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The Madness of Dragon City

By SilverDragon

Origionally posted here: The Madness of Dragon City

THE MADNESS OF DRAGON CITY!
A fanfic of insanity by SilverDragon

SCENE 1

WORD PAYNNS TOWER OF EVILNESS
Moordryd: OK, father, you summoned me here. AGAIN. Like you do all the time. Now what?
Word: Look, my son-
M: Would it hurt to use my REAL NAME?!
W: Um, yes, because the writer has an electric cattle prod to keep us canon characters in line. Mary-Sues and such are so prolific right now.
Mary-Sue: Word, I am your lost daughter!
W: Fat chance, Mary-Sue. (pulls out bazooka and blows her away)
Mary-Sue: My past is troubled... (falls into the depths of Dragon City)
W: NOW (goes back to original conversation) Look, dammit! (Moordryd looks, dammit) I found this ancient black draconium gear. It can drive people insane, like THAT (snaps finger claws)
M: How does it do that?
W: Screw the method, one zap and that Dragon Booster will be gibbering away like Bob Geldof about poverty, and I don’t know who Bob Geldof IS, so…
M: (takes gear, grins) This could be fun… (leaves)
W: I wonder if those foolish people on those Dragon Booster boards know that I know that that blue and red dragon is the gold dragon of legend in disguise? Nah…
Forum Posters: HEY!!! >:(
Word: (electric cattle prodded)

DESERTED ALLEY No 2957
Artha: Woo, I won the race!
Kitt: Again…
Lance: Artha, is your last name Sue?
Artha: No…
Lance: Oh, I thought it was.
Sarah Frost: (leans in) It would fit in with your character, your speshulness. (leans out)
Beau: OMG LOK IT IS AN INTELIEGNT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!
Other dragons: WTF
Parm’s mobile: (Crazy Frog ring-tone)
Crew: (looks at Parm with WTF in their eyes)
Parm: (goes red)
Cyrano: O NO ITS TAHT ANOYNG RNG2NE!!!! OMG WTF LOL HOW CUD U PARM??!!!? OMG WTF
Dragon Eyes Who Are Just About To Attack: (holds ears and scream blue murder)
Artha: Oh No Dragon Eyes! (releases the dragon)
Moordryd: HA! I knew you were the dragon booster!
DB: How did you figure it out?
Moordryd: I haven’t been trawling the DB boards for NOTHING, y’know.
Everyone: Oh.
Dragons: O
Moordryd: Lost some marbles?
DB: As it happens, yes.
Beau: I LOST MAH GREN MARBL3 ONC3!!!!!! LOL TAHT SUK3D!!!!!!! OMG
Moordryd: (activates black gear of speshulness) Here they are!!!
Black gear: ZAP
Energy Stream: (deflects off Artha)
DB board people: (chanting) MARY-SUE! MARY-SUE!

WORD’S EVIL TOWER THINGY
Word: Sweet!
Electric Cattle Prod: BZZT
Word: Oh, I mean, aw damn, it deflected.
Stream O’ Black Energy: (comes in through screen, hits Word) ZAP!!!!!!
Abandonn: O NO!!!!!!!! OMG WTF LOL WORD1!!11 SAY SOMETHNG!!!!!!!! LOL
Word: (recovers)
Abandonn: YAY
Word: …Hello, Mr Bean.
Abandonn: ????????

 Scene 2: Uh Oh

WORDS TOWER OF EVILNESS!!!
Word: (gibbers away like a maniac)
Moordryd: How?! My father is a gibering crazy guy! Well, he always WAS one, so no difference there. But HOW did that black gear energy affect HIM? When he was so far away?

STREET
Passerby: (falls in plot hole) AAAARGH!

WORDS EVIL TOWER THINGY!!!!!
Word: TULIP!
DB: Even though he's my arch enemy, we must restore his sanity!
Lance: And why should we do that?
DB: Otherwise we won't have a villain!
Armageddon: YOU HAVE ME
Moordryd: Oh shut up.
Parm: I know of a place where they can do just that.
Moordryd: What, shut this blasted amulet up?
Parm: No...Get Words sanity.
Everyone: WHERE WHERE WHERE?!
Dragons: WHERA WH3RE WHERE??!?!!!!!!!!! LOL
Lance: I suggest eBay.
DB: Yeah, but it costs a zillion drakkals. I know. How else could we get enough money for that truck in 'Prophets motive'?
Parm: GAH! Isn't there ANYONE in this whole thing that has some sanity?
Word: FROG
Parm: (faints)
P/K shippers: OMG signs of love!!!!
Kitt: CAN I HAVE A SPEAKING PART?!
Everyone: (shuts up)
Kitt: In this really ancient generic temple thingy, I think we can find ancient gold gear that does the opposite of what the black gear did.
Dragons: HURAH!111 LOL
Kitt: Unfortunately, it's guarded by really evil monsters.
Moordryd: Well, DUH.
DB: Lets go, team!

 

Scene Three

Undercity!
Artha: Is it just me, or are all ancient temple thingies in the deserted Undercity?
Kitt: No, it's just that if we showed ANY sort of religion in the show we'd be roasted by fundamentalists.
Parm: I think there's a deeper reason than that...

Street
Passerby: (crawls out of plot-hole) Whew, am I glad I got out of tha- (falls in another plot-hole) Aaaah!

Undercity!
Moordryd: Well, look at that. We haven’t been in here for five minutes and we found the lost temple of--well, whatever, let's go in!
Kitt: Wait! Isn't there supposed to be really evil creatures around here to give us enough of a challenge to fill up a good bit of a half-hour?
Lance: What would you know? You're a girl!
Kitt: (wrestles cattle prod off author)
Author: Hey!
Cattle Prod: (zaps Lance)
Lance: Aaargh!
Fracshun: LOL
Kitt: (mumbles about sexism)
Artha: Well, are we going in or what? REALEASE THE DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beau: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Other Dragons: (roll about laughing) HAHAHAHAHA TAHT WAS SO SILY IT WAS FUNY!!!!! OMG WTF
Kitt: Lance, you're the Mini-Mortis here, tell us why there are random square metal wheeled things around here?
Lance: (Mortis theme tune plays in the background) I dunno. (Record scratching noise, and Mortis Theme Tune stops abruptly)
Cars: (shake, and electricity arcs around)
AL boarders: This looks familiar...
Kitt: I told you so! I told you so! You didn't listen, but I told you so! This is the big monster that guards the temple!
Everyone: (screams) AAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
Dragons: (scream) AAAAAAARRRGH!!!!!!! OMG
Guy on wheels with a claw for one hand: Raaaargh!!!!

Meanwhile
BBC legal person: I think we have enough evidence to file a case against him, sir.
Head of BBC: Oh, jolly good sir.

 

Scene Four

THE UNDERCITY
Lance: Wait a sec, I know who that guy is!
Cyborg guy on wheels: You know my name, weakling?
Lance: Yeah, it's Random Virus.
Cyborg guy-oh sorry, Random Virus: *run program: killallweaklingsandcowards.exe* Get out of my junkyard, puny weaklings, or I'll crush your head like an eggshell!
DB: You have a serious attitude problem, y'know?
Random Virus: Shut up, coward!
DB: (cringes)
Moordryd: Well, stable-sue, gonna fight the big robot guy?
DB: (wets pants)
Moordryd: (sighs) Oh, for Magna Draconis' sake... (charges)
Random Virus: *run program: smackdown.exe* (lays the smack-down on Moordryd and Decepshun)
Moordryd: (flies a long way onto the ground behind him)
Decepshun: OW TAHT RILLY HURT!!!!! OMG LOL DONT U THINK BFORA U DO MORDRYD?!??!? OMG WTF
Random Virus: *run program: rage.exe* GRRAAAAAHHH!!!!
Ace Lightning: (swoops down) Not so fast, Random Virus!
Ace fans: Crossover! Yay!
Random Virus: *run program: allyourbase.exe* You have no chance to survive make your time. Graah.
Ace: Listen to me Random. You are a Lightning Knight. You are GOOD. You are-
DB: What relation does this entire conversation have to me?
Ace: None, so quiet, you.
Random Virus: *run program: headasplode.exe* (explodes)
DB: Yay, now we can focus on ME again!
Ace: *run program: killbill.exe*
Onlookers: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Libris: RAAAAAAH!
Mari: Yay!
Kitt: Oh no, it's Libris. And he looks really angry.
DB: RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: (runs like the Furox is after them into the temple)
Ace: I'm getting out of here! (flies off) Even I know when to back off...
Random Virus: Raaargh!
Libris: Raargh! (fights Random)

TEMPLE OF DOOM!
Parm: Whew, am I glad Libris showed up to prevent this becoming Ace Lightning centered.
Moordryd: And now we have a clear run to the weird machine in this temple!
Mysterious girl's voice: (laughs) I don't think so, dragon riders.
Lights: (go up)
Mysterious person: Prepare for trouble!
Mysterious person #2: Make it double!
Lance: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dragons: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! OMG

 

Scene Five

TEMPLE OF DOOM!!!!
TR: (recites motto)
To protect the world from devastation!
To unite all peoples within our nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love!
To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Jessie: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth: Meowth, that's right!
Wobbuffet: WAAAABBUFFET!
Chimecho: Chime!
Moordryd: You guys are worse than my father!
James: Eh?
Moordryd: All my father does all day is wander around, making plots that never succeed and cackling manically. You guys are nearly the same!
Jessie: How dare you compare us to that man!
James: Yeah! His plans fail 99.9% of the time, while OURS fail 100% of the time.
DB: Is that a bad thing?
Meowth: He doesn't have a talking cat either! By the way, any of youse have a Pikachu?
Db characters: (look confused)
Jessie: Ooh, look at that cute lizard!
Fracshun: Eh?
Jessie: I want that blue lizard! Go, Seviper! (releases Seviper)
James: Go, Cacnea! (releases Cacnea)
Seviper: (bites Beau)
Beau: WROAR!
Jessie: Oops.
Beau: (mag-blasts TR out the roof)
TR: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!! (ding)
Parm: I'm guessing there'll be traps in the temple. Careful!
Cyrano (steps on tile)
Tile: (click)
Parm: Oooooops.
Voice: RELEASE THE FROGS OF WAR
Lance: Did he just say frogs?
Kitt: Look out, newts!!!
Parm: Newts aren't frogs!
Swarm Of Newts: Raaaar!
Moordryd: (filming newts) Oh, I'll HAVE to VIDDmail Cain this >:D.
Kereea: Ahahahahahaha! Welcome to my domain, fools!
Giant newt that Kereea is riding on: Raaar!

