Short Story Reviews

Below is a new section of the website. If you like, or don't like any of my stories, send me an email telling me what you think about it and I'll add it to this page. The story being reviewed below is my short story "Ambush," which was published in the April-May-June 2008 issue of The Storyteller Magazine. This story is not available online. You must subscribe to the magazine or purchase the individual issue to read it. Click here to visit The Storyteller Magazine and order your copy today.

A Reader Reviews

By UncBub

I like the story, "Ambush," published in the April-May-June 2008 issue of Storyteller Magazine, and not just because my nephew, Matthew Pizzolato, wrote it.

As a reader, I think the story is telling us all that glitters (such as a pretty woman) is not gold. Look beneath the surface in any situation, just like our hero Con did.

The story is about a conniving woman, Jesse, who influences two men, Connor and Samuel, leading them both into a deadly gunfight.

Jesse and Sam want to declare Mr. Hayden (who is sick with pneumonia) incompetent and sell the ranch out from under him, while high-tailing it to New Orleans, Paris or London. The real kicker is that Mr. Hayden is Jesse's father. That's one evil woman, no matter how hot she is!

So, in the end, despite being strongly attracted to her, Connor, in intense physical and emotional pain, leaves her after the big gun fight and heads on down the road to mend his wounds.

The interesting thing about the story's conflict is both internal (Connor's feelings for her) and external (she's a real bitch, causing trouble all over the ranch). I love that kind of conflict mix in any story, the inner and the outer, which is not easy for a writer to pull off.

This is a story that satisfies the reader, despite beginning-to-end tension throughout the plot line. The story opens with Con soon wounded and in pain, shot off his horse by Sam in an early murder attempt gone awry. In fact, Con is wounded so early, we don't really get a look at him when he is not in crisis mode. Nevertheless, this dynamic works well for most of the plotline, particularly the exciting climax of the story.

The well-matched rivals are the story's main strength. The story blazes a trail for the reader from beginning to end, with a wounded, well-armed main character, along with a physically imposing antagonist-not to mention a woman of absolute treachery.

Sam's character description right away tells us of his physical stature and obnoxious personality. He is not the kind of man who is going to be taken in a fist fight. Therefore, astute writing has tipped us off that gunplay is likely ahead, adding to the dramatic tension early on.

Still, the protagonist Connor is tough and resourceful, binding his own serious head injury with his shirt sleeve at one point while proceeding on to handle the situation.

In addition, we soon learn that Connor's father had abandoned him early in life by going off to fight for the Confederacy, never to return. Therefore, Connor has the inner anger any abandoned child grown to adulthood would have. This kind of psychological characterization heightens interest in both character and plot.

In fact, this psychological component ties into the parental maltreatment of Mr. Hayden by his own daughter. Con feels like Mr. Hayden is a surrogate father, and he surely cares more for the old man than does Jesse. His anger grows right along with her treachery.

The plot is skillfully constructed so that all three characters eventually collide with dramatic and exciting precision in the gun fight leading to the antagonist Sam's death. The fight also serves to remove the physical danger Mr. Hayden may have faced from Sam. The big oaf is on the losing end of the gun fight, with two shots that "nicked the inside corner of Sam's shirt pocket." Con survives but with his previously earned head wound, and he refuses tenderly offered medical help from the ever- manipulative Jesse.

Connor leaves the enraged Jesse alone with her father in the end, with Mr. Hayden unaware of her conniving. However, we as readers assume Connor cares enough to return to the ranch after he is mended. Yet one never knows how safe Mr.Hayden is, left alone with a woman who has just conspired against her own father. More importantly, the story is well-constructed enough to get the reader to thinking of the characters beyond the ending.

My favorite secondary character is the "eastern-looking dude." He surely represents the evil intentions of the plotting group. In the Old West, "the East" represented an untrustworthy lot. So, I like the appearance of the "dude," however brief. He forcefully disappears from the story's radar at the point of Connor's gun, stunned at having witnessed the gunfight. This is a solidly conceived minor character who offers insight to other characters. The easterner reminded me of the role of the enabling gun shop owner in Matthew's story, "Vengeance is Mine." Such brief but effective character appearances are becoming his strong point, and I'll keep looking for more of this as a fan of his work. I actually gave some thought to what happened to both of these characters after they exited the story's stage, and that is a good measure of a successful minor character.

As for the down side of the story, I would have liked to have seen some kind of beginning where we see the earlier history of Connor and Jesse, when he is enamored and in love with her. She could appear to be in love with him, and later, maybe about mid-story, we could be more surprised at a role reversal with a one-two punch - he, disillusioned by her false love and she, not the loving gal we readers thought she was.

So, sprinkling a little more mystery for the reader to wonder about can only help. As it is, Connor is not only wounded early in the story, he also catches on early to Jesse and Sam's conniving. Therefore, a portion of the plot is sort of "spilled" too soon for the reader as well.

Ironically, the story's wicked, early pace throws the reader right into the thick of an evil plan, an attempted murder and a wounding, before we’ve sorted things out. But a solid middle, with a potent climax and ending (and that "eastern dude") more than redeem the story, especially with Jesse's "I hate you!" near the last paragraph, which likely hurt Con more than his wound, though he'd never admit it. As things play out, Jesse denies knowing that Sam shot Con, while blaming Sam for the whole thing, but as to whether she's being honest, well, you be the judge. But I don't think I need to remind you that this is one "witchy woman," with sparks flying from her fingertips, as the Eagles' song goes.

Most important of all, this is a well-crafted, quality story that any reader of any genre would enjoy. Writing skills, an interesting theme, and a creative, interesting plot, grasp the reader throughout the story for an exciting conclusion that pays off well for the reader. No wonder Storyteller Magazine published it!

The story reviewed above was originally published in The Storyteller Magazine. Order your copy today.