Shouting George, Eccles
OK, Salford has got plenty of head the balls, but if you want some top class nutters,give Eccles a visit,the walking stick capital of the world,every fucker,young and old has one, some greedy gits have two.Stick your head in the local Wetherspoons and await the arrival of "Shouting George".
Tall,dapper dressed always gets a half of bitter,never finishes it.
Stands on his own surveying the room before letting rip in a sergeant major bawl, "Stand to attention when I'm fucking speaking to you, you little shit! "This is not aimed at anyone in particular, he then paces up and down the pub,bawling orders at the top of his voice, "I'll have you all fucking shot!", then a further pace up and down before flinging the pub door open and leaving a bemused crowd,word is that he caught his wife at it whilst home on leave from the army and it sent him barmy.Staying in Wetherspoons.
submitted by Tony Flynn

Shotgun Billy, Eccles
A 24 carat napper, he strolls in the pub looking menacingly at the punters,then dramatically whips out two non existent pistols which he twirls round his fingers before pointing them at some hapless drinker. The "guns" are then stuck back down his trousers.This is usually done in complete silence but with a deadly gunslingers stare, priceless. Lets not forget.
submitted by Tony Flynn

Fighting Alf, Eccles
His party piece is to rush into the pub and tell everyone at the top of his voice,"Your all cunts,I,ll fight anyone! Alf is about 5 foot 3,with very few teeth,I have never seen him fight but by God he can talk a good one. The best thing I have seen him do in there was to prempt being chucked out by the manager by saying to him, "Fuck off!, I'm throwing myself out" Alf then grabbed hold of his own collar and threw himself out of the pub doors, possibly Eccles only existentialist nutter, bless him. Worth a mention is the Bulls Head pub in Eccles headquarters of the damaged souls and naturally a Holts pub, I'm not saying that the two are in any way linked,but.. Try and venture in on a Monday afternoon when its karaoke and"free and easy",it,s like a day release outing from Rampton,well worth a visit.Flying off at a tangent, whilst in Eccles,visit the public shithouses in the precinct if you dare,you have been warned!!!
submitted by Tony Flynn

Update! Bruce Springsteen Boy, Rochdale
My God how spooky was that. I was only talking about him to my sister-in-law over the xmas holidays.
It didn't matter how cold it was he always wore the same clothes,a red american style baseball jacket, jeans and trainers. He was harmless and entertained the queues waiting to get into watch the movie.
He must be well into his 40's now as the last time I think I saw him was probably in the early 80's outside the pictures (which later became the Weatherspoons ... yeap Ed the very same as Nigel of the 409 bus
fame) 
submitted by juju

New! Norby D***** aka pie and chips, Langley, Middleton
A local legend from school was a strange scruffy looking bloke named Norby D***** aka pie & chips, the legend is that many years ago he had a bet for pie and chips that he would bum a dog, and well the story goes that he enjoyed the pie and chips, "but i dont know weather he went back for seconds". As a young lad we would have hours of fun calling him pie & chips and getting great chases, i still see him now and then on the 124 bus going too and from Langley, one day ill have to shout out !!!PIE & CHIPS!!! just for old time sakes..... just hope hes not hungry if he catches me.....
submitted by your name = DR FIST

Bruce Springsteen Boy, Rochdale
It was a sad day when the Rochdale cinema shut down - what would Bruce Springsteen Boy do now? Who would sing Born in the USA to his walkman while we were queueing up for Gremlins 2? Who would scissor kick and perform KISS-worthy air guitar licks? And further more, will anyone ever again be personally serenaded with Brucey's best, accompanied by a toothless smile and knowing wink? Rumour has it he was the sandwich-short-of-a-picnic son of the cinema manager... and if there's no cinema, surely there's no Born in the USA?
Last reported from my sister, he's still alive and well and usually to be found around Stand V in Rochdale Bus Station, performing to his adulatory chav masses. He never wants any money. He just wants to bring joy to the world by spreading his tuneless Gospel of Bruce.
submitted by shazrazzamatazz

