Michelle's Family

We've been staying busy this summer trying to finish up school work that we didn't get to this past year.  But we're managing to have lots of fun also. 

We got the kids a new (above ground) pool in lue of a vacation, so they've been keeping cool and having fun in there.  Here in the south, the humidity can be so miserable that the kids don't care to go outside when it's hot.  So I'm enjoying them having an outlet for some of that pent up energy that they have from staying inside. 

The kids are doing well.  But I'm still worried about Joshua.  He told Sarah the other day that his Mom and Dad are at their house crying because they miss him.  Sigh.  Two counselors and so far nothing is helping them "see" what I'm worried about.  I know this is a grieving process.  I get that.  But my gut tells me that if he doesn't learn how to deal with these worries and emotions, he's going to have a hard road ahead of him.  My gut is telling me that he has some serious issues concerning this and it's not going to just blow over on his own.  For the most part, he's well behaved.  According to both therapists this translates to mean he's dealing with it fine.  I don't think so.  I think he's a volcano....and one day all of his emotions will erupt.

This isn't stopping me from thoroughly enjoying him!  He's such a cutie.  And I am seeing some good signs!  He mentioned in a round about way that he loved me today!  He's only told me and Ronnie that he loves us 2 times since the birth families rights were TPR'd.  Well, 2 times without being prompted.  He's swimming like a fish though and he's turning so brown!  All of the kids are getting quite a tan this summer, lol.

I was going to post some pictures but it seems that my website capacity is full.  I'll have to upload later to photobucket, so I can post some!

Happy 4th y'all!

Recently I found a website that was apparently intended for public school teachers to post articles about topics they deem relevant.  I was quite surprised to read one person's "rant" about why he didn't believe in homeschooling.  He had a degree in journalism, so many of the home school families were quite disappointed at how misinformed and unresearched his "reasons" were. 

He began his article by calling home school moms "self aggrandizing, society phobic mothers".  It only got better from there.  Later, after being bombarded by comments from home school parents who were shocked and angry at the audacity of his article, he somewhat tried to soften to the blow of these words by saying, he didn't mean this as harshly as it sounded...so take it with a proverbial grain of salt.

Just a few of his (10) reasons are:

1.  College kids use the term, "You were totally homeschooled" as an insult. 

(The interesting thing about this "reason" was that it was implied that PUBLIC schooled kids would be doing the insults. He also pointed out that one could be taunted with this irregardless of whether they were *actually* home schooled.  What he failed to realize...this would be a sign of BAD socialization skills in the real world.  We don't go around randomly insulting people in the real world.  He also failed to notice that going to a public school would not prevent this either.  Apparently, our kids could possibly have this insult thrown at them, irregardless of whether they home or public schooled...so what's the point of sending them to a public school again?)

2. Homeschool parents are "selfish" because we are not sending our kids to the public school to help the not so smart kids there.

(I thought this was an insult to public schooled kids personally.  I think there are some brilliant children in the public school system and it's sad that he wants to encourage such peer dependence.  I also fail to understand how sending a smart kid to school will make another kid smarter anyhow.  His argument made NO sense what-so-ever.  I've paid local taxes all of my adult life...most of which goes to the public schools.  My kids do not directly benefit from this at all.  Plus, by me teaching my kids at home, that is 7 less kids in the classroom...making the classrooms smaller and allowing the teacher to focus on the other students.  So in actuality, I've been selfless since I've taken the burden of educating my children off the system, thereby reducing teacher/student ratio and do not partake of the resources that we help pay for.)

3.  As a teacher, it just makes him angry (except he didn't use that word).

(Well, there's a good reason to send our kids to a public school....it just makes him angry.)