KEREEA'S LAIR!!!!
Parm: This looks bad. Very bad.
Kereea: And so you should think, puny fool!!!
DB: [insert emotional flaw here]
Kitt: Oh, this is bad. Our 'only' chance of getting us out has found another flaw in his personality! (screams)
Kereea: (sighs) Considering the oh-so-speshul hero-boy is now going over yet ANOTHER emotional flaw, I'll let you out, but ONLY if you can answer three fiendishly difficult and evil questions! Bwahahahahahhahaha!!!!
Kitt: And if we lose?
Kereea: I feed you to the newts, k?
Kitt: What do newts eat, anyway?
Parm: Judging by their metabolism, size and physiology, I'd say they're insectivorous.
Everyone: Eh?
Parm: (sigh) They eat insects!!
Kereea: Ah, but these are a kind of newt that eats meat! Hahahahahahaha!!
Newt: (bares sizable fangs)
Cyrano: EEEK!111 A NEWT
!1!1 OMG
Kereea: On with the show! First question: What is the time?
Kitt: Uh oh. does anyone have some kind of watch or time keeping device?
Moordryd: No.
Parm: No temporal oscillation recording device on me.
Lance: Nope.
DB: (emotional flaw)
Newts: (lick lips)
Parm: Oh no! We're going to be eaten by the smallest creatures in Dragon City! AAAH!
Lance: Wait, I know what time it is!
Kereea: What is it, mortal?
Lance: (suddenly possessed) IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
Kereea: Dammit, you're right! Second question: What is the meaning of life?
Parm: Dang.
Moordryd: (does sums to keep his sanity) 6x7=42...
Kereea: Gaaah, right again!!! Last question! This is so devilishly hard you will never get it!!!!!!!!
Lance: Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly!
Kitt: Bring it on, newt-girl!
Kereea: What do I like to do?
Moordryd: Uh oh.
Kitt: We're dead.
Parm: (thinks away)
Kereea: Times UP!!! Into the pit of newts you go!!!!!!
Wyldfyr: Wait!!!!
Kitt: You can talk?!
Wyldfyr: 'Course I can.
Kitt: You have a Cockney accent?!
Wyldfyr: Can't help it, guv. Now, get off your dragons.
Parm: Why?
Wyldfyr: You'll see.
Humans: (dismount their dragons)
DB: (gets over emotional flaw) Hey, why are you off your---
Beau: (tilts Artha off)
DB: Aargh! (whumph!)
Wyldfyr: (sings) I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it. You like to...
Dragons: MOVE IT!!!!
Kereea: Dang! You have earned your freedom! Now go, before I change my mind!
Everyone: (runs like the Furox is after them)

 

Scene 6

DRAGON EYES BASE
Cain: Ooh, a VIDDmail from Moordryd! (opens it)
VIDDmail: Raaar!
Cain: (screams hysterically) AAAAAAH!!! NEWTS!!!!!!

TEMPLE OF DOOM! DOOM I TELLS YA!!!
Parm: We've been going this way for hours! And it's the correct one according to my calculations...
Cyrano: Parm ye daftie.
Wyldfyr: 'avn't choo 'eard? It's over there.
Parm: (turns red) Oh...
Beau: Don't you know dragons are more intelligent than humans, eh?
Fracshun: (points at DB) 'Specially this one.
Everyone: (turns towards the right way)

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER-THE INNER SANCTUM
Moordryd: Look! (points at ancient gear on podium in the middle of the room)
Decepshun: I say, doesn't that look like a potato?
Cyrano: Potaters? Where?
Kitt: (sigh) I'm still not used to the dragons talking.
Wyldfyr: Don't worry yer little 'ead orf. You get used to it.
Decepshun: While you lot are blabbering your heads off, I'm going to get that potato gear.
Moordryd: I'll get it for you.
Decepshun: I say, what a totally spiffing idea!
Moordryd: (goes over to the podium) Hey...
Beau: Eh?
Moordryd: There's an inscription on the podium. It's in no language I've ever seen.
DB: Can you read it?
Moordryd: OK. Um...

Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu! R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
Lance: That was weird.
Ominous rumble: (ominously rumbles)
DB: I have an idea!
Fracshun: By crikey, tell us! The place is falling down!!
DB: This way! RUN!!!
Decepshun: Jolly good idea!
Everyone: (runs)

OUTSIDE
Everyone: (escapes in the nick of time)
Temple: (collapses into rubble)
Kereea: Ahahahahaha! Now to start my reign of terror...on the dance floor! Come on, newts!
Kereea and the newts: I like to move it move it... (move it move its into the distance)
Moordryd: At least we have the gear! (ding)
DB: Let's move!

MEANWHILE, IN THE DEPTHS OF THE UNDERCITY
Cthulhu: (awakens) Urrrgh...

 

Scene 7

WORD PAYNNS TOWER OF BLATANT EVILNESS!!!
Moordryd: Hope this works.
Decepshun: I think it would a jolly good idea if the rest of you pushed off.
Cyrano: Why? (note: pronounce the wuh sound as hwuh=Hwy? It's his accent)
Moordryd: Look, do you really want to be here when my father gets normal again?
Parm: Good point.
Everyone: (leaves)
Decepshun: You too!
Beau/Decepshun shippers: (reluctantly leave)
Moordryd: Now...
Potato gear: Zap!
Word: Urrgh...what happened? I was dreaming about skeletons with laser sticks attacking flying men who shot electricity...
Moordryd: Father, it's OK, nothing happened.
Word: Oh good. Now, I'm going to plot against the Dragon Booster. And I have some new helpers too.
Moordryd: Who are they?
Voice: Hahahahahahaha? Thought you'd forgotten about us, eh, Moordryd?
Voice: Prepare for trouble!
Voice #2: Make it double!
Moordryd and Decepshun: NOOOOO!

NEAR PENN STABLES
Artha: Gee, that was a tough one, wasn't it?
Kitt: I'll say. Nothing like that has happened since 'The Wraith Booster'!!!
Distant people: (scream)
Kitt: Hey, anyone wondering why people are screaming?
Fracshun: Nah. (spots something) Ooh look, a croc! (leaps)
Lance: FRACSHUN!! NOOO!
Fracshun: (wrestles croc) By crikey, he's fightin'!
LightningFlash: (strangles author)
SilverDragon: Urrk....Help....Me...

DRAGON TEMPLE
Artha: Whaddya I tell you, Mortis? We got through safe and sound, AND we now have a villain to contend with who ISN'T some sort of possessed amulet!
Mortis: You released Cthulhu, didn't you?
Parm: Well, Moordryd DID read out some ancient text thingy...
Lance: Who's this Cthulhu guy, anyway?
Mortis: (Mortis theme tune plays) Cthulhu (alternate spellings: Tulu, Cthulu, Ktulu, and many others) is a fictional character in the Cthulhu mythos of H.P. Lovecraft. Cthulhu often includes the title Great or Dread. He is a monster from man kind’s deepest fears, and also will drive you insane if you fight him. (boops up VIDDscreen)
Cthulhu: Graaaah!!! (destroys stuff)
Lance: He looks like an octopus.
Artha: Well, let's save the city! Release th-
Kitt: Wait! If you fight him, you will be driven insane!
Artha: Oh, you're right.
Fracshun: Wait, mate, I have an idea...

 

THE MADNESS OF DRAGON CITY SPECIAL EPISODE!!!

In AD 2101

Dragon-human war was was beginning.
Artha: What happen?
Parm: Someone set us up the flash grenade.
Kitt: We get signal.
Artha: What?
Kitt: VIDDscreen turn on.
Artha: It's YOU!!
Word: How are you gentlemen?
Word: All your gold dragon of legend are belong to us.
Word: You are on the way to destruction.
Artha: What you say?
Word: You have no chance to fulfill the prophecy make your time.
Word: Ha ha ha ha...
Artha: Take off every dragon!
Artha: You know what you're doing!
Artha: Release the dragon!
Artha: For great justice.