New! Shithouse Bill, Salford, Greater Manchester
Shithouse Bill was a legend among the park keepers and the public along with schoolkids who took sports activities in Peel Park, Salford.
The Parks public toilets were commonly referred to as `Shithouse Bill`s Office`!
Many a brave soul who inadvertantly ventured into Bill`s office invariably came out shellshocked or petrified after an encounter with Bill and his team of lurkers. The bushes or tree`s were the only sensible option for any male requiring relief and it got to the point where it became urban legend!
Does anyone remember Shithouse Bill and his crew?
Oh by the way i had the `enjoyable experience of living on the same tower block for a while as `Vinegar Vera` and her boyfriend as i recall wasn`t called Bernard but was in fact a timid skinny Irishman called Mick who i heard once in an argument with Vera had his pushbike thrown over the verandah from the third floor which was then closely followed by Mick the poor bastard!!!!!!!
Once i got in the lift in the block and Vera came in puffing and blowing and telling me to `hold the lift` This was one of the most disturbing moments of my then young life! What to do? press the button and hope the door shuts before she can get in or press the `h`old door` button?
Anyway my mind froze like a rabbit in a cars headlights and i held the button/door open for her to enter.
`Good job you held the door` said Vera, `Or i would have fuckin killed you, you twat!` God bless her, salt of the earth (fortunately!)
submitted by Twonky

Mobile Joe, Clifton & Pendlebury
Anyone remember "Mobile Joe" from Clifton? 
Mobile Joe was regularly seen staggering up Queensway on the "top road" pendlebury absolutley pissed out of out his brains on Joey Holts bitter. He had a brown trilby, brown mack and smoked his ciggy until death until you could barely see it, it must have been burning his lips but he was that pissed on the good old Joey's bitter that he obviously could'nt feel the burning sensation. Now and again he used to lose his rag and try swing a punch at you - apparently he used to be a handful in his hay day! He used to get that pissed he quite often ended up with a cut face or a black eye from falling down the embankment on Queensway or get chucked off the "Rake Lane Flyer" for swearing at bus driver or passengers. He was a star, anyone remember?
submitted by Tudge

409 Nigel, Oldham
Now this is going back a good few years ... well
27 infact but the guy is still around. He used to go to the adult
centre not far from my secondary school on Hunt Lane Chadderton and caught
the 181 bus from royton in the morning and the 59 bus in the afternoon.
Everytime he got on the bus he asked what number it was and if you
said the correct number he used to smack you across the head. Every bus
had to be the 409. he also used to ask if you had gloves and what colour
and fabric they were. Again if you told him exactly what they were made
of and the exact colour he would smack you about the head. He wanted to
hear they were green and wool ones. The reason behind this became
apparent much later on when i was leaving school, someone heard that he had
been run over in the winter by a 409 bus. He is still around and
travels between Rochdale and Ashton on the 409 everyday. I've also seen him
in Weatherspoons in Rochdale occassionally (but only on match days ....
wouldn't dare to have gone in there on a night out lol)

hey 'ed' forgot about your site until i came across it in the back of
beyond on the pc .... (Hey 'JuJu' - weatherspoons eh? shocking.. - 'Ed')
submitted by JuJu

Little Smelly Scottie, Manchester
Little Scottie is a small, 3ft 11" at a push, arren jumper, beani hat on his head stranger that hangs around the stations of manchester talking to random people, myself included, very harmless but very smelly.
Submitted by Stan in a van

Update - Anthony The Bus Driver, Manchester
He made my 21st birthday, back in 1992!
He sang many classics, including 'Fan Light Fanny', and passed his cap round Sinclairs. He must have made at least 50p. We asked him about the GM Buses tie he always wore, and he explained he drove the 82 to Oldham.
Pure class.
Submitted by Mr Stromboli

