The Lilliputian Voice
The Squeaky Wheel

In his world of illusion and distorted values, the Giant gradually discovers that he is a prisoner of tiny people, Lilliputians. -Gulliver's Travels
Dear
Vivian Marino and The New York Times,
Your May 28 " Home Sweet Home, Built in a Factory" article neglected
to warn mobilehome buyers of the pitfalls of purchasing in a land-lease community.
Thousands of senior citizens every year find themselves in the unenviable
position of facing huge rent increases by greedy park owners, especially Sam
Zell's Equity Lifestyle Properties, mentioned in you article.
Every single oldster living in Zell's DeAnza Santa Cruz Mobilehome Estates
here in California lost 100% of their equity (which for many represented a
lifetime of accumulated wealth and everything they had) to Zell.
Certainly it is home sweet mobilehome to Zell. But ask elderly and frail Herb
and Anita Rossman, whose ocean view home is now worth nothing until they die
at which point Zell will retake the home and sell it for hundreds of thousands
of dollars to the next unsuspecting senior citizen. Or ask my 90 year old
father and blind mother who were forced out of their home.
Better yet go to a website created by senior citizens nationwide who are victims
of this scam: " MHC vs The Liliputians"
Because I am certain you are aware of this swindle I have to wonder what motivates
people like you to participate in this national disgrace.
Shame on you Vivian Marino and shame on The New York Times whose reputation
just took a huge nosedive in the eyes of senior citizens nationwide.
Until more journalists and newspapers do as Carol Marin in Chicago has done
and devote entire stories to this despicable fleecing of our nation's old
people, the practice will continue unabated.
Linda Ponzini
985 Senda Ladera Ln.
Watsonville, California
(831) 768-7679
cc: Carol Marin
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Action Please!
Land space between homes is a fire safety issue
May 2, 2006
By Barbara Eichhorn
Lilliputian Staff Writer
Delaware has had several fires this year in manufactured housing. One just
yesterday- four fire companies were engaged in fighting this fire, some firemen
were harmed, and they had to truck in water because there are no fire hydrants
in that particular community.
Fortunately the winds had died down. It could have been disastrous if it had been the day before when we had "high winds" and grass fires occurring in other areas.
Many communities are having the older singlewide homes yanked out and the landowners are selling and putting into these spaces doublewide homes with practically NO space between homes.
Our County has a so-called process with a "Board of Adjustment" where one can appeal for a "Variance". These variances have been automatically granted without inspections or surveys and certainly NONE for public safety let alone privacy. The Landowner, Sun Co., has subjected one community to particularly egregious activity.
Our State association had recently been assured that this practice would stop immediately. The out-of-state Wall Street REIT brought in their attorneys, did the usual song and dance threats that they do throughout the country. As a result our county has now backed down on their WORD to the homeowners.
So we are now left with homeowners, homes, and firefighters at great risk. Our firefighters are all volunteer so their risk expands to their families if they are harmed.
We need help folks. Enforceable laws please! Life over money please! Word kept please! No more pats on the head please! Action please!
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STATEWIDE ALERT TO ALL MOBILEHOME OWNERS IN CALIFORNIA
Eminent Domain Initiatives Threaten Mobilehome Rent Control
By Maurice A. Priest, GSMOL Legislative Advocate
Initiative petitions have been approved and are now being circulated throughout the state by signature gatherers which would threaten the existence of mobilehome rent control in California. The initiative petitions are referred to as "Eminent Domain" petitions to stop the government takeover of private property to benefit other private owners. These "Eminent Domain initiatives," also known as "Protect Our Homes Act," are particularly dangerous to mobilehome owners because the initiatives do not state in plain language that they could destroy mobilehome rent control in California. Instead, the initiatives state that they "bar state and local governments from condemning or 'damaging' private property to promote other private projects, uses."
For years, mobilehome park owners have brought lawsuits against cities and counties who have adopted mobilehome rent control protections, claiming that the park owners have been "damaged" by the restrictions and limitations placed on them by mobilehome rent control ordinances. It is believed, therefore, that the wording of the "Eminent Domain" initiatives now being circulated in front of supermarkets, post offices and throughout the state will be used by park owners to abolish mobilehome rent control ordinances if the petitions gain sufficient signatures to be placed on the ballot and those initiatives are then passed by a majority of voters in California.
The initiatives are particularly dangerous because most voters who sign the "Eminent Domain" petitions will believe that they are only preventing the "unjust" taking of private property by local government to benefit other private or corporate uses. Most people will be thinking of the recent east coast decision by the U.S. Supreme Court which enabled one city to take privately owned homes by using eminent domain and then transferred ownership to a pharmaceutical company which plans to build a corporate campus. The pharmaceutical development will generate more local tax revenue for the city and was therefore approved by city government. Such "abuse" of eminent domain has caused an uprising by voters throughout the U.S. who want to prohibit such "eminent domain" abuse before it reaches their own cities, counties and states. Most of those voters would not dream that such initiative measures would also remove justified rent control protections which have been adopted by approximately 100 communities throughout California in order to protect low income seniors and others who depend on mobilehome rent control to protect their mobilehome way of life. Even if existing rent ordinances are impacted, the initiatives could be used to prevent other cities and counties from adopting mobilehome rent control.
This is what we are asking you to do:
1. If you are not already a member of Golden State Manufactured-Home Owners League, Inc. (GSMOL), join today so that you will help GSMOL and other mobilehome owners to provide a strong unified fight against these threatening initiatives. You can download a membership application by visiting GSMOL's website at www.gsmol.org, or during normal business hours you can call GSMOL toll-free at 1-800-888-1727.
2. Make photocopies of this Alert and give a copy to every mobilehome owner in your mobilehome park. Tell your family, friends and everyone you know about the threats to mobilehome rent control and urge them not to sign any "Eminent Domain" petitions at the supermarket or anywhere else.
3. Read this Alert at your next GSMOL chapter meeting or homeowner association meeting.
4. Write a letter to the Editor of your local newspaper warning readers that a signature on the "Eminent Domain" petition could spell the end of mobilehome rent control protections needed by low income seniors and families.
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LET'S KICK IT OPEN WITH THE TRUTH!
3/31/06
I was contacted last night by Khaim Morton from LA Councilman Alex Padilla's office. They urgently need to hear from people in manufactured home parks across the nation, especially California residents ASAP. Their office is compiling a report on the business practices of corporations like Kort & Scott and Sam Zell.
Please FAX: KHAIM MORTON at 818-362-4857. (note corrected
fax number)
Provide your name, location, park management/owner, a brief story about the
past 18 months rent escalations, loss of service, harrassment, etc. Provide
any back up info you may have. DO NOT REPORT RUMOR. BE SURE TO SIGN YOUR LETTER.
Briefly tell your story to the LA City Council.
Thank you for posting this ASAP and passing it on across the country. The door is opening for light to shine on this dark, oppressive type of operation - LET'S KICK IT OPEN WITH THE TRUTH!
Samii Taylor Yakovetic
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January 16, 2005Heritage Plantation is surrounded by scenic citrus groves and horse ranches.
The community is located in Indian River County, internationally known for its
fine citrus. The community offers residents amenities including a heated swimming
pool, tennis courts and a clubhouse and planned community events such as potluck
dinners, dances and card games. The clubhouse and pool area are newly renovated,
and should be a definite "Must See" on your list of things to do at
Heritage Plantation! Municipal and medical services lie just outside the community,
while major shopping and hospitals are just three miles away. Quality new and
pre-owned homes are available at Heritage Plantation.
The following unfulfilled mission statement is also on your website:
Our mission is to operate high quality site-set housing communities responsibly and ethically.
To share an absolute passion for excellence and resident satisfaction at every level.
To empower every employee to take initiative and be a creative agent of change.
To set and meet aggressive goals that benefit our residents, employees and shareholders.
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Attention Lilliputians: Support Florida HB 549
Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2005 11:14 AM
Subject: HB 549
Hello to all,
Our House Bill 549 has been filed. You need to do the following:
www.MyFloridaHouse.gov
on the left side of the page where it says "Find a bill" type in 549
and click on "go"
when 549 comes up, go to "Bill Text:" and click on "Original
filed text" and the entire bill will come up
to print it, you will need Adobe ability
The Senate version will be filed within a week as it has already gone to the
Draft folks.
Jan, this bill should be distributed to the world and we need to get as much
support as possible.
It would be nice if the Manatee folks would send a message to Senator Bennett asking him to support HB 549 in its Senate version.
Senator Mike Fasano has sent the Senate version to the Draft folks and
a final Bill should be out this coming week. Talk to you soon. Thanks.
Carol, will you please share this Bill with the world. We need everyone to know
about it. Thanks.
Tony
Anthony V. Pinzone
avplmp@aol.com
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November 16, 2005
To Mobile Home Owners Association Presidents:
Active senior citizens, like us, have discovered that mobile/manufactured homes are a way of life, not just a place to live out our retirement years. Mobile/manufactured home parks tend to offer cultural opportunities, clubhouses, pools, concerts, dinners and dances and many club and sporting activities where neighbors look out for one another. The once relaxing and picturesque parks have become the hunting grounds for developers interested in changes of land usage allowing for the conversion of parks to luxury condominiums and townhouses. Parks are being sold without any notice to the park residents, land use changes are completed and eviction notices are being served to the residents.