4.  There was no way a regular parent could teach as well as him.

(This one was funny.  He had a double major in English and Journalism, and yet multiple home school parents pointed out grammatical errors.  Note:  Not me!  Whereas, I can do a good job of editing my grammar mistakes, I don't usually bother.  So I cast no stones on this one, lol.  However, other's obviously felt that he needed to have it pointed out, so as to prove their point...they CAN educate their kids as well as he can.  His point was even if we could teach English as well as him, we can't be an expert in every subject.  Well, the problem with this way of thinking is that we don't HAVE to be an expert in all of these subjects.  We have to have access to good curriculum, be willing to learn WITH the child, or hire tutors for our kids.  Problem solved.)

He went on and on with such things, ending with this last reason...."not to hate, but homeschoolers are kind of geeky".   

Well there's a reason to send our kids to public school. 

As a Christian, I take that "geeky" name and wear it with pride.  We are called to be different.  Titus 2:14 and I Peter 2:9 calls us a "peculiar" people.  That New Testament word for peculiar is periousios and is actually a compound of two Greek words that means "being beyond usual, that is, special (one's own).  "Peculiar",  I think, is this mans word, "geeky".  I've told my children for years that they are not supposed to be able to "fit in" with most kids.  If they went to a public school, private school, home school co-op, or even church, it's rare that they completely fit in.  If they act just like the kids cursing at the home school co-op or, disrespecting their parents, disrespectful towards things to do with God, or in one case making out at co-op, then we have failed and we need to come up with a new plan fast (and pray that it's not too late for US to influence our children for Christ.  Our influence as a parent rarely ever "stops" but it certainly slows down as our children get older). 

After being swamped with angry homeschooler's comments, (according to him there were over 25,000 words posted in the comments section in one day) he's now decided homeschoolers are the "Kenyans" of filibusters and if he were ever in a fight he'd want us on his side, lol.

His next post was titled, "Homeschoolers: Do they care too much?".

This time his list was even worse...because it revealed the real danger that I see in the public school "system" (not necessarily the teachers, or at least not all of them, or even the principal but as an organization).

This time he pointed out that he thought it was dangerous for our kids to get all of their information from one source because then no one would be there to challenge that information.  He equated this to "brainwashing".  In other words, he's telling us that part of the public schools "job" is to make sure that the things you teach your kids is being challenged.  According to him, part is to counteract people's religion and morality. 

Let me quote: 

 This sort of attitude toward the vast majority of mainstream society worries me if it comes just from a parent. But since this comes from the two major authority figures in a child?s life?both parent and teacher? I?m downright terrified myself. How will the child come to learn any different?

Do you think abortion is wrong?  It's the PS's job to counteract that belief according to this author.

Do you think homosexuality is wrong?  It's the PS's job to teach your kids otherwise (and he specifically mentioned "sexuality" as one of those beliefs that public schools help to counter...but that seems to have disappeared from the original post now.) Again, according to this author, it's the PS's job to teach differently. 

Do you have ANY moral that is different than mainstream, liberal America?  If you do, then a public school would be the place to ensure that your belief system is not passed on to your child.

I loved my son's public school teacher this year. She was very sweet and she truly loved my son!  How can I NOT love someone who so clearly loved my child?  But at the end of the year, he was struggling and I was given a choice.  I can either keep him in Kindergarten so he can learn to read but the math will be too easy for him....or I can send him on to first grade, where he will be left behind in reading...but he'll get the math he needs.  I was to choose between math and reading.

No thanks.  This society phobic, self-aggrandizing, selfish home school mom will keep her son at home next year, so I won't have to choose between learning to read and learning to add.

Recently a homeschool list I'm on had a conversation about how colleges effect Christians kids.  The conversation has now turned to views on preparing our children for the world.  As a mom with a son going into 11th grade, I can certainly relate to the concerns that the original poster had when she asked how secular colleges affected Christian kids.

Anyhow, I've been thinking about this topic alot.  I made this reply this morning on the topic.  So this is what's been going through my mind for the past couple of days.

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I cannot thank you all enough for adding your comments to this conversation.

I also agree completely. My husband is an assistant pastor, and as such we had a lot of "expectations" put upon us young parents to have our kids behave certain ways....even though our son was only 2 at the time! We have always felt like this was only people wanting a performance out of our children. Our children are not "performers". People were more concerned with my children's outside than they were with their inside. As their mother, I am MUCH more interested in seeing them come to a personal and very real relationship with Christ. I don't want to force my views on them....I want to lead them to the right views and for them to choose Christ on their own. Anything forced into them, can be easily picked out of them.

On the other hand, how do I know that they have truly accepted Christianity? I'm sure I would find out pretty quickly if they went to a college where their professed belief system was attacked repeatedly. At that point, we would know if they truly believed what they professed because people will not be persecuted for OTHER people's beliefs! I think the true test on whether a child has truly accepted Christ is what beliefs they adhere to when facing persecution or an assault on their beliefs. I can't help but go back to the thought that Jesus himself did not start his ministry until he was 30. He did things within the church prior to that, but you do not find him venturing out on his own in full fledged ministry until 30.

Personally, I don't want to find out that way. Not all kids develop at the same rate. Some truly accept Christ and the Bible's teachings earlier than others....they have made the Bible and it's teachings their own...not their parents beliefs, but made it their beliefs. Some kids have never faced or challenged what their parents believe and teach them prior to leaving for college. So when faced with these new challenges, they don't know how to respond. And if they don't have the answers....

My oldest is going into the 11th grade. Time has flown. He will soon be embarking on his college life. He's leaning towards a VERY conservative Christian college. I think that's the only way I'd even consider him leaving for college anyhow. He goes to forums to read debates on evolution. He's studied what other religions teach. He's written numerous papers on what HE believes....and he's been expected to back it up both scripturally, morally, and logically. I think he's prepared. I'm scared to death to find out if I'm right. I don't want to send my son....my baby sheep-soldier prematurely into the world.

My signature is the essence of why I homeschool.

Why I homeschool:

"there is a big difference between sending fully trained disciples into

enemy territory and sending recruits to our enemy's training camp. If we do

the latter, we shouldn't be surprised when they come home wearing the

enemy's uniform and charging the hill of our home waving an enemy flag."

-from Family Driven Faith By Voddie Baucham, Jr.

You know, I was always a kind of "green" person.  From the time that I learned about water conservation, fossil fuels, CFC's and recyclying as a child, I've wanted to take better care of our planet.  But here I sit as an adult, a few years older....and a heck of a lot smarter, and I realize that I can't believe everything that I was taught as a child or even what I'm being told as an adult.  Especially what I'm told as an adult. 

So here I sit at the computer at 2:39 in the morning, freezing, and I can't help but wonder, "Where the heck is the global warming that is suppossed to be killing the planet as we speak?"  No doubt, if you listen to some some people who've made the environment their "religion", you'd believe that we are still indeed in global warming.  It doesn't matter that this has been the coldest winter in many, many....many years.  Yes, these religious freaks will continue preaching they tired sermon to every person who will buy into it.  The funny thing is back in the 70's Newsweek Magazine was trying to raise awareness and warn people about the "The Coming Iceage". 

Global warming?  Here's an interesting article that I just found on this very topic. 

It's interesting to note that it's become such a fad thing to be "green" and "prevent" global warming, if you are scientist who disagrees with this doom and gloom assessment, or questions this supposed warming, you are completely ridiculed. This has been true for several years.  It hasn't gotten any better for the dissenting scientist since this article was written. 

So what's a sane, non-evironment-worshipping, thinking person to do?  Glad you asked.  Well, reasonable people need not do this. How about being responsible with what you use or purchase?  That's simple enough...and you should do that whether we're in "global warming" or not.  Don't waste things just because you can.  Recycle.  Purchase gas efficient vehicles if you can afford them. Etc.  You know all of that.  But most of all, quit panicking.  I think it's just a tad too soon to declare that the sky is falling. 

