ALIEN VS NINJA (2009)

(Directed by Seiji Chiba)

"Awesomely stupid."- Signed by MartialHorror. 

 

Plot: An elite Squad of ninja investigate a comet that crashed near their village, only to find themselves preyed upon by a mysterious alien.

Review:

All you have to do is mention the title of “Alien Vs Ninja” and you can bet I'll check it out as soon as possible. Unless it turns out to be some love story like “Twilight”, which sadly I can almost see happening, it will be hard to keep me away from it. Even if the reviews are bad! In the actual case of “Alien Vs Ninja”, the reviews were somewhat polarized. The general consensus seemed to either “bad” or “bad, but it's good at being bad”. Now that I've seen the film, I can see why. It is a pretty awful movie, but it's also pretty fun. I can't guarantee what the movie will do for you but if you decide to venture out and watch it, just remember that you're watching a silly, slapstick comedy that has a lot of fighting, gore and bizarre sexual imagery. Maybe if you keep that in mind, you will laugh your ass off with (at) it.

 

Yamata (Masanori Mimoto) and Jinnai (Shuuji Kashiwabara) are two hot shot ninja with epic skills. Indeed, we first see Yamata slaying a group of enemy ninja with apparent ease. But Yamata is also a bit too cocky and eager for battle, in contrast to Jinnai's more level headed approach to things. They are sent by their village to assist another ninja team in investigating a mysterious fireball in the sky. But before they even arrive, they are beset by an alien who yearns to kill them or impregnate them. Can they fight their extraterrestrial enemy off? Or will they die in the process?

 

The first thing you notice is how shoddy the production values are. “Alien Vs Ninja” feels almost like it was made for TV. The quality of the film is rather awkward and the visual effects are pretty laughable. The CGI looks like something I would've seen in a Playstation (1) video game and the aliens are clearly guys in rubber suits. The alien designs obviously are inspired by “Alien”, which makes the fakeness look even worse. The second thing you notice is that it feels like you're watching “Power Rangers” in terms of the characters mannerisms. In this movie, there is no subtlety. Characters strike goofy poses that I think are supposed to be cool but are just...goofy. You'll have to endure the films strange vision of what comedy is too, which ranges from perverse to morbid. It is a bad film that only seems to get worse in terms of sheer stupidity.

But I loved every minute of it.

Yes, it's bad. Yes, it's silly, but it knows it and it knows you know it. The filmmakers probably knew they lacked the budget to do something epic, so just decided to have a lot of fun. Us, the viewers, are supposed to have a lot of fun with them. I grew to adore the shoddy production values, it's Power Rangers-esque posing, and bizarre comic relief. But beyond that, I actually enjoyed watching the ninja interact with each other. They were fun and interesting, even the annoying blond guy. The fight scenes weren't half bad either. Sometimes they were actually smooth and inspired. There is even one effective scene where you feel a harrowing sense of dread (a twist that the blond guy discovers). The films most hilarious aspect though is the sexual imagery. There isn't any explicit sex or nudity, but the film seems to be parodying the subversive imagery films like to sneak in. A good example of a movie that does this excessively is “Death Trance” (coincidentally penned by this director), which has sword handles resembling male genitalia and the final fight looking like a sex scene. This film has a blast with that kind of stuff. Expect a lot of phallic symbols if you choose to give this one a watch. 

 

Liking or hating “Alien Vs Ninja” comes down to what you think about its sense of humor. You might find it annoying, but you also might find it to be rather amusing and funny. I found the film to be awful, but within its awfulness, I found it to be consistently entertain. Sometimes there was something even good too appreciate. The fights are stellar and the characters are fun. But comedy is highly subjective so you might find it aggravating too. Watching "Alien Vs Ninja" is a gamble because you might like it or hate it. I just consider it to be a modern day "Troll 2". It's bad, but at least it's fun because it's bad.

Violence: Rated R. Pretty gory at times.

Nudity: None, but as I said, there's a lot of sexual imagery.

Overall: “Alien Vs Ninja”, as much as I hate to refer to this claim, is "so bad it's good". I had fun, but make no mistake, it is pretty atrocious.

2/4 Stars