In April and again in December of 2004, we held meetings inviting residents of many parks throughout Florida. The purpose of the meetings was to organize mobile home parks throughout Florida primarily to address ideas, concerns and recommendations to amend Chapter 723 and gain the support of the legislators. The meetings were very successful with an excess of four hundred park residents attending. The FMO did not accept our invitation to attend the meetings. Bay Indies Home Owners Association Board of Directors, at the encouragement of the parks in attendance at the meetings, contracted with a professional lobbyist in Tallahassee. State Representative Nancy Detert and Senator Mike Fasano sponsored bills offering language changes to Chapter 723 that reflected the concerns of the park residents as expressed during the meetings. The most stressing thing is the fact that the FMO representative along with the FMHA lobbyist registered and spoke as opponents of the proposed changes during Representative and Senator committee meetings in Tallahassee.
A third meeting is scheduled for December 12, 2005 at 1:30 p.m. at Bay Indies in the Indies Hall. We have invited State Representative Nancy Detert, Senator Mike Fasano, Attorney Joseph Magri, Professional Lobbyist Travis Moore, and Leo Plenski, President of the Bay Pines Home Owners Association along with myself to address the participates at the meeting. Each of the speakers has expertise in their areas and will share their thoughts. We hope you can join us and share your thoughts and concerns. It is only through a cooperative effort that we can make the necessary changes in the Statutes.
Chapter 723, the Florida Mobile Home Act, of the Florida Statutes contains specific language relating to the park owners intent to sell the park and the responsibilities of the residents of the park but is limited to a solicited offer to sell the park. If a park owner receives a bona fide offer to purchase the park as an unsolicited offer to purchase, the only obligation shall be to notify the homeowners association that an offer has been received; however, the park owners shall be under no obligation to sell the park to the residents. There lies the problem! As the value of land continues to escalate in Florida, unsolicited offers are becoming much more frequent. Parks are being sold by means of unsolicited offers and residents are being told after the fact and have received eviction notices. In Pinellas County alone, ten parks have either been sold or are in the process of a sales agreement. This problem is not an isolated one. We all will face it sooner or later. We must have the right of first refusal for both a solicited and unsolicited offer to purchase if park residents are to be given an opportunity to purchase the parks in which they reside. Failure to have this right of first refusal regardless of solicited or unsolicited creates an inequity to park residents.
Sections 723.061 and 723.083 of the Chapter further complicate the problems. Within Section 723.061, a mobile home park owner may evict a mobile home owner if a change in use of the land comprising the mobile home park, or the portion thereof from with mobile homes are to be evicted provided all tenants affected are given at least six months notice of the projected change of use. Yet, Section 723.083 states that no agency of municipal, local, county, or state government shall approve any application for rezoning, or take any other official action, which would result in the removal or relocation of mobile home owners resident in a mobile home park without first determining that adequate mobile home parks or other suitable facilities exist for the relocation of the mobile home owners. We need a clear marriage of both Sections of the Chapter, as they can be argued to be in conflict with one another. We must change Section 723.083 to require a definition of adequate and suitable living quarters to include affordable and comparable mobile home parks if the park that residents currently reside within has its zoning changed to offer other than mobile homes. This change is the only way to insure comparable living conditions if parks are to be sold for purposes other than that of a mobile home park. An amendment of this nature would allow park residents to purchase their parks at reasonable costs rather than that of a complete change of usage resulting in much higher costs.
The third proposed change related to park owners who chose to bundle parks for the purpose of selling groups of parks. We are seeking a change that would require park owners to determine the asking price of each park so that the park residents may have the opportunity to purchase the park that they reside within. This opportunity would continue to cause park residents to follow all aspects of the Chapter as it related to timing and sales conditions as the conditions currently exit within the Chapter. We are serious buyers and are not seeking to delay the required response time from that of the current 45-day requirement. All we are asking is to have a fair opportunity to purchase the park.
Our last proposed change in language is to seek a change to require binding arbitration for unresolved issues between park owners and park residents. We suggest that both parties involved in such action and not the State of Florida share the cost of such binding arbitration. We understand that binding arbitration will not negate either party from seeking court action; however, we are asking that the courts consider the decision of the arbitrator when rending their final decisions.
While we all sit comfortably in our homes thinking that we are secure and none of the above will cause us any concern or problem, we better think again. After all, our park will never be soldso we think. The escalating cost of Florida land makes mobile home parks attractive to developers for usage other than that of continued mobile home parks. You could probably bet that with a proper offer, any park may be sold and eviction notices posted. Lets join together and make a difference. We have the numbers to do most anything we wish relating to legislative changes in the State of Florida; but we must act as a team and not as individual players.
See you on December 12, 2005 in Bay Indies. Please call or e-mail me with any questions.
Anthony V. Pinzone, President
Bay Indies Home Owners Association, Inc.
Anthony V. Pinzone
avplmp@aol.com
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Senior citizens at Harbor View Mobile Park in New Port Richey are being forced to take drastic action against the park owner, Equity Lifestyle Properties Inc. of Chicago.
These seniors, many on fixed incomes, many more veterans of three wars, have been systematically exploited by huge rent increases and forced to choose between food and necessary medications to stay in good health.
Equity Lifestyle Properties has consistently ignored Statute 723, the homeowners contract at the time, the board of directors and the homeowners committee.
Through devious means, they have increased rents for some residents close to $100 over their neighbors having the same size lot.
Senior citizens are being forced from their homes or are facing eviction as a result of the huge rents they are being charged for a 45 foot by 90 foot piece of land upon which they have placed their own manufactured home.
These seniors are desperate for some help from any corner, the Legislature, the legal community, the media. They are living lives of quiet desperation with no one to help them in their plight.
Where will they go? Who will help them? The questions are out there, so who will pick up their desperate situation and come to the aid?
There must be some way in this great land of ours to help these exploited seniors maintain a certain quantity of dignity and live in peace in their last home on this planet.
-- Donald T. Blatchford, New Port Richey
San Francisco's CBS affiliate Channel 5 will be airing a special documentary about MHC/ELS and its business practices and operations in Northern California. Homeowners in at least three of the MHC/ELS parks, as well as city officials were interviewed for the making of this film.
The program is called "Thirty Minutes" and is an experimental attempt to apply the "Sixty Minutes" format at the local level.
The program is scheduled to air on Sunday, June 12 at 6:30 p.m. It will be available throughout the Bay Area and through much of Northern California where San Francisco Channel 5 is available on Cable. For instance, in Santa Cruz, the program will air on Comcast Cable Channel 30. I also believe that San Francisco Channel 5 can possibly be picked up nationwide by anyone with a satellite TV system.
5/19/05
Dear Editor,
Evidently
the land under Delaware mobile homes is so valuable that landlords
want it back to build homes on it. So why don't they stop renting mobile
home lots to new tenants?
I read
that people living in mobile home parks have no legal protection
against steep rental hikes and inconsiderate evictions and are asking the
government for help. But so far government has no answers. Delaware did
pass a very strong Landlord Tenant Code for homes, so why not for mobile
homes in parks?
Meanwhile
the government could find a way to keep the problem from
multiplying. It seems that landlords are still leasing lots to retirees &
others. I often meet people who have just signed leases in parks like Pot
Nets and it seems a shame that they might have the same problems that plague
current residents.
Shouldn't
there be a moratorium on renting lots to new mobile homeowners
until the issue between mobile home owners and the landlords is settled? Or
is it really Buyer Beware in Delaware?
Joan Deaver
DE
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I beg to differ with the opinion of Ron Williams printed in the News Journal on May 15th, Homes sit on beach lots worth fortune. First, the landowners have been making a fortune from rentals of these lots over the years and also make a tidy sum selling the homes, complete with promises and leases guaranteeing reasonable rental fees and services which lure people to purchase in the first place. And this is applicable all over the State, not just in the Long Neck area.
Many of the original landowners of these communities realized the value of partnering with the homeowners they rented lots to and there was a mutual respect and a sense of working together to create wonderful communities. This is the way it should be, a partnership, beneficial to both sides. In many cases now, second or third generation owners or new owners are simply greedy and have no concern for the residents. Some of the hardship policies they speak of simply allow residents a lower rent freeze for one year during which time they must sell their homes and move out. Their compassion chills me to the bone!
Mr. Williams says the landowners should phase out the lot-leasing business as folks move out or die. Very frankly, most landowners do not want to sell these properties and lose their cash cow. Technically, using the term market value with increased rents, they are selling it each year while still retaining ownership. What a deal! The homeowner pays for his home, pays taxes, utilities, in most cases both water and sewer fees including the sewer fees, even DMV gets its hefty share in title fees. These landowners are taking in money hand over fist each month, each year, milking the cow over and over. If they sell, even for a great deal of money, the cow is gone; the flow of milk dries up.
We are not seeking handouts. Most of us are hard-working, productive and contributing citizens and we simply want fair treatment which is what we were promised when we came here in the first place. There is an urgent need for a Commission or Board for manufactured housing which would work on behalf of both homeowners and landowners to insure fairness and equality for all. This is the help we are seeking from our legislators.
Bobbie Hemmerich
Lewes, DE
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Beaudelaire, sleeping in Zack's Palm, is alive in this picture but he never opened his eyes.
We have come a long way since Beaudelaire's tiny life and death. The following article was written last year as we were just starting the Lilliputian website.
April 26, 2004
This morning I awoke at 4:30 to the squeaking of our infant, orphan, week-old
mouse, Beaudelaire, calling as usual for breakfast. I opened the pantry and
looked in his box to find him lying on his back, feet in the air. I poked him
and rolled him but he was stiff and immobile. It must have been the birds I
heard. I felt crushed.
