I don't know exactly how it started, but my guess was Capcom had a certain employee (for the sake of argument, let's call him "Johnson") that came up with a "plot" for a new Mega Man game. I believe the conversation might have gone like this:
Johnson: Hey, Boss! I just came up with a new game!
Exec: Great! We wanted a game for the Super Nintendo... so, what do you got for us?
J: I call it "Mega Man Soccer"!
E: Alright... so what's the plot?
J: The what?
And so, Mega Man Soccer was born!
The point of the game is to command Mega Man clones around a field, battling Dr. Wily and bad game mechanics for truth, justice, and the ability to control one player for more than five seconds! You are armed with the ability to body slam opponents and shoot power shots by magically transferring power from your buster to your foot. Seriously, how well thought out is that, Capcom? Mega Man could just shoot the crap out of anyone in the goal! In fact, they should have added that as a bonus level...
So, time to talk about the plot (or lack thereof). Dr. Wily has gone mad (crazy mad, not "I'm getting revenge on Mega Man" mad, but senile) and decided he's going to take over the world by playing soccer (football for our foreign friends). How does one accomplish this? Kidnapping the soccer superstar no one's heard of? Stealing money from patrons like Lupin III? Stealing every soccer ball and coating them with poison, demanding billions for the antidote? NO! He decided that he will play a normal game of soccer. Dr. Light, being the fat, lazy couch potato that he is, won't tolerate his favorite game being taken over by Dr. Wily. Besides, the only other thing on in Monsteropolis is Big Brother 32, and watching that would be a fate worse than death... So, Light equips Mega Man with armor and a helmet and says "Good enough!" Before Mega Man leaves, Dr. Light lets the rest of his "slave Mega Men" (the ones that are sitting around until the Mega Man out dies, in which one of them takes his place) join Mega Man's team of justice! Wow... what a thrilling plot! Good one, Johnson!
Now, actual game play isn't as screwed up as the plot, but it's still pretty bad. Every five seconds, the computer gets bored and decides to have fun messing with your head by switching what character you're controlling. One second, your Pharaoh Man, then POOF! Mega Man. POOF! Needle Man. POOF! Wood Man. By then, the opposite team has scored on you, and you're still thinking "Who the heck am I?" But this can only ever happen twice. The game allows each team two power shots to send the goalie into convulsions, rendering them as helpless as anyone playing Mega Man X6 (man... bad memories... bad game design...)! The computer's as incompetent as Johnson, so the only way they can score a goal is by means of cheese (Yeah, that's right! Power shoots are cheesy!). The player, on the other hand, is granted a magical device Johnson lacks: a brain! With this magic voodoo called thinking and motor skills, you can outmaneuver the other player's goalie, scoring in the double digits almost every game! Fun!
The actual game is still kinda weird... in order to add more teammates to the roster, you need to beat their team. Then, one member will turn blue and join your team, followed by the phrase "HAS JOINED YOUR TEAM!" No, they don't have the player's name, just "HAS JOINED YOUR TEAM!" It doesn't really matter who's on your team, though. The computer is always delighted to switch to that one person you hate but decide to have on your team anyway (Prime example: Toad Man. If Toad Man's on your team, you will always be Toad Man!).
Them's quite a few Wilys!
Now I'm going to discuss the ending, so THE REMAINDER OF THIS PARAGRAPH HAS SPOILERS! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING, SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH!! Everyone gone? Okay, after you get by eight Dr. Wilys (I'm not sure how that works, unless they're clones, but that doesn't explain why I can chop him up and he still come back to life. If they're all robots, then where's Wily?), you get one AWESOME, KICK BUTT ENDING SCENE!!! You can view the image here. To the untrained eye, it could look like the title screen. Heck, to the trained eye it looks like the title screen. That's because it is the title screen. Capcom was too drained after coming up with that thrilling plot to come up with an ending! Either that, or we've got Couch Potato Light on the Capcom team. Oh, well. At least when you get by Tournament mode, you get a big ol' CONGARTULATIONS! No, I didn't misspell it.
On to the ratings!
Plot: 2 / 10
--Seriously, you expect us to buy that plot (silly Johnson...)? At least they tried (or we're assuming they tried)...
Game Play: 6 / 10
--You switch players every few seconds whether you like it or not (not my idea of good game play!). However, when you get the ball, the mechanics are alright...
Graphics: 8 / 10
--I can tell who everyone is (and they actually look pretty good!)! "Bomber Man" (Bomb Man to everyone who's not Johnson) looks a little odd, and the animation looks more choppy than normal, which is why I docked two points.
Fun: 9 / 10
--I always have fun when I play this game (even if most of it's derived from making fun of the plot... fun is fun, though). You just can't play too long, or it gets dull and monotonous.
Overall: 25 / 40
--Good, but not great. If you don't care about the plot (that means you like the X series), this game can be alright, but you still have the pathetic game mechanics when your team is on defense.
And for those wondering, Johnson went on to make plots for Mega Man X from Episode 6 on. Makes me sick...
