Issue Two: Am I being annoying? Am I? Am I? Huh?
Contents:
1.1) Editorial
2.1) Tutorial: Keen Edit
3.1) Interview: OMG! Commander Keen![?]
4.1) News
5.1) Fanfiction
6.1) Mortimers mindbender
Editorial by M. McMire
Well well, well. It appears that a lot less has happend in th' ol community this month. Good riddance to bad rubbish if you ask me. Its about time you pathetic vermin got a life. Of course, if you're still reading this, that means not only are you still "keening" but you've actually bothered to vist this damn site just to be insulted. And as for my background music being annoying, isn't that the point? Get a clue morons!
And you wonder why I want to anhilate you all. Heck, you're still reading this aren't you? Drop dead get lost! piss off? Can't you take a hint?
You're STILL reading this? Oh for god's sake...
Tutorial: KeenEdit
[Because I was too lazy to learn how to use anything else.]
KeenEdit is an outdated DOS based utility for editing Keen 1-3 levels. It was never and probably will never be completed. [Thanks Andrew, way to pull a TUIT on us!] It has pitifuly few features, no mouse support, and doesn't take advantage of the massive advances in Keening technology that have occured since it was created.
That said; it is the most popular [and incredibly powerful] Keen 1-3 editor. It is simple and easy to use. Simply run Keenedit.exe [For some reason some people call this program Keen Wright, and there is much confusion.] You will be presented with a menu giving you eleven options. New Level [Create a new level] Open Level [Duh] Save Level [Will overwrite the last level you edited with the level you're editing now] Save Level AsLets you chose a level name] Level Overview [Incomplete and useless] Level Statistics [Just that] Change Tileset [and what Keen you're editing] Resume Editing [Guess] About The Editior [Incomplete, you'd think thats the first thing that would be done.] Help [Like Microsoft Tech support, absolutely useless.] and Quit. The more 'complex' options are explained below. Interestingly, you can edit the executable and change the menu text. [Its about 3/4 of the way through the file.]
Change Tileset: You can edit Keens 1-3 with this editor, and obviously you have to tell K.E which one you want. By default this is Keen1 [Marooned on Mars] but can be changed with this option.
Editing Keen: Here's where the editor is in a class of its own [the 'special needs' class!] After opening or creating a level, a blank level [with border!] is created. You can move around the level by using the arrow keys, and place a tile by pressing Space. To select a tile from the tileset, press 'T' While selecting a tile, you can press 'Z' 'X' or 'C' to select three other tiles. Pressing 'Z' 'X' or 'C' in the level will place these tiles without you having to go back to the tileset and select them. [This means you can simultaneously place four different tiles, great for patterend backgrounds.] Other commands are 'L'ine and 'R'ectangle, which will draw a line or rectangle of whatever tile you've selected, and 'F'ill [A dangerous command, it fills an area with tiles, but if the area is too big, then KE will crash.]
Sprites: A level just isn't fun without enemies and bridges and such. To place these sprites, press 'S' A sprite selection screen will appear, with little pictures of each sprite. Select one and place it by pressing 'A' You can remove sprites by pressing shift + A Notice the 'custom' option in the sprite screen; this will allow you to place sprites other than those shown [usually bridges, levels or teleporters] Press 'K' to place Keen.
And thats about it, KeenEdit is as simple as its creator. [To whom the Keen community owes a great debt.]
Interview: Commander Keen.
Many have tried to track him down, but none have succeded until now. Yes, this month our newst member, Mykolig Jazfahted managed to interview Commander Keen himself at his [Mykolig's] Hamilton residence. You can catch the first part of the interview here: http://www.freewebs.com/gannalev/keen3.wma
MJ: Okay, perhaps we should get it started. Um, you are William R. Blaze, is that correct?
WB: Yes, that is quite correct.
MJ: So, do you have anything to say to your fans?
WB: Well, I've really enjoyed your support, and y'know you've been with me over the years, through the good times and the bad, and *sniff* *cough* *sniff* *sad sounding gibberish* yeah, your support was great. *more sniffing and coughing* Sorry.
MJ: Okay, um, what do you think about Id software refusing to release Commander Keen 7?