Here I sit at 2:20 in the morning now.  It's one of those nights when my mind is racing about well, life and I just can't get to sleep.  This will make for one tired...but hopefully not too grumpy mama in the morning. 

You know it's hard to see the people you love make choices that you just know are going to come back to bite them in the tooshy.  But what can I do?  It's not my choice.  It's also hard to know to that the people you love have decided that the person they are when with you, is a farce.  It feels less than honest.  Almost like the entire relationship is not real. If you can't tell, I have some "drama" going on in my life right now.  At least, emotionally and mentally I do. 

I know where to turn for help though.  I will look "unto the hills from whence cometh my help". I'm so grateful that I can turn to my God who loves me.  My Abba, who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

I love you Lord, my strength.

Do you ever have days when you are just grumpy?  You don't have any particular reason why your grumpy...you just are.  Today is my day.  I hate days like these.  I've gotten angry at Timothy.  And Jessica.  I called Ronnie and fussed at him because he didn't write the kids orthodontist appointment in my appointment book.  I really hate myself (okay, not really hate...more like dislike) when I do that to him.  He's at work...was up hours before me...and I call to fuss because he didn't write in an appointment he made.  I should make that up to him.  I think I'll go text him my apology again.  I've already called back and apologized, but I feel really guilty right now about that

Maybe it's this terrible headache I have that's making me like this.  I don't really have an excuse.  I slept in this morning.  Hannah slept with me  (sweet snuggling going on!), so I'm not tired.  I just feel blah.  I don't want to do anything and I need to get up and clean the kitchen and get a load of laundry folded and another one washed. 

I need to spend some time in my Bible and prayer.  That's probably what the problem is. 

I wanted to let everyone know that I've updated the pictures on here, with our full adoption album if you are interested in seeing pic's of the whole family on adoption day.  Just click on the album named "Adoption Day Photo's" and you will get to see all the pictures from this blessed event.

I also wanted to tell you all about a GREAT homeschool resource!  The web is a magnificent thing, is it not?  You can find TONS of public domain books on here to read to your children and many of them you'd pay a pretty hefty penny for if you bought from a book store.  Well, someone in my homeschool group has a wonderful website full of great things for Christians and homeschoolers!  She has started a website that is listing public domain AUDIO books!  Did you hear that?  A-U-D-I-O BOOKS!  How great is that?  So when I went to her website, the book she has featured on this webpage is called "American History Stories Volume 2 by Mara L. Pratt".  You can check out her page here.  I think I'll add a link to her pages in my homeschool section. 

Also, I wanted to congratulate our friends the Mike and Meri on the finalization of the adoption of their son, Nathan Isaiah.  They have a wonderful testimony and I encourage you to read it on their website! 

 Our Gifts From God

Congratulations!! 

I really am going to get back to blogging more often....I am.  Seems like I'm always pressed for time now, trying to "catch up" with our home schooling, so I just haven't made the time to do it as much.

Weight loss update.  I'm now down 10lbs.  This is the longest I've ever stuck with a diet, so this is major for me!  I'm hoping to see the 180's this week, but I'm not going to hold my breath on that one.  One thing I think I have discovered though is that my body needs for me to come off my diet ever so often.  It seems that If I stay strictly on my diet, my body just seems to STOP losing weight.  My mom told me to come off my diet a couple of days and see if my weight loss would start back.  So I did.  And she was right.  She usually is.  I had the opportunity to test this again last week.  I "cheated" on my diet 3 different times (in a big way...ate out all 3 times).  I still lost 2lbs.  Before cheating, I was actually closer to 4lbs weight loss!  So I'm happy about the fact that I can eat other foods besides Nutrisystem's sometimes. 

