Super Mario Bros 
Release: 1993
Introduction:
Wow...the infamous Super Mario Brothers movie! Man, do I remember this movie very well...but not for good reason! Anyways, back in the early 90's a deal was struck between Nintendo and the now defunct film distrubitor, Hollywood Pictures, to make a movie based on the smash hit video game series (and my favorite series of all time), Super Mario Brothers. The final result would leead to the first video game movie...but also the first, if not one of the biggest, video game movie flops of all time and also a smack in the face that is the Super Mario Bros franchise! You won't see any fire flowers, starmen, tanooki suits, or feathers in this movie...by the way. So here goes the review (if you want to call it that)...
Another big thanks to badmovies.org for helping with the pictures!
Reviewed By: Legend
The movie starts off with the actual SMB theme from the game, having you think that this film will be one hell of a ride and stay true to the games. But are you ever wrong! Instead, an annoying Brooklyn-style accent begins to narrate the beginning about how millions of years ago, dinosaurs, like mammals, ruled the earth...until a retarded meteor crashed into the earth, creating to seperate demensions. Basically, he's saying that the dinos live just like us, but in an alternate universe. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PLOT IS THAT?! Anyways, after that retarded scene is over, an even more retarded scene happens when Daisy's mother, who is played by the exact same actress who plays Daisy by the way (Samantha Mathis. Very creative there Hollywood -_-), drops her off in front of a church where the nuns will discover her. She then runs off and runs into a humanoid Koopa (Bowser. Played by the legendary Dennis Hopper) underground and ends up killing herself in the most gayest way possible. Daisy then hatches from the egg and the story begins.
Now for the bashing! First off, in case you're wondering who those two are in that picture, that's Iggy and Spike! Now keep in mind that Iggy is one of Koopa's kids in the games, but in the movie, he's his cousin. What the hell ever. Spike is also Koopa's cousin whereas in the games, he's just simply an enemy named Spike. They aere both very stupid in the movie and somehow keep f****** up to kidnap Daisy until they finally get lucky and do. Now if that isn't sounding like a cheap ripoff of The Three Stooges, then you are the one who is on drugs! Speaking of her getting kidnapped, Mario and Luigi actually walk on a cliff that no one would even dare to walk on in the sewer thinking she's there somewhere...and then jump through a solid wall! I don't make this stuff up people!
Looking at this gay scene, I can pretty much assume that Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo were wishing that those lasers were real and just put them out of their misery. First of all, they totally screwed up the brothers' personalities! Luigi isn't the cautious type anymore...instead he's just some complete dumbass who never thinks (jumping through solid walls anyone?) and is obsessed with a girl he JUST met earlier that day...along with fungus and bob-ombs. Mario is just a straight pussy in this film as opposed to being the very brave and heroic hero he is in the games. Who ever knew that Mario would be the one talking Luigi out of trouble -_-. Also, it states in the movie that Luigi is pretty much nothing but a college kid and that Mario was the one that raised him...pretty much throwing out the fact that they are actually faternal twin brothers in the games! They also wear some pretty retarded outfits before they get their actual video game outfits (somewhat). Since when did Luigi where a hoodie with his hat backwards?! Ugh!
This is Bowser (Koopa) from the games. Dennis Hopper plays him. Nuff said because I'll let you do that bashing on this one. Just look at that! Also, Koopa is obsessed with de-evoluting people in his "Devo Chamber" and getting the meteor piece that was around Daisy's neck just to emerge it with the rest of the meteor so both worlds can unite and he can be ruler. That just has gay written all over it! Whoever wrote this crap should be shot (actually, one of the writers for this film did die, but that's a different story)! Anyways, I dare you to look for Toad in the movie...you won't believe your eyes! And I'm sure MattDDR was pissed when he saw this part of the film, but Yoshi, the cute and adorbale dinosaur from the games, is a FREAKIN raptor who is Koopa's pet in the movie!! But apparently, he knows his owner's sinister ways and becomes a loving friend of Daisy while she's imprisoned. Whatever.
