WRONG TURN 3: LEFT FOR DEAD (2009)

(Directed by Declan O'Brien)

"This film pretty much left the franchise left for dead....Sorry, I just had to say that somewhere in this review."- Signed by MartialHorror. 

Plot: Prison guards and convicts being transferred find themselves hunted by a mutant cannibal in the woods after their bus crashes.

Review:

Let it be known that I had no real desire to watch “Wrong Turn 3” and have only done so to prepare for “Wrong Turn 4”. Why do I want to see “Wrong Turn 4”? It takes place in the snow, which makes it awesome, even though it will likely suck. The second question is why would it take me so long to catch up on this franchise when I usually obsess over seeing every movie in any franchise (and that includes “Twilight”, which makes me sad)? After all, I did like the first two entries. “Wrong Turn” was intense and edgy and it's sequel was funny and entertaining. Well, as intense and edgy as “Wrong Turn” was, it was also simple minded and unoriginal. It was pretty much “The Hills Have Eyes” in the woods. Maybe it was the tired concept that turned me off to the sequels, even if I liked the original. It was the execution that made the first one good, not the concept, which is what sequels generally need to be worth it. When “Wrong Turn 2” was released direct-to-DVD, people presumed it would be a half assed version of the original. Much to our surprise, it turned out to be pretty fun! It took an overexposed idea and had fun with it. In 2009 they came out with “Wrong Turn 3” and...well, it's pretty much what we expected of “Wrong Turn 2”. It's a half-assed version of the original, but not quite as bad as everyone says.

In the first film, it was a bunch of youngsters who found themselves at the brutal mercy of mutated cannibals. In the second film, it was a reality TV show crew who found themselves at the brutal mercy of mutated cannibals (oh if that only happened to the Kardashians). What's the gimmick now? Well, a brutal criminal who has probably been locked up for life (Chavez; played by Tamer Hassan), plans to escape when he's transferred next week. Getting wind of this, prison guard Nate (Tom Frederic) and a few others are assigned to transfer him (among other prisoners) earlier than scheduled. Everything goes by smoothly at first, until their bus is driven off the road by a mutant cannibal. Now stranded in the middle of the woods, they have to work together to survive.

I will admit that the films first 5-10 minutes had me. Sure, the acting was weak and the director had no interest in building suspense, but almost immediately we introduced to a lovely pair of breasts, and then we get to see an arrow pierce through said breasts. What follows is some more gruesome gore effects, only marred by a certain shoddiness to the practical effects and crappy CGI for the CGI effects. Still, it was pretty fun in a guilty pleasure sort of way. Actually, do you know what? The whole movie is like this (except with less nudity). When it comes to slasher films, I'm easily pleased. Throw in some nudity and gore, your stupid ass slasher likely will receive passing grades me, so “Wrong Turn 3” earned a passing grade. While we're on the positives, the film moves pretty well and there are some stand-out moments of violence (trucks+barbwire= awesome!). The characters are interesting too, although they are pretty unlikable. At least they aren't forgettable faces, which is a good thing. What's wrong with it? Erm, everything else?

The films weaknesses start to show instantly as the plot begins. We realize that it's focusing a bit too much on people talking, and they either are bad actors or they have awful dialogue. The dialogue is pretty inane, sometimes becoming hilariously awful (“I can sense his presence!”). The actors probably aren't as bad as this movie makes them out to be, but they simply can't make this dialogue work. The script itself keeps bringing attention to how awkward the dialogue is. It's all redundant too, rehashing the same events and lines over and over again. The guard will try to do something to foil the inmates, Chavez knocks him down and says something like “Don't fuck with me! I'll kill you next time” and this seems to go on one hundred times. I usually wouldn't focus so much on the dialogue in a horror film, especially when it's more lazy than just flat out awful, because who watches a slasher film for dialogue? But this movie just keeps drawing attention too it, so it needed to be said. 

Beyond that, I think the reason why so many people dislike “Wrong Turn 3” is just that it's written as a lazy slasher film. The characters are mostly stereotypes (but as I said, interesting stereotypes) with the only one really earning my sympathy being the token black guy (guess how long he lives?). They do stupid shit to keep the script progressing, they yell loudly for no reason, they threaten each other and die gruesomely and the process continues. I also love how the heroine survives in the woods for awhile, but when we're reintroduced to her, she just keeps yelling “I can't go on any farther!” over and over again. Aren't female leads supposed to be badass? But the absolute funniest trait of this movie is...*snickers*...It actually has subtext. The film is warning us of the dangers of money and greed throughout the whole damn movie. This culminates in two of the most laughable scenes. The first is when they find a 60 year old armored car and find an assload of $100 bills. Perhaps the money wouldn't have rotted away, but the bills wouldn't look brand new! Finally, the last scene was a retarded addition as it makes us ask too many questions. I was like: "Hey, props to this movie for going against my expectatio- oh wait, it just served expectations. Damn. Wait, Why did (question)? How is (question)? When is this (question)? Where (did the blood come from)?" I only spelled out the last question because people who have seen the film will know what I speak of, but I don't want to spoil it for people who haven't seen it. But warning us of the dangers of capitalism just doesn't belong in a movie like this. There is nothing more amusing than a pretentious splatter film. Actually, scratch that, there is nothing more amusing than a stupid, pretentious splatter film.

