NEW! The Busker, Hillhead, Glasgow
Stands on Byres Road (can occasionally be seen in the city centre) wearing red and white plastic trousers, enormous platform shoes, a fluffy coat when cold and just a waistcoat or nothing when
warm. Has bleach blonde hair in pigtails, and wears eyeliner. Looks young-ish from a distance but up close appears to be in his mid-40's.
Incoherently roars punk classics, or just insults the dress-sense of random passers-by. Never see him in winter. Doesn't appear to be a alkie, I've never seen him drinking alcohol. Sometime hangs around the
Tribeca cafe in Partick.
Submitted by Fr. Finton Stack
NEW! Solomon, Glasgow
Solomon's a huge black who can usually be seen in the Halt Bar on Woodlands Road scaring the customers. He's barred from virtually every other pub in the west end. Fork-lift truck driver by profession. I first encountered him at an indie night at the Woodside Social Club where he was running around the dancefloor, attempting (and failing) to break-dance, and picking up other dancers and carrying them
around. Drums in a band who I've yet to have the good fortune to see. He was there with The Sniper and another guy who looked a bit like Daniel Johnston. Told us he was a psychology student and seemed reasonably normal. Maybe the other two were his project.
Submitted by Fr. Finton Stack
NEW! The Sniper, Glasgow
Looks like Mike from Spaced. appears to be in his late 30's, wears combat fatigues, and likes to stand at the edge of the dancefloor taking imaginary pot-shots at dancers, hence the name.
Whenever Teenage Kicks gets played, he gets down on his knees and starts bashing the dancefloor with his hands, Planet of the Apes-style. Once spent a night following my friend around, almost in tears, telling her he'd been in a war. Occasionally appears to have flashbacks, the poor bugger.
Seems harmless. Friends with Solomon.
Submitted by Fr. Finton Stack
Ginger Guy, Aberdeen
this guy has minging ginger hair and ALWAYS wears an Aberdeen football shirt. The guys a jake, asking for "10 pence man" so he can put it towards his skag fund but really telling you he needs it so he can "catch the f***ng bus to visit my maw". Good ain Mr Jakey!
Submitted by Clarence Boddiker
Spade, East Kilbride
Has a beard, wears cum encrusted jogging bottoms and carries an empty paper cup which he pretends to drink out of. Quite often tries to talk to groups of young boys who more often than not try to get him to dance for them... thought to be a eccentric millionaire.
Submitted by Andrew Lauder
Kenny, East Kilbride
Local Calderwood legend, know for selling anything from 80 year old golf clubs to old ass'ed pizza crunch supers. Watch out foe this little gem, youve to check your change but he's a heart of gold.
Total Champion...
Submitted by Mark Kelly
Bimendi, East Kilbride
Trampy - burnt on smile.
Submitted by Jack
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