These are the goombas from the games. Yes, I'm telling the truth! They're not the little mushroom things that the Mario Bros stomp on in the games. Instead, they're big, buff, tall humans who were de-eveolutinized by Koopa. Talk about retarded. And actually, Mario and Luigi are scared of them and run from them throughout the move! Yes, I'm serious! If it doesn't get any worse, one scene has the brothers stuck in a goomba infested elevator and Luigi...get this...actually manages to get them to dance without them ever getting caught! Words can't just describe on how pointless, unrealistic, and retarded that scene was! Moving on...
(Insert gayness remark)
Yes this is an actual scene. Mario and Luigi finally get their outfits from the games (somewhat. At least they got the colors right) towards the end of the movie. If you're wondering what those big things are on their feet...they're called "stompers" and give the bros their jumping ability. Yeah, don't worry about their natural jumping ability from the games, they have the stompers that'll make up for it *rolls eyes*. Anyways, later on at the end of the movie, the bros defeat Koopa with their Super Nintendo Superscopes...err...I mean de-evolution guns and they become heroes to Dinohattan (yes Dinohattan). So then they leave hoping Daisy will come back with them...but she doesn't because she wants to get to know her father better (who was the fungus throughout the movie). So basically, Luigi busted his ass to save her but doesn't get her in the end. The writers did a great job there huh? Later on (two weeks in the movie), Daisy comes back from nowhere and tells the brothers that things aren't quite normal yet back in her kingdom...which sets up for a sequel that never came out (thank God). A true insult to the Mario Bros franchise (and more importantly, Luigi) and Nintendo indeed.
The action scenes are cheesy, horrible acting is in it, and a horrible plot doesn't help this POS of a movie. John Leguizamo has gone on record quite a few times about how he regrets doing the movie and would never do a sequel...if there ever was one. He's even stated that the cast would actually play drinking games so the time would fly by to hurry and finish filming on what he called a "boring movie".
Final verdict: F
Release: 1993
Introduction:
Wow...the infamous Super Mario Brothers movie! Man, do I remember this movie very well...but not for good reason! Anyways, back in the early 90's a deal was struck between Nintendo and the now defunct film distrubitor, Hollywood Pictures, to make a movie based on the smash hit video game series (and my favorite series of all time), Super Mario Brothers. The final result would leead to the first video game movie...but also the first, if not one of the biggest, video game movie flops of all time and also a smack in the face that is the Super Mario Bros franchise! You won't see any fire flowers, starmen, tanooki suits, or feathers in this movie...by the way. So here goes the review (if you want to call it that)...
Another big thanks to badmovies.org for helping with the pictures!
Reviewed By: Legend
The movie starts off with the actual SMB theme from the game, having you think that this film will be one hell of a ride and stay true to the games. But are you ever wrong! Instead, an annoying Brooklyn-style accent begins to narrate the beginning about how millions of years ago, dinosaurs, like mammals, ruled the earth...until a retarded meteor crashed into the earth, creating to seperate demensions. Basically, he's saying that the dinos live just like us, but in an alternate universe. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PLOT IS THAT?! Anyways, after that retarded scene is over, an even more retarded scene happens when Daisy's mother, who is played by the exact same actress who plays Daisy by the way (Samantha Mathis. Very creative there Hollywood -_-), drops her off in front of a church where the nuns will discover her. She then runs off and runs into a humanoid Koopa (Bowser. Played by the legendary Dennis Hopper) underground and ends up killing herself in the most gayest way possible. Daisy then hatches from the egg and the story begins.
Now for the bashing! First off, in case you're wondering who those two are in that picture, that's Iggy and Spike! Now keep in mind that Iggy is one of Koopa's kids in the games, but in the movie, he's his cousin. What the hell ever. Spike is also Koopa's cousin whereas in the games, he's just simply an enemy named Spike. They aere both very stupid in the movie and somehow keep f****** up to kidnap Daisy until they finally get lucky and do. Now if that isn't sounding like a cheap ripoff of The Three Stooges, then you are the one who is on drugs! Speaking of her getting kidnapped, Mario and Luigi actually walk on a cliff that no one would even dare to walk on in the sewer thinking she's there somewhere...and then jump through a solid wall! I don't make this stuff up people!
