Beware!  There are tons of new updates!  Hurry, Run and Hide before you find them!

I'm sorry, but you see, you shouldn't be here.  For this site contains things only seen in your worst nightmares and whoever directed you to this site is ether completly insane or Count Olaf, which, in that case, they would be both.  See, only a crazy person would send you to such a site.

Now, I'm sure you were expecting to see something great and probably have a few laughs, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Unless, of course, you'd like to stay.

If you have just arrived at this site, then it is not too late to leave. Like the miserable books, there is nothing to be found in these pages but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose another site. Within these pages, you will encounter more horrible things that you ever imagined. I have sworn to write down these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to read something else instead, you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe. Don't say I didn't warn you.