Children's illustrated story (Story and drawings are all my own.)
Farmer Brown's Animals (this is the old version; for the new one, go to the home page)
Farmer Brown's Animals By Mario S. Fedele Copyright 2004
Some of the animals on Farmer Brown's farm were really annoyed with him. And they had a great big bone to pick.
The hens were the most annoyed with Farmer Brown. They were sick and
tired of him taking away their eggs every day. All that hard work on
their part and nothing to show for it! So they had a meeting.
One fluttered her feathers and shouted, "What shall we do about Farmer Brown?" After some thinking, another fluttered her feathers and shouted back, "Keep our eggs away from him!" So it was resolved that they'd guard their eggs to the last one. One group decided to hide the eggs.A few went for fancy measures such as hoisting them onto the barn loft. Some sought to shelter them by getting them atop Farmer Brown's dwelling and settingthem in the eaves. One daring chicken even hauled them up to tree limbs. Others went for less demanding ideas--like throwing the eggs far into the pond or deep downthe well. How they'd ever retrieve them was anybody's guess. But for the moment they'd be safe and sound, which was all that mattered. Another group decided to get the eggs as far away from Farmer Brown as possible. They laid them carefully in deposit boxes at the local bank, moved them into storage on padded transporttrucks, and sent them via armed guard to Fort Knox where all the gold was securely kept. Some shipped them by Fedex to nice, warm places such as Florida, Hawaii, Jamaica, and South America even. It sure was a lot of work for the hens, but they never felt more content. The horses were another group who were quite annoyed with Farmer Brown. Their taste buds had grown dull from being always fed the same old boring junk, oats and hay! So they had a meeting. One stamped his foot and shouted, "What shall we do about Farmer Brown?" After some thinking, another stamped his foot and shouted back, "Find ourselves better food!" So it was resolved that a variety in their diet was called for. They head for Farmer Brown's kitchen and raided the fridge. They gobbled up all the fruits, finished off a great big roast, had all the cold cuts, and stuffed
themselves with an assortment of cheeses. They even ate the veggies,
including the broccoli and spinach. Finally, they washed it down with
every sort of beverage they could find.
Since a few of the bottles contained wine, they became slightly tipsy.
But they were not driving. So it did not matter.
They had so much fun, that next day, they decided to order out. They
ordered a dozen pizzas, 10 buckets of fried chicken, and 5 jumbo packs
of Chinese food. They also asked for 20 large bottles of pop, but no wine
When all the food arrived, they made Farmer Brown pay for it. Then they
dug in. They ate every last morsel that had been delivered and had a
feast to rival a king's. The horses enjoyed their new diet so much that they could not wait for the next day to come.
The sheep were another bunch that had a grave annoyance with Farmer
Brown. The crazy fool kept shaving them bald every time they'd grown a
nice new coat of wool!
So they had a meeting. One bobbed its head and shouted, "What shall we do about Farmer Brown?" After some thinking, another bobbed its head and shouted back, "Make sure he doesn't get our wool!" So it was resolved that Farmer Brown was never putting his clippers to their precious wool again.
Some groups chose to wear clothing to prevent Farmer Brown from getting
at their woolly coats. A few dressed up in smart business suits, though
most preferred a more casual look.
For some nothing but the latest in fashions would do. Others required
tons of accessories, like make-up and jewelry, to go along with their
There were a few who wanted a bolder look and so draped themselves in
punk gear, including nose rings and choke collars. Several actually donned monster costumes in the hopes of frightening Farmer Brown off. One even dared to sport a wolf's skin to scare the man away. Other groups chose different methods to keep Farmer Brown off their backs. A small number dyed their coats with permanent dye in a rainbow of colors so that the wool would be of no use.
Some used oodles of gel and took to spiking their woolly coats. Others
went for braids and bangles.
One desperate creature even endured a tar and feathering to keep Farmer Brown away. The sheep were quite a sight to behold, but none minded since, for now, they still had their full coats of wool to wear. Word soon spread that Farmer Brown had the strangest animals around. People came from farand wide to have a peek. It got so crazy that Farmer Brown started charging admission. He made a lot of money doing it, way more than he ever could had he kept to his old ways.