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Mancunian Rhapsody

The 1995 Eric Cantona Attack

As told by Freddie Mercury's Ghost

to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody

This is not football, this is stupidity

He's lost his marbles, lost his touch with reality

Got a red card, looked out to the crowd and heard:-

"You're a french w**ker, go back to your own country."

He went mad, ran amok, gave the bloke no chance to duck

Showered him with hard blows in front of the millions of viewers

On TV....

Alex, Just kicked a fan

Put my boot into 'is chest, left six stud 'oles in 'is vest

Alex, they'll say I'm a nut,

And then they'll want to lock me all away.

 

Eric, Ooooooh-aaah!

This times its disrepute

But till, in 14 days you face the FA

Carry on, carry on, like nothing ever happened

Eric, I've got no choice

For the next 4 months your banned, and I fine you 20 grand

Eric, how d'you follow that

With boxing gloves or cosh or baseball bat?

 

Alex, ooooooooooh

I didn't want to play

I sometimes wish I'd never gone south at all

 

A Gentle Musical Bridge.........

I see an angry silly little french man

Oi you mush, oi you mush, you must take an early bath now

Eric moves like lightning, very very frightening me

Get him off me                       

 I will kill you

Get him off me                                     

I will kill you

Get him off me                                     

I will kill you,you must die

 You have to die-eye-eye-eye-eye!

He's just a french man, from a french family

Blame his gallic blood for this monstrosity

He is King, plays like a God, will you let him off

Please Millichip

NO, we will not let him off

Let him off, please Millichip

we will not let him off

Let him off, please Millichip

we will not let him off

will not let him off, will not let him off

Never never never let him ooo-ooo-ooo-oooff

No no no no no no NO!

 

He's a plonka, what a wonka,

and he only has one choice-

Look the bloke in the eye, and then apologise

Say sorry, say sorry, sorREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

A heavy rock musical bridge, with lots of headbanging....

So you think I was wrong to black 'is eyes

So you think I should kneel and apologise

No, Gary, I can't do that Gary

Just gotta get out, probably get sold to Italy

 

Just one final, calm, musical bridge....

 

It's all quite atrocious

Everyone agrees

Cantona was stupid

Let's send him straight back home to gay Paris.......

(showered him with hard blows.........)

Countdown Clock

but it might not be, so don't get your hopes up, just in case.

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