Luigi Mario

Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Video Game Adventure

Developer: LJN

System: NES

Genre: Adventure....I guess

Introduction:

BTW, you know the title that's up there? That's the ACTUAL name of the game...

N-E-Way, I remember seeing this movie, and it made me HATE Keanu Reeves, and THIS piece of moronic crap that LJN had the absolute nerve to call a game didn't do him much more justice. But enough about my personal scraps with "KEANU" for now. This game came out in 1990, shortly after the movie(which was bad enough) came out. I don't exactly know what kind of turn LJN was going for, but it obviously took a wrong one. Anyway, the plot is like this: Important historical figures have been mysteriously placed in the wrong times. Bill and Ted must go through the circuts of time to find them and put them back in the right time. If this ISN'T done, their band, known as "Wild Stalyns" will never have a major launch in their career.....like anyone cares in the first place.....but anyway, to the review.

Reviewed by: MattDDR

Graphics: C+  

Ok, so I admit, the graphics weren't THAT bad, but they weren't that good either. Everything moved ok, and the little stillshots of Bill, Ted, and even Rufus(Played by comedy legend, George Carlin) looked kinda cool. It didn't really move that good, though, at least not to me. But the graphics are tolerable. Just.....tolerable. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sound: C-  

The sound could've been a whole lot better. A WHOLE lot better. The music in the beginning of the game was just annoying. But SOME of the music is very nice, especially when you actually figure out how to get through the friggin' circuts of time in that oversized phone booth that they used as a time machine(Can we say: "GAY!?"). What I DON'T like about the music the most is that the music only lasts for so long, and then, it ends. So you're pretty much playing the game in silence for a long, LONG time. The sound effects were just gay. How is it that when you fall to the ground and hurt yourself, it sounds like a bomb going off? STUUUPID! I just didn't like it. The only reason it even gets a C- is because of that cool little track you hear when you get through the first time circuts. That's it.

Control: B  

Well.....at least the control will be easy, since it's only two buttons. A jumps and B throws out whatever you have equipped at the time. but it's kinda hard to walk where you want to in the beginning. That, and sometimes it'll be hard to jump. SINCE WHEN IS IT HARD TO JUMP IN A FRIGGIN' NES CART!?!?!?!? But at least you know what does what now. As for the rest, you're pretty much on your own...

Gameplay: F  

My only regret for this is that I couldn't give it an F-.

This. Game. Sucks! And I'll say it over and over again until I get my point across. Basically, you walk around Jumping, talking to people for clues, avoiding angry peasents that try to lock you up in the dungeon, and.....pretty much getting nowhere...Here's a peice of advice, should you make the mistake of giving this game a try. DON'T get near the peasents that hold there arms out. You'll get locked up in the dungeon. Also, if you get locked in the dungeon too many times, Game Over. Yep. You have skeleton keys to get you out of jail, and you'll want to make sure you don't run out. Another thing to look out for: people who just walk. DON'T run into them either. Why? Because if you run into one, they'll take a coin from you, and you NEED those coins to get through the circuts of time since, get this crap, the time machine is a PAY PHONE! C'mon, man!!!!!!! Oh, BTW, if you run into a walking peasent WITHOUT a coin, you'll get locked up in the friggin' dungeon. And...well.....you already know what happens when you run out of keys, right? So, all you need to know is this: ONLY walk into people who are perfectly still. Not only may you get some advice, but Bill might've left you something........retarded, I know.

You can also walk into SOME places and ask the people that dwell there if they've seen your target person. A changes what you say to the person, and B actually says it. WHY do they do this? Well, if you ask the wrong thing, guess what might happen to you.....? That's right.....DUNGEON! And, well, more times in dungeon....means.....well.....you get the point. Same stupid chain reaction over and over again. Also, some of the grassy area you CAN'T walk into. And if you jump into them, you fall on your ass. THAT'S right. YOU FRIGGIN' FALL DOWN. That, and you won't be able to move until you jump outta there. I suggest NOT aiming for more grass once you jump out. It just ain't pretty...Ted will have a few other things, beside skeleton keys and coins, to help him out. Like pudding cans. Use these to get the abgry villagers OFF of your back. The second if the firecracker. You can scare them off with this item. The third is a(and this is just plain gayer than gay.....).......highly dangerous textbooks. Yep. You heard me right. Once thrown, this will clear the area of villagers, even the ones that just stand still waiting to help you. You basically get it. Horri-freakin'-ble.

Simply Put: F                                            

This is a prime example as to why some movies/games should've NEVER been made. Not only did the movie suck, but they just HAD to make an equally crappy game to demonstrate this fact. I had always wondered in the past why people said that games based off of movies really suck. THANK GOD I grew up and realized just HOW horrible this really was. I know this is only from an opinionated standpoint, but if you DON'T agree with me on this, you are obviously one of two things: A HUGE Keanu Reeves fan, or just a brain-dead, '90's prone, surfer/boarder/grunge dipdong. Do your IQ pointsa MASSIVE favor and stay as far the hell away from this pile af flem as possible....