head Coach is given the whole season to try and achieve success; when players aren’t subject to a ridiculous rotation system - and when the fans are treated with a modicum of respect.
When once again I can say I’m proud to be a Hearts supporter…
Mike Smith, 1 January 2007
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