Unable to get back to sleep, I turned on the computer and tried to work on our infant, orphan, week-old website but all my enthusiasm was gone. I didn't ask to meet Beaudelaire any more than I had gone looking for a fight with MHC. Both had been dropped in my life by family members. But once I got involved it became a full commitment. I had begun to see the miraculous survival of this tiny wild mouse as symbolic of our website and the battle with MHC success with either seemed unlikely at best. Yet each morning, astonishingly, our miniscule rodent was still alive. If this Lilliputian could make it against all odds, so could we.
Beaudelaire's death was devastating. I decided to throw in the towel on the website and the fight. My 9 year-old son who was on the pre-dawn feeding circuit cried his eyes out. My husband joined in the tears then we searched the house for a Lilliputian-sized coffin. Wanting to spare our other two children the shock of discovering our pint-sized charge dead, we decided to present him at peace on a cotton ball in his itty-bitty jewelry box of a casket. As Larry carefully lifted the motionless creature into his hand, Beaudelaire stirred, "Hey Linda, you'd better learn how to tell when something is dead."
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Letter to the Editor
April 15, 2005
Re: Mireya Navarro's April 10 NY Times article "Trailer Trash? Not a Scent if It"
The Malibu millionaires snapping up those bargain basement ocean-view mobile homes better hope they will always have the money and influence to fend off the billionaires equally interested in owning those views.
Steve Rocco's fortune could just as quickly go the way of his neighbors to the north at DeAnza Santa Cruz, another woodsy California neighborhood on a cliff overlooking the Pacific.
All's fine and dandy down there in Malibu until a billionaire buys the park and decides the true market rent for "the best spot in the Southern California coast" is $15000 a month. What's the resale value of Rocco's $1.5 million dollar investment then?
The article grossly underestimates the magnitude of the "drawback" of land lease communities, a set up many buyers "overlook because of the trade-offs like no property taxes and rent-controlled lease fees".
Those new buyers who say they may never sell could be in for a surprise 20 years down the road when the park owner hikes the land rent 700%.
When deep-pocketed manufactured home park owner, Equity Lifestyle Properties (formerly MHC) backed down the city of Santa Cruz from it's rent-controlled leases last year, the result was a $38 million dollar transfer of wealth from 200 old folks to ELS who immediately changed the terms of the lease to allow for unlimited rent increases.
When DeAnza residents Herb and Anita Rossman received notice that the new fair market rent on their "stunning, drop-dead gorgeous, bluff top, ocean front" lot was a seven-fold $5000 a month they thought it was a misprint.
Rocco has made the same mistake thousands of others across the nation have made, justifying his decision with the affordability factor.
What happens to that affordability when all of a sudden his land rent exceeds his retirement income and he is unable to find a buyer who is willing to pay the new $15000 land rent?
Whether developer Janet Levine call it a fab park or a mobile home park,
whether its a triple or single wide, no matter your neighbor be Minnie Driver
or Minnie Mouse; if the land under Minnie's mobile home belongs to the park
owner she will forever be subject to his whim.
Ask Herb and Anita how much they can sell their stunning oceanfront manufactured
home for. With $5000 a month as the space rent, the answer is the same as their
neighbors: Not a cent.
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The House Business Regulation Committee is set for THursday, April 14 from 12:45pm to 2:45pm. Need you and the team here for that.
Please e-mail me as soon as possible
if you are planning to attend this meeting. As I mentioned previously, it is
VERY IMPORTANT that as many as possible attend this meeting. We MUST show a
united front. Thank you.
Anthony V. Pinzone, President
Bay Indies Home Owners Assoc., Inc.
avplmp@aol.com
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MARCHES
SEA AIR VILLAGE
Route 1, Rehoboth
Sat. Apr. 2-- 10am-Noon
*****************************
POT-NETS
1:00 PM
SUNDAY, APR. 3
SAT. & SUN. APR 9 & 10
Pot-Nets Rd.
Bayside Entrance
***************************
LEGISLATIVE HALL
DOVER
Wed. Apr. 13-- 11 AM
Thur. Apr. 14 (Rain Date)
DMHOA SUPPORTED
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3/21/05
Mr. Zell's Best Assets?
Your articlemention several reasons which have led to Zell's REIT's poor performance over the past 5 years including:
1. Mr. Zell's failure to invest in the two hottest real estate sectors of recent years, retail and industrial.
2. The failure of his "economies of scale theory"
3. The top dollar he paid for a Northern California office portfolio at the height of the dot.com boom
Your article neglects to mention Zell's biggest blunder. He forgot to heed his own advice "take care of your best assets, your tenants".
While his balding countenance may be a welcome sight on Wall Street, he is widely considered Simon LeGree by his tenants who, along with legislators and city leaders across the country, are hopping mad at his callous disregard for his best assets.
If his best assets were his tenants and now his name then one has to wonder why he has been so careless with both.
Linda Ponzini
I see you have again invited real estate mogul Chicago billionaire Sam Zell to be a featured speaker at your annual Milken Institute Global Conference, April 18-April 20, 2005 at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles, CA.
Publicized as an opportunity to debate ideas about how to solve some of
the world's most pressing challenges, your stated mission is to improve the
lives and economic conditions of diverse populations around the world creating
broad-based prosperity
I find this enormously ironic since Zell's company ELS (formerly MHC) is making
headlines from California to Florida as predatory, lacking both ethics and conscience
as it wreaks havoc on the economic conditions and prosperity on some of this
country's most vulnerable.
This scenario is not a figment of my personal imagination:
-Senator Mike Fasano and Congressman John Legg of Florida stated this at a protest by elderly residents of a Zell owned property:
"Mr. Zell will be a little nervous when he sees the state of Florida standing behind {senior residents of ELS Florida mobile home parks}.
Fasano and Legg also sent Zell a letter stating, "It is unconscionable deeds such as yours that force the legislature to step in and take action to defend people you are trying to exploit We are poised to file legislation that will stop businesses such as yours from taking advantage of our community's most vulnerable citizens."
- Delaware Sen. George H. Bunting Jr. is quoted saying:
"Considering how (Zell's) tenants have been getting kicked around hard lately, I think it's time to exhibit some compassion People are suffering we have to send MHC a message This is a 600-pound gorilla that has landed in Delaware. They don't give a damn about the people we represent."
-Delaware Senator Robert L. Venables who, in referring to Zell's ELS said:
"Our job is to protect the people when businesses overstep their bounds and human nature goes out the window, people have nowhere else to go and turn to us people are being evicted."
-Seventeen Delaware congressmen drafted and signed HR 168 strongly urging MHC/ELS to change the way it does business in Delaware, citing harassment, violations of Delaware law, unfair leases and evictions.
-Lehman Brothers' Alexander Goldfarb asked during the last conference call about
the "newspaper headlines of senior activism" at Zell-owned properties
around the country.
-Zell tenant 79 yr-old Don Blatchford wrote Zell:
"Mr. Zell has just presented a... rent increase of 30% to 44% . most residents of this park are veterans of three wars... Many are widows or widowers of veterans If this rent increase goes through you will be directly contributing to the growing number of homeless "
Isn't asking Sam Zell to speak at your gathering dedicated to improving lives and economic conditions a bit like asking Hitler to read bedtime stories to Jewish orphans?
All of the above and more is documented at this website:
http://mhcvsthelilliputians.cjb.net/
Sincerely,
Linda Ponzini
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CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-Reflecting on his time as MHC's president in a pre-taped
television interview, Sam Zell expressed pride Tuesday that despite the success
of Enron's former CEO in getting away with the retirement savings of thousands
of employees, he has still ruined far more lives than Mr. Lay.
"Ken believes he is so powerful, so strong," Zell said "But even
with all his accounting schemes and lawyers and smoke, he has not even come
close to ruining as many lives as I have."
While estimates of the number of lives ruined by the Enron scandal range from
50,000 all the way to 100,000, Zell and his associates are believed to have
ruined the lives of somewhere between 150,000 and 250,000 since 1995.
Throughout his presidency, Zell said he routinely had senior citizens evicted
without notice, sometimes along with their entire neighborhood.
"The race between myself and Mr. Lay is not even close," Zell boasted.
"I easily ruined 100 times more seniors than Lay, not to mention the young
families. That's right, young families with children."
"My officers did more damage rounding up old folks than the entire Enron
debacle with their billion dollar swindle," Zell said. "And my lawyers
did not put down their guns just because someone asked for mercy. They finished
the job like soldiers. They did not serve food to the residents as if they were
women at a picnic."
In Florida we rounded up the oldsters and put them in the streets," Zell
said. "Even today when you travel through my mobile home parks you notice
the high proportion of vacant coaches. That is not because of Enron. That is
because of me-Samuel Zell, President of MHC/ELS, the glorious leader, the Anointed
One, Direct Descendant of the Prophet, Great Uncle to the people."
In his campaign against senior citizens, Zell crushed unrest with draconian
leases threatening eviction and homelessness-a tactic he said Ken Lay "would
never have the nerve to do."
"I remember the day my lawyer JP (John Party) personally posted eviction
notices on the doors of the seniors," Zell said, referring to the March
2004 eviction of several old folks leading to several heart attacks and strokes.
"That is how I got my nickname, "Grave Dancer.' Much better than "Kenny
Boy,' wouldn't you say?"
"The total number of ruined lives could be in the tens of thousands, and
that is not an idle boast," Zell said. "The Senate Select Subcommittee
on Manufactured Homeowners Rights and the SEC has been keeping extensive records
on my actions for years."
