OAJJ’S LAST CAMP (  PHOTOS ) 2 pages

  With no kids in tow for the weekend it was unanimously decided by the cant start wont start scooter clubs new number one that we should all travel down together. By all I mean Munchkin, T aka Eileen, dobby and myself. They arrived at the duly allotted time of 10.15am and we were all packed sardinesque into the Vecbretta for what must be the most awkward of destinations to get to when setting off from the centre of the universe aka Nottingham. It was a pretty uneventful journey to Mersea Island apart from the pit stop when we all partook in the all you can eat café for just six English pounds and 99 English pence. One hour later we finally emerged girthed to the max and if there wasn’t much room in the vecbretta when we got out there was definitely much less when we got back in. The last half of the journey was spent constantly answering text messages asking how far off we were as the rally couldn’t start without us (damn right too I say).

  We arrived at the site about 4.00pm to find the ii village well and truly erected. The amazing Bign (does anyone ever see this man arrive or leave?) was first to arrive at 9.10am and located a spot not too far from where the festivities were to take place and forewarned everyone were the village was. Having been introduced to Shh…Davey & the m&m’s I then preceded to watch Eileen & Munchkin set up our igloo for the weekend whilst sportingly talking to Mr Bean & Angelica. (It would have been rude not to!!). Dms (retirement isn’t for everybody), Dunny, Sam, Dean, aka posh & becks, Joy, Billy, Caroline, Alia and Kyla were all on parade when the Alliance girl’s aka Taxi, Mini (where’s your mum) and Spockii came to say hello. It was bitterly cold standing around the village so when the number one suggested we go to the doo we all agreed (sensible decision). There were two rooms to choose from with the first playing a mixture of Northern, Ska and Reggie “which was going down well judging by the packed dance floor” and a more diverse room catering for the person who likes a mixture of everything. The marquee remained shut for the Friday as there were no bands playing so anybody not wanting to go into the doo’s mingled around the court yard catching up with friends being introduced to new ones and generally having a time. The caterers were doing a roaring trade with the Chinese far outstripping all the traditional rally food vans. So much so that it actually ran out by Saturday tea time and had to shut up shop. The evening drew to a close and what few of us that were left sauntered back to our igloos to shiver our bits off.

The cockerel crowed at 7am and it was off with the icicles and on with the kettle as the village slowly burst into some semblance of life. The first visitor of the day was 666 complete with liquid supplies on is way back to the doo where he’d been partying all night. Most people got up ok with the exception of Mr Bean who still looked extremely drunk. After copious amounts of caffeine it was time for an Eileen and Munchkin rally special breakfast, which went down well with all participants. Having had a week off from cooking duty I obliged by doing the washing up and once finished I was asked to look at Kyla’s scoot. A quick glance at the wobbly back wheel revealed a collapsed bearing. After much deliberation it was decided that the only cure was a very nice man, but wait for it “failure to renew membership results in no nice man” ooooops what a to do. Plan B lets get a bearing and fix it? Ooooops can’t do that either its still under warranty. Which brings us to plan C, ring brother and go home early. Ok, it’s a good plan but a bit of a downer as Kyla wanted to stay for the Saturday night. We needed a plan D and were rewarded for our efforts when Bobster the sheppy hammer offered to take her home on the Sunday in his car. Hurray for plan D. we were then joined in our village by H & Beeb and after a good old natter a walk round the stalls was called for whilst waiting for the custom show to start which featured some extremely good scoots that were of a very high standard. I don’t know who won what coz I dint hang around but in this case it must have been very hard to decide and all entrants need congratulating.

  Arriving back at the village I walked into a full scale Louie alert. He decided to do an impression of Bign (now you see me now you don’t) but with the sea only a couple of hundred yards away it was no laughing matter. I quickly returned to Boy Scout mode and organised a search party sending people off in different directions and also alerting the security staff. 10 minutes later but what must have seemed like a lifetime to Ann and Dean he was found on the adventure playground……phew. Angel and Watford Rob arrived and set up camp on the outskirts of the village as did Steve & Jackie from CSWSSC. As the days football results started to flow in the party spirit was soon rekindled with Dunny taking the brunt of it as his team lost and nobody else’s did (even mine which makes a change). To console himself Wills decided that he and Dunny should let Vespa pierce their eyebrows…nice one Dunny but you do realise that its gonna be a long hard season don’t you and self harm to relieve pain isn’t the way forward m8. We sat around enjoying the sunshine until it was time to go to the doo. It was pretty much the same as Friday night with the exception of two bands playing in the marquee which in my opinion where pretty crap but each to his own. The doo’s were heaving all night long chucking out all the rally favourites but as usual the venues were too hot so I stayed in the courtyard talking with Kyla, gobble, Henry, Smoke and oodles of others whilst the rest of the clan mingled about in various places. 666 kept us all entertained with his sponsored walk. How many times can one man walk around the courtyard in a night (answers on a postcard please)? It was reported that Mr bean had spotted the Germans wrecking on the dance floor and seized the opportunity to punch them without any reprisals (a skinheads brain never ceases to amaze me pmsl). The amazing Bign continued to play now you see me now you don’t and we had a visit from Eileen who needed some air after dancing the night away with Taxi. Jenny and Ady gave us their news of their pending marriage. Dms, Dunny, Angel, Posh & Becks all graced us with their presence from time to time whilst 666 continued to lap the courtyard.  As 2 pm arrived people started retiring to their igloos including Kyla & smoke. Taxi came outside and joined me for 2.00am refreshments (which was very nice) “no I wasn’t on drugs or dreaming it really was Taxi….honest” and 666 continued to pound the courtyard.  Mr bean, Angelica, joy, and Andy from the Gatecrashers kept me company and we were soon to be joined by the new CSWSSC no 1 as we dined at the wee hour of 3am. Paul & Cari from the Hornets joined us just as 666 was taking a much need rest. Cari then burst into thespian mode and gave him a rendition of her cockney accent based on Eastenders characters. Not impressed she moved on to Coronation Street then the Bill. The look on Ian’s face told a thousand words as each character sounded exactly the same. Myself, Eileen and Paul were in hysterics (think you had to be there). Still not impressed 666 continued on his merry courtyard waltz and we went back into the doo. Eileen retired without telling me so at 3.30 am I also retired to our igloo.

  Another absolutely freezing night but at least I managed to get a little sleep before finally conceding to the cold and getting up at 6.30. If it wasn’t enough having coffee with Taxi at 2am, seeing Munchkin put the kettle on at 6.30am on a rally really had me scratching my head. WOW two phenomenons in 4 and a half hours. The amazing Bign had decamped and left some 20 minutes before we arose so we wouldn’t spot him leaving. After all (“a magician never reveals his secrets”). Kyla was next to leave as Bobster wanted to be gone by 7.00, which left the rest of us to steadily head off to our own little worlds at our leisure. The now obligatory pit stop at the all you can eat café was frequented which rounded off what can only be described (despite the cold nights) as a truly fantastic rally. Due to health reasons this was my last camping rally and in a way imp glad it was, coz I couldn’t have asked to be in better company all weekend and I will keep its fond memories forever. B&B’s, Chalets, Hotels and Caravans is the way forward for me and with plenty of rallies containing all four I hope to be around for a long time to come. 

 OAJJ   ii to the ii