WB: Well, quite frankly I've never really liked them that much and um, well they can get stuffed, really.
MJ: Do you think you're fame has affected you in any way?
WB: Um, well, not entirely, quite frankly, uh, no. Not really, not at all.
MJ: Did you have any troubble being a child prodigy? y'know, not many children build interstellar spacships at the age of eight years, didn't have any problems with that?
WB: Uh, no, not really. Um, yeah I suppose I adapted rather well to everything 'n' that, um, well, yeah.
MJ: Now, your arch-nemesis, Mortimer McMire, if he is listening in right now, or gets wind of this interview, uh, do you have anything to say to him?
WB: Yes I do indeed. I know you're out there, I know you're watching me, and I don't give a damn. Bring it on buddy, I'll kick you butt so hard you're grandchildren won't be able to sit down.
MJ: *whistles* Tough words there from Mr Blaze. Now um, what do you think about your father changing the family name, y'know to help him get along is showbiz. Um, what do you think about that?
WB: I quite frankly didn't approve of it, I think you should always keep your name, thats part of your herritige. and uh, such yeah.
MJ: Now um, Andrew Kepple, whoose a fan, as it were, of yours, has repeatedly paradoided your attempts, ah, your, um, exploits, and has become quite famous for it actually. We have him here, would you like to speak to him?
WB: Um, yeah alright then, bring him in then.
*"Andrew Kepple" enters*
"AK": Uuuh, Hi Duh.
WB: Hi there.
"AK": Hahaha... you Keen! Hahaha...funny! Heheheh
WB: Mmmm, okay then, you wanted to say something or something?
"AK": Haah, Keen good! Duuh, you say something!
WB: Um, alright then, um... what?
"AK": Uuuuh, you say these Shikadi are TOAST! Hahahahaha!
WB: Um, alright, These Shikadi are toast.
"AK": Hahaha! Good! Good! *much gibberish, dragged out*
MJ: Now, um, you're on an OE to NZ, how are you finding our country?
WB: Uh, its a nice place, bit different from home, but, uh, nice. Yeah.
MJ: Now, you've visited many planets, and seen some horrible things, have the affected you at all?
WB: Um, I cry myself to sleep evary night, and somethimes I cut myself to see me bleed.
MJ: Uh, all right then, Op, almost forgot, are you Commander Keen?
WB: You tell me, you're doing the interview.
MJ: Okay, have you ever used the name Billy Blaze?
WB: Um, not that I remember, no.
MJ: Well, um, I guess thats it, its all I can think of, want to grab a snack, we have some questions from your fans.
*interview ends*
News
4.1) Levellord caught!
Keener Levellord, was caught this month pirating music and software, and as a consequence, has had her acess to computers severly restricted. This terrible event means that now the Keen community has entered a second renaissance, and is now more active than ever.
4.2) DNF released!
FInally, after years of delay, it done! Andrew Kepple has completed the neverending project, and, if you like Andy's animations you can watch it here [Or smash your head against a wall, its pretty much the same thing.]
4.3) Id Software Hates Keen!
Speaking from their headquaters on top of Diablo volcano [In the pacific] Id Software spokeshenchman Yousef Bin Haad had the following to say: http://www.freewebs.com/gannalev/interview.wma Of course I was shocked and you can hear my official response: http://www.freewebs.com/gannalev/laugh2.wav
4.4) MultiMania begins Keen music editor
Keener Multimania has announced that he has created a Dos Keen 4-6 music editor and unfortunately is planning to convert it to windows. It exports Keen music and allows you to change the level music is played in. How anyone can stomach Keen music is beyond me, but you can check it out here: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm17.showMessage?topicID=1079.topic
4.5) Kangarus Gyrfalcon Suggests maybe making a possible game!
Keener KG is thinking about maybe making a Keen related game if enough people support and help him. Despite my efforts, it looks like he might. Discourage him here: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm17.showMessage?topicID=1078.topic
4.6) Odd language mod?
The Keen community may get an odd language mod. You can suggest an odd language here: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm17.showMessage?topicID=1072.topic Remember, if you can't understand it, then you can enjoy Keen even more!
