buttons

buttons

some are

hard to push

some are

very easy

and when

it happens

all hell

breaks loose

wish i

could control

my buttons

wish I

knew when

they are

being pushed

before

an out of control

reaction

gives birth

to regrettable

action

©copyright

28 December 2009

mccampos

Invasions of privacy

Invasions of privacy

Not worth having any privacy

Can’t stand it at all, just can’t

It’ll be invaded with insensitivity

It’s like swallowing a bitter pill

When questioned and asked

What was the purpose at will?

Why make it you’re business

Don’t want to say or tell anyone

I’ll speak what I wish; more or less

Control of mind, body, ‘n spirit

Tis what is my personal desire

For me, myself, and I; you get it?!?

No matter the age or person

Should have the decency and

Respect for private matters of anyone

To badger and question repeatedly

Of what is not yours to know

Really increases my ire; heatedly

If, and when I wish to talk about it

Erase what you’ve already deduced

Otherwise, I’d rather ignore and forget!

©Copyright 27 December 2009

mccampos

Where are you bound for?

Where are you bound for?

Young lady of the night

Where are you bound for?

Is your life in desperate plight?

Old geezer man driving

Where are you bound for?

Is using her what you’re striving?

Young lady, barely thirteen

Where are you bound for?

All dolled up and pretty keen

Old geezer man; disgraceful

Where are you bound for?

Taking this girl at your will

Young lady, surviving in life

Where are you bound for?

Making money amidst your strife

Old geezer man; disgusting

Where you bound for?

What you’re doing is abusing

©Copyright 18 August 2009

MahTame

Damn that PTSD!

Damn that PTSD!

Damn that PTSD

Worries, emotions

Boggled up in a mind

Anxieties’ erosions

Traumas survived

Fleeting thoughts

Pleading pleas run

Havoc in onslaughts

Free thee of fright

Slew the dragon

Of fired up attacks

Releasing what’s begun

Flashbacks shatter

Nightmares redeem

Their controlling lair

Attacking my dream

Hypervigilant control

Perceived continuous

Events of harmful deed

Damn, PTSD acronymous!

©Copyright 09 August 2009

MahTame

The Street

The Street

On the streets of the city
or a small reservation town,
the ghetto is always the same
and it will always hold us down.
There's an upper middle class
but there's not an upper poor,
we live in those same streets
that our people did before.
Poverty is an evil seed
that always grows in the same place,
it gets embedded in the soul
no matter of gender or race.
People may look down their noses
but they never open their eyes,
there's a difference between education
and those who are street wise.
The homeless live in the shadows
inside of a world in between,
locked into a life on the street
where helping hands are seldom seen.
The soup kitchen becomes a life line
and a grocery cart becomes a home,
a cardboard box becomes a shelter
and a smile always travels alone.
Life is not a happy place
when your pillow is made of concrete,
hopes and dreams get shattered
against the hopelessness of the street.

~~Elden Hayes

Too Soon Gone

Too Soon Gone

Too soon gone, before we can realize their worth, are the glory days of our lives upon this old earth. Despite the willing spirit, still so eager to seek, our treacherous flesh betrays us, grows weak as eyes dim and knees creak under the steady accumulation of years and unrealized dreams; limitless tomorrow was only yesterday, it seems.

Now we are full of old slogans and wise quotes, trivia, and random lessons memorized by rote. Young folks, avid to learn, look to us with hope, expectant, open to the knowledge we possess; eager to discover how we were able to cope. We struggle to remember the shining phrases we rehearsed back in days of confident youth as we looked forward to life’s coming praises.

As usual, some of us succeeded brilliantly while most of us reached a comfortable level and rested, others never made it out of the valleys – beaten back, worn down, defeated, and ultimately bested by a life turned mundane and, they sighed wearily, too soon gone.

But, what is the measure of success? Are teachers who mold and influence hundreds of young minds yet never stray far from the classroom of little note? All the great things we plan to do…the heroic scope of future deeds, transcendent and pure, begin as seeds planted and nourished by those mentors.

Their visions shine out from our eyes; our voices sing music they taught us to compose; we inscribe their poetry and prose, even as they mourn time too soon gone.

A man daydreams over the whimsical stories Gramps would spin to entertain them both. Memory kindles imagination which, in turn, blooms, and ramps up until an old lazy day tale becomes an enthralling epic. Time was not too soon gone at all, but maturation, a bridge lovingly extended between the generations.

A tale idly formed from old slogans and wise quotes, trivia and some random lessons memorized by rote, is absorbed by a receptive young mind and eventually transformed into a monumental saga for the ages.

It began as an inventive tale on a drowsy afternoon in the mind of a kindly old man, conjured up to amuse his grandson. It became a legend, culled from times that never went away, a heroic adventure that eventually spread to titillate the imaginations of millions.

An elderly gentleman had erroneously thought, as an idle day droned on, his time would be too soon gone.