In fairness to Lay, Zell conceded that he had a significant head start plundering
pension plans, beginning in the late 90's funneling funds from pensions like
the Florida State Retirement System and the General Motors Pension Plan.
Back in 1996 Dumbrowski and I channeled the pension money of thousands into
my companies. This was a good 4 years before I would carry our the wave of evictions
that signaled my rise to the top of the Forbes 400."
"I recently heard a critic of Ken Lay say he is amoral," Zell said.
That made me laugh. Ken Lay amoral! My legal counsel Killeher and Heenegain
showed more visciousness at ten years of age."
"Ken has a long way to go before he can match me," Zell added. "My hands are red with the blood of the innocent. His are merely light pink."
****************************************************************************************************************************
Legislators and Community Leaders Standing up For Lilliputians
Santa Cruz, CA former Mayor Christopher Krohn
Santa Cruz, CA former Mayor Emily Reilly
Santa Cruz CA Mayor Scott Kennedy
Santa Cruz, CA city council member Ed Porter
Delaware state Senator Robert L. Venables
Delaware state Senator George H. Bunting Jr
Florida state Senator Mike Fasano
Florida state Representative John Legg
Florida Circuit Judge Susan R. Lubitz
Federal Judge Roger T.Benitez San Diego, CA
Santee CA Mayor Randy Voepel
San Diego, CA Supervisor Dianne Jacob
Delaware state Representatives:
John Atkins
Joseph Booth
Gerald Buckworth
George Carey
Wallace Caulk
D. Ennis
Tina Fallon
Deborah Hudson
William Oberle
Pamela Thornburg
Stephanie Ubricht
B. Ennis
Bethany Hal-Long
Michael Mulrooney
Peter Schwartzkopf
Dennis Williams
Santa Cruz Mayor Emily Reilly
"When I was elected to the (city) council, this whole issue seemed simple.
Not easy but clear: We had to have a backbone, we were on the side of the angels
and we had to stand up (for residents of DeAnza Mobile Estates)," Mayor
Emily Reilly said. "This is devastating to all of us that we had to agree
to this."
Santa Cruz, CA Vice mayor Scott Kennedy
said he felt nothing but sympathy for the owners of nearly 200 homes in the
(DAnza Santa Cruz) park. "Nobody on the council is exactly ecstatic about
this deal. But we've had a gun to our head." That gun was MHC's lawsuit
Delaware state Sen. Robert L. Venables, D-Laurel:
"Our job is to protect the people."
"We need to protect businesses too, but when businesses overstep their
bounds and human nature goes out the window, people have nowhere else to go
and turn to us.
"We have reached the point where people are being evicted. This is a last
resort."
Delaware state Sen. George H. Bunting Jr:
"MHC uses the court system all across the country to get what it wants.
It has a bad reputation of grinding down people in the courts.
And the arrogance of the paid dogs MHC sends out to do its
bidding really bothers me
Considering how the tenants have been getting
kicked around hard lately, I think it's time to exhibit some compassion and
move the pendulum back to center, back toward the tenants." People are
suffering."
"We have to send MHC a message,"
"This is a 600-pound gorilla that has landed in Delaware. They don't give
a **** about the people we represent."
Florida state Senator Mike Fasano
The standoff (by MHC park residents) was endorsed by state Sen. Mike Fasano
and state Rep. John Legg, who showed up Thursday and pledged to elevate the
issue with state authorities, including Attorney General Charlie Crist.
Florida state Representative John Legg
"Mr. Zell will be a little nervous when he sees the state of Florida standing
behind you," Legg said. He was referring to Sam Zell, the billionaire behind
Equity Lifestyle Properties and the nation's largest landlord.
Fasano and Legg sent Zell a letter Thursday. "It is unconscionable deeds
such as yours that force the legislature to step in and take action to defend
people you are trying to exploit," it read. "We are poised to file
legislation that will stop businesses such as yours from taking advantage of
our community's most vulnerable citizens."
Florida Circuit Judge Susan R. Lubitz
Palm Beach Circuit Judge Susan R. Lubitz ordered Equity Residential to remove
more than $15 million in charges from the credit reports of thousands of former
Equity tenants.
Lubitz also enjoined the Chicago-based company from continuing to charge such
fees and ordered it to set aside $1.6 million to compensate tenants who paid
the unlawful fees rather than allow it to be reported to credit bureaus.
17 Delaware House Representatives
Sponsors of Delaware house Resolution 68 urging MHC to modify business practices
*****************************************************************************************************************************
Established April 2004
SENATOR OF THE MONTH AWARD
Presented to
Florida State Senator
Mike Fasano
For excellence in standing up for the rights of the community's most vulnerable citizens
Presented in Sincere Gratitude and Appreciation
Signed and Sealed This Seventeenth Day of January, 2004 for The Lilliputians
Linda Ponzini
******************************************************************************
Established April 2004
LEGISLATOR OF THE MONTH AWARD
Presented to
Florida State Representative
JOHN LEGG
For excellence in standing behind the community's most vulnerable citizens
Presented in Sincere Gratitude and Appreciation
Signed and Sealed This Seventeenth Day of January, 2004 for The Lilliputians
Linda Ponzini
****************************************************************************************************************************
Mr.
Samuel Zell
161 East Chicago Ave. Apt. 62R
Chicago, Ill. 60611
Dear Mr. Zell:
I read with great interest the excerpt from the speech you made on May 13, 2004
in Israel, especially the part where you said, and I realize that one
of my biggest challenges is I have to figure out how to give away all the money.
Now, you would think with all the homeless people and everybody else, that giving
away money is very easy. The reality is it is very difficult and an unbelievable
challenge, particularly if your standards are such that you want to make a difference.
Well, Mr. Zell, apparently you enjoy a challenge so the residents of Harbor
View, in New Port Richey, Florida, hereby issues to you a direct challenge that
will not be difficult to bring to fruition.
Mr. Zell, MHC, Inc (Equity Lifestyle Properties Inc.) has just presented the
residents of Harbor View, a 90-day notice indicating a proposed rent increase
of $86.00 plus to $113.00 plus, which is between 30% to 44% increase over their
present base rent. Sir, most of the residents of this park are veterans of three
(3) wars who have defended their beloved country; many are widows or widowers
of veterans who gave their lives for this United States. Also, Mr. Zell, many
residents are surviving in the last home they will ever have just waiting for
their passage to the great beyond. One little wonderful lady at the young age
of 92 gets by on $560.00 per month on Social Security. She is not alone. If
this rent increase goes through you will be directly contributing to the growing
number of homeless in this great country of ours. They do not have the means
to pay a huge increase in their lot rent. What are they going to give up? Their
food, medication, insurance, or all the necessary ingredients for peace of mind
will have to be forfeited.
Rise up to this challenge Mr. Zell. I personally defended your right to become
an entrepreneur and became successful in the business world. I was 18 years
old in the nose turret of a B-24 Liberator bomber flying missions over Germany
defending your rights to be a free man. Many of the vets here were grunts on
the ground, you probably cant imagine the terror they went through. Many
thousands did not survive along with the terror of the holocaust. My heart bleeds
when I recall the horrors of the death camps.
I am 78 years old, going to be 79 in January and I relive the chaos and horror
of those days everyday.
The challenge we, the residents of Harbor View, in New Port Richey, Fl., is
put your money where your mouth is Mr. Zell, let us feel your earnest desire
to help people with your wealth.
If you present us with a debt-free warranty deed to this property you will really
be literally saving the lives of many people living in quiet desperation their
remaining few years on this planet.
Oh, by the way, Mr. Zell, on the day of the transfer of the park to Harbor View
Homeowners Association Inc., I will personally thank you for preserving the
dignity of all the residents of Harbor View and our treasurer will reimburse
you for any related attorney fees or other incidental fees connected with the
transfer of the warranty deed.
Now, Mr. Zell if our proposition is just too much philanthropy for you, consider
selling Harbor View to our association for a fair and reasonable price. The
residents are prepared to purchase, although it will prove to be a considerable
hardship for many.
Respectfully,
Don
Blatchford, Chairman
Homeowners Committee
Harbor View Mobile Home Park
5647 Clubhouse Dr.
New Port Richey, Fl. 34653
****************************************************************************************************
· "Nest Egg" Retention - Retirees desiring to preserve capital might just as well take a match to their nest egg if they buy into an MHC land-lease community because we will transfer your nest egg to our nest egg. The resident is free to invest what little is left of his or her capital in other ventures like legal fees staving off unfair management and is able to have a more flexible savings program to meet sudden shocking rent hikes.
· Transaction Costs - The lessee's time horizon for living in a particular community is often unpredictable. You know how damned unpredictable you retirees are; changing hats and homes with the wind, making leasing advisable in order to continue to pay us higher and higher rent for the bit of dirt you park your immobile home on. The cost of buying and selling a piece of land can take significant time to recoup and when buying your own land, the costs of necessary site preparation needs to be factored into your decision making. If you lease, we pass on all costs to you, tacking on a little itty-bitty, eensie-weensie teeney-weeney "pass through" fee.
· Additional Costs/Exposure to Market Volatility -
Land ownership brings exposure to real estate taxes and volatility in the land
market. Let us, the already super-rich, become even wealthier as we reap the
rewards of land ownership while you take all the risks and pay all the costs
through more of those itty-bitty "pass through" fees!
· Ease of Sale - Owning a home in a community owned
by a national company with a professional management team can also increase
the liquidity of your home. Should you actually have any equity left at all
to worry about when you sell, MHC offers a purchasing office with on-site expertise
in purchasing abandoned and foreclosed properties. Why last week alone we picked
up dozens of empty homes for peanuts! We don't even haggle over price. Once
all other buyers are driven away we save you the trouble of bickering over details
by purchasing directly from your lender who is often happy to unload the home.