SPECIAL EPISODE ENDS HERE. WE NOW RESUME TRANSMISSION AS NORMAL
Kitt: Or whatever 'normal' is in this story.

WHAT USED TO BE A PART OF MID CITY BEFORE CTHULHU ARRIVED
Artha: AAAAAHHH! He's terrifying!!!
Kitt: Whaddya think?! He's a giant mutant squid thingy! All fear him!
Fracshun: Not me. Now, Lance, get off.
Lance: (gets off) Now what are you going to do?
Fracshun: (scoots towards Cthulhu) Oi, ya big lug!
Cthluhu: ?
Fracshun: Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU, you overgrown squid!
Cthulhu: Oh, you're in for it now, reptile. (attacks)
Fracshun: (leaps on Cthulhu) By crikey, he's strugglin'!! Crikey, 'es a tough un'!
LightningFlash: (looks for author with a pump-action shotgun)
Author/SilverDragon: (hides)
Cthulhu: Gerroff me!
Fracshun: (gerroffs him)
Cthulhu: I've had enough! I'm already wrestled enough in another %&#$^ing online story! I'm going off to terrorize those Earthlings on another planet... (wanders off)
Author: (beats self around head for turning an epic battle into a cop-out)
Kitt: Well, all's well that ends well, eh guys?
Lance: Lookie, flying saucers!
Flying saucers: (fly over city)
People: (scream)
Flying Saucer: (hovers over our heroes)
Parm: Uh oh.
Metallic voice: I-DEN-TI-FY YOUR-SELF. YOU ARE THE DOC-TOR?
Parm: I'm A doctor.
Flying saucer: (opens up)
Dalek: (comes out) YOU ARE THE ENE-MY OF THE DAL-EKS! YOU MUST BE EX-TER-MIN-ATE-ED!

DALEK SPACESHIP

Dalek: (prods with evil toilet plunger of doom) MOVE
Kereea and the newts: (sings) I like to move it, move it...
Dalek: OH SHUT UP WILL YOU?

CENTRE OF DALEK SPACESHIP
Dalek: YOU WILL NOW BOW BE-FORE OUR EM-PE-ROR
Everyone: (bows)
Dalek Emperor: (swings around) Welcome to my kingdom, humans!
Artha: Hey, that voice sounds familiar (looks up)
Dalek: OI, DON'T DO THAT.
Artha: It's YOU!
Dalek Emperor: How are you gentlemen? All your-whatever. It's me.
Kitt: (also looks up) Skylii?
Skylii: Yes, it's me!
Kitt: Skylii! So YOU'RE the one behind all our nonsensical adventures, the plot-holes, the random culture references, and the bad puns!
Skylii: You forgot Napoleon, Star Trek, the Nigerian Finance Office, and spam emails.
Kitt: Those too. But WHY exactly are you doing this?!
Skylii: Revenge! I was the central elder god in H. P. Lovecraft's novels! I'm the one who fools around with peoples lives the most! But do I get the attention? No, it's that %$@)ing octopus Cthulhu! So I wait, until a fanfic writer appears who's stupid enough-
Author: Hey!
Skylii: -to attempt to tap into my powers. And then, I could come back through his works of fanfiction! Hahahahahaha!!!
Kitt: Reasonable enough (glares at Artha and writers who reduce her to handbag accessory) but what exactly are you the elder goddess OF?
Skylii: Randomness. Duh. Look at my title. (points) 'Randiomity at its high. Beware...' See?!
Parm: As a matter of fact, it actually says '/\ Our mascot of our treasured nerdism /\'
Skylii: o_O Ah, screw that! The final part of my plan to rule Dragon City is in place! I shall set it in motion!! (waves hands) HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! NO-ONE CAN STOP ME NOW!!!!

ELSEWHERE
Googler: HaHaHaHaHaHa!!! It'S gOoGlErIsAtIoN tImE!
People: AAAAHHH!!!!

Trogdor: (burninates)
People: AAAAAAH!!!

King Kong: (fights Godzilla)
Godzilla: (fights King Kong)
People: AAAAAHHH!!!!!

Crazy Frog: A ding ding ding ding dididing ding bing bing pscht,
Dorhrm bom bom bedom bem bom bedom bom bum ba ba bom bom,
Bouuuuum bom bom bedahm, Bom be barbedarm bedabedabedabeda
Bbrrrrrimm bbrrrrramm bbbrrrrrrrrraammmmm ddddddraammm,
Bah bah baah baah ba wheeeeeee-eeeee-eeeee!
People: AAAAAHHH!!!
Person: Haven't I done this before?

Passerby: (gets out of plothole, sees the giant killer penguin of DOOM, jumps back in plothole)

DALEK SPACESHIP
Skylii: HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm INVICIBLE!!!!
Fracshun: Ya big lug.
Skylii: NOTHING can stop ME!!!!
SuperBlah: Aha!
Skylii: Who are YOU?
SuperBlah: I'm SuperBlah, and I'm here to stop you!
Skylii: No you're not. There's a big meteor about to crash into a planet full of sentient lifeforms!
SuperBlah: Oh, really? (shoots off)

OVER PLANET ZEPTRON
SuperBlah: (zooms up) Halt, evil meteor! I command you!
Meteor: (plows on regardless)
SuperBlah: (hit by meteor) Ow.
Meteor: (hits planet Zeptron)
Planet Zeptron: (breaks into millions of pieces)
Homer: D'OH!

DALEK SPACESHIP
Sylii: HAHAHAHAHA!!! (notices someone) Who are YOU?!
Zeeky H. Bomb: Uh..Zeeky Boogy Doog! (explodes)
Explosion: BAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!

DRAGON CITY
Beau: Hey, we surived! We did it, eh?
Artha: Yeah, we did.
Parm: What I want to know is: how did we survive the explosion?
Artha: Parm, my friend, some things are better left unexplained.

STREET
Passerby: (climbs out of plot hole) Whew, am I glad that's all over. Now I can finally go- (falls in plot hole) AAAAAAHHHH!!!! (splat!) I need some Kleenex... urk.

DRAGON CITY
Artha: C'mon, guys, let's go home. It's been a long day.
Disembodied voice of Skylii: I'll get you next time Gadget...I mean Dragon Booster!!
Lance: Did anyone hear anything?
Artha: Nope.
Parm: No.
Kitt: No.
Beau: No, eh?
Wyldfyr: No, guv, 'fraid not.
Cyrano: I didn't hear a thing, to be sure.
Fracshun: Nope, didn't hear anything, mate.
Lance: Oh, well.

THE END!!!
Or is it?
Kitt: Hey, there are people on that roof!
Voices: Hahahahahahhaha!!!
Jessie: Prepare for trouble!
James: Make it double!!!
Everyone (but TR): NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

OUTAKES
Dalek: (prods with evil toilet plunger of doom) MOVE
Dalek 2: HOW'S IT GO-ING?
Dalek: BAD-LY. THE TOI-LETS STILL STUCK
Artha: Urgh...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kereea: OK. What do I like to do?
Kitt: Sing?
Kereea: Close. It's a specific song I like to do.
Lance: I've got a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I've got a song that'll get on your nerves, and it goes something like this: I've got a song...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Artha: RELEASE THE DRAGON!!!!!
Moordryd: Are you aware that looks extremly goofy? (snickers)
Dragon Booster: (whacks Moordryd off Decepshun) I find your lack of dragon...disturbing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Artha: RELEASE THE DRAGON!!!!!
Moordryd: Are you aware that looks extremly goofy? (snickers)
Dragon Booster: (whacks Moordryd off Decepshun) I find your lack of Mary Sue...disturbing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cthulhu: (awakens) Urrrgh...hangovers are BAD, kids.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moordryd: Look, do you really want to be here when my father gets normal again?
Parm: Good point.
Everyone: (leaves)
Decepshun: You too!
U2: You mean us?
Decepshun: Not you lot, I meant those people!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mortis: (Mortis theme tune plays) Cthulhu (alternate spellings: Tulu, Cthulu, Ktulu, and many others) is a fictional character in the Cthulhu mythos of H.P. Lovecraft. Cthulhu often includes the title Great or Dread. He is a monster from mankinds deepest fears, and also will drive you insane if you fight him. (boops up VIDDscreen)
VIDDscreen: (crashes)
Mortis: Magna Draconis I hate Windows.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Metallic voice: I-DEN-TI-FY YOUR-SELF. YOU ARE THE DOC-TOR?
Parm: I'm A doctor.
Flying saucer: (opens up)
Dalek: (comes out) CAN I HAVE YOUR AUT-O-GRAPH?
Parm: Sure! (signs photo)
Dalek: LOOK, YOU LOT! I GOT PARMS AUT-O-GRAPH! ISN'T THAT KEWL?
Daleks: SQUEE!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Parm: No...Get Words sanity.
Everyone: WHERE WHERE WHERE?!
Dragons: WHERA WH3RE WHERE??!?!!!1111!1 LOL
Lance: I suggest eBay.
DB: Yeah, but it costs a zillion dracals. I know. How else could we get enough money for that truck in 'Prophets motive'?
Beau: You auctioned my gear, didn't you?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moordryd: Lost some marbles?
Fangirls: There he is!!!!!!
Moordryd: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! (runs)
Fangirls: (chase after him) WE LOVE YOU MOORDRYD!!!!! SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The Madness of Dragon City 2: When Fandoms Collide

 

By SilverDragon

Origionally posted here: The Madness of Dragon City 2: When Fandoms Collide

THE MADNESS OF DRAGON CITY 2: WHEN FANDOMS COLLIDE

TOWER OF RANDOMNESS
Skylii: Curses! My plan for taking over and randomizing the world have failed! Miserably! And all due to that Dragon Booster!
Parm, Kitt, Lance and their Dragons: We did too!
Skylii: OK, you defeated me too. But I haven’t been sitting on my random throne plotting here for a few months you know...BRIGHTCLAW!!!
Brightclaw: (comes running) Yes, master?
Skylii: (eyes narrow) Bring me Soo-Thor...