Looking at this gay scene, I can pretty much assume that Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo were wishing that those lasers were real and just put them out of their misery. First of all, they totally screwed up the brothers' personalities! Luigi isn't the cautious type anymore...instead he's just some complete dumbass who never thinks (jumping through solid walls anyone?) and is obsessed with a girl he JUST met earlier that day...along with fungus and bob-ombs. Mario is just a straight pussy in this film as opposed to being the very brave and heroic hero he is in the games. Who ever knew that Mario would be the one talking Luigi out of trouble -_-. Also, it states in the movie that Luigi is pretty much nothing but a college kid and that Mario was the one that raised him...pretty much throwing out the fact that they are actually faternal twin brothers in the games! They also wear some pretty retarded outfits before they get their actual video game outfits (somewhat). Since when did Luigi where a hoodie with his hat backwards?! Ugh!
This is Bowser (Koopa) from the games. Dennis Hopper plays him. Nuff said because I'll let you do that bashing on this one. Just look at that! Also, Koopa is obsessed with de-evoluting people in his "Devo Chamber" and getting the meteor piece that was around Daisy's neck just to emerge it with the rest of the meteor so both worlds can unite and he can be ruler. That just has gay written all over it! Whoever wrote this crap should be shot (actually, one of the writers for this film did die, but that's a different story)! Anyways, I dare you to look for Toad in the movie...you won't believe your eyes! And I'm sure MattDDR was pissed when he saw this part of the film, but Yoshi, the cute and adorbale dinosaur from the games, is a FREAKIN raptor who is Koopa's pet in the movie!! But apparently, he knows his owner's sinister ways and becomes a loving friend of Daisy while she's imprisoned. Whatever.
These are the goombas from the games. Yes, I'm telling the truth! They're not the little mushroom things that the Mario Bros stomp on in the games. Instead, they're big, buff, tall humans who were de-eveolutinized by Koopa. Talk about retarded. And actually, Mario and Luigi are scared of them and run from them throughout the move! Yes, I'm serious! If it doesn't get any worse, one scene has the brothers stuck in a goomba infested elevator and Luigi...get this...actually manages to get them to dance without them ever getting caught! Words can't just describe on how pointless, unrealistic, and retarded that scene was! Moving on...
(Insert gayness remark)
Yes this is an actual scene. Mario and Luigi finally get their outfits from the games (somewhat. At least they got the colors right) towards the end of the movie. If you're wondering what those big things are on their feet...they're called "stompers" and give the bros their jumping ability. Yeah, don't worry about their natural jumping ability from the games, they have the stompers that'll make up for it *rolls eyes*. Anyways, later on at the end of the movie, the bros defeat Koopa with their Super Nintendo Superscopes...err...I mean de-evolution guns and they become heroes to Dinohattan (yes Dinohattan). So then they leave hoping Daisy will come back with them...but she doesn't because she wants to get to know her father better (who was the fungus throughout the movie). So basically, Luigi busted his ass to save her but doesn't get her in the end. The writers did a great job there huh? Later on (two weeks in the movie), Daisy comes back from nowhere and tells the brothers that things aren't quite normal yet back in her kingdom...which sets up for a sequel that never came out (thank God). A true insult to the Mario Bros franchise (and more importantly, Luigi) and Nintendo indeed.
The action scenes are cheesy, horrible acting is in it, and a horrible plot doesn't help this POS of a movie. John Leguizamo has gone on record quite a few times about how he regrets doing the movie and would never do a sequel...if there ever was one. He's even stated that the cast would actually play drinking games so the time would fly by to hurry and finish filming on what he called a "boring movie".
Final verdict: F
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