UPDATE -Pencil Up The Arse Man, Manchester
I spot this guy everytime I hit Market Street. Additional to other descriptions, he also sticks his chest out like Windsor Davis from 'It Ain't Half Hot Mum'. However, he looks anything other than butch. He struts up and down Market St. rather like a highly camp matador, minus bull, cloak, mickey mouse ears and pink jodpers (though I'm sure that day is coming.....)
Submitted by Mike

UPDATE - Mirror Mann aka Modern Day Hero, Manchester
We used to have a Karaoke night at Galvins Bar, and this guy was first in each night. You've never heard Nat King Cole songs murdered in this fashion. And the big finish was 'Yellow Submarine' actually sung worse than Ringo Starr, usually accompanied by maniacal laughter (terrifying!). Now he pops in every Saturday, in his bus driver uniform and Cowboy Hat and tries to sing 'Ghost Rider' over the DJ with a big pink microphone and tambourine. Sometimes it's funny.
Submitted by Big Mike

UPDATE - Vinegar Vera, Salford
D Dave vera's manfriend was called Bernard!!
Submitted by LPA

License Plate Len, Whitefield Area
On first starting my daily commute to whitefield some years ago i regularly came across a hooded man ( ex oasis parker coat ) walking on the main roads pulling a delicately handmade wooden trolley. If this wasnt strange enough as you passed him he would stop turnaround and take down your number plate into his license bible. The annoying thing is i always hit the brakes before realising looking for a speed trap.Not seen him recently since he tried to negotiate the whitefield roundabout.
Submitted by larderraider

Forgetful Frank, Cheetham Hill
This legand was about 5ft 10"..A bit chunky and wore a black Miners Jacket. He also modelled a pair or milk bottom Glasses and a wavy hair style..Well this Nutter used to wander the Cheetham Hill Village..Taking 10 large steps in a hurry..(as if he had somewhere to go) Then suddenly stop..scratch his head..look vacantly left>right up and down...Look very bemused..Then decide to stomp off in the complete opposite direction from which he came...Then stop after a few yards again..And he used to repeat this proccess "all fekin day" The forgetful feker...Not sure if his name was forgetful Frank..but its fitting. He went through a few pairs of shoes, "THAT i can tell you.."
Submitted by GavsteR

Mr Wavey, Central Manchester
Old boy, drags an old lady's style shopping trolley up and down Quay Street. Every day, about 3pm, he would make his way up Quay Street from the Salford end, stop, then turn round and waves extravagently with his walking stick at the Granada building before toddling off down Gartside Street, (behind the courts).

I used to work in Astley House which overlooks Granada and Quay Street - or once did before they built a bloody big apartment block there- and Mr Wavey was a regular, work stopping fixture. A friend once ran out and engaged him in conversation (and a fag) Apparently, he was a cameraman at Granada many years ago and "Still has a lot of friends there" He worked on Corrie in the early days, but new cameras "which couldn't be operated by left handers like me" were introduced, so they got rid of him.
Take that to an industrial tribunal nowadays and see how much you can take the buggers for!  I haven't worked in town for a good while now, so I don't know if he's still around. Any sightings?
Submitted by John

Pele, Higher Broughton
He didn't call himself Pele (well, after a while he did )it was a nickname given to him by our lads, reason being he was absolutely shit at football.  He lived on St James' Rd, Higher Broughton, he was Polish I think and he used to bring a ball with him onto the field at the back of Andertons Chippy.  As stated before, he was absolute dire at football but used to try and join in with us lot.  The fact that he was about 60 and could only speak bits of English probably didn't help but, he swore he played against Eusebio, Puskas and Pele at some stage of his "career".  Best memory of him was having a wayward shot head his way and him leapin like a salmon only for it to ping off one of the corners of his bonce.....Pure class.
Submitted by Dave. H.