© 6/15/2009 T.P. Woodfork

[photo: on the shores of Galveston, by mahtame, june 2009]

Sensual Dancer of the Night

Sensual Dancer of the Night

Sensual dancer on the stage

Flirting with the gent is the rage

Hot music vibrating sensation

Flaunting sexy in front of men

A natural in her tantalizing move

Rockin’ and rollin’ is the groove

Gyrating thy hips and pelvic too

Sends temptation in all who view

Release the see through covering

Peeling off the sleeves of netting

Flipping hair locks behind her

As she emits a hawtness-like fire

©Copyright 30 May 2009

MahTame

Letting Go and Set Us Free

Letting Go and Set Us Free

I know that letting go of troubles can really be hard to do

All kinds of stuff will stay stuck like a burr in the prairie

In reading of stories and poems this shows this to be true

Some have bags and bags of unreleased luggage hidden

Causing them to struggle to stay afloat in the sea of living

Folks would rather follow another road that’s less driven

Mountains of worries and anxieties are unreachable above

It’s like having to literally pull out a chisel and scrape ‘em

Occasionally a break in the troubles will release there of

Loss of control, out of whack, frightens the common soul

Psychological mind games have come to play relentlessly

Attacking the innocent ones; keeping them from their goal

We want to be healthier; we want to be normal; to be free

From all the traumas that overwhelmingly hold bondage

A long, hard battle will have to consume what is hard to see

©Copyright 30 May 2009; MahTame

I fear the reason

I fear the answer

Will you ignore me during your reunion

While I wonder how it’s going for you

Seein’ old comrades that have been there

From ‘Nam’s war; many memories in view

Will I become a silent person in your life

While you are going through war stories

Imagining the deep bonding you warriors

Continue to rekindle in honor and all glories

Will a silent gesture be emitted toward moi

While I cannot fathom such an insensitivity

Whatever the reason that is kept entombed

Makes me wonder what you want from me?

I fear the answer; I fear the real deal in truth

Perhaps I am just a fancy whim that suits

A desire on occasions that fit your time

While I constantly wonder if I’m in cahoots

©Copyright 28 May 2009; MahTame

Some lessons we don't choose or do we?

Some lessons we don’t choose or do we?

Crippling lessons of young and old

Were it to be believed when we’re told

Some things are not known until too late

In this life we live in from day to date

Choices we make can be good or bad

Some bring results of happiness, some sad

Who can map out our life for us to follow

And not let us go the opposite way we allow?

Going off to war for whatever reason

Men and women fight in a battled season

Unknown reality results become the norm

Seeing ugly images in all sorts of form

Twisted and dismantled, mangled ‘n torn

Swallow the emotional anguish that’s born

Leaving things behind to enter an unknown

The life we once knew is no longer our own

Is this some destiny or some kind of fate

Mapped out for us as our parents procreate?

Or have we believed what we have learned

To be the ruling factor in what we’ve discerned?

I cannot fathom life without a direction

Whether it’s what we know it to be or none

Some things are quite regrettable and awful

Unknowing results of lessons I’d rather waffle

Oh, if we all had already known an end result

Would it be for our own good or just an insult?

Most answers have already been given from above

Some things we do and choose are what’s thereof

©Copyright 02 May 2009; MahTame

Where are you, my child?

Where are you, my child?

Where are you my child?

When I have been here

All along watching what’s

Going on in the earth?

Day and night, I have

Wondered if you would

Lay down your arms and

Pick up your torture stake

To follow the only way

To freedom, peace, and

Happiness I have given

To all of mankind’s benefit

I have heard many an outcry

And seen the atrocities there

That continues to prove that

Man cannot lead themselves

I hear the sorrow, the anguished

Cries even up farther than the sky

It grieves me to see what man has

Done for their hungry greedy hearts

Hush now, my child, and let me

Comfort you in your dire need

I am aware of the PTSD trauma

And frights you have experienced

For these are not my ways, child.

It’s the way of the world and their

Political means of gaining control

Of all in their path and homeland

Do not give up hope, my child, for

There are things that must take place

During the end of this wicked system

I will rid all these ugly things you see

Put down your arms and fight no more

Do not follow man that will not give

True peace and security in the land

For these will perish in due time too

Take comfort in my Word and know

I do not ignore what is going on there

I know your pain, sorrow, grief, ailments

In due time all will be done away with

©Copyright 14 April 2009, MahTame

I is a chillin' to Nina Simone

I is a chillin’ to Nina Simone

singer in a smoked-filled room

blues playing in the background

‘oooooooh,’ she sings with rhythm

a mesmerizing, shimming sound

bass plucked with limber finger

piano plinking amidst a drum

swaying like a slow raft in water

folks mumbling along in a hum

closed eyes; shoulders side-to-side

a crescendo melody arising fast

to a tumultuous meeting of two

as I a chillin’ to Nina Simone at last

©Copyright 03/20/2009, MahTame

come down off that pedestal

come down off that pedestal

come down from up there, mister

I seen the light you give out and

no longer believe ya deserve your

pedestal made from a wishful hand

the honor no longer exists as great

respect ceases to exude from thine

just monotonous words thou relate

to a disgruntled heart I shall resign

can’t look up to you any longer, sir

disappointment rules mine heart

misleading actions ya seem to prefer

making bad judgments is your part

©Copyright 02 February 2009

MahTame

nobody or somebody

nobody or somebody

don’t need nobody

my mind keeps saying

they’ve all died or gone

why bother to keep on loving?

shredded heart filled

to the brim of shattered

emotions like tiny shards

as delicate glass particles fled

quench the burning agony

my soul ripples throughout me

calm the sobbing tides clashing

back and forth like a sad symphony

helpless is thy strength

sitting by and wonder the ifs

and the should haves constantly

bombarding the lonely and the waifs

really need a somebody

my heart keeps telling it so

overriding the pitted darkness

from succumbing a precious calypso

©Copyright 13 January 2009

MahTame

Ugly Face of War

Ugly Face of War

War reveals a very ugly face

It maims all those it meets

Doesn’t matter of the race

It’s destructive as it greets

Innocents all face scary horror

Breathing in its after affects

Images never fade the gorier

As exposed details disrespects

Mothers and fathers mourn

Families torn up by war’s deed

Wailing aloud is all so forlorn

Somber comfort is more a need

No matter the reason a war has

No matter the destructiveness

No matter of the lads or the lass

Its cruelty grips with hatefulness

War rides with a disfigured heart

It never had nor ever will shine

People fight for a country’s part

Leaving an aftermath maligned

©Copyright 2 January 2009

MahTame

~~Awarded 2 January 2009~~

A Pity-Party of Fun

A Pity-Party of Fun

Let’s have a party

And drink the finest of wine

We shall have crumpets and tea

Or eat fresh shrimp as we dine

Let’s invite a bunch

And share our woes of life

What bugs us the most ‘tis not a hunch

It’s all the things that cause us strife

Let’s chomp loudly

On celery, carrots, or chips

We’ll eat heartedly and proudly

With hummus, salsa, and various dips

Let’s play our song

Bang the drum or belt out a tune

Send out cheers to each other along

The bayous of the bay or at a sandy dune

Let’s release our pities

Into fondue basins of cheesy sauce

And smother sorrows into s’mores, please

With some cheer to you and to me we’ll toss

©Copyright 15 December 2008

MahTame

can't see through the pity-party

can’t see through the pity-party

what happened

to the

rainbow schism

that send

out sparkliess

in the

sunshiny

day?

when it all

seems that

one is held in prison

Of self

blaming from

the ills that

come-what-may?

where are the

fleurs of the

meadow green

that send

out aromatic

floral sweetness

freely?

when insensitive

people dish

out mean

and selfish

darkness unto

weakened beings?

Really!

how can one

see beautiful

surroundings that

emit happiness,

love, laughter

and play?

when the

pity-party feelings

leave stings

unto broken

hearted souls

full of tears

and dismay?

©Copyright

15 December 2008

MahTame

Christmas Poem

Christmas Poem
By: MonÃ©t Phillips

Christmas time for many
is the best time of the year.
A time to bond with family
for gift giving and cheer.
But if you did some research
of how it originated,
you'd ask yourself, "Is it proper
for true Christians to celebrate it?"

You can ask any Christian,
anyone on the Earth
What December 25th is and
they'll say, "Christ Jesus' birth".
Was Jesus really born in December?
According to the Bible, he wasn't.
Does Christmas come from true Christians?
No, it surely doesn't.

The Jewish month of Chislev
or our November/December,
was not pleasant in Bethlehem .
It had cold and rainy weather.
The Bible writer Ezra confirmed
that when cold Chislev came,
people were "shivering on account
of the showers of rain". (Ezra 10:9, 13)
Jeremiah also wrote
that when this month arrived,
people said it was so cold
you couldn't "stand outside"! (Jeremiah 36:22)
So if he was born in December
and conditions were so poor,
why would shepherds on this night
be "living out of doors"? (Luke 2:8-12)

Well where does Christmas come from?
I surely have to tell 'ya.
It's from an ancient festival
whose name was Saturnalia.
During this pagan party,
people exchanged gifts.
Its date was very familiar.
December 25th.

This date was someone's birthday:
Tammuz was his name.
It was a festival that would
give all of us great shame.
They used the tall green Christmas tree
and wreaths were all around
to represent phallus
as researchers have found.
The mistletoe had powers
they put it into use
it was to promote fertility,
the first step to reproduce!
The ornaments you've come to know
they made their use of these
Except for round glass globes they used
human heads on trees!

If this were Christ's true birthday
and he was really for it
wouldn't he tell us to do it?
Wouldn't he support it?
So think about this info
and read the Bible through
then take a moment and ask yourself:
"What would Jesus do?"

in the dumps, I go

in the dumps, I go

buried treasures weep

upon mine lonely hilltop

where the willow seep

watery tears that’ll ne’er stop

knick-knacks of love

trinkets with less brilliance

faded with memories there of

such lackluster lost its resilience

entangled mind entrap

such weariness in mine soul

clothed with shredded wrap

apathetic desire becomes a goal

©Copyright 21 November 2008

MahTame

Stresses

Stresses

Standing on the threshold

Peering in wondering if I

Should fall into the pitted

Depths of a shattered defy

Purposeful stresses wring

Upon mine defenseless me

Creating havoc unto a soul

Striving hard to not let it be

Pressures surmounting high

Straining against headaches

Twinges occurring here or

There releasing more aches

Why must one continue to

Suffer in these measured,

Inconceivable stressors we

Are constantly badgered?

Throbbing of painfulness

Throughout mind, body ‘n

Soul to a weakened spirit

Releasing gravity to give in

©Copyright MahTame

21 November 2008

O Churl! What has thy habit been?

O Churl! What has thy habit been?

Is it false of mine love for thee?

Tell me its not so, for I cannot

Bear much more of this silence

Thy addiction controls your heart

Such grand sorrow welling up

Tears awaiting to overflow down

Upon mine grieving heart inside

Ready to be sunken and drown

O churl! What has thy habit been?

To take my love into trouble again!

Not even mine endearing love

Can keep free of gambling’s arcane

Troubles and more troubles amount

Adding to thy financial woes driven

Oh love of mine, please gain control

For your soul craves to be forgiven

Somber weeping I’ve hidden away

Loving thy man except his addiction

What will it take to end this problem

And keep life from all contradiction?

©Copyright 14 November 2008

MahTame

Thy addiction controls your heart

O Churl! What has thy habit been?

Is it false of mine love for thee?

Tell me its not so, for I cannot

Bear much more of this silence

Thy addiction controls your heart

Such grand sorrow welling up

Tears awaiting to overflow down

Upon mine grieving heart inside

Ready to be sunken and drown

O churl! What has thy habit been?

To take my love into trouble again!

Not even mine endearing love

Can keep free of gambling’s arcane

Troubles and more troubles amount

Adding to thy financial woes driven

Oh love of mine, please gain control

For your soul craves to be forgiven

Somber weeping I’ve hidden away

Loving thy man except his addiction

What will it take to end this problem

And keep life from all contradiction?

©Copyright 14 November 2008

MahTame

Money Woes

Money Woes

if there was a real reason to wallow

I would say it’s my financial woe

trouble is, no amount of deep sorrow

will bring the monies I truly owe

electricity, gas, sewer, water, trash

the mortgage, car, insurances added

can’t keep enough money in a stash

cause there’s always something billed

house phone and cell phones; kids too

education, work, gasoline, groceries

it never ends, something is always due

with the needs and wants purchases

co-payments of medical and dental

bills, bills, bills keep growing big

‘tis a wonder I’ve not gone all mental

with the troubles that keep me in a zig!

©Copyright 05 November 2008

MahTame

Apathetic Reality

Apathetic Reality

On the edge

At its rim

Looking down

I know I’m

Bout to

Fall

What has been

The driving

Source of

This tumultuous

Point in

My life?

Ah, such

Numbing

Soul inside

A cavity

Of bones

Defying

Treading

On the

Edge of a

Somber mind

Wavering

Carelessly

This blackened

Apathetic

Reality

Of being

Pulled endlessly

Into a dark pit

©Copyright 20 October 2008

MahTame

good night dear ones, special to me

good night dear ones, special to me

good night to those who are loved

by kindred, caring spirits of now

may tranquil peacefulness embrace

our sleepy, tired bodies somehow

caress our heads into restful sleep

kiss us gently with tenderness care

soft Celtic lullabies play for us all

as we drift into our slumbering lair

good night dear ones, special to me

let’s leave the cares alone for now

as we float as if on a lulling wave

into a restful sleep as we must allow

©Copyright 23 September 2008

MahTame

Summer vacation's over

Summer vacation’s over

Summer is still here

I feel it outside and in

Problem is; now it’s

School and work’ll begin

Actually, I have been

There at work for a few

Days now, ready to teach

Same students, some new

Handing out notebooks

Pencils, paper, ‘n folders

Going over class rules

Watching frowning looks

Reading, math, writing,

And spelling evaluations

What group to be put in?

Focus is really on playing

Yep, school is in session!

Have to put on thinking caps

Learn new things, relearn old

Goodbye! to summer vacation L

©Copyright 26 August 2008

MahTame

silent addiction

silent addiction

compulsive practice

undisclosed to others

ignores all advice

lessons learned detours

habitual comfort

unaware from others

thinking distort

fooling self occurs

absorbed solely

shhh’d from others

driven guiltily

ignoring prefers

obsessive thrill

don’t tell others

thriving instill

win or lose enters

silent addiction

hidden from others

seeking solace in

its secretive corrupters

©Copyright 31 July 2008

MahTame

nostalgic tears and No Regrets

nostalgic tears

memories

from golden eras

nostalgic tears

remembering auras

journeys

sentimental roads

familiarities

remembrance reloads

reminiscences

historical moments

loves and likes

ingrained imprints

longing

points in time

returning to

well-known clime

flowing drops

upon wetted cheek

memory ne’er stops

recollections seek

©Copyright

30 July 2008

MahTame

*****

No Regrets

There’s always regret for things not done,
A little heartache for songs left unsung.
Not that my voice is all that great,
It just seems it was part of my fate

I would never climb all those enticing hills
I occasionally glimpse beckoning me still…
A bit of yearning for what might have been
Had I not tarried so long in the glens.

Yet it was worth those moments of bliss,
The sweet desire, that lingering kiss
Holding me enthralled in love’s embrace,
A willing captive, away from the chase.

But, of course, I could not forever stay,
And after a while, I'd go on my way,
Still in search of some magical thing…
Adventure, or Fame, or Eternal Spring.

So I chased my gossamer youth along
With blood pulsing, vibrant and strong,
Giving never a thought that, alas, one day
The pulse would slow and my hair turn gray
Before I accomplished all I had in mind...
I’d have to leave the quest behind.

But glimmering rainbows will always be there
With crystal songs warm and sweet on the air,
Calling to me softly when I start to fret,
Gentle reminders I have little to regret.

© 9/1/2004 Thurman P. Woodfork

a passionate throng

a passionate throng

spanish guitar strumming

sensual rhythmical tunes

movement of the dancers

are exotically forthcoming

evoking an aural atmosphere

absorbed in the desert sun

or along dusky ocean views

entering auras beyond here

synthesized melodious song

entrances the seductive soul

surrounded all senses about

stirring a passionate throng

©Copyright 28 July 2008

MahTame

inspired from music of B-Tribe

Wish good riddance of PTSD

Wish good riddance of PTSD

Wish to put PTSD off to sail

Across the wide ocean yonder

Through eons of eternal gale

To be rid of the cruel monster

Seems it’ll strike unexpected

Or when we’re sick and down

Its purpose isn’t too accepted

Even though reasons renown

Can be grueling fighting PTSD

Facing its images and memory

Victims need be aware you see

It’s part of our life’s recovery

But can’t hurt for wishes though

When one tires of fighting self

‘Why Me?’ we’ll learn to know

Healed souls arise from its delf

PTSD’ll lose its tightened grip

Once conquered by our control

Good-riddance’s forever equip

Us for a more peaceful console

©Copyright 20 July 2008

MahTame

vertigo

vertigo

dizzily

rapidly

moving

arms

intertwining

into

the

midnight

hour

flashes

light

twirling

*swinging

into

the

music*

vertigo

techno

flittering

rhythmical

remix

dances

into

the

dim lit

room

©Copyright

16 July 2008

MahTame

*music inspired: “Vertigo” (remix) by U2

Just a Thought

Just a Thought

Don't have the words to say today
But always there's the rhyme
Though it be total nonsense
We all know that's not a crime

It's good we speak our feelings
Though we may not say it pure
But the truth is it's the caring
That we all know will endure

Don't keep your feelings captive
And you'll find you're not alone
You'll find that in the sharing
You will get to lands unknown

This day so full of laughter
There was nothing I could say
This is just a simple thought
Because I had no words today

Delta Blue

July 2008
All Rights Reserved

'was a cutter'

‘was a cutter’

I was a cutter

the battle to

return is quite

hard to kill

the idea to do

numb the pain

erase horrible

memories that

collide reality

with what’s past

oh hungry is my

desire to open

skin and watch

the blood come

I wish that pain

facing the horrors

feeling all of it

abuses drove

the cruel prey

to rob innocence

old wounds rivet

under older cuts

arms still feel the

sensations from

slits made in ‘em

ah, have I come

so far now? to

win those bloody

battles of cutting?

perhaps yes, or no

©Copyright

09 July 2008

MahTame

another road, wrong way

another road, wrong way

the drug enters the soul

slowly rolls up the spine

infiltrates all conscience

dizzy, twirling lights dine

twisted mind riveting slow

cries within all chaotic life

no return to reality anymore

hopeless in needles’ strife

©Copyright 09 July 2008

MahTame

Giving In, Giving Up

Giving In, Giving Up

Victim to our own prey

Fallen to the

Boughs of silence

Worries continue to fray

Outspoken hearts shushed

Once again to

Quiet the complaint

Of opinions outrushed

Sensitivity shudders aloud

Covering the mind

Muffles its sound

Under the false shroud

Aye, lost souls wander

Down many roads

Searching for

Some comfort out yonder

Innocent and vulnerable

Heeding frets

Disillusioned hearts

Sought out the approvable

©Copyright 08 July 2008

MahTame

PTSD

PTSD

is my

worse

enemy

and

not

death

nor

sickness

memory

mine,

or yours

same misery

with

yesterday

as today

the now

ne’er came

but

battles

to win

from

within

©Copyright

07 July 2008

MahTame

Year after year, Another day

Year after year, Another day

Year after year

Another day

For some

It’s a holiday

Year after year

Another day

Special occasions

Some view it that way

Year after year

Another day

Traditions

Live on in today

Year after year

Another day

Meaningful

Or meaningless portray

Year after year

Another day

Memories leave

And many stay

Year after year

Another day

Life or death comes

Through cycles of array

©Copyright 05 July 2008

MahTame

lost again

lost again

songs sung

empty souls

spoke

mine heart

tunes rung

lost again

loneliness

suffer

wounds

life’s chagrin

suffering

deepened

hurt

cruel words

vexed aching

©Copyright

1 July 2008

MahTame

what's positive

what’s positive

my heart

reaches out

what’s been

given

from the start

beauty,

tranquility,

solitude and calm

peace

instills in serenity

my soul

seeks beyond

what’s been

given

from life’s goal

purposes

of living

reasons care

driven

in love’s caresses

my life

endeavors to

try and try

again

amidst all strife

©Copyright

26 June 2008

MahTame

path of thorns

path of thorns

my road has not become simple

and a path that is far from simplicity

senseless acts bombarding thoughts

behaviors like rapacious vultures see

bitterness seeping to the rooted mind

thrashing of words and deeds replay

what is this journey I must follow to

conquer where the brutal memories lay?

entangled in thick briar patches of life

pyracantha and thorny chollas pierce

through flesh and soul; driven deeper

reminding the weak of all that’s fierce

©Copyright 22 June 2008 MahTame

reeling in anger

reeling in anger

my fuse

has been

lit by

anger’s

abuse

blown stack

clear

to fucked

smack

driven rage

pierce

beyond

control of

my age

fuck the

demons

fuck the

cruelties

free me

turmoil

rules confusion

the night

and day

destined to spoil

hating life

surviving

shit

fuck the bastards

in all strife!

destroyed

innocence

ugliness reeks

battled

and annoyed

©Copyright 22 June 2008

MahTame

Forsakenness

Forsakenness

Stranded

A lonely

Island

Deserted

A mind

Bruised

Neglected

A thorny

Barbed bed

Isolated

Life’s beach

Complicated

©Copyright

08 June 2008

MahTame

suicided

suicided

Helpless wonderment

Adorned in muted blues

Numbified torment

Riddling thoughts confuse

Powerless assistance

Settled in lusterless shine

Withered existence

Allowing self to resign

Lifeless embodiment

Deadened amid dull grays

Unsound decisions spent

Leaving painful dismays

©Copyright 19 May 2008

MahTame

Something seems amiss

Something seems amiss

Where things once fit securely

Now all is empty and less bliss

Hollowed out emotions

Left blankness deep within

Carved out walls of notions

Some words seem hidden

Perhaps for some protectiveness

Not freeing worries within

Guarded barriers kept near

Ready to cover painful memory

Of lost children held dear

My dear friend, many woes

Plaguing at various times in life

Keeping happiness from repose

"When you begin a poem with words I have spoken to you what else am I to believe?"

*“When you begin a poem with words I have spoken to you what else am I to believe?”*

believe that you have touched my heart one way or another

know that all that you have said makes a difference deep inside

for all the love you have shown and given, through thick and thin

believe that you have touched my soul one way or another

knowing the reciprocating emotion may or not be acceptable but

through unconditional love and giving works for the best in the end

believe that you have touched my mind one way or another

knowing the words you’ve spoken have been received inwardly

whether taken as they are, or taken as what was perceived, but taken

believe that you have touched my emotions one way or another

know that sometimes a reaction is not what was meant to be

but in time an understanding will be reached and peace will be made

©Copyright 09 May 2008, MahTame

*quote from T.L.R.

Abandonment

Abandonment

you say you are to my left

and always there

when I look

it’s empty

abandonment

hollow air

blinded soul

and always gone

you say will always be near

guess I’m not looking hard

and always hopeless

when I sense

it’s barren

abandonment

wilted love

flowerless bud

and always thornier

guess I’m not going to stay

©Copyright 09 May 2008

MahTame

Prayer for all People

Prayer for all People

Great Spirit

So much unrest

Continues

In this land

You have given us

Oh Father

Your people cry

Disharmony

In this land

You have given us

Grand Father

The people weep

Continuously

In this land

You have given us

Dau kei, God

Bring back love

Unconditionally

In this land

You have given us

Great Spirit

Calm our hearts

Console our crying

In this land

You have given us

©Copyright

03 May 2008

MahTame

Dau kei – Kiowa for God

worries

worries

droplets

dripping off

mine brain

into

worry vessels

rapidly

overflowing

downward

into

vats of bewilderedly

sighing

repeatedly

wonders of

reasons

for sickness again

awaiting

visits to

a specialist

probing

causes of bleeding

anxiety

rises high

above clouds

surrounding

into waves of me

©Copyright

01 May 2008

MahTame

Sha-lohm' , Peace

Sha-lohm’ , Peace

I dream of peaceful times

free from all wars

and disturbances

in times of health

safety

soundness

welfare

friendship

and the unified

diversity of

man and beast

I dream of peaceful times

for everyday

with no interferences

to awake each

morning without

the thought of war

without having to

worry about

my future

for our children’s

future

even for their

future

I dream of peaceful times

free from hatefulness

and horrid crimes

to walk in harmony

hand and hand

with each person

no worries

of color

or culture

unified as one

people

as a whole nation

I dream of true peace

free of injustices, greed

and hypocrisy

to live in well-made

homes

and free from

crooked lawmakers

to eat plentifully

where no worries

of crime infested

neighborhoods

and lawlessness rules

I dream for that peaceful time

when true peace

will be a reality

©Copyright 30 April 2008

MahTame

When Sleep Don't Come Easy

When Sleep Don’t Come Easy

When sleep don’t come easy

And counting sheep till dawn

Won’t seem to cut it for me

All I’ll do is yawn and yawn

Guess I’ll try an old movie

The classic black and white

From ‘Bogie to the mystery

Watched a couple all night

Maybe read a tale or story

Of the Sacketts’ or Catlow

Following travels of bravery

Kept senses awake although

Probably just close my eyes

Breathing in and out slowly

Allowing drowsiness’ disguise

To send me sleeping wholly

©Copyright 29 April 2008

MahTame

alone

alone

I walk alone

to the

sea

and

I see

my reflection

I stand alone

in the

mist

and

I feel

life has gone

I sit alone

by the

shore

and

I sing

song’s bygone

I drift alone

to the

sea

and

I dream

of affection

I flew alone

to the

wind

and

I felt

it’s protection

©Copyright 28 April 2008

MahTame

In Memory of the 1995 Bombing Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

In Memory of the 1995 Bombing

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

9:02 AM

One spring day

Interrupting

Explosions

Riveting throughout

April 19

The year 1995

Disrupting

Confusions

Screaming echoes

168 lives

Adults ‘n kids

Deceasing

Complications

Identifying bodies

800+ names

Survivors remain

Reliving

Emotions

Remembering again

©Copyright 14 April 2008

MahTame

rave

rave

frenetic wave

dances in the night hour

techno rave

music ready to devour

kinetic move

caught in strobe light

carefree groove

energetic wave’s flight

enthusiastic love

heartbeats with rhythm

moving thereof

unlocking the biorhythm

electric rave

powerful synergy shared

fulfillment gave

dancer’s permission dared

rave

©Copyright 17 April 2008

MahTame

I Own My Body!

I Own My Body!

I awoke this morning

In my own embracing

I told myself repeatedly

That I own my body!

I’ve made myself aware

Of things I used to dare

I realized I deserve love

To hold on to it thereof

I said I am very proud

Even mentioned it aloud

I held myself, all of me

Now it’s time to be free

©Copyright 04/11/2008

MahTame

Time to Escape

Time to Escape

Standing in isolation

Surrounded by others

Not an easy solution

In escaping my bothers

Unstable minds ruling

Making life miserable

Choices in disobeying

No one is quite reliable

Freedom is unreachable

Quietness exists yonder

Please release my goal

By giving me a detour

Searching through mire

Discarding all shmuck

Burn negativity’s fire

Wash away what’s stuck

Yes, yes, there is a way

Hand out the tools to go

Rescue me from dismay

Take me to prairie’s flow

©Copyright 10 April 2008

MahTame

Contorted Self

Contorted Self

Turmoil, twisted, misconstrued

Why can’t I understand myself?

Wrung around and around much

What’s left with a drained self?

Bent, buckled, gnarled, knurled

Such emotional distraughtness

Wreaking havoc in my thinking

What put me into lots of distress?

©Copyright 02 April 2008

MahTame

Guess I is Not Doing So Good...

Guess I is Not Doing So Good…

Don’t really know where I’m going

Nor where I want to go anymore or

Maybe just need a vacation of mind

And quit thinking bout stuff of yore

Some things cannot be controlled or

Stored away into darkened dungeons

What purpose is there to keep trying?

When the shit I get is worth zillions?

Blah, blah, blah came and living flew

Into the highest apathetic person ever

Skinned and burned about in rawness

Don’t really fuckin’ care if it gets better

©Copyright 01 April 2008, MahTame

cannot wait till then

cannot wait till then

I have tears streaming down my cheeks

weeping for absence of animated self

some meds sure can send one drowsy

soothing relief of mind is what thee seeks

I think I do not like hearing the drawl

when I’ve heard the upbeat vocal sound

makes me feel badly for you dear friend

trying very hard to not break and bawl

I cannot wait for the day when all is well

no more need for medication or assistance

in helping one to sleep peacefully freely

and then life is all hunky-dory and swell

Questioning/STAND STILL

Questioning

Have I opened up my soul and laid bare for the vultures?

Why is it when one wants to speak from their heart, that

They are chewed up or down and spit in mean overtures?

Why do prickles stand out and pierce right where I’m at?

Where do I go to when I need to speak about my inners?

Shall I talk to hardened brick walls with no response back

Or does one speak hesitantly into windy gales of yours?

Who is willing to accept all of me; even where I do lack?

What does one receive from others when life is mixed up?

Are they really that way-out-there in their thinking too or

Do I really need to drink lots of positive direction’s cup?

Is truly seeking solutions to my life’s drama really a bore?

**********************************************************************

STAND STILL

Stand still and breathe

There is time

Ignore the voices in and out

The whiners and the beraters

The heartless and the deaf

Know that there is one who listens

When you sleep

When you cry

When you hurt

It speaks back

But the noise gets in the way

Be silent

Breathe

Let the love engulf you

For only when we are still

Only when we stop the clatter

Does its voice boom outwards

You are loved

You are special

You are doing the right thing

Right now, right here

Let others remain in a vortex of pain

Go with the flow

Relax as the river takes you

We are never so lost

That we cannot be found by the Eternal

Let go your heavy heart

Let true love arrive

And make a home in you

Ann-Marie Spittle

My Life's Walls

My Life’s Walls

I find safety behind my walls

You can try to penetrate through

But I’ll fight harder to keep entry

Into what I have made from you

My walls are of petrified wood

Holding in the fossils of my life

Rock hard; solid; non-penetrate

Rarely will allow anyone rife

Trusting is a big issue; it’s hard

Not confident enough to allow

Holes cut through walls of me

Either accept it or be disavowed

MahTame

don't tell me you know all about me

don’t tell me you know all about me

for the whole truth will stay hidden from you

don’t tell me you’ve been there, too

perhaps, but what stays in me is out of view

don’t tell me you understand my pain

for the whole truth will stay hidden from all

don’t tell me you’ve walked the same road

perhaps, but the path keeps tripping me to fall

don’t tell me you will help carry my load

for the whole truth will not be told completely

don’t tell me you’ve done what I do now

perhaps, but some things are better alone to be

don't really know why

don’t really know why

why is it I can see behind the covered treetops?

what is it that is hidden beyond the clouded sky?

ah, my soul feels the pained heart driven away

to the never ending grievous, mournful deep cry

why must one take in much troubled emotions?

how long will one keep memories out of reach?

ah, my soul weeps tears throughout my veins

out of reality’s touch begins the road to breach

why does one carry on while the other crumbles?

is it destiny’s call to asunder amidst tormented life?

ah, my soul dreads the unwholesome company

in which one must keep in the ugliest bit of strife

problem is...

problem is…

problem is the deep

blackened depression

some choose to take in

smoke, shoot, sniff, drink

harmful substances to:

kill the wrenching pain

kill the haunted memory

kill the screaming sound

kill the abusive feeling

kill the distraught tears

problem is it is temporary

the darkness comes back

sometimes more darker

problem is you may end

up killing yourself

a slow, painful, suicidal

death, or a quick not-able-

to-stop death

then it would be too late

cause help is available;

only, to come from the

soul’s abyss, and reach out

is another problem

MahTame

The Wind of Final Change

The Wind of Final Change

A wind blows softly from the west

Whispering a time for final change

It reminds us all of the very best

Of the reward for all of our pain

A wind blows softly from the west

Carrying a secret on its wings

With it the answers to the final test

Are there in the song that it sings

A wind blows softly from the west

Drying the river of nature’s tears

Revealing nature’s treasure chest

In the blue sky as dark clouds clear

A wind blows softly from the west

With a promise of hope on its wings

Holding all close to its naked breast

With a story of hope in the song it sings

It Is What It Is, or Is It?