The comedy that was present in “Wrong Turn 2” is mostly absent, although I'm not complaining. I'm pretty sure if "Wrong Turn 3" tried to be funny, it would've just been obnoxious. Playing it dead serious for a sloppy slasher like this was the smarter thing to do. Yet somehow, the director can't even sustain that tone. For one, the mutant cannibal sucks. He was apparently one of the cannibals in the first two films, but I never remember hating any of them. He's supposed to be scary, but the makeup looks awful and his cackling is too silly to take seriously. Imagine if “Halloween” replaced Michael Myers with Mike Myers and watch all of that suspense and spookiness instantly vaporize due to the silliness. Keep goofy villains out of serious horror films!

(NOTE: The following sentences contain minor spoilers about one of the supporting characters)

Yet the film's other sense of humor is largely misogynistic. I didn't mind the arrow-in-the-breast scene. Slashers exploit women, sure, but stuff like that is difficult to take seriously. Yet the film has an empowered female deputy who responds to a prisoners sexual taunting that she would not like to be tied up (to where she can't move; can't remember the exact words) before throwing him in jail. Later on, the cannibal has captured the female lead (Janet Montgomery) and presumably intends to rape her, but is interrupted. We then see the deputy, wrapped up in barb-wire and naked, so it's probably safe to presume that she's been raped. When you think of that earlier bit of dialogue, one has to wonder: Did “Wrong Turn 3” make some sort of rape joke? The foreshadowing itself is sort of meant to be funny when it happens (although I expected her to say something more witty, she just says "well, I don't!"), but it's payoff was in horrible taste. But bleh, maybe I'm giving the film too much credit. My point is, the film is generally serious, but it's few attempts at being funny are weak. 

 

The directing is sort of bland, but I'd also say it's 'almost' competent. To compare it to the first two films (again), the direction by Rob Schmidt (“Wrong Turn”) made that movie epic. It was sheer, ambitious intensity that elevated it's 'eh' script. Joe Lynch (“Wrong Turn 2”) lacked that edge, but had the better script. He merely injected things with raw energy and that was enough. Declan O'Brien (“Wrong Turn 3”) ironically had the most experience of the three, but he's a 'made for TV' director. In fact, most of these films appear to be scyfy original features. The main prerequisite of being a scy-fy original director is that you have to pretty much suck. But it's not THAT bad here. He attempts to keep things moody and atmospheric and sometimes he even succeeds. But for the most part, it's just bland. The best thing I can say about him is that his direction doesn't backfire and harm the movie. It rarely adds anything, but the only major fault there is his use of CGI for some of the gore bits. Otherwise, he did what he could with a lame script. Sadly (for me), he's the director of “Wrong Turn 4”, so my expectations have been lowered. But at least he did a movie called “Sharktopus”, and that title just sounds awesome.

Really, that's all I have to say about “Wrong Turn 3”. It's predecessors were slasher films made for slasher fans. They were movies us gorehounds good enjoy at the absolute least. "Wrong Turn 3" is also a slasher film made for slasher fans, having all the elements we either love or accept within the genre. But instead of being a slasher for slasher fans to enjoy, it's one of those slashers that slasher fans can tolerate. It's got gore, nudity and isn't jarringly incompetent. Fans are furious with this movie because the first two- like them or not- were inspired and you could see the effort put into them. "Wrong Turn 3" is one of those sequels where the only inspiration comes in the form of money making. We fans would watch it regardless of its quality, and the filmmakers knew it. It's a ploy fans just cannot forgive. But if it was its own movie, I'd just give it an indifferent wave of the hand, stating that it's acceptable as a slasher. Because honestly, it is. 

Violence: Rated R worthy. Based on memory, the film is more gory than the first film, but not as gory as the second film. The first film was far more brutal, however, constantly making me wince. I only really cringed once or twice in this movie. Still, while the CGI dampens things, the gore here was enough.

Nudity: Two sets of breasts!

Overall: “Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead” is worth watching if you're a fan of the first two, but don't expect much. If you like slashers, check out the first two for sure and watch this based off your opinions of them.

2/4 Stars