ALLEYWAY IN DRAGON CITY
Woman: (creeps along)
Shadow: (looms up on the wall)
Woman: (screams) No! No! You can't possibly do this!
Shadowing Thing: A ding ding ding ding dididing -
Woman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

PENN STABLES
Artha: (relaxes) Aah, it's great not to be dealing with any randomness like we did back in that other fanfic...
Fourth Wall: (breaks)
Lance: Anyone hear a tinkling sound?
Cyrano: To be sure, I didn't hear a thing.
Shadow: (drifts over the stable)
Parm: What the-
Kitt: It's a balloon!
Voice: Prepare for trouble!
Voice #2: Make it double!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Artha: And I was supposed to be on holiday...

REALM OF DEATH
Head Death: Sit down, Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs.
DoIOF: (sits down)
Head Death: Insanely Overpowered Fireballs, we've noticed that not many people outside of role-playing games have died of insanely overpowered fireballs. So we're demoting you to Death Of Being Serenaded by the Crazy Frog.
Death of-oh, I give up: NOOOO!!!!!!

PENN STABLES
Team Rocket: Team Rocket's blasting off agaiiiinnn...(ding!)
Artha: Well, I'm glad that's over.
People in the distance: (scream)
Kitt: There's trouble over there!
Artha: Well, I'm the hero in this story, so I should check it out. RELEASE THE DRAGON!!!
Kitt: (holds head in hands) Here we go again...

ALLEYWAY
Artha: This is where the screaming came from!
Lance: I'm scared.
Fracshun: Me too, mate.
Parm: (panics) Look!!!
Shadow: (looms)
Artha: Careful! We're about to find out what all the fuss is about!
Shadow: A ding ding ding-
Kitt: IT'S THE CRAZY FROG!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH!
Humans: (scream)
Cyrano: Oh for the love of-(stomps on Crazy Frog)
Crazy Frog: (is squished and forever silenced)
British Public: (cheer)
Artha: Thanks, Cyrano!
Cyrano: No problem!

DIMMSDALE
Timmy Turner: Aw man! Crocker's given me an assignment on the biology of dragons! And we all know well that dragons are much rarer than they used to be owing to knights! Gah!
Cosmo: Well, you could always wish up a dragon to study!
Wanda: Cosmo, should you be putting such ideas in his head?
Cosmo: Why not? There aren't any in mine!
Timmy: That's a GREAT idea! I wish that there were dragons in the world! Or, at least my room.
Cosmo and Wanda: (hold their wands up and go ding)
Wanda: I can see where this is going...

DRAGON CITY
The heroes: (vanish)

TIMMYS BEDROOM
The Heroes: (appear)
Artha: Where are w-(notices hand) AAAAAAH!!! I'M 2-D!!!! NOOO!!!!

 

 Scene 2

TIMMYS BEDROOM
Timmy: Uh, guys...I don't think those are dragons.
Wanda: They're a different TYPE of dragon. When you wished for dragons, our magic scanned the universe for anything like a dragon, and, well, here we are.
Cosmo: (plays rock song) TRROOOOOOOGDOOOOOOOORRR!!!!!
Timmy: (suddenly realizes) Wait, they've seen you...doesn't that mean you have to go away?
Wanda: Yeah, but we'ver wished up beings that have seen us, and WE haven’t had to go away.
Cosmo: And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHT!!!!!
Artha: Hey, any chance of getting us out of here?
Kitt: Yeah, being 2-D is really creeping me out.
Shadow: (descends)
Wyldfyr: Oh no...
Voice: Oh yes! Prepare for trouble!
Voice #2: Make it double!!!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1!
Narrator: But while the heroes were screaming in disbelief, they were wondering: How had their supreme enemies followed them through time and space?

SOMEWHERE ELSE IN DIMMSDALE
Mr. Crocker: (falls in plot-hole) AAAAHHHH!!!!! (hits bottom) The existence of this hole in the narrative can only prove one thing...the existence of (spazzes out) FAIRY GOD PARENTS!!!!!!!!! Ouch, I should really learn to stop go spazzy while in a small space.

TIMMYS HOUSE
Jessie: You meddling brats! You foiled our master plans!
Lance: Master plans?!
James: Um...
Jessie: But that doesn't matter now! We will capture the little lizard for ourselves.
Fracshun: Why?
Jessie: Because you're soooooooooooooo cute!!!!
Fracshun: Why thank you!
Jessie: Go, Seviper! (releases Seviper)
James: Go, Cacnea! (releases Cacnea)
Cacnea: (hugs James)
James: OW!!!
Beau: (powers up)
James: Ah, but we have a device which neutralizes magnetic energy!
Artha: Damn...
Timmy: Um, I wish Team Rocket and the dragons were somewhere else!!!
C&W: (ding!)
Team Rocket and our heroes: (vanish)

SPACESHIP
Our heres: (appear)
Artha: Oh, good, we're 3-D again.
hyperpsychomaniac: Raaaarrr!!!!
Parm: We're not out of trouble yet!!!
Everyone: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!
hyperpsychomaniac: (waves arms about and looks like a man in a rubber suit)
Dashing, Young, Intelligent, And Oh-So-Speshul Woman: (pulls out bazooka and dispatches the monster)
Artha: (pink bubbles of luuuuuurve)
Kitt: Um, thanks. Just one question: What is your name?
Woman: Ensign M. Sue, sir!

 

Scene 3

SS ENTERPRISE
M. Sue: My name is M. Sue. I started out a few days ago, but ascended through the ranks to be at the next highest position to captain. I am also Spocks lost daughter, my mother was the last member of a race with angel wings (ruffles wings) and me and Kirk have a relationship.
Artha: (pink bubbles)
Lance: Artha's in luuuurve, Artha's in luuuuurve...
Kitt: If this is going where I think...
M. Sue: Artha, I am your mother!
Kitt: Took the words right out of my mouth, you did.
M. Sue, Now, Artha, why don't we go back to my cabin, and-
Klaxon: (goes off)
M. Sue: Oh drat! Klingons!
Everyone: Klingons?
M. Sue: Nasty guys, Klingons. They're usually friendly towards us, but they attack us for some reason in this sector (whips out bazooka).
phsycopathicdragon: You're supposed to have phasers!
M. Sue: (swings bazooka around) Who's got the gun here?
phsycopathicdragon: O...K (backs off)
M. Sue: Now, let's kick some bum!

TOWER OF RANDOMNESS!!!! >:D
Skylii: Ahahahahahahaha!!!! My plan is going to fruitation! Now, where are those underlings of mine? Are, there they are! Now... (waves hands)
Reality: (is altered)

SS ENTERPRISE
M. Sue: Now, stand ready everyone! This will be a tough battle!
Kitt: (under breath) Never fought a self-insert before, have they?
Door: (open)
Figures: (walk in)
M. Sue: Hey, those aren't Klingons!
Voice: Right you are! Prepare for trouble!
Voice #2: Make it double!
Everyone (bar M. Sue and Team Rocket): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Reality: (alters again)
Dragon Booster characters and Team Rocket: (vanish)
M. Sue: Hey! Where'd they go! I was going to have a relationship! Gaahh...

SOME...PLACE
Heroes: (appear)
Kitt: Well, we've escaped Team Rocket.
Lance: But where are we?
Parm: (activates binox) Well, the whole place is...very 16-bit.
Everyone: NOOOO!!!! 16-BIT-NESS!!!! AAARGH!!!!
Lance: Hey, is that a grey bone dragon I see approaching us?
SkullGreyMon: Graaah!
Everyone: AAAARGH!!!! HELP!!!!!
The DigiDestined: (arrive)
Agumon: Agumon, digivolve to...GREYMON!!!
Gabumon: Gabumon...digivolve to GARURUMON!!!
Narrator: And so on, bar Patamon. But wait! Is this a new human I see beside the DigiDestined? And what kind of Digimon is that?
Maichi-Sokuwa (the ninth Digidestined): Insertmon, we need your help! (holds up egg) Digi armor of Overpowerdness, energise!
Insertmon: Insertmon, digivolve to...MARYSUEMON!!!!
Lance: Oh No!
Kitt: Here we go again!
Artha: Tra la laaa!

 

Scene 4

DIGIWORLD
MarySuemon: Overpowered blast!!!!! (blasts)
SkullGreyMon: Noo! (disintegrates)

REALM OF DEATH
Head Death: (picks up phone) Yes? What? Someone actually died of an insanely overpowered fireball?! But I just fired him!