Skippy, Whitefield, Manchester
So called cos he constantly bounds around from pub to pub in a heightened "state of awareness" on his tip toes, much like a demented kanagaroo. When left alone for long periods he used to end up dribbling and mumbling uncontrollably to his two effeminite small dogs. Also famed for an infamous underkeks incident due to too many aspirin.
Lovely missus mind, (god knows how that happened?)
Submitted by Derek

The Singing Bus Driver, Manchester
Black guy who frequented Sinclairs dressed as a bus driver (not sure if he was one) and sang various hits to the punters. Even took requests. He also had a Frank Bruno style laugh.
Submitted by Coman and Neil

UPDATE - Vinegar Vera, Salford
In 1975/6 I worked as a porter/clerk in the casualty department of Salford Royal Hospital(now, alas, gentrified and turned into apartments). Vera was a regular in the department. She'd either taken an overdose (allegedly) or was simply drunk. She had this weedy guy for a boyfriend who she'd regularly kick shit out of. Her medical records were about six inches thick because of the number of times she'd been in the department. We had a special drawer where we kept all the records for the 'regulars' as we called them. Good old Vera had pride of place. She also used to drink in The Lima Arms on Peru Street, sometimes.
Wonder if she's still alive? 
Submitted by Dangerous Dave

Pencil Up Arse Man, Central Manchester
Although I've not seen him for a while, Pencil Up Arse Man is usually found walking gingerly up and down Market Street in Manchester with a gait akin tothat of a person with a pencil stuck up his arse. It could be the intensely tight jeans and denim jacket that he wears that makes him walk like this, or maybe he fried his arse on the sunbed because he is always tanned like he's been on holiday. Perhaps it's something to do with his platform shoes? All he does is walk up and down Market Street all day, twitching his head from side to side. If you are out visiting many shops that day you will see him everytime you leavea shop only this time he will be coming in the opposite direction to the last time you saw him.He usually has a carrier bag with him that contains an umbrella in case it rains, I saw him get it out once.
Submitted by Arkay
Ed - I think he likes you Arkay...

UPDATE - No Smoking Man aka Preaching Pete
You must have seen Preaching Pete the no smoking
hero. - Market Street.He has a push bike with many anti-smoking signs on and labels. He's created his own language and mumbles to himself and other people in the street talking to them in his own language. You can actually have a conversation with him if you know how to speak 'Random Mumble'.
Submitted by Loakie
Ed - this is surely the same Legend as No Smoking Man

Mad Dave II, Eccles
Mad Dave was a retard (oh very PC pp!), with incredible strength. Whilst we were in All Saints school playground, Dave would be outside. "Bend the Bars, Dave!" we'd chant and he could pull gaps in the 1/2" steel rod fence. He also ran a mile if you showed him a match. Odd.
Submitted by pp

The Master, Bury
who remembers that 80+ year old guy with shades
who used to rave at 'Siberia' and was the best dancer in the place...a
true legend. He wore shades and a black hat and put all the 17 year olds to shame with his dancing
Submitted by Rick Funk

Boggy Bogston (Phantom of the footpath), Wigan
Propper local legend.Often seen walking from town centre to standish although he has been spotted as far a field as salford. He looks like 'wheres wally' in a vicars uniform and when approached he will run away with his fingers in his ears. Dont know how he got the name 'boggy' but would love to know!
Submitted by Tom

Mad Denis, Whitefield
Mad ginger fuckwit.constantly showing off his large belly and shouting " i am the lord " at the top of his voice. not to be approched.
Submitted by W

Ozzy, Whitefield
beer monster extrordinaire.freequenter of ALL local beer houses occupation full time wind up merchant and ocassional punchbag found annoying the fuck out of people for over 20 years main watering holes these days are the church,goats gate and the bulls head.never one to venture anywhere new amazingly the OZman has been pestering the local talent of chicago rock and making up for all the none shags of days gone by.a true whitefield legend.
Submitted by Chip

Big Al, Holcombe Brook
definitive "Gentle Giant", used to March up and down outside the Hare & Hounds in Holcombe Brook to Military Tattoos played at full volume through his tiny ghetto blaster. Also used to "herd" the buses that used to stop outside the pub.......and obviously saluted police cars.
submitted by Howling Mads Timm