The reason why my depressions started is because I was born with CP. For people that don't know a thing about CP: it's disablitiy (spelling) that effects the brain, and the nervous system. People that have really bad cases of CP are in wheelchairs, can't talk, can't walk, can't hold pencil so on and so on. Basically people with CP can NOT take care of themself. Unless you have light to mile CP, where it effects you but not as bad. For example I have light CP, I can do everything on my own, but there are limits do want I can do like to bring a full cup of coffee to a table, that I can do but I have to take my time with the cup.

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Growning up wasn't easy. I went to a "normal" school in which didn't help me all that much. It was hard to learn, because I needed specails classes in which the school didn't have. I lived in a small town, and that was the only engilsh school there. It was a vary small school only 305 kids and that was from K to grade 11 (here we go up to grade 11). I had NO friends at school, I was VARY anti-social.

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Home wasnt easy too. My father abusive towards me, and only me it seemed, my mother would ALWAYS take his side over mine. I mean I wasnt the easiest kids to handle, I'll amit that. He was abusive to me right up until I was 13. I called Youth Protection, well not me the scoial worker did her name was Anne. I'd had been seeing Anne for about a year, when I told her to call. My parents got so mad at her for calling YP, that they had forbidden me to EVER seeing her again. Anne was the only one I would talk to, and be honest about things.  Anne left the year that YP came to see if my house was safe for me to live there. My parents said everything was fine and I stayed home, but no one knew what was really happening in the house, and that my father was abusing me (not sexually).

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Anne: Was the only person that I would actaully talk to about anything. And when she did leave that year I went nuts. I went into a major depression and it was only at thst time did I realize thats was the name for it. Anne was the friend I had the ONLY friend I had. Put it this way, you and your best  friend in the entire world get into a fight, and you want to say that your sorry but your friend isnt there anymore. How do you FEEL? Anger that you didnt come forwards sooner, sad that you could have said what you wanted to say but didnt. Thats the way I felt when Anne left, and thats the best explaination on how I felt about Anne. After 5 years it is still hunting me, but not as much as it when it first did. She had left that year, and we didnt see eachother ever again, but the thing is that I would dream yes I said dream, dream of her EVERY NIGHT! it was not funny. It drove me nuts, just to see her face because I would think about her, everytime I dream about her.