Oshkosh Clothing
End of story.
So, cripplemonsters of the world, listen the hell up. Just because some crybaby who couldn't hobble his/her sorry ass into the grocery store sued to get your asses preferential parking doesn't mean you get to drive like a drunken idiot. Nor does it give you right to try running people off the road who don't immediately let you pass them because you were tailgating them at 85mph.
Fuck that. You don't see dedicated parking for "normals" now do you?
HELL NO.
And i don't think i've EVER seen a trooper pull over a person with "i am an asshole" plates either. What the shit gives? The fucker's incapable of walking, not taking responsibility for being an asshole!
Then there's this bullshit for people getting handicap parking stickers/plates just because they have some kind of fucked up condition with their body. They walk just fine to me, yet something qualified them for cripples-only spots. My grandfather had a fuggin heart attack in '88. HE never got a gimp ticket. Why the fuck should you? That shit's left for people who can't walk.
If you're missing a leg or your back's fucked up or SOMETHING that's impairing your ability to walk. THEN you should get a fucking handicap plate. If you sucked down too many cigarettes and now you gotta drag around an oxygen tank, that means you are a fucking moron and you shouldn't be parking in one of those spots. It's real simple. If you are fat, you are not handicapped. You're a fat fuck, lose some weight. You don't deserve to park closer just because your sorry ass can't resist twinkies. End of story.
On top of that, it seems they'll hand any asshole a driver's license these days. I mean total RETARDS get their licenses. Proof Positive that a Retard is smarter than state DMV employees nationwide. Guess I figured out where they get their employees, eh? The Rainbow Room at the local High School. If your registered IQ is lower than that of mayonaise (which, btw, has an IQ of 2), do you think you should be allowed to drive? hmmmmmm.... Let's think about this, if you have a few too many chromosomes or you're just flat out STUPID--- it's not safe for the normals to drive around you! These days all you have to do is be able to sign the dotted line and pay the money. The road test people will always fail you the first time but you're golden the second time. What the shit gives?!
Then there's the blind ass elderly. 'nuff said.
There should be some kind of lottery that's held every year and if your number's pulled, you get a road test with the biggest asshole State Trooper in your local area. That'd be real damn nice. Take a lot of needless traffic off the road, get the fuckheads off the road and on the short bus where they belong...
And I'd be free to drive unabated without fear of getting wiped the fuck out by a fat fuck with a cripple plate.
So here's the long and short of it:
If you are stupid ---Don't drive.
If you are handicapped ---you aren't special, don't drive like a fuckin asshole.
If you ain't handicapped and you still got a crippleplate ---fuck you. die.
If you're old ---get your damn kids to drive you if you can't drive right
If you are a retard ---get back on the short bus.
NUFF SAID.
This has been the Gospel according to Max
Now get out of my fucking way, asshole!
Number of assholes who shouldn't be on the road: