Bernie called me at 3am on Friday 26^th May 2006. “Mel’s in hospital” you said. “She’s 4 cm and it looks like we are in for a long night.” I laughed saying “Nah, she’ll be quick with this one!” and then asked if you had any Gatorade or the likes. After agreeing to stop at the all night servo for some supplies, I said I’d make my way over to the hospital soon.

I arrived at the hospital around 3.35am and let myself into the labour room after a very soft tap on the door. After being chastised by the midwife, Millie, I decided to just feel my way around the room and try to stay out of her way. At this stage, you were just learning to suck on the Gas and looked happy and comfortable. I did see you visibly relax though and was relieved to see you wink at me!

My instinct was to reassure you that you were doing really well and that you wouldn’t be too long in delivering your baby. You were ready to get back into the shower around 3.45am so with the help of Bernie, you sucked the gas through contractions whilst swaying on the fit ball with the pressure of the shower head on your belly. Despite having some pushy feelings, we knew you weren’t dilated enough, so we encouraged you to focus on breathing and opening your cervix first.

I made the most of the time you were in the shower, in the labour ward, setting up the oil burner, preparing for your birth. I got my camera ready and made sure it was working. I set up some music jotted down some notes and introduced myself properly to the midwife. We quietly discussed my studies and then we turned our attention back to you.

You were sipping Gatorade between contractions and were quite focused during each one. Bernie held your gaze as you breathed your way through and during your breaks, we laughed and joked about what time you would deliver. It was a very calm and loving environment. A lovely way to bring a baby into the world.

At 4.15am, you were really feeling pushy and had a lot of pressure from the baby, so we decided that maybe you might like to change positions. It was around this time that I went back to your room to gather some of your things and you had a shot of Pethidene. By the time I got back, you were very comfortable on all fours over a big beanbag with Bernie holding your hands during contractions and the gas mouthpiece resting on the beanbag!! You were still quite lucid and happy in the breaks, making the most of the rest.

It was during this time that you mentioned how much easier the contractions were to focus on if I talked you through them. So Bernie would warn you one was coming and I would hold your focus through them, Breathe, Open, Focus, Open, Good Girl, Breathe. The three of us were making a great team and we could see your contractions become more purposeful.

At 4.45am, you were back in the shower, rocking on the fit ball. Again, Bernie held your gaze as you made it through each contraction. You were rocking your hips, breathing deeply, opening your body to receive your baby. Sipping Gatorade between waves, still laughing and professing your feelings of peace and tranquillity, it was a pleasure to see you still enjoying your labour. It was awesome to see you so calm and in control.

Around 5.10am you really felt like pushing so asked Millie permission to push! Your waters were still intact and between contractions, we had a discussion about babies being born in the caul. Millie said in 38yrs of midwifery she had only seen it a handful of times. Millie did a Vaginal Examination to discover you were 9cm dilated and almost ready to push. She seemed surprised. I wasn’t though as I could see you were really focusing on getting this baby born!

You headed back to the shower for another 15minutes or so, but you couldn’t get comfortable and the contractions started to slow. We were still talking between contractions and the vibe in the room was awesome. You were doing so well, calm, happy and in control. As transition happened, you decided that we needed to get the baby out and now was a good time to start!

At 5.27am, you left the shower and started your pushing. A series of different positions after a couple of sets of contractions left us with no doubt that your baby was having difficulties moving around your pubic bone. You pushed as hard as you could. We tried every posture known to man. You told us you were exhausted. You said you couldn’t go on. But you could and you did. Millie explained how baby was having trouble going around the last corner and that you needed to help him. You needed to tell us if you felt him move round the bend.

At around 6.12am Millie put you in a semi reclining position over the beanbag, laying on your left side. Bernie supported your head and upper body, I sat beside you camera at hand and I gave you a pillow to squeeze. It was about this time that you started to self talk. I would encourage you between contractions and as they started, you would say “come on Mel, you can do it. This one is the one.” I was so proud of you and how in control you were. Bernie was your rock and he held you so strong and gave you all his strength. I was pushing with you as I’m sure Millie was too!

At last your waters broke with a trickle, filled with dirty brown staining of meconium. Despite having a great strong heartbeat, I could see Millie was anxious to have baby out fairly quickly. Another contraction and then you exclaimed that you felt him move around the bend! He was coming! With another couple of good strong pushes, you could see the difference in your strength once the waters had broken, baby started to crown. How amazing to see your darling boy edged into the world, inch by inch, push by push, breath by breath as Millie encouraged you to slowly but surely bring him to this world.

Once his head was born, Millie could see that he hadn’t rotated fully so as to be born easily with the next push. She instructed the Doctor on hand and I to grab both your knees and bring them to your chest, and quickly! This would mean that Millie could manually rotate his shoulder and bring him out carefully. I must say that was the most intense moment of the birth, but absolutely amazing to see such a skilled midwife use her ability to birth your boy safely. He was followed out by a rush of meconium stained amniotic fluid.

After Millie guiding you to bring him up to your chest briefly, baby was taken by the doctor for a thorough check. They swabbed his ear and took a stomach sample where they found an amount of stained fluid. He was otherwise well and oh my god, so BIG. 9lb 1oz. Wow, such a whopper for such a small girl and not even a tear.

After a small time, baby was bought to you and I took your first photographs together.

Mel and Bernie, I congratulate you on the birth of your baby boy. Mel, I admire your strength and courage and I feel honoured to have witnessed your son being brought into this world. Your expressions of calm and tranquillity during your labour and birth reinforced to me that I am on the right path in my life and I thank you for allowing me to be part of your special day.

I was pretty brave and when the numbness took over my lower half of the body, it gives you a feeling of ‘out of control’, which is a disturbing state to be in. However, with the wonderful staff reassuring me and not forgetting Richard, the incision was made.  My Obstetrician and my Anaesthetist talked us through the delivery.

With the sound of U2’s ‘One’ song playing in the background, a little girl was born at 9.01am.  She was wrapped up by the Paediatrician and examined.  Then she was handed to Richard within the first minute of her arrival into our world.  What a wonderful feeling for Daddy to be handed his little baby daughter and placed her on my chest for us to both hold; ironically to the sound of ‘A little ray of sunshine has come into our world, in a shape of a girl’.  It was an incredible and overwhelming experience.

We remained in this position as a new little family, the three of us, Ella Jade lying on my chest until I was stitched up with the music of ‘beautiful day’ by U2 being played and ‘Brown Eyed “Girl’ (for me) playing in the background. That was very special to us. When this procedure was complete, I was then wheeled on the bed, to recovery by my Midwife, Christine and the Orderly.

They closed the curtains and my upper body was made naked, Ella was unwrapped and placed skin to skin on my chest.  This moment is such an incredible experience and nature unfolded before our eyes as a dear little girl tried and suckle on my breast all within an hour of being born.

I am overwhelmed with this experience and in that time felt a real connection with my little girl, a real bonding that I had not experience with my other two children.  I had my darling partner, Richard beside me and my baby taking her colostrum from her mother’s nipple.

I was wheeled with Ella still placed on my chest skin to skin through the passageways from Recovery to my ward.  Here Ella was weighed in front of me.  We were able to contact family and firstly to Jake and Chloe to notify them that they had a little baby sister.  Chloe was always confident that the baby was going to be a little girl and it was irrelevant to her, the name of the baby sister.  Later telling her classmates at school that she had forgotten the babies name but after an hour said ‘I remember now, its Bella!!!’  Jake was super proud to have a little baby sister who will no doubt, grow up thinking her big brother is just wonderful!!!!

The children came after school to meet their little sister and that moment will be held in our hearts forever.  We are a family!

Ella’s first bath that day was in the ward in front of me, Richard, Jake, Chloe and Ella’s Nana, Merrilyn, by a Midwife Sally.  This is usually done in the nursery where the Father gets to witness and in my previous two caesarean births, I did not get the option to view.

The birth in this manner, gave me an inner strength that empowered me to take control and care for Ella in my own beliefs and ways.  I kept Ella in the room with me at all times and we had such a different bonding experience than I ever did with my other two children.