1. Why do iraqi ships have glass bottoms?

So they can see the Navy.

2. Saddam Hussain got hit by a bomb and was sent to hospital. They told his lookalikes the good news is that he is not dead. the bad news is he's lost a leg.     HaHa get it.....

3. Why is it easy to train Iraqi pilots?

Because you only have to teach them how to take off.

4. how do you play Iraqi bingo?

F-16, B-52, F-16                      It took me a while to get that one.

5. What has 90 balls and makes women sweat?

Bingo

6. Why were males created before females?

Because you need a rough draft before the final copy.

7. What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

There have been sightings of UFO's.

8. Newsflash: a blonde women got thrown out of a banana plantation. She tried to throw out all the bent ones.

9. Hear about the blonde that got AM radio. It took her a month to reliase she ould play it at night.

10. How do you make a blonde laugh on saturday?

tell her a joke on tuesday.

11. Why do they call it PMS?

Because mad cow disease was already taken

Yo mama jokes

1. Yo mamas so fat everytime she turns round its her birthday.

2. Yo momas so stupid she got locked in the  bathroom and wet herself.

3. Yo momas so stupid she got locked in Asda and starved to death.

4. Yo momas so short she tried to committ suicide off a match box.

5. Yo momas so fat at a party she is used as a bouncy castle.

6. Yo momas so old she farts out dust.

7. Yo momas so stupid she mised the 22 bus so caught the 11 bus twice.

8. Yo momas so stupid she tried to drown a fish.

9. Yo momas so stupid she got locked in a furniture store and slept on the floor.

10. Yo momas so stupid she tried to throw a rock at the floor and missed.

11. Yo momas so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.

12. Yo momas so stupid she got hit by a parked car.

13. Yo momas alot like a shotgun, one cock and she explodes.

14. Yo momas like a doorknob, everyones had a turn.

15. Yo momas so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out.

16. Yo momas so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch a 60 minute film.

17. Yo moma is so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

More Jokes from the painster

What did the one lift say to the other? I think im coming down with something.

Why do iraqis carry shit in their pockets? For identification.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? With tyranasaurouschex

Why do dwarfs smile when they play football? because the grass tickles their balls.

Whats black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra

Whats green, long, slimey, and smells of pork? Kermit the frogs finger.

What do you call a dear with no eyes? No idea

What do you call a tight roping indian? Balan Singh

Whats brown and found in a baby's nappy? Michael jacksons hand.

What did the mother say to michael jackson at the beach? get out of my sun

How does Michael jackson pick his nose? Out of a catalogue

Whats the difference between Mr potato and michael jackson? Michael jackson has more noses

When is it bed time at Michael jacksons house? When the big hands on the little hand

What do you do if Michael jacksons drowning? Throw him a buoy

Townie/Chav Jokes because we all know there stupid.

Why should you not knock a townie off his bike? It might be yours

Whats the first question at a townie quiz night? What you lookin at

What do you call a townie in a box? Innit

What do you call a townie in a metal box? Safe

What do you call a 12 year old townie girl? Pregnant

What do you say to a townie in a suit? May the defendant please rise

What do you say to a townie with a job? Big mac and fries please