4.7) Mortimer McMire mod
Genius314 has announced that he is making three mods featuring the one and only Gannalech. At least there's some sense in the Keen community. Support him here: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm17.showMessageRange?topicID=1067.topic&start=1&stop=20
4.8) Genius314 Starts ANOTHER mod!
Yep, 314 has begun a lego keen inspired mod. Why is anyone's guess, but then this whole community idolizes Keen, so logic doesn't apply here. http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm17.showMessage?topicID=1075.topic
4.9) Keen video.
Alex87 is creating a Keen video, such a pity that Keen will now be appearing in other media. You can check it out here: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm17.showMessage?topicID=1073.topic which is a pity.
4.10) Me and Keen
Creative Madman [he's half right] has created a two player game with which I've had much fun with, a little buggy, but very nice. Get it here: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm17.showMessageRange?topicID=1044.topic&start=1&stop=20
4.11 KeenRush stalls!
KeenRush has stalled on his new mod, but unfortunately it looks like it'll be released anyway. Read the dtails here: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumothercommanderkeenstuff.showMessageRange?topicID=1021.topic&start=1&stop=20
4.12) TMST ti make Keen movie?
Yes, the epitome of insanity TMST has decided to make a Keen MOVIE. featuring the entire Keen cast. I expect Mortimers role will make the movie a hit. http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumothercommanderkeenstuff.showMessage?topicID=1020.topic
4.13) Keen celebrates his 14th birthday!
Its been over 14 years since Keen1 was released on the 14th of december 1990 2:35pm revolutionizing the gaming industry.. Let us all mourn this anniversary of this disaster by observing five miniutes silence.
4.14) Keen is a... rabbit?
Keener Benovilo has sprung another mod on the Keen community. Joyfully, it is one that has nothing to do with keen! You can check out this wonderful mod here: http://www.keengrid.net/ckgalaxy/tgmm.php?way=one&id=39
4.15) Zap that Zot!
Sadly, Keener Ceclick has created a sequel to his Kidnapped Keen mod. So much for live and learn. Get it here: http://www.keengrid.net/ckgalaxy/tgmm.php?way=one&id=40
4.16) Keen is DEAD!
Ah, if only: http://p072.ezboard.com/fpubliccommanderkeenforumfrm18.showMessage?topicID=25.topic
4.17) Welcome Mykolig!
The Keen Community Snoozletter welcomes Mykolig Jazfahted as a contributor to this 'fine' publication. Mykolig is 17, has brown hair and eyes, and is avalible. :)
5.1) Fanfiction
Since no one bothered to send anything; here's chapter two of our last FF.
Chapter 2:
A rain of bullets thudded into it, but it hardly even flinched. Desperatly Altain searched for a weak spot, but no matter where they shot, there was no affect.
Whump!
A huge lump of masonry thudded into the platoon, killing half of them instantly. The creature turned, a green fireball eliminated the rest. Altain ran. THere were screams, horrible horrible screams as civilians fled the masaacre. But what was worse, so much worse, was when the screams stopped. He turned a corner... and saw it. It was the last thing he saw. Seconds later his head and body parted company.
"So uh Lindsey, why exactly are you here? I mean, its not everyday that the ruler of half a planet turns up in your bedroom."
Lindsey looked downcast. She edged toward Keens bed and sat down. She was quiet for a long, long time. "Keen, something bads happening back home. Something real bad. The Tiamat empire is being attacked, whole towns just destroyed... everyone... its terrible. I've never seen anything like it. We don't know what... it is. It... oh God its terrible."
And so Keen sat back and listened as the terrible tale unfolded.
6.1) Mortimer McMires' Mindbender.
I see nobody solved last months puzzle. But then again, this is the Keen community. Perhaps something simpler this month.
This number is infinite, and contains a pattern that allows you to write out the whole number. What is the 20th, 21st and 22nd digits of this number? 1.34526905381...
The recording purporting to be that of Id Software is a paradoy and was conducted by Mykolig Jazfahted. Andrew Durdin did not participate in the interview in our interview section, but damn it, thats what he would've said had he been there.