DIGIWORLD
Marysuemon: (goes back to Insertmon)
Digimon characters: (fall to one side due to author not willing to write parts for shameless Pokemon rip-offs)
M.S: (is described by author in massive detail, widescreen and hi-res)
Artha: (pink bubbles)
Lance: I like this one already!
Kitt: (sarcasm) Woo.
Parm: Maybe she'll help me with inventing new gear!
Kitt: (pulls out thruster gear and hold it to head, only to find it is broken) Dang.
M.S: (comes up to Artha) Hello.
Artha: Um..erm..um...(meekly) hello.
M.S.: I am Maichi-Sokuwa. I come from the star Sirius, and can speak a Healing Language. I am also blessed with transformative powers and only I can command Insertmon. Oh, and I can see we were meant for each other.
Artha: Hey-Wha? Where?
M.S.: Your aura. It's reflecting off your pants.
Kitt: (stifles a giggle)
M.S.: What's so funny? I can see auras! Nothing funny!
Kitt & Wyldfyr: (falls about laughing) Reflecting...pants! Wahahahahaahahahaha!!!!!
Artha: I'll have you know you're dumped.
Kitt: (rolls about) And the best thing is, I don't care a bit!

DARK ROOM
Voice: They have done enough. Bring them in.

DIGIWORLD
DB Characters: (zwarp off)
Digimon characters: Wha-?
M.S.: Oh, hello. (pulls out whip)
Digimon characters: NOOO!!!!! (run)

CASTLE
Artha: Where are we?
Harry Potter: Ack! Where did you come from?
Mindwell Suenethur: Yeah. Now rack off.

DARK ROOM
Voice: OK, who's operating the teleport?
Voice #2: It's a technical fault. This was only installed yesterday!
Voice: Dammit, Thrakos, I'm a judge, not a teleportation technician!
Thrakos: OK, OK. (fiddles around)

CASTLE
DB characters: (vanish)

DARK ROOM
Kitt: Where are we?
Lights: (go up)
Wyldfyr: Oh phew, it isn't Team Rocket.
Parm: This is a courtroom!
Voice: So it is!
Judges: (reveal themselves)
Kitt: (notices) Wait, aren't women allowed to become judges too?
Head Judge aka Cepheus: Yeah, but we expelled them when we found all they were interested in was writing fanfics in which they did unmentionable things with Draco Malfoy. Anyway...You are brought here before the High Court of FanFiction charged with rewriting canon and consorting with the evil Mary Sue!
Dramatic music: DUN DUN DAH!!!

 

Scene 5
Word: The eyebrows...are power! Once they were our equals. Today Moordryd controls the eyebrow...to race, compete, and fight...at over 200 kilometers per hour. Now, eyebrows are once again ready to be released. And a powerful eyebrow of legend will choose a young hero...The Eyebrow Booster!
Artha: RELEASE THE EYEBROW!!!!!
Word: The gold eyebrow is the only thing that can stop me...
Moordryd: I want that eyebrow!
Artha: NOOOO!!!!!
Lance: Drac!
Moordryd: Control that eyebrow, and you control the world.
Artha: RELEASE THE EYEBROW!!!!

Moordryd: Woah...Did I just send up my own eyebrow?
Decepshun: As a matter of fact, yes.

COURT ROOM
Cepheus: You have been found guilty of consorting with the Mary Sue and altering canon. How do you plead?
Artha: Um...Not Guilty!
Parm: By the way, what IS a Mary Sue?
Cepheus: A Mary Sue is one of the worst kind of demons that live in the fabric of fanfiction. They usually outclass everybody in sheer power, and if they get in a Harry Potter fanfic, Goddess forbid...I'm not supposed to tell you that while this is PG-13.
Everyone: Riiiight...
Cepheus: We will now get on with the session!
Narrator: While the court session was in progress, Parm was in a world of his own. And through the miracle of modern technology, we can bring you that dream.

PARMS DREAM
Dragon racers: (fall off the very twisty track)
Parm: (zooms right through it)
Narrator: As all the other riders fall off the track, Parm sticks like his feet are glued to the saddle.
Parm: (accepts trophy)
Narrator: Which they are.
Parm: (falls over)
Narrator: Which makes walking home hard to do. Sleeping isn't easy either.
Parm: Get out of my dreams!
Narrator: Ok, OK, sorry.

LATER...
Lance: I'm bored. Can we get this on with this?
Artha: Yeah. There's a guy over there who has had HIS trial going on for about three serials.
Cepheus: OK, OK. Roll the die.
lil_wyldfyr: (rolls dice)
Cepheus: (reads the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons handbook) Three. You are found guilty and left to rot in the prison cells.
Heroes: NOOOO!!!!!
Shining Light: (shines)
Cepheus: (falls to knees)
Parm: What the?

TOWER OF RANDOMNESS
Skylii: What the? NOOO!!!! My plan is coming undone!

COURTROOM
Kitt: What-who-is THAT?
Cepheus: Our Goddess of all that is good, Sarah Frost!!!
Kitt: I've heard better names.
Sarah Frost: Speak for yourself, token cliché.
Kitt: Hey!
Cepheus: Oh mighty goddess of all that is good, well-punctuated and non-Mary Sue, we have found these people consorting with your worst enemies!
All: BURN THE WITCHES!!!!
Sarah Frost: Just because they consort with self-inserts doesn't mean they're witches.
Thrakos: Oh yes it does! (points at Lance) He turned me into a yellow bellied newt!
Sarah Frost: A newt?
Thrakos: Um, I got better.
dRagOniDe: BURN THEM ANYWAY.
Judges: YEAH!!!
Sarah Frost: Shut up. Anyway (turns to heroes) I find you lot not guilty because you did it by accident-
Everyone: YAY!
Sarah Frost:-and I charge you with the sacred task of destroying the Self-Inserts.
Artha: YAY!!! Wait, what the-?
Sarah Frost: See, me and the goddess of randomness, Skylii, have been waging eternal war since the fanfic universe began. I have found that her latest weapon is the Soo-Thor, the mother of all Mary Sues. Because we cannot directly fight, we use characters as pawns in our game. So I'm using YOU to destroy the demons Soo-Thor has unleashed.
Lance: But how will we destroy them?
Sarah Frost: (pulls out sword) This is the legendary sword Modcalibur. It has the power to destroy a Mary Sue, but ONLY if she is in the arms of her beloved. Which is where YOU (glances at Artha) come in.
Artha: Me?
Sarah Frost: Yes, you, because all the Mary Sues have a magnetic attraction to canon characters, one of which is you. Then, and only then, can you destroy the Sue, for the sword will not work under any other circumstances.
Artha: (takes sword)
Sarah Frost: (opens a portal) When you defeat the demon, I will open a portal to the next fandom for you to venture in.
Lance: This sounds like a video game.
Artha: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!!!!

 

Scene 6
Narrator: And thus the heroes cleaned up the fanfiction world...

DIGIWORLD
M.S.: Artha! You're back! (falls in his arms) Now, let's talk about r-
Kitt: Take that, you demon! (strikes with sword)
M.S.: What? NOOOO!!!!!! (explodes into dust)
Insertmon: RAARRR!!!!! (leaps with claws beared)
Everyone: AAAAHHHH!!!!!
Parm: (pulls out sonic screwdriver) Die, you fiend!
Sonic Screwdriver: ZZZZTT!!!!
Insertmon: No! (disintegrates)
Artha: Wow...where'd you get that sonic screwdriver?
Parm: Did I mention I'm a Doctor Who fan? (sings) DOCTOR WHOOOOO! DOCTOR WHO!!!
Kitt: Catchy.
Narrator:...one story at a time.

SS ENTERPRISE
Ensign M. Sue: Oh, hello Artha! I have a big story to tell you-I lov-
Kitt: (strikes with sword)
Ensign M. Sue: AAAH! (explodes)
Kitt: (twirls sword) This is easy.
Narrator: Unfortunately, the very last person on their list was harder.

HOGWARTS
Mindwell: I love you, Draco!
Artha: I'm not Draco!
Mindwell: Of course you aren't! Go to heck! Avad-
Lance: (pushes Mindwell into Dracos arms)
Kitt: (strikes)
Mindwell: What? NOOO!!! (explodes)
Sarah Frost: (appears) Well done. For a bunch of clichés, you can really do some good.
Skylii: (appears) This battle is not yet over, Sarah Frost! Soo-Thor is on the brink of creating the most powerful self-insert ever! Mwahahahaha!! (vanishes)
Sarah Frost: Your task is not yet done, I'm afraid.
Everyone: WHAT?!
Sarah Frost: Before you will be allowed home, you must destroy Soo-Thor.
Artha: Isn't it immortal?
Sarah Frost: No, that's Skylii. Plus her servant, Brightclaw. Soo-Thor is just your regular fanfic writer, except a zillion times more evil. She used to be called Star Ruby, before she fused with all the other Mary-Sue writers and became ultra-powerful! Soo-Thor. Defeat her, and the fanfiction universe will return to order and all will be well. Get ready!
Kitt: Wait, wha-WOAH!!!!!
Heroes: (spiral off into the vortex) AAAAHHH!!!!!