· Pride of Ownership - The partnership between
the landowner and the lessee ensures that the interests of the lessor (that
would be us) will be met while those of the lessee (that would be you, loosely
called "homeowner") are proudly stomped upon. The community owner's
"fiduciary responsibility" to shareholders, insures reductions in
upkeep and grounds maintenance. As for the desirability of the community; who
cares if anyone else moves in? As the community empties out we simply jack up
the rents on the remaining residents. And our uniquely draconian lease provides
a multitude of built-in protections for the landowner (that would be us) simultaneously
stripping the lessee (that would be you) of all constitutional rights along
with your entire investment in the home. Voila! No ownership, no problem with
pride of ownership!
· Sense of Security - You may also have future
travel plans that would take you away from your primary residence for extended
periods of time and you may welcome the sense of security that exists in a land
lease community. We write into our leases special protections strictly prohibiting
any extended travel. In fact extended absences for any reason whatsoever will
be dealt with severely thereby increasing your sense of security as all of your
neighbors will be similarly trapped in their homes.
· Lifestyle Preferences - Community living offers
individuals an opportunity to share common interests among those in their own
neighborhood. However in MHC communities we keep residents out of clubhouses
whenever possible, padlocking the doors if neccessary, making every attempt
to prohibit any sort of community organizing or spirit. An abundance of activities
and resort-style amenities combine to offer residents a fabulous lifestyle.
And our fabulously greedy management teams will be actively on hand to charge
abundantly extra should you desire to actually use any of them while intrusive
groundskeepers and pesky maintenance personnel will be notably absent.
In summary, it is important to consider all factors when making your home buying decision. Equity Lifestyle Properties (formerly MHC) is hoping like crazy that you will be naïve enough to buy into this scam. Because if you don't we may go belly up while you might get away with your pocketbook intact which we simply cannot allow. Call today to speak directly with one of our Vampires who are waiting thirstily by the phones to suck the lifeblood out of yet another hapless retiree.
12/12/2004
fabricated for your amusement
Former billionaire Sam Zell sold the last of his mobile home parks to residents at fire sale prices last week in Delaware.
Overjoyed seniors took to the streets in wild celebration carrying Delaware Governor Ruth Anne on their shoulders singing the Beatles old hit "All I Want To Do Is Thank You Girl".
Zell, driven into bankruptcy after a series of crushing legal defeats wherein tenants in his vast holdings were awarded millions in damages, was unavailable for comment.
Zell's cashflow came to a grinding halt when new victims became unavailable as the public became increasingly aware of the nationwide swindle in mobile home parks where corporate owners jacked up rents on helpless seniors leaving many penniless and homeless.
In an ironic twist of fate, Zell now lives in a trailer park in Utah where he remains under house arrest pending the outcome of criminal charges.
****************************************************************************************************************************
fabricated for your amusement
Florida-MHC, the world's largest mobile home park owner,
announced one of its biggest-ever rent increase Monday, with space rental rates
up as much as 45% percent overnight.
Just in time for the holidays, we're jacking up rent as much as 40% in our Florida parks or should I say 'communities' and so many more rent increases are planned!" MHC president and CEO Sam Smell announced at a press conference. "From Santa Cruz to Fort Lauderdale, we're continuing our tradition of high, high rents and using our muscle to create unbelievable wealth!"
"For us!" Smell added.
Smell then turned to a large projection screen on which the company's trademark gang of lawyers whizzed through the streets of the mobile home parks, enthusiastically raising the rent of senior residents all over the country.
"Charging $250 a month for space rental?" a cheery narrator asked in amused disbelief. "How about $550? And free storage sheds? How about $50 a month? We think $75 sounds more like it!"
In addition to rent increases, Smell said MHC will discontinue a number of services including gardening and general maintenance, and close clubhouses altogether that have been occupying valuable space.
"Why, some of those old people have been collecting dust in our parks and ledgers for five years," the narrator said as the legal thugs ushered reluctant ex-residents with their empty pocketbooks to the parking lot. "It's time for a park-wide clearance! Out with the old and in with the new!"
The beaming corporate attorneys then placed a sign reading "For Rent-98% of Your Monthly Take Home" in a window and welcomed in a long line of smiling applicants bearing bulging bank accounts and brand new loan applications.
"MHC is the place to find the latest of everything!" the narrator said. "The benefits of having long-time residents around don't add up to the money we are losing. It's time for newer, fresher, richer faces!"
As a result of the announcement, MHC's stock rose 20 points
Monday.
"We're very excited," MHC stockholder J. R. Stewart said. "After
all, everyone loves a good value. And you can't beat the combination of high
rent and zero maintenance for increasing good old-fashioned shareholder value."
According to Smell, residents at all 250 MHC/EL parks and 1,671 R.V. parks will be notified of rent increases this week by greeters stationed at the entrance of each park. Greeters will address residents by their first names, shake their hands, and inform them of the park's special new rent plan. Those who remain will find red "Rent Increase!" stickers on their windows in celebration of the occasion and in compliance with the scant federal regulations protecting mobile home park residents from unfair rent increases.
"Wow! A 43% increase!" said Jacob Stone, who lives
in a Santa Cruz, Ca, MHC park. "I can't believe it! Why, I never saw increases
like this when I used to live at the family-owned Greenhouse!"
"But that was a few years ago," Stone added. "Nowadays, you can
drive all over town looking for someplace to live, but good luck. MHC is the
single biggest landlord in 23 states!"
In spite of the reduced ability of tenants to pay, MHC legal counsel Ellen Killjoy said she isn't worried about incurring losses.
"What we might lose in terms of shrinkage of our occupancy rate, we'll make back almost immediately," Killjoy said. "That's what's so great about being a part of so many small communities across the country-once we get a location up and running, people find out they can't afford not to stay with us!"
In a related plan, Killjoy said MHC/ELS plans to slash the prices it pays park managers in various Pacific and East coast communities by 20, 30, and even 40 percent.
************************************************************************************************
December 7, 2004
"Manufactured Housing Global Network" is a one-stop website loaded with information for the prospective manufactured home owner.
They even offer web logs covering topics such as "Ask the Manufactured Housing Expert" and "Manufactured Home Owners Forum" and most egregiously "First Time Home Buyers". Through resident experts "Chrissy Jackson" and "murray" they control the information provided to first time homebuyers.
No one is ever informed of the potentially devastating effects of buying a home in a corporate owned land-lease park. In fact the issue is repeatedly glossed over and hidden.
When I post honest answers on these "web logs" my messages are deleted.
This so-called "global network" is nothing more than another conduit of corporate-neutered information designed to create the illusion that all is well in land-lease mobile home parks and to keep the truth from its customer base; prospective new mobile-home buyers. Without the crop of new homebuyers, their game is over.
**********************************************************************************************
LAKELAND-If God is merciful, I'll be snug
in my subterranean shelter and you'll all be drowned by the hellish storms.
As you poachers shudder in your little trailers, I will be safely ensconced
three miles below the earth's surface listening to my iPOD and enjoying a
delicious meal.
My shelter is a lavish network of antechambers encased in a steel and titanium
alloy several yards thick. It has all the latest amenities; such as central
cooling and enough fine wine and cigars to last well into the next millennium.
I will be waited on hand and foot by a bevy of comely young lady-actresses.
And as the storms are busy blowing away your sodden remains with relentless
winds and torrential rains, I will be hard at work underground fathering an
invincible warrior race of Zweibels which will one day emerge into the sunlight
and annihilate the occupation of all mobile home parks once and for all!
So adios apologists and Underdogs of the Senior Menace! We true Capitalists
will one day have our rightful place in the sun.
! **************************************************************************
CHICAGO-Horrible asshole Sam Smell, known
throughout the Chicago area as an insufferable, mean-spirited prick whose
enormous wealth has enabled him to disregard the basic human dignity of everyone
with whom he comes into contact, is even richer today thanks to the recent
acquisition of Thousand Trails, sources reported Thursday.
It is expected that Sam Smell, an awful person who already has more money
than any human being could possibly need, will reap untold profits by raising
rents outrageously on his new tenants.
"My watch cost more than you'll make
in your entire life," Smell said to a waitress at the Russian Tea Room.
"Get me another one of those highballs, you stupid slut."
Smell has, sources report, never afforded another human being an ounce of
respect in his life. He is said to be incapable of any form of love except
for the inhuman lust for money that feeds his black heart. Described as "that
evil, evil jerk" by family members, domestic servants and virtually every
other person who encounters him, Smell possesses an all consuming assholitude
that is widely attributed to his vast wealth, which provides him with an impenetrable
social barrier against all consequences of his assholic actions.
Despite his incurable assholism, Smell has received high praise from many
well-respected economic observers for his unwavering commitment to capitalistic
gain. "Smell is an American hero," wrote William F. Buckley in a
recent National Review editorial. "Let's hear it for this rich, rich
man."
****************************************************************************************************************************
fabricated
for your amusement
Subj: Specials From Your Friends at MHCHOMES.com
Date: 10/4/2004 1:15:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: ExperienceMHC@mhchomes.com
To: minpix@aol.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
Dear Ms. Ponzini
Your friends at MHC, http://www.mhchomes.com, invite you
to take advantage of our special offers and events occurring at some of our
finest communities across the nation.
