For me taking psychiatric medication was a complete no-no, in my mind I wasn't ill so therefore I didnt need them. I would take them as an in-paitent and then I have to admit I would stop them, I became ill again, once more needing to go into hospital. I eventually recognised that I needed to take them to be well and become grounded enough to look at and deal with the issues at the root of my need to hide from the world. This has been a gradual realisation on my part and I have now with the aid of my psychiatrist begun to reduce the dosage I take.

 RE-SHAPE YOUR MIND

Orange liquid, poison, cure contained within small plastic cup

what you believe, depends which side you’re on

swallow it up, gulp it down, miseries dispelled

recreate yourself, become all you want to be, they say.

Waiting in line the Pharmacist, dispensing my pills

becoming sweaty self-conscious they emerge

Lithium, Epilium, Tegretol too

I used to believe all and sundry knew why,

these specific drugs were prescribed

I imagined, behind me old ladies tittering, sordid tales

shared among luncheon clubs, of my drugs for mental illness.

A Gift from God?

Dark, light green seemingly plastic capsule,

containing a potion, blend of chemicals a powerful brew,

warding off the extreme psychotic experience

my relationship with that pill curious indeed bordering on hate

knowledge of previous “highs” encourage me to place

upon my tongue to swallow, crush, delusions, illusions

grandiose plans that may grow in my mind from time to time.

I have reflected upon the source of that pill

small doses working effectively upon me

perhaps, I consider haloperidol is a gift from God after all.