 

Scene 7

TOWER OF RANDOMNESS
Heroes: (materialize)
Artha: Well, this is an interesting place.
Kitt: And surprisingly clean for a place of randomness and chaos.
Sparx: (lands hard) Oof.
LightningFlash (the vehicle) Zawoooom!!!
LightningFlash (the admin): Yay! Finally, Sparx gets in a DB crossover of her own!
Kitt: Who are you?
Sparx: I'm Sparx. Y'know, from Ace Lightning?
Lance: Nooo....
Sparx: (sighs) Anyway, I was sent here because Her Supreme Majesty Sarah Frost thought you needed some extra help, despite the Canon Sue that is Artha.
Artha: This whole Sue thing is really beginning to scrap my scales.
Sparx: We must go down into the depths of Skylii’s citadel if we are to confront Soo-Thor and bring an end to all this madness!
Parm: How do you know to go down that tunnel.
Sparx: (points) Well, that handy sigh there (points).
Parm: Ohhhh....
Artha: let's go! RELEASE THE DRAGON!!!!
Kitt: (to Sparx) See, this is what I have to deal with every day of my life.
Sparx: Trust me, I know the feeling...

CENTRAL CHAMBER
Skylii: So, my old enemy Sarah Frost has decided to take the game to a higher level, has she? Well, I'll show her that this goddess isn't sitting around! (lightning shoots from fingertips) Hamper them, my minions! Considering they're heroes, I doubt I'll be able to kill them, but what the heck does it matter?

TUNNELS
Heros: (proceed cautiously)
Bob the Angry Flower: (drops from ceiling)
Everyone: AAARGH!!
Bob: (pulls out plasmatronic gun) As much as I'd LIKE to shoot you with this laser gun-
Lance: You won't?
Bob: Nah, I'm too angry to not kill you!
Sparx: (whips out sword and does some nifty topiary work)
Bob The Angry Arranged Flower: I suppose I could make a lame joke about being clipped, but...(vanishes)
Sparx: Well, that was simple.
Voice: Thought so, eh?
Kitt: OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Sparx: What?
Jessie: Prepare for trouble!
Lance: It's Team Rocket!
James: Make it-
DB: We've heard it all before.
Beau: Yeah, so get out of here, eh?
Cyrano: To be sure, I'll squish you!
James: Fat chance!
Fracshun: Crikey! Now here we have an excellent specimen of the rare Teamus Rocketus! These poor critters have been transported far from their native environment, so it's our duty to catch them and get them back where they belong! (leaps)
Team Rocket: AAARGH!!!
Fracshun: Crikey, they're tough 'uns, they are!
TR: (run off) Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!!
Fracshun: Darn, they got away!
Shadow: (descends from ceiling)
Sparx: What is THAT?
Alien: (grins)
Everyone: AAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Alien: (advances)
Parm: You want a piece of me?
DB: Parm, what are you doing?
Parm: Well, alien scum, do you want a piece of me?
Alien: (hisses)
Parm: Right! YAAA!!!! (charges)
Alien: (charges)
Fight: (ensues)
Kitt: Go, Parm!!!
Sparx: Go, Parm!!!
Kitt: Hey, I'M supposed to be the one in love with Parm!
Sparx: Well, you aren't!
Kitt: (draws JAKK-stick) Prepare to fight, usurper!
Sparx: (draws sword) Right!
Lance: FIGHT!!!
Parm: (zaps alien with sonic screwdriver)
Alien: (dies)
Parm: I win!! Wait...
Kitt: (fights Sparx)
Sparx: (fights Kitt)
DB: Are they fighting over me or you?
Parm: I don't know.
DB: Come on ladies, break it up!
Sparx and Kitt: (take one look and attack DB)
DB: Oof! Ow! Ouch! Yow!
Kay Yasha: (joins in with stick) Bashing Artha is FUN!!!!!!!!
DB Boarders: (join in)

CENTRAL CHAMBER
Skylii: Man, this is boring...BRIGHTCLAW!!!
Brightclaw: Yes, master?
Skylii: Bring them in. This fighting is getting boringer than He-Man.

TUNNELS
Heroes: (vanish)

CENTRAL CHAMBER
Heroes: (appear)
Sparx: What the?
Skylii: Welcome to my domain, FOOLS!!!!1!
Kitt: You, again!!!
Skylii: Yes, and THIS time my title says 'Randomity at its high. Beware. ; )'!!!!! Now NOTHING can stop me!
DB: Just because your title says so?
Skylii: Probably not. But you shall still be destroyed!!!!
Brightclaw: Yes, master kill the stupid heroesis!!!!
Sparx: (strikes with sword, but sword fizzles out)
Skylii: See? You can't kill me at all.
Soo-Thor: (appears)
Skylii: Ah, my dear colleague. Please meet my guests. Then kill them.
Soo-Thor: RIGHT TH3N!!!!! OMG WTF LOL R 2 B D3STROY3D PUNY MORTALS!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG WTF
DB: Did anyone understand that?
Everyone (including Skylii): Nope.
DB: Oh no! We're gonna die!!!!!
Kitt: Wait! The sword of modship!! (strikes with it)
Soo-Thor: NOOO!!
!11!!!!!11!11!111!1111!1!!1!!! OMG WTF (explodes)
Skylii: What? NOOOO!!!!!! My plans are ruined!
Sarah Frost: And so they are, Skylii.
Skylii: My dear old nemesis, how nice it is to meet you!
Sarah Frost: Same here (drives sword of order through Skylii)
Skylii: What? NOOOOO!!!! (vanishes in a white light)
Lance: Hey, didn't you say you can't harm each other directly?
Sarah Frost: I lied.

ALLEYWAY
Heroes: (reappear)
Artha: (deactivates DB amour) Whew, am I glad that's over.
Shadow: (looms)
Artha: What's that?
Shadow: (reveals to be a Mankey)
Kitt: Aw, isn't it cute? (levitates in adoration)
Mankey: (steals Artha's chocolate)
Artha: Oi! (kicks Mankey)
Mankey: (gets mad)
Artha: Ooops...
Mankey: (chases Artha)
Artha: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Mankey: (beats up Artha)
Kitt: Artha, are you OK?
Artha: Of course I'm not OK!!!
Dust: (clears)
Artha: I surrender...
THE END!!!!!

Kitt: This fanfic brought to you by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dragons.
Kitt and Wyldfyr: YAY DRAGONS!!!

The Madness of Dragon City 3: Revenge of the Stewart

 

By SilverDragon

Origionally posted here:The Madness of Dragon City 3: Revenge of the Stewart

THE MADNESS OF DRAGON CITY 3: REVENGE OF THE STEWART

Scene 1

PENN STABLES
Artha: (sweeps the floor) Gee, I can't wait for the karaoke party to start!
Parm: Yeah, I can't wait to sweep the floor with 'I'm too sexy'!
Lance: (puts out lollies) Yay, lollies! Can I eat some?
Artha: OK, but not too-
Lance: (eats all lollies) SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!!
Artha: (sighs)
Kitt: (enters) Wait, where did you get this food?
Parm: Corner shop.
Lance: (zooms around) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Artha: Beau, can you restrain Lance for a bit?
Beau: Sure thing. (grabs Lance)
Lance: (struggles)
Beau: The restrainers! They cannae tak it anymoore!
Lance: (breaks free) ^_________________________________________^

LATER THAT EVENING
Parm: OK, food?
Lance: Check! W0000000t!
Parm: Cleanliness?
Kitt: Check!
Parm: Deco?
Dragons: Check!
Parm: Karaoke machine?
Artha: (turns on mike) Um...(sings) Bananas, in pajamas, are coming down the stairs...Check!
Parm: OK, now all we need are guests! Here they come!
Moordryd & Cain: (arrive) I still don't know why you invited us, but heck, at least it gets me away from my father.
Parm: What's up with him?
Moordryd: He's gone slightly crazy.

SHOPPING CENTRE
Word: Oooh! Barbie underpants! I bet Moordryd would LOVE these! Oh, and those jeans...Can I try them on?

PENN STABLES
Parm:...Yeah.
Decepshun: So, have you invited anyone else?
Artha: Well, duh.
Vociferous and Spynn (plus dragon): (arrive) I can't WAIT for the karaoke to start!
More guests: (arrive)
Artha: Hey, Pyrrah, looking good...Hi, Libris, I see Jenny Craig has done wonders...Hey, Marianis! Didn't think you'd make it...Hey! Sparx! You're with Ace I see (frowns). Well, have a good time! Hiya Lord Fear! Please don't look at me like that! Hiya Team Rocket ! (silent NOOOOO) Hiya...Hey! Wait a minute! (glances to the crew) Who invited the Blood Angels chapter of the Space Marines?

EVIL TOWER (NOT WORD'S)
Evil mind: (thinks evil thoughts) I have come to an evil conclusion...I, Martha Stewart, shall RULE THE WORLD!!!!! (evil cliched laughter)

PENN STABLES
Party: (is in full swing)
Khatah: (puts the moves on Marianis)
Marianis: (kicks Khatah in the...ouch)
Sparkk: (goes on sugar rush) ^____________________^
Pyrrah: Sparkk, come back here!!
Kitt: Trust me, I know the feeling.