Mother's Day was great.  Ronnie, Stephen, Michael and Timothy worked their butts off on the yard, and it's looking so much better.   I've hated our yard since we moved here, and I'm just now beginning to see it turn into something I like. That was a GREAT Mother's Day gift.  However, I have to say Jessica get's my "favorite" Mother's Day award this year.  She told me so sweetly that morning before church, "Of all my mommies, you're my favorite and I love you best."  She'd had 5 different "Mommies" the year before she came to live with me, so I think it's a great honor that she feels this way about me.  I told you all awhile back, that I've learned with older child adoption, it's not about just us picking the kids...it's about the kids picking us too.  I think I've been "picked". 

Josh is giving me some lip since the adoption, and we've....let me rephrase that....I've had to deal with some very tough parenting/discipline decisions.  We believe in spanking.  Normal, non-abusive, spankings.  However, I'm not sure that I need to do this with Josh.  Jessica, no problem.  She actually equated this with being our "real" child, so she almost looked forward to it.  I doubt we'll ever do a lot of spanking though.  So far she had 1 swat on the leg because she undid the top of her carseat while I was going down the I 20 at 70mph, and refused to buckle it until I pulled off the road. 

Josh is different.  I'm not sure what to do with him.  He thrives on positive reinforcement, but he still does naughty stuff.  Timeouts only seem to make him angrier.  In fact, ANY kind of punishment makes him angrier.  So I finally gave him 2 licks the other day.  One for lying (repeatedly....blatantly....and tried to get his sister to lie for him also.) and then one for his angry attitude/countenance.  I wasn't sure what I should do during the confrontation, but after the second lick, he angry countenance melted away and his awful attitude totally changed.  I don't know if we'll spank him much at all.  It will be a very rare thing I'm sure.  But I think I did the right thing that time.  He was soooooooo much happier after that. 

Now for some big news!  Michael got his LEARNER'S PERMIT!  Yep.  You read correctly.  I know what you are thinking.  "Michelle can't POSSIBLY have a child old enough to drive"  After all, I've celebrated my 29th birthday like, 7 times.  But alas, it is true.  My oldest son is now on the road to becoming an independent little squirt.  I'm very proud of him.  He missed only 3 problems on the test (out of 40).  And even driving to church (which in only like 4 miles of country roads away) has become an adventure. He'd kill me if I told you about him running off the road, so I won't mention that.  Or how he almost pulled out in front of a vehicle.  So I won't tell you all about that at all.  He really is doing well.  I think he will be a better driver than his Mom eventually! 

Okay, here the quick update for the rest of the family.

Ronnie's at a work meeting and he took Michael (he drove of course), Josh, Jessica and Hannah.  It's like a picnic meeting and Michael will babysit, if it means he gets to drive, lol.

Stephen's sick and has a fever and sore throat.  His interest in soccer has been renewed this season and he LOVES his coach this year.

Timothy is own restriction for about half his life.  But he can be so sweet.  He wrote made me the sweetest card for Mother's Day. 

Sarah is doing great and begging for my chicken soup that's cooking.  She's so adorable and she's doing wonderful in school.

Josh is doing better in school!  His teacher wrote on the bottom of his progress report, "Wow!  What an improvement!"  In spite of his bad attitude lately, he's been a total "mama's boy".

Jessica is thriving under the permanency of a "forever" family.  She's still obssessed with food though.

Hannah is absolutely a joy!  She is soooo much fun.  She's mimicing everyone, loves Sponge Bob, is talking up a storm and thinks this entire family revolves around her.  It just about does. 

I'm home just for a few minutes but I wanted to tell everyone that today, at 9:00 a.m. we received our final notice for our adoption decree!  Praise God, our kids are now legally ours forever.  Jessica and Joshua are thrilled with this and can't wait to sleep with us tonight. 

Here is our first family picture with Judge Kirby.  Jessica's face got cut off at the bottom of the picture  I'll post more later....right now we're going to Jumping Jelly Bean to celebrate!   Love to you all, Michelle