It Is What It Is, or Is It?

Seasons come and seasons go

A cycle that turns round ‘n round

Life lives on then it expels though

The never ending clock ticks along

We may stop, but it continues on

Many people searching to belong

Love and hate; likes and dislikes

Personalities shine with inner pride

Someone stays different than alikes

What we choose may not be best

Destinies are not laid with purpose

Points to north, south, east, or west

Questioning life as we comprehend

Purposes of the how, what, and why

Answers may not readily be portend

I Wish You Were Clean... Just for Today

I Wish You Were Clean

...

Just For Today

Slower and slower

The worlds gonna kill her

Corruption breeds in the minds of tormented souls

Red hot embers forming from the flaming coals

Is this prescription enough

Thinking it’s what’s been making you tough

I wish you were clean… Just for today

You’re just a teen… You’ll be okay

I wish you were clean… I wish you were clean… Just for today

Can’t you see that you’re addicted

Quitting now isn’t an option, it’s a must

We were the best of friends and the drugs destroyed our trust

Former allies

Now rulers of different sides

Devastation awaits as each tide collides

Wanting and needing are two very different things

But addiction has finally taken its hold

It’s what made you put your husband in casts and slings

Your actions are getting daring and bold

This habit is unsupportable

‘Tis already destroyed your happiness along with youth

I wish you were clean… Just for today

You’re just a teen… In time you’ll pay

I wish you were clean… Just for today… Just for today

Is this prescription enough

It’s making things harder and tough

Chaz Roberts

~15 yrs. old

emotions

emotions

emotions are like the tides of the sea

depending on the moon and the sun

the water rises and falls to its gravity

being pushed and pulled in direction

emotions of calmness and serenity

are like the low tides that lazily glide

a peacefulness surrounds the beauty

soft quietness of the stillness reside

emotions of sorrow and deep remorse

are like tides that are wavy and gray

it’s moody sky makes a rough course

turning dark and mournful in its way

emotions of anger, hurt, and raging ire

are like the tides that thrash the shore

with a force dressed in a powerful attire

one wishes the blackened skies no more

emotions of happiness and joyfulness

are like the tides that jump and bounce

cheerful animation of the lad and lass

being chased by each long wavy pounce

Reeling in Wallow

Reeling in Wallow

Wounds and hurts

Daily and nightly

Pain is constantly

Rippling subverts

Battles erupting

Wallowing through

Cutting won’t do

Always running

Avoiding the real

Taking what’s theirs

Adding to my cares

What is my deal?

Silent screaming

Disillusioned soul

Never will be whole

Arms’ scar reeling

Depression rules

It hooks deeply

Killing silently

All light’s jewels

MahTame

OUR DREAM TOO

OUR DREAM TOO

He had a dream

We have a dream too

Where no man will suffer

Under the hands of discrimination

Anymore

We have a dream too

Where no man will die

Under the hands of a greedy nation

Anymore

We have a dream too

Where no man will starve

Under the hands of a cruel nation

Anymore

We have a dream too

Where no man will suffer

Under the arms and warfare

Anymore

We have a dream too

Where no man, woman, child

Will be hated for their culture,

Of where they are from, of where they live,

But treasured of the humans they are

From God’s great Glory they were made

To live on the earth as originally purposed

In Love, Harmony, and Peace FOREVER!!!

THIS IS OUR DREAM TOO

rebellion

Rebellion

Long hair

Wild waving

Into the day

Into the night

Blue jeans

Big t-shirts

RezDog hoodie

Darkened color

Pierced soul

Tattooed mind

Broken heart

Shattered dream

Walk away

No responsibility

Fighting all

Refusing light

Angered flight

Lashing out

Can’t take me

You’re not mine

Backtalk rulz

Fuck that shit

Life is sucky

And all is blue

Can’t be myself

No where to go

Hating within

Falsettos abound

©Copyright

01/20/2008

MahTame

Anger and Lies

Anger and lies

Lies, lies, lies,

was there any truth in those words?

Or were all of them a pack of lies?

Such damage one does to the other

Crushing the innocent person that

Believed all words and actions of thee

Hurtful, cruel, gestures from a low

Down, insensitive heart for some

Awful game of pretending affection!

Anger arising, hurtful actions of lies

Believing all from thy mouth before

Learned of the deceitful life thou have

Lies, lies, lies,

You have made it known in a heartless

Fashion, taking away what was loved!

Worse of all, lies have contaminated

Your soul, your mind, your well-being

This saddens me greatly, for I believed

In you….

Brain Fry

Brain Fry

I think I’ve got brain fry

Thoughts are in mumble

Through lots of jumble

I think I need to not think

Or worry about anything

Night is here for resting

I think I need a massage

All over my intelligence

Return it to its resilience

Time

Time

Time comes and goes

Sometimes swiftly

Sometimes very slow

Why won’t it stop?

Nobody really knows

If time would stand still

And let me catch up

With what was lost

Maybe confusion won’t

Win, ‘n understanding will

The clock still ticks away

Constantly going forward

What is it reaching for?

Wish I would grasp it

As night turns to new day

Time’s unknown ability

To feel and nurture people

Is it for good or for bad?

Only wish it was helpful

In keeping me from futility

MahTame