1. Play Mario games.
2. Make Mario comics.
3. Collect Mario merchandice.
4. Go to cool Mario and Nintendo sites.
5. WATCH HYOOTOOOB POOOP

It would be impossible to interview Mario.

Person: Hi Mario!

Mario: Hi.

P: How's life goin'?

M: Okay but, I went on my computer and I saw so much crap about me that makes me look like some kind of sad, angry clown! What's up with that?!

P: Mario... thos people are-.

M: I never even held a shotgun!

P: I know.

M: Yoshi! Why don't make him running around with a gun?!

P: How does this make you feel?

M: As angry as italian plumbers get!

P: I understand.

M: Nobody respects me anymore.

P: I know.

M: Are you saying that I'm not cool?!

P: Go unclog some pipe and eat pasta!

M: Shut up, fatty!

P: I'm not fat but, you are! Ha! Ha!

M: I don't need this. 

Interviewer: Our guest today is the Mario bro., Luigi!

(Clapping)

Luigi: Thank a you!

Interviewer: How do you like player 2?

Luigi: HOW DO YOU THINK I LIKE IT?!  By the time I even get to play Mario rescued the princess!

Interviewer: But in Super Mario Allstars: Super Mario Bros. you take turns.

Luigi: Of course we do! I brought Miyamato to court. How else would I afford my kart?

Interviewer: I never thought about it that way.

Luigi: Well I sorta gotta go.

Interviewer: Why?

Luigi: Well, I wanna be a better dancer than Mario in DDR: Mario Mix!

Interviewer: Fine. I guess the 15 minutes of the show will be Twinkie commercials.

Luigi: Good luck with that.

Interviewer: Good afternoon Mr. Koopa.

Koopa: ASK ME A QUESTION! I GOTTA BE AT MY KID'S LITTLE LEAGUE GAME AT FOUR!

Interviewer: Uh, yes, um, Mr. Koopa.  This has been on my mind for years,-

Koopa: -WHAT!?

Interviewer: Is there any reason why you kidnap the princess every other week?

(Koopa begins to sob)

Koopa: Well, um.... I'M LONELY! WAHHHHAHHHAHH, "sniffle."

Interviewer: Lonely?

Koopa: Well... yeah. Ever since I was banned from my book club in '84.

Interviewer: Banned? Why?

Koopa: I lost my copy of "The DaVinci Code."

Interviewer: Oh, that's too bad.

Koopa: I WAS ENJOYING IT!

Interviewer: Okay, next question, what happened to "Koopatone" or "Koopa Kola"?

Koopa: Also, for a brief month, I endorsed Nike brand shoes?

Interviewer: Well?

(Koopa gets out of his seat and is about to strangle the interviewer)

Koopa: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO PUSH BOWSER: KING OF KOOPAS! AND NOW YOU MUST SUFFER THE PUNISHMENT!

(Mario comes swinging by a rope breaking through the large window and tackles Koopa)

Interviewer: I think my... um.. wife is calling me!

(The interviewer runs off stage as Mario smashes Koopa's face to the dirty wood floor)

Mario: That's all folks!