(By now, all of you have received the rent letter for
2005 from MHC, once again making spurious "legal" threats in an attempt
to create panic and dissension in the park. This attempt to intimidate the homeowners
from exercising their rights under the lease will, itself, be further evidence
of MHC's bad faith and unfair dealing.)
Interested in Relocating Soon?
(I live in an MHC park in San Jose, CA. They are increasing rents in our park up to and beyond 80%. We are going to have to suffer... Elderly folks on Social Security risk being forced out of their homes.)
(Being an honest person and one who believes in living up to my obligations, I just "can't" walk on my home. But I am afraid that one day I won't be able to afford to live here any way and that they will have to come and throw me out.)
Click below for a listing of beautiful new homes available.
http://www.mhchomes.com
CountryWood - MHC's fabulous community located near beautiful Tampa,Florida has an abundance of activities and amenities.
(The Homeowners Association meets regularly to decipher the latest attack from MHC's team of legal thugs.) With its 27 (pot)-hole course, beautiful (padlocked) clubhouses, (with decorative signage like "NO TRESSPASSING"), refreshing (freezing) swimming pools, tennis courts (quaint weeds filling the otherwise unsightly cracks), exercise facilities (including bolt cutting classes especially helpful during hurricane season), game room, whirlpool & (non-functioning) spa, and beautiful waterfront home sites we are sure you will agree that CountryWood has something for everyone. (THE PARKS ARE JUST A MESS AND WE KEEP GETTING RAISES EVERY YEAR. FOR WHAT I KNOW OUR PARK HAS NEVER LOOKED THIS BAD IN THE 10 YEARS I HAVE LIVED HERE).
We also want to welcome our newest neighborhood, The Arbors at CountryWood, featuring a new traditional neighborhood design offering nostalgic living at it's best! (THEY THREW EVERYBODY OUT OF ONE PARK AND CONVERTED IT INTO AN ASSISTED LIVING COMMUNITY AT 4 TIMES THE CURRENT LOT RENT. IT IS REALLY GOOD TO KNOW THAT MHC IS HATED IN OTHER PARTS OF THE UNITED STATES!)
Our homes feature traditional Colonial, American Craftsman, Florida Cracker and National Folk architecture with exceptional quality built to meet the needs of our residents. The 64 homes at the Arbors at CountryWood will feature homes priced from the 70's to the mid 100's. We are now taking lot deposits for these beautiful homes. (I was told personally by an MHC Division Vice President that if somebody can't afford to live in an MHC community then they better leave! Maybe MHC will start a drowning program and get rid of the old folks who don't have enough money to satisfy these crooks!) Don't miss your chance at this fantastic opportunity!
We're hosting a Grand Opening Celebration on September 25th from 11:00 am to 3:00 pm at Coquina Crossing near St. Augustine, Florida!
(We will be talking about the continuous vandalism in the Park as well as the progress or lack of in our fight with MHC! Nothing is selling except the new ones MHC is moving and making deals on incl, come-on rents just to the ones they sell! They are rotten to the core!)
The event will include live music and station giveaways by COOL 96.9 FM, free hot dogs and drinks (dunkings), and contests to win tickets to the Alhambra Dinner Theater for "SLUMLORD," a Broadway musical tribute to Sam Zell, which includes both drawings (drownings) as well as other great prices (rent hikes)!
Grand Island Resort and Mid Florida Lakes, two of Central Florida's beautiful waterfront communities, are featuring $5,000 off select new model homes. Don't miss your chance to experience these spectacular waterfront communities. (Have lived in this park, Mid-Florida Lakes Yacht Club (ha ha) for 14 years and shortly after MHC purchased the park for an inflated value they struck like a cobra with fangs bared and enough poison to kill the park. They created a splinter group to fight the honest residents, which has caused a great amount of sorrow for many of the residents. Although we live on lakes we more often only have water to look at out the window as the sad water system in their park sucks)
Date Palm Country Club, located near Palm Springs, California, is situated at the base of the San Jacinto and Santa Rosa Mountain Ranges, providing residents with spectacular views from every angle. (Help. My wife and I live in the Gulag called Date Palm Country Club, In Cathedral City, CA. As of July 1, 2004 we will be paying $735.00 space rent. MHC is a lying bunch of Mafia types in suits portraying themselves as business-men.) Plus, residents enjoy(ed) our 18-hole executive golf course, 3 sparkling swimming pools, fabulous clubhouse, restaurant, spa and tennis courts (before all maintenance ceased). Beautiful new model homes available now.
Our top priority is to help you find a home and a community that not only meets all of your needs, but exceeds your expectations. (We have had a person commit suicide, another had a heart attack (of which I have heard), possibly others, and numerous senior citizens had to give up their homes and move out of state.)
Please do not hesitate to respond directly to this email or, if you prefer, you can give us a call at (888) 293-9343 to ask any additional questions you may have. Again, thank you for letting us tell you more about MHC communities. We look forward to informing you of our upcoming specials. (Also, another thing, just as soon as MHC knows there is rent control ordinance, they come into the cities and financially proceed to destroy the city.)
We hope you decide to experience 'the life in a day'(I have lived in De Anza since 1987. My Mom passed away here. I am a social worker with the elderly. I had to hire professionals to counsel residents here after we lost over 30 Million in equity. People could not sleep, could not eat, had stress related illnesses and some just walked away, others died. This is criminal. We need justice.)at an MHC community very soon!
( What a living Hell this place has turned into. People are "walking" on their homes as fast as the moving trucks can get here. Our home values have dropped to half of what we owe or less and now land rent is going to go up at least $100 a month even though we have rent control. " If we don't like it, we can see them in court". No one will loan money on a purchase so the only thing we can do is re-finance and the only company that will handle the paper is Green Tree).
We hope you enjoyed receiving this message. However, if you would prefer not to receive future notices of this kind from MHC please reply to this message with the word "unsubscribe" in the subject field.
Sincerely,
Cynthia Jordan, Marketing Representative
(actual letter from MHC in black, quotes from MHC residents
in red)
****************************************************************************************************************************
Earth to MHC
June 6, 2004
MHC spokesman Kellerhers letter in response to the Mercury News article regarding Westwinds Mobile Home Park is full of half-truths, mistruths, innuendos and opinions unsupported by facts. The most glaring and worthy of a response include the following:
1. Lets get the chicken and the egg straight here. MHCs recognition in the mobile home industry is not the result of careful management. MHC entered the picture buying high quality well-maintained communities, many under rent control. They are not known for coming into a community and improving the park. What they are notorious for is overturning local laws and ordinaces, jacking up rents, and reducing upkeep. In fact it is part of their mission statement: We believe that in some markets the environment continues to favor residents by too wide a margin. Regulations adopted in many municipalities threaten to erode shareholder value over time, and we are committed to obtaining market-based rents. Zell at 2002 MHC board meeting.
2. Kellehers attempt to wow us with having spent a whopping $3,500,000 over the last 7 years on repairs, maintenance and capital expenditures, far from refuting assertions made in Ken Mclaughlins article, in fact demonstrates his point clearly. On my calculator $3.5 million divided by 723 spaces over a 7year period, amounts to $691 spent annually on a per space basis. MHC shareholders ought to be happy with that since using Westwinds figure of $769 a month, each space generates $9,500 per year in rent. This represents 7.5% of annual revenues spent on repairs, maintenance and capital expenditures combined. A small figure by anyone's standards. Maybe Ms. Kelleher would like to be equally forthright in telling us how much MHC has spent in legal costs challenging rent control.
3. She complains that the State of California, through its mobile home residency law and health and safety codes is protecting mobile home owners at her expense. San Joses rent control for mobile homes has been in existence since 1979, updated in 1985 and was firmly in place when MHC bought in1997. (Mobile Home rent control ordinances stand alone from other forms of rent regulation in that they exist solely because mobile homes are not really mobile and unlike apartments or other rental situations, residents (and the banks who provide them with home mortgages) have invested significant amounts of money. And unlike apartments, residents pay for all repairs, maintenance, insurance, utilities, and landscaping.) For MHC to cry foul now and paint themselves as the victim here is absurd. Anyone reading an annual shareholders report and those benefiting from the recent $8 per share dividend can hardly complain about a lack of profits for the company.
Their game plan from the beginning has been to buy property at artificially low prices, change the law, then jack up the rents thereby increasing their margin substantially. Its as simple as that.
4. Kelleher asserts that it is well known that real-estate values in San Jose have increased well beyond the rate of increased rent they are allowed to charge. Increases in land value do not directly correspond to rent increases in a given area.
5. In the face of all evidence to the contrary, Kelleher predicts that the overwhelming majority of residents have no major axe to grind with her. Her crystal ball must be blurry. I dont know about Westwinds but at DeAnza Santa Cruz the overwhelming majority of residents had major hatchets, machetes and blades to grind with MHC.
6. Citing a few bad apples who dont pay, maintain their homes or respect the common areas she infers that The Mercury and Ken Mclaughlin are irresponsible in championing a handful of unruly vandals. The article I read by Ken McLaughlin described conscientious law abiding citizens joined together through their HOA and in conjunction with the city of San Jose in a common cause.
7. Ellens concern for the homeowner trying to make ends meet is touching. She vigilantly factored in everything except the single most costly item in that new homeowners budget: the ever increasing price tag on the rent she charges for the little plot of land the home sits on.
She then jumps to the wild conclusion that rent control is the real culprit in the deteriorating conditions at Westwinds. And here her warmhearted compassion ends as she bitterly complains that the truth is that state regulations make it difficult for her to evict people efficiently especially when they claim hardship caused by an inability to pay the latest outrageous rent increase.