Artha: (grabs mike) Oh-kay, now, it's the time you've been waiting for...KAREOKE TIME!!!
Assembled crews and Space Marines: (cheer)
Parm: I'm..too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt!
Db Board residents: Ooooooh!!! (think dirty thoughts)
Marianis: You're so vain! You're so vain! I bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you? (glances at Khatah)
Khatah: (is embarassed)
Pyrrah: TROGDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR! Burninating the countryside! Burninating the peasants! Burninating all the people, in their THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!!!!! (plays imaginary air guitar)
People: (scream)
Vociferous: Stop! In the name of love!
Skylii: (screams)
Moodryd: But I stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil havn't found what I'm looking for...
Artha: Even though he's evil, he can still sing a U2 song pretty well.
Ace: There's a hero in us allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...
Sparx: Do we get extra points if we sing our own theme song?
Artha: Dunno. we don't even have a theme song.
Decepshun: Baby baby baby! You are my voodoo child, my voodoo child!
Team Rocket: Prepare for trouble...make it double!
Crash: (is heard)
Beau: Eh?
Shadow: (descends)
Wyldfyr: Wait, Team Rocket are here already...who's this?
Shadow: I am MARTHA STEWART! And I have come to steal your mushrooms! (steals mushrooms) WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (departs)
Artha: Wait, I didn't know we even had any mush-
Plot Hole: (opens up)
Artha: (falls in) AAARGH!!!!

 

Scene 2:
Artha: (falls in plot hole) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-(whump) Oh, I like holes having bottoms.
Kitt: Artha, are you OK?
Artha: Let's see, I'm stuck at the bottom of a plot hole, with no food, and it's cramped in here, WELL OF COURSE I'M OK!
Kitt: OK then. (turns)
Artha: Hey! I was joking! Come back!
Kitt: HA HA HA YOU FELL FOR IT!
Artha: Very funny. Now get me out.
Beau: I would mag you out, but even though I probably could, I won't for plot purposes.
Lance: I know! (holds up jelly snake) KILLER PYTHONS!!
Parm: And just how do you intend to use Killer Pythons to get him out?
Lance: (knots them together to make a jelly snake rope)
Parm: I would have thought of that!
Lance: No, you wouldn't have, 'cause you don't think along the lines of insane fanfic randomness (throws rope down hole)
Artha: Yummy! Killer Pythons!
Lance: You dummy! You don't EAT them, you GET UP on them!!!!!!
Artha: Oh. My mistake! (climbs up)
Everyone: (cheers)
Artha: Now what?
Kitt: We must go after Martha Stewart and get our mushrooms back!
Cain: But surely you could just go to the corner store?

CORNER STORE
Martha Stewart: Give me all your mushrooms, or I'll set Constipayshun on you!
Constipayshun: (growls)

PENN STABLES
Cain: I see.
Pyrrah: We should track down Martha Stewart and get the mushrooms back!
Marianis: And kill her.
Pyrrah: That too, but this is a PG-13 show! You don't KILL people in that rating!
Sparx: Ahem.
Pyrrah: OK...
Artha: (whispering) I don't think I should go Dragon Booster in front of all these people.
Kitt: Yeah, you're right. (dings) I know! (yelling) LET OUR POWERS COMBINE!!!!
Kawake: EARTH!
Pyrrah: FIRE!!
Chute: WIND!!
Marianis: WATER!!
Artha: SPLEEN!!!
Kitt: Spleen?
Artha: What kind of lame power is Heart anyway?
Moordryd: HEART!!
Voice: By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET!!!! (spots Ace) Oh no, not you again...

 

Scene 3
Ace: It's YOU!
Captain Planet: I know! You consume energy! And that the energy you use is derived from oil that pollutes the environment and-
Kitt: This guy is worse than Vociferous when he gives a speech.
Vociferous: I heard that!!
Marianis: Enough of your bickering! (pulls out something) BEHOLD, THE RUBY STUDDED ARTICHOKE OF DOOM!!!! Wait! (inspects) This isn't THE RUBY STUDDED ARTICHOKE OF DOOM. This is a green draconium cannon ball! What has happened?
Cain: No wonder Coershun was looking a bit stiff.
Marianis: Give me that! (fires)
Ace and Cptn. Planet: (freeze solid)
Kitt: WAH!
Artha: Kitt? Where are you?
Kitt: DOWN HERE! THE AUTHOR LEFT A STUPID PLOTHOLE AGAIN!!!
Parm: Lance, we need your Killer Pythons again...
Lance: (mouth full) Um...Eheheh... It's the strangest thing, but...

MARTHA STEWARTS EVIL SPIRE
Martha Stewart: Gwahahahahahaha!!!! Now I have everybody’s mushrooms, I shall crash the stock market and TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! And that is actually plausible, too!

WORD PAYNNS TOWER OF EVILNESS
Word: What? Martha Stewart is trying to take over Dragon City? Only I'm allowed to do that! Well, me and Propheci. And maybe that weird talking amulet who I know is actually a (spazzes out) FAIRY!!!! I shall defeat her...(pulls out something) with my DIAMOND STUDDED MUSHROOM OF DOOM!!! (evil laughter)

PENN STABLES
Wyldfyr: Oh, for Magna Draconis' sake... (mags Kitt out)
Kitt: Hey, why didn't you do that with Artha?
Wyldfyr: It wasn't narrativly convenient.
Kitt: That's plausible!
Artha: I guess Planet and Ace aren't capable of helping us right now.
Sparx: Hey! What about me?
Artha: Hello? This is a 'masculine wish fulfillment fantasy'? You get to be my sidekick.
Sparx: AS IF!!! (zaps Artha)
Artha: OUCH!!! Um...
Parm: You've gone and made him lose his memory!
Artha: Well, only the bit about how to turn into the Dragon Booster...Um, RELEASE THE DVD'S?
Crickets: (chirp)
Artha: OK, we'll try again when we actually GET there.
Sparx: And now, just for Skylii...OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Skylii: AAARGH!!!!
Parm: Oh, look what I conveniently found.
Artha: What?
Parm: THE SOME SORT OF BLACK GEM STUDDED BANANA CAKE!!!!
The some sort of black gem studded banana cake: I'll have you know my name's B3.
Parm: It talks! AAAH!!!

Now, the fourth installment. Gee, this is taking a long time.

 

Scene 4

EVIL SPIRE! MWHAHAHA!!!! *is bricked*
Martha Stewart: I have all the mushrooms in Dragon City! Now, I shall rule the world!!! (evil clichéd laughter) And now to deliver a message.

VIDDSCREENS AROUND THE CITY
Martha Stewart: (appears) How are you gentlemen? All your mushrooms are belong to US! You are on the way to a stock market crash.
People: (act like headless chickens)
Martha Stewart: You have no chance to survive make your time! Ha Ha Ha!

STREET
Artha: Oh no!!!!
Sparx: She has the mushrooms!
Kitt: And the author has to leave the computer!!! Nooo...
*abrupt end*

LATER
SilverDragon: Oh, sorry! Now, where were we?
Kiit: We were on a street in the middle of a crazy mob!

STREET
Sparx: Everyone! On your dragons! Otherwise you'll be flattened!
Everyone: (gets on dragons)
Artha: But what about you?
Sparx: Lightning Flash, to me! (jumps on)

SPIRE OF EVIL
Martha Stewart: What? Those brats dare to destroy ME? Well, I'll show them! (presses button) Get'm, George.

STREET
Parm: Hey, Artha. There's a person coming over here.
Lance: I hope he's wanting to help us.
Person: (sourthern drawl) Un-American terrorists!!
Music: Dunanananananananananah!!!
PRESIDENT BUSH would like to fight!
Artha: Hey...what?
PRESIDENT BUSH sent out DICK CHENEY!
ARTHA sent out BEAU!
Artha: Now, how does this work...Ah, yes!
BEAU used MAG-BLAST!
Artha: All right!
Foe DICK CHENEY used ACCIDENTAL SHOOT IN FACE!!
DICK CHENEY's attack missed!
Beau: Hooray!
Artha: Now, Beau, finish him off with a SUPER MAG BLAST!!
Foe DICK CHENEY used BEHIND-THE-SCENES MANIPULATION!
BEAU was MANIPULATED!
BEAU used MAG-BLAST!
Artha:...What the Magna Draconis?
Beau: I was MANIPULATED! It changes my attack to whatever he wants!
Artha: Ok then...
Foe DICK CHENEY used BEHIND-THE-SCENES MANIPULATION!
Artha: Scales!
But it failed!
Artha: All right!
BEAU used SUPER MAG-BLAST!
Foe DICK CHENEY fainted!
Everyone: (cheers)
PRESIDENT BUSH sent out DONALD RUMSFELD!
Artha: Sparx, it's your go now!
Sparx: Thanks!
LIGHTNING KNIGHT SPARX sent out LIGHTNING FLASH!
Foe DONALD RUMSFELD used TRUMPED-UP CHARGES!!
LIGHTNING FLASH used QUICK ATTACK!
Sparx: (scans attacks) Woah, my Lightning Flash has thunderbolt? Alright then!
LIGHTNING FLASH used THUNDERBOLT!
It's super effective!
Sparx: Hooray! Aw, he didn't faint.
Foe DONALD RUMSFELD used GULF WAR!!
It's a one-hit KO!
Sparx: What the?
LIGHTNING FLASH fainted!
AL fans: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (gather in an angry mob to hunt down author)

Scene 5
SPARX is out of POKEMON!
SPARX whited out!
Artha: (steps in) Go, Beau!!
Beau: WRAOR!!!!!
BEAU used MAG-BLAST!!!
Critical hit!
Foe DONALD RUMSFELD fainted!!!
PRESIDENT BUSH sent out PRESIDENT BUSH!
Artha: Wait, you can send out yourself?
Beau: Apparently, yes.
ARTHA withdrew BEAU!
ARTHA sent out PARM!!
Parm: Hey!
ARTHA has something in MIND!
PARM is ANGRY!!!
PRESIDENT BUSH used CONFISCATED WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!
PARM was basically OBLITERATED on every level of existance!!!!
PARM is now little more than ASH!!!
PARM fainted!!!