Ellen's denial that MHC is an irresponsible
operator sounds particularly weak when you consider the fact that homeowner-created
websites are springing up like sunflowers on the internet all painting a picture
of unconscionable corporate greed. Many such sites include quotes from angry
Mayors, Attorneys General, City leaders and senators:
said Sen. George H. Bunting Jr., D-Bethany Beach. "MHC uses the court
system all across the country to get what it wants. It has a bad reputation
of grinding down people in the courts. And the arrogance of the paid dogs MHC
sends out to do its bidding really bothers me
Considering how the tenants
have been getting kicked around hard lately, I think it's time to exhibit some
compassion and move the pendulum back to center, back toward the tenants. People
are suffering. We have to send MHC a message. This is a 600-pound gorilla that
has landed in Delaware. They don't give a damn about the people we represent."
Sen. Robert L. Venables, D-Laurel, said he supported SB 222 even though he likes
to keep government out of business matters: "Our job is to protect the
people."
"We need to protect businesses too, but when businesses overstep their
bounds and human nature goes out the window, people have nowhere else to go
and turn to us.
"We have reached the point where people are being evicted. This is a last
resort."
("MHC versus the Lilliputians" contains
evidence from all over the nation documenting MHC's outrageous behavior.) http://www.mhcvsthelilliputians.cjb.net/
Ellen is right about one thing: the entire landlord tenant relationship is out
of kilter. When a monstrously enormous bloodthirsty corporation with bottomless
pockets and full-time teams of unethical legal thugs goes to bat with your average
mobile home owner the playing field is anything but level.
*************************************************************************************************
May 17, 2004
Who wants to be a Zellionaire?
Nearly everyone, (myself included), has asked why I am bothering with this website idea. My parent's loss of the equity in their home, which, like so many of their friends, represented their life savings, is the obvious answer. Add the thrashing their dignity, peace of mind, independence, freedom and self-esteem took at the hands of Sam Zell and the reasons become pretty compelling.
But there is something else. That anyone can keep getting away with this mass-mugging of the country's most vulnerable while the Elliot Spitzer's of the world claim to be going after corporate wrong-doers infuriates me.
And that this blatant barefaced criminal enjoys the limelight as some sort of financial genius, celebrated around the globe is just too stinking much to swallow. If, even in the face of all the evidence, he keeps his saintly status then I guess I will just have to quit believing that there is anything fair and just about this country. My running partner assures me there are noble and good politicians and that our county is still better than most when it comes to democracy. But I am losing faith.
My husband warns me not to expect that anyone is going to listen or care about this issue. He asks, for example, why the organizers of an international real-estate conference would care enough to bother to change their keynote speaker at the last minute just because some housewife in Watsonville, CA thinks they should. I ask why not?
How can anyone plant Sam Zell on their podium and put their hands together to applaud him and all he stands for after visiting the Lilliputians? How do they go home and sleep peacefully knowing that they just became complicit in this mass homeland terrorism? I hate to believe that we are not reaching even one heart with this website, one mind that will change, one person that will take a stand and join us. But the silence has been deafening. I guess they all want to be Zellionaires.
**********************************************************************************************
May 15, 2004
Dear Lilliputians, You can "copy and paste" the letter below and e-mail it to these two addresses of people who are about to feature Zell as a keynote speaker in Houston Texas May 27, 2004 houston2004@fiabaci-usa.com and pyke@fiabaci.com. Or write your own.
To FIABACI, FYI:
The Grave Dancer "Vulture Investor" Sam Zell, through his billion dollar corporation, MHC, makes his livelihood shaking down fixed income old people, mostly female, for their lifesavings. He leaves in his wake widespread poverty, despair hopelessness and is dancing on more than a few graves.
Zell systematically buys rent-capped mobile home parks on the cheap then unleashes his legal team with it's $50 million dollar war chest to overturn local and state laws designed to protect seniors from unreasonable rent increases.
Where formerly existed banana bread recipe websites, parties, and a host of charitable activities, now exist increasingly empty communities as Zell, who has smashed the sense of community and broken the spirit of the residents, waits out the last oldsters in each.
Instead of enjoying their golden years people are going to their graves battling this corporate giant. Many have already lost hundreds of millions of dollars collectively to Zell.
This scenario is playing out in California, Florida, Delaware, Colorado, Oregon, Illinois, Arizona, North Carolina -in more than half the states from coast to coast in over 200 MHC-owned parks.
Zell, whose disarming appearance is more like Santa than Satan, does not even pretend to feel any compassion for the people he is steamrollering. Nope, it's all about the money.
Widely considered a Wall Street genius, for some he is Satan incarnate.
In a perverse taking from the poor and giving to the rich, he has given millions to PENN's Wharton School of Business where the Zell-Lurie Institute carries his name and to his alma mater, the University of Michigan.
Meanwhile his victims have likened him to the Mafia and Hitler.
The frightening part is, he schedules speaking engagements all over the country instructing young entrepreneurs in his method.
The outrageous greed of this man and his company need to meet the light of day.
Our hope is that where the legal system has thus far failed, the court of public opinion will not.
Please visit our website where you will see a picture forming of corporate gluttony run amok. http://www.mhcvsthelilliputians.cjb.net/
****************************************************************************************************************************
May 14, 2004
Dear Dolly,
A growing number of little old ladies nationwide are organizing a mass breast-baring demonstration hoping to bring their plight before the public eye.
While our breasts may be sagging, flabby, drooping and in some cases gone altogether, we reckon yours are perfect for the job we need done. And that is to focus the national spotlight on an issue that sorely needs to meet the light of day.
Willing to allow our poor chests to meet that light in a desperate effort to gain nation-wide attention, we are hoping that you will find it in your heart to join us.
Your reputation as champion of the little guy combined with your steadfast ability to remember your humble beginnings (not to mention your tremendous courage in going face to face with such grotty characters as Bill O'Reilly) lead us to believe that you might be interested in helping us with our struggle in facing down yet another unsavory character.
We propose uncovering what John Ashcroft would consider shamelessly indecent to uncover the real obscenity here.
Chicago billionaire and self-proclaimed "Vulture Investor" Sam Zell, heads a multi-billion dollar publicly traded corporation, Manufactured Home Communities (MHC), that makes it's livelihood shaking down fixed income old people, mostly female, for their lifesavings. He leaves in his wake widespread poverty, despair and hopelessness.
Zell systematically buys rent-capped mobile home parks on the cheap then unleashes his legal team with it's $50 million dollar war chest to overturn local and state laws designed to protect seniors from unreasonable rent increases.
Where formerly existed banana bread recipe websites, parties, and a host of charitable activities, now exists increasingly empty communities as Zell waits out the last oldsters in each. Instead of enjoying their golden years people are going to their graves battling this corporate giant. Many have already lost hundreds of millions of dollars collectively to Zell.
This scenario is playing out in California, Florida, Delaware, Colorado, Oregon, Illinois, Arizona, North Carolina -in more than half the states from coast to coast in over 200 MHC-owned parks.
Zell, whose disarming appearance is more like Santa than Satan, does not even pretend to feel any compassion for the people he is steamrollering. Nope, it's all about the money.
Widely considered a Wall Street genius, for some he is Satan incarnate.
He has given millions in endowments to PENN's Wharton School of Business and the University of Michigan (his alma mater), holds an honorary professorship at Harvard, and sits on the board of numerous charities.
He schedules speaking engagements all over the country instructing young entrepreneurs in his method. The National Association of Real Estate Investors Trust (NAREIT) included Zell on their list of 25 most influential in Real Estate in 2002)
Meanwhile his victims have likened him to the Mafia and Hitler.
The abominable greed of this man and his company need to meet the light of day.
Our hope is that where the legal system has thus far failed, the court of public opinion will not.
Please visit our website where you will see a picture forming of what can only be considered shockingly obscene; outrageous corporate gluttony run amok.
http://www.mhcvsthelilliputians.cjb.net/
Sincerely,
Linda Ponzini
Dear Lilliputians, You can add your name to the bottom of this letter, print it out if you have a printer and mail it to:
Dolly Parton
Crockett Rd. Rt. 1
Brentwood, TN 37027
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MHC's Terrorist Handbook
fabricated for your amusement
May 11, 2004
Dismantle Clubhouse in any way possible. This is a high priority
item. Clubhouses pose a serious threat in that they provide the residents with
a place to gang up.
Variations include but are not limited to:
1. Endlessly repair walkways leading to front door.
2. Remove gathering spots like fireplaces (this can be cleverly disguised as
environmental friendliness).
3. Remove furniture.
4. Remodel kitchen area. Never finish the job.
5. Close off previously repaired areas in the name of permit problems. Never
get permit. Blame old management.
6. Charge astronomical fees for use of Clubhouse. Call them insurance fees.
7. Require a permit for any alcohol consumption on premises. Blame local ordinances.
8. Do not repair handicapped stalls in bathrooms. This only encourages use.
9. Lock all previously unlocked doors and require asking for a key from management.
10. Do not allow residents space for clubhouse table.
11. Turn heat down or off altogether. If they want to get warm they can wear
more clothes.
12. If Clubhouse "accidentally" burns down, do not replace it.
Discourage use of swimming pools and hot tubs when available
by turning off the heat.
If park is age restricted, change that. Allow anyone and everyone to move in
to park. Give convicted felons first choice.
Allow all types and sizes of dogs, regardless of park rules. Have no requirements for cleaning up the feces.
Take down entry sign and replace with new name or misspell the park name. This has a disorienting effect on the old ones and lets them know who is boss.
If community is gated or guarded in any way, take it down. We are not in the business of private security. This maneuver works best when followed by a large sign inviting public access. Blame county planning department.
Mail out announcements of huge rent increases. Make sure mailing appears to be an actual rent increase. 500% increases work best at inducing heart attacks, strokes and general panic.
Raise all fees possible including but not limited to water, garbage, sewer, and septic.
Introduce Draconian leases full of " legalese". These should be at least 40 pages long. Announce on lease cover letter to consult a lawyer before signing. Allow 24 hours for this consultation to take place.
Conduct regular inspections of home-sites. Liberally distribute citations for
lease violations. Threaten with eviction.
Conduct regular inspections of interiors of homes for possible lease violations, including but not limited to mold. Liberally distribute citations. Threaten with eviction.
Suggest in lease that neighbors rat on each other about possible lease violations. Follow up on all tips. Threaten with eviction.
Require automatic withdrawal of rent as part of lease.
Arrange for regular reassessments of fair market rents. Wear a suit when conducting the survey. Carry a briefcase. Wear sunglasses. Remain aloof and non-communicative.
Increase rents at least but not limited to annually. Insure that rents are higher than anyplace else in town. (Remember they have nowhere else to go and those pesky state laws do not limit the frequency or amount of increases anymore.)
Delay road maintenance whenever possible. Potholes are good for keeping walkers off the streets.
Trim trees and shrubs only when residents demand action. Claim to have an annual maintenance program.
Fire all existing management. Give no reason. Give 48 hours to leave.
Fire local management annually. Give no reason. Allow 48 hours to leave.
If homeowners want something, go out of your way to make sure they do not get it.
Undermine ability to sell homes by undercutting prices and insisting on astronomical rents upon any new sales.
Hijack park newsletter. Allow no unflattering articles regarding park management or maintenance
Finally respond to all requests and inquiries with " If you don't like it here MOVE!"
************************************************************************************************
Subj: Thousands of Senior Voters Nationwide
Counting on Kerry
Date: 5/8/2004 3:39:20 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Minpix
To:statepages@johnkerry.com
Dear Senator Kerry,
Today I was asked to sign a petition supporting you in your demand that Rumsfeld resign over his role in the Iraqi POW fiasco. Of course I signed immediately.
Now I would like to ask you to sign our petition regarding a desperate situation here on the home front.
Please show your support for thousands of senior voters in key states Florida (27 electoral votes), Arizona (10 electoral votes) and Colorado (9 electoral votes) not to mention 19 other states currently affected by this situation by adding your name to our website. (Florida alone has 50 MHC-owned mobile home parks with 40,000 residents)
Our position is simply that, while the actions of the corporation described below may be judged legal in the tiniest loophole of the law, there is no way to deem them right.
http://www.mhcvsthelilliputians.cjb.net
Chicago billionaire and self-proclaimed "Vulture Investor" Sam Zell,
heads a multi-billion dollar publicly traded corporation, Manufactured Home
Communities (MHC), that makes it's livelihood shaking down old people for their
lifesavings. He leaves in his wake widespread poverty, despair and hopelessness.
Zell systematically buys rent-capped mobile home parks on the cheap then unleashes his legal team with it's $50 million dollar war chest to overturn local and state laws designed to protect seniors and low income families from unreasonable rent increases.
Where formerly existed banana bread recipe websites, parties, and a host of charitable activities, now exists increasingly empty communities as Zell waits out the last folks in each. Instead of enjoying their golden years people are going to their graves battling this corporate giant.
This scenario is playing out in California, Florida, Delaware, Colorado, Oregon, Illinois, Arizona -in more than 22 states coast to coast in over 200 MHC-owned parks.
Zell's system has been so successful that he recently pulled $500 million out of the inflated valuation arising from higher margins on rents and utilities. Growing bolder with each legal victory, he is in the middle of a buying spree adding to MHC's holdings by 30% in the next 6 months alone.
Zell is a Chicago boy. For some he is a Wall Street genius. For some he is Satan incarnate. Zell, whose disarming appearance is more like Santa than Satan, does not even pretend to feel any compassion for the people he is steamrollering. Nope, it's all about the money.
Senators, Assemblypersons, Congressmen, Attorney Generals, and a host of legal representatives agree on one thing: Zell and his team of legal thugs are immoral. But so far no one has figured out how to stop him.
Currently Zell enjoys a near-saintly status on Wall Street as a financial guru. He has given millions in endowments to PENN's Wharton School of Business( where his name graces the Zell-Lurie Institute), and the University of Michigan (his alma mater), holds an honorary professorship at Harvard, and sits on the board of numerous charities.
He schedules speaking engagements all over the country instructing young entrepreneurs in his method. The National Association of Real Estate Investors Trust (NAREIT) included Zell on their list of 25 most influential in Real Estate in 2002.
Meanwhile his victims have likened him to the Mafia and Hitler.
The outrageous greed of this man and his company need to meet
the light of day.
Our hope is that where the legal system has thus far failed, the court of public
opinion will not.
Squeaky B. Mouse
Dear Readers, You can cut and paste this letter, put your name on it and send it to statepages@johnkerry.com
****************************************************************************************************************************
Little Old Ladies Plan Breast Baring Demonstration
May 4, 2004
A growing number of little old ladies are signing up for a mass demonstration protesting outrageous corporate greed run amok.
Reasoning that since Oprah spent and entire show tying to save one old woman from baring her breasts ever again before a pornographer's camera, she might intervene before it is too late for them. While to date Oprah has shown no concern for their dilemma, they are banking on her desire to keep them from the pornographers' eye.
Hoping to draw national attention to their plight, they are organizing a mass breast-baring to happen simultaneously in states nationwide from California to Delaware. The press will be invited as will porn magazine photographers.
Said Linda in California, "We may be going down at the hands of MHC/Sam Zell (the corporate giant in this case) but we are not going down without witnesses."
In a recent letter to Oprah they wrote:
Dear Oprah
I have been thinking about the show where you humiliated the 50 year-old woman
who posed nude for an x-rated magazine. We have been appealing to you for a
few years now with an issue genuinely worthy of your attention.
Suddenly it came to me as a revelation. I have a growing group of little old ladies who will gladly disrobe and pose nude if that is what it takes to get noticed by you these days. Even my housekeeper and a few of the last remaining men in our primarily senior communities have volunteered (although I am not certain that you find nude men quite as offensive).
What we really want is your help in publicly humiliating a man who truly deserves the exposure. A man whose actions are so heinous they bear an uncanny resemblance to the greatest criminals in history, his primary targets being us little old ladies. All the while he enjoys the national spotlight as a great benefactor and financial genius.
Oprah, if we learned one thing from your ill-chosen show it was that you will spend time trying to stop women from posing nude. So if you continue to ignore us and this urgent issue we are going public with our bare breasts (or in some cases breast).
I have attached a cover letter explaining our plight and a link to a website which continues to gather information documenting our accusations against this man.
Says Barb of Delaware, "I'm not going to let MHC finish what breast cancer
couldn't do!" -Lilliputian Voice May 4, 2004
Dear Lilliputians, You can cut and paste the above leter
and e-mail it to Oprah at: oprah.com@oprah.com
***********************************************************************************************************************************
Obituaries
Squeaky B. Mouse
May 3, 2004
Beaudelaire died peacefully in my palm Tuesday April 27 at 2 A.M. Zack pointed out the obvious; he was no longer breathing. It was fitting that he was laid to rest on May 1 under the tree-house where he was born. May Day is not only the celebration of the beginning of spring and rebirth, but a day celebrating the power of the working class. In attendance was the murderer of Beaudelaire's mother. Apparently unfazed by the solemnity of the occasion, he unabashedly romped and barked gaily among the mourners. As we inter Beaudelaire in his tiny coffin 6" under, we celebrate his life and passing and firm our resolve to stay the course. This diminutive creature may have lived a mere five days but he made a giant impact on the lives he touched. In his honor we are renaming the editorial page of this website: The Lilliputian Voice: The Squeaky Wheel.
***********************************************************************************************************************************
The Squeaky Wheel aka Beaudelaire
April 26, 2004
This morning I awoke at 4:30 to the squeaking of our infant, orphan, week-old
mouse, Beaudelaire, calling as usual for breakfast. I opened the pantry and
looked in his box to find him lying on his back, feet in the air. I poked him
and rolled him but he was stiff and immobile. It must have been the birds I
heard. I felt crushed.
Unable to get back to sleep, I turned on the computer and tried to work on our infant, orphan, week-old website but all my enthusiasm was gone. I didn't ask to meet Beaudelaire any more than I had gone looking for a fight with MHC. Both had been dropped in my life by family members. But once I got involved it became a full commitment. I had begun to see the miraculous survival of this tiny wild mouse as symbolic of our website and the battle with MHC success with either seemed unlikely at best. Yet each morning, astonishingly, our miniscule rodent was still alive. If this Lilliputian could make it against all odds, so could we.
Beaudelaire's death was devastating. I decided to throw in
the towel on the website and the fight. My 9 year-old son who was on the pre-dawn
feeding circuit cried his eyes out. My husband joined in the tears then we searched
the house for a Lilliputian-sized coffin. Wanting to spare our other two children
the shock of discovering our pint-sized charge dead, we decided to present him
at peace on a cotton ball in his itty-bitty jewelry box of a casket. As Larry
carefully lifted the motionless creature into his hand, Beaudelaire stirred,
"Hey Linda, you'd better learn how to tell when something is dead."
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