FEATURELESS PLAIN
Parm: (appears) Where the heck am I?
Death by Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Well, it's a long story, but...

MSN
SilverDragon: See?
LightningFlash: NOOOO!!!!!
Mr. Anvil: (falls)
SilverDragon: (backs away slowly)

STREET
Kitt: NOOOO!!!! My love!
LightningFlash: (from under Mr. Anvil) YES!!
Kitt: (notices four Crow-Drags) What are YOU looking at?
Crow-Drags: (murmurs of 'Oh No!' and 'They've found us out!')
Crow-Drag: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
Crow-Drags: (smile and wave)
Kitt: I swear, those Crow-Drags were planning to take over the world!
Artha: (to Lance) Women are like this after a big loss.
Lance: I see.
PRESIDENT BUSH is wanting you to battle, because if you don't, the TERRORISTS have won!
Artha: Oh, ok.

ARTHA sent out ARTHA!
ARTHA used the GOLD AMULET!
What? ARTHA is evolving!
Congratulations! Your ARTHA evolved into DRAGON BOOSTER!
DRAGON BOOSTER used JAKK-STICK
PRESIDENT BUSH fainted!
Artha: That's strange, he only had five hit-points.
Player defeated PRESIDENT BUSH!
ARTHA got $250000 for winning!
Bush: God darnit! The terrorists hayve wayn!
(Fade out)

EVIL SPIRE
Martha Stewart: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

AROUND EVIL SPIRE
Heroes: (advance)
Artha: Hey, what is that?
Kitt: Awww, it's a cute little penguin!! (levitates in adoration)
Lance: It may be cute, but I can feel massive waves of evil coming off it! Let's run!
Penguin: (grins)
DUNANANANANANANNANANANA!!!!

Wild EVIL DEATH PENGUIN appeared!!
Artha: Go! Beau!
EVIL DEATH PENGUIN used SHEER COLD!!
It's a one-hit KO!
BEAU fainted!
ARTHA is out of POKeMON!
ARTHA whited out!

Scene 6

FEATURELESS PLAIN
Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs:...and so you're dead.
Parm: Am I?
Death by IOF: Yes.
Parm: Well, not to worry!
Death by IOF: Not to worry?! You're DEAD.
Parm: No, but this is a random fanfic of insanity, so I'm almost certainly going to be reincarnated one way or another.
Death by IOF: Crap. The first one I bring in for a while, and he is in an insane fanfic? Gaah!
Death by Being Ground With a Mars Rover Rock Abrasion Tool: At least you bring in people...

BATTLE!
EVIL PENGUIN is invincible!
KITT sent out Wyldfyr!
Wyldfyr: Why me?
WYLDFYR used RED THRUSTER GEAR!
It's super effective!
All: Hooray!
EVIL PENGUIN has 4273544 HP still remaining!
All: What the-?
EVIL PENGUIN used ULTIMATE ATTACK!
WYLDFYR fainted!
Kitt: NOOO!!!!
KITT is out of POKeMON!
KITT fainted!
OUR HEROES have no PoKeMON left!

REALM OF DEATH
Parm: (vanishes)
Death by IOF: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

BATTLE!
PARM was REINCARNATED!
PARM FELL on EVIL PENGUIN!
EVIL PENGUIN FAINTED!
Kitt: Parm! You're back! (hugs)

THE FORUM
LightningFlash: You can never stop P/K shipping! Gwhahahahahahaha!!!
Psychopathicdragon: Neither can you stop A/B shipping!!!
LightningFlash: (pulls out light saber) Or can we?

OUTSIDE EVIL SPIRE
Artha: Now, I remember the words for turning into the Dragon Booster!
Kitt: Go, go, boy from stable!
Artha: (holds up amulet) RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!
Hounds: (are released)
Artha: Whoops.
Hounds: (snarl)
Artha: (runs) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Kitt: (hold head in hands)
Hounds: (savage Artha)
Artha: Ow! Yip! Noo! Youch! Get away from-OW!+
Parm: INTENSE...SAVAGING...ACTION!

INSIDE EVIL SPIRE
Martha Stewart: What?! They're right outside my centre of evil? Send in the-
Word: (appears on screen) I'd like to have a word with you...Hey, that's a pun! Heh heh heh...
Martha Stewart: What is it, Word?
Constipaytion: (snarls)
Word: I'M the only one allowed to try to take over the world in the half-hour timeslot! ME ME ME.
Martha: Always the possessive one, eh, Wordie?
Word: But now, I have THIS! (holds up diamond-studded mushroom of DOOOOM)
Martha: Oh shut up. (turns off screen) Now, I must abduct those annoying girls! Send out my flying newts!

OUTSIDE EVIL SPIRE
Kitt: AAAH!!! Flying newts!!
Sparx: But they're so cute!!
Newts: (carry them both off to a really high tower)
Artha & Parm: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

REALLY HIGH TOWER
Kitt: Damn. We're stuck up here. With no really possibility of getting down.
Sparx: Not to worry! LightningFlash, to me!
LightningFlash: Zawoooooooooom!
Flying newts: (assault LightningFlash and destroy it)
Sparx: Bugger. I'm out of ideas.
Kitt: Scream for help?
Sparx: Fat chance.
Kitt: (dings) I know!
Sparx: What?
Kitt: (yells) Save us, big knights!!!
Big crash: (is heard)
The Big Knights: For Borodzo, and Borovia! (or whatever they yell)
Kitt & Sparx: Oh hurrah!
Sir Morris: (attacks the door)
Kitt: Oh, our hopes are dashed again. Sir Morris is the worst swordsman in the land.
Sir Morris: But the most enthusiastic!

 

Scene 7
Sir Morris: (breaks down the door)
Kitt: Hurrah!
Giant Flying Electric Eel: (appears)
Sparx: Ye gods!
Kitt: Someone tell me what it's doing here?
DUNANANNAANNANANANANA!!!!

Wild INEXPLICABLY FLYING ELECTRIC EEL appeared!
SPARX says the PLOT is getting CONTRIVED!
KITT agrees with SPARX!
Wild IFEE is wondering when they are going to BATTLE!
KITT points out that they will NOT battle a PLOT CONTRIVANCE!
Wild IFEE is not happy!
SPARX shows some SYMPATHY!
Wild IFEE is now TAGGING ALONG with our HEROES!
EVERYBODY is now HAPPY!

Kitt: Phew, am I glad that's over with.
IFEE: Hey, I'll give you Commonwealth Games tickets for $100.
Sparx: Oh no! It's a scalper eel! Feel electric death! (pulls out sword)
IFEE: (is salamied)
Kitt: Sparx, he could have flown us down.
Sparx:...Crap.
Kitt: Well, considering the door is now bashed down, we could just walk out.
Sparx: I sense a cop-out.
Audience: (screaming) COP-OUT!

EVIL SPIRE
Artha: Well, Martha Stewart, here we are at your evil spire. Now, what do you plan to do with our mushrooms?
Martha Stewart: I shall sell them at rock bottom prices, kids! And thus the economy shall be collapsed!!
Parm: That's so...evil.
Martha: Yeah, I suppose it is. But now, I have to destroy you, impudent children!
Word: Not so fast!
Martha: Paynn!
Word: Stewart!
Moordryd: TOOG!
Word: Only I can take over the world!
Martha: No you can't.
Word: Yes I can. Feel black mushroom death! (fires)
Martha: AAARGH!!!!!!
Word: YES!!!
Martha: Before I go, Moordryd, there's one thing I have to tell you.
Moordryd: Yes?
Martha Stewart: MOODRYD, I AM YOUR MOTHER!!
Moordryd: What? It's not possible!
Martha Stewart: Search your heart, you know it to be true.
Moordryd: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Martha Stewart: Just kidding. (blasts Word)
Word: (is thrown back very far)
Martha Stewart: You shall never defeat me! (opens up a dimensional gate and gets away)
Artha: She's getting away!
Parm: What?
Audience: HE SAID 'SHE'S GETTING AWAY!'
Artha: We must go after her! WELEASE WODGER! (jumps into portal)
Everyone else (bar the Paynns): (enter the gate)
Kitt and Sparx: (arrive)
Kitt: I'll give you three guesses as to where they've gone.
Sparx: Hell?
Kitt: Nope.
Sparx: A junkyard?
Kitt: Nope.
Sparx: World War II?
Kitt: Wrong! Through that gate.
Sparx: I was thinking along the lines of where they'd ended up after entering the gate.
Kitt: Well, we may as well follow them! Go, Wyldfyr! (enters gate)
Sparx: If only I had my LightningFlash...
LightningFlash: (conveniently reincarnates)
Sparx: YAY! (hops on and enters gate)

 

SCENE 8

IRELAND
Heroes: (appear)
Sheep: Baa.
Artha: Wait a minute...Why am I green?
Kitt: Me too!
Parm: And me!
Artha: You usually WEAR green, Parm.
Parm: Oh...
Beau: Can anyone tell me why I'm suddenly the orange-and-green dragon of legend?
Lance