Tonight Robi and I met my sister Izzy and her boyfriend Randy downtown for dinner.  Randy has had a pretty rough year.  After falling in love with my sister on a Bio-Botany Fellowship in the Azahora Desert, Randy has been arrested, accused of espionage, escaped, crawled across 2000 miles of desert, and was reunited with my sister  for only a few days before the evil government agency from his  country, the NST,  found him hiding out at our Greek House HOHOHO and took him back to Azahora.   We all feared the worst for Randy, and then completely unexpectedly, he arrived at my  wedding.  No one has had a chance to talk to Izzy and Randy about what happened and find  out if he's here for good.  As soon as Robi and I got home from our honeymoon,  I called up my beloved sister and asked if she and Randy could meet us for dinner. I can't begin to imagine what Randy has been through, and how he managed to show up just in time for my wedding, and completely unharmed at that.

We sat down for dinner, and it wasn't hard to cut straight to the chase.  "WHAT HAPPENED??? How did the NST find you?  Where did they take you? And how did you make it back to Legacy Land?  And are you here for good?" 

Well, it is a long story, Randy began. If you're going to hear the whole thing I guess  I better start talking now.

When the NST agents took me from HOHOHO, they took me back to Azahora, as I expected they would.  The NST believed that I was conspiring with Isadora to obtain valuable Bio Weaponry secrets from the Azahoran Government.  I had managed to smuggle a hard drive out
of Azahora when I escaped the first time, and when Izzy and I studied the data, we realized that Professor Cole had been accessing the government data bases under Izzy's student account making it look like she was the one spying.  Because I was close to Izzy, I was accused of conspiring with her.  When the NST took me from HOHOHO, I didn't have the hard drive, and I had no idea how I would convince my father, who is the Governor of Azahora, that neither Izzy nor I had anything to do with the espionage.

I was held for three days in Azahoran Prison before I was allowed to see my father.  It was then that I was taken to Azahora Palace to see him.

Ok, let me get this straight.  Your father is the ruler of Azahora, but he's called the Governor?

Yeah, and I'm called the Prince, I was next in line to rule the country.  Azahora is an unusual place, and our government is no exception.

Didn't your father know you were taken prisoner?  I'm mean, you're the Prince. Wouldn't he be able to stop the NST from arresting you?  They tortured you last time.  I can't imagine your father would let something like that happen.

I'll explain all that.  Nothing could have ever prepared me for what happened.  Here  I was, being lead into my own palace, as a prisoner, and at gunpoint to be tried by my father for a crime I didn't commit.  You see,  I wasn't being taken to see him as a visitor, I was taken for sentencing for the  crimes I was accused of.

I was taken into the Governor's Chambers and when I saw my father, I was beyond shocked, but slowly it all began to make sense to me, why everything was happening, and where it all began.

According to the laws of Azahora, I am supposed to take control of the country on my  25th birthday, which is next year.  It's been that way for generations, and it's always been an accepted fact that this is what would happen.  It's not that I wanted to do it or didn't want to do it.  That's just my family and how my country's government has operated for more than 10 generations.

My father was almost unrecognizable to me.  I've spent the last 6 years away at a finishing school to prepare me for leadership, and then went to University to study Bio Botany so that I could better focus on Azahora's natural resources and how to best utilize them for Azahora. My father and I have always looked very similar, but when I saw him I knew something was horribly wrong.  his skin was ghostly white, not even human, and he had tattoed his face with an ancient Azahoran Tribal symbols.   This was not my father.

This is going to sound strange, but what comes next is even stranger, so I might as well tell you everything.  When I was very young, a space ship crashed behind our house, the palace.  It actually happens quite often in Azahora.  Nearly all of our country is open desert, and our only city is Azahora City.  There are a few remote outposts, but that's not important. I know what you're going to ask next, and no, there weren't any little  green space men aboard the ship, it appeared to be empty, at least no life form was ever found. My father did have a sample of the fuel collected though, because researching alternate fuel sources is a big part of the survival of Azahora. 

I'm not entirely sure that it was an accident that some of the alien fuel got mixed with some cow based fertilizer in my father's lab.  He never said how it happened, and I don't think it mattered to him, because when something started to grow, he was beyond thrilled.

And his project flourished.

He named it "Canero Bovis" although the name was later changed to Laganaphyllis Simnovorii.  It was his pet project, and extremely top secret for years, he never let anyone into his laboratory.  I often overheard him telling my mother "We can place them at intervals along the border, and as they spread, Azahora will have a permanent perimiter of protection."   I always assumed that "them" was referring to the NRA, The National Repulic Alliance, our military forces.  But now I realize he must have been talking about his Canero Bovis, planning to use them as a natural defense against invaders.   His obession with the plants grew, and over the years my mother and I saw less and less of him.

I never saw it for myself, but I believe he built some sort of shrine to one of his canero bovis creatures on the roof of the palace.  No one was allowed  on the roof of the palace.

And the unlucky guard who did go up there, didn't ever come back.

I have no way to prove this, and it is only because I studied the canero bovis, or Laganaphyllis Simnovorii, at the Bio Botany fellowship, that I think my father began to drink the nectar produced by this creature.

The letters I would receive from my mother became more and more alarmed in regards to my father.  He began to spend most of his time on the roof, and he began to change not only his personality, but his body began to transform as well.  It was as if some evil force was taking over his body.

The man I stood before I did not recognize.  Everything I knew about my father was gone from this man, and it was obvious he had no recognition of me as his son.  He knew who I was, but it made no difference to him.  My mother, who had aged considerably, cried softly as my father yelled "You are a traitor to your country!  You are a traitor to your family!  And for these crimes you will be punished!"

I fell to my knees, "Father, I would never betray Azahora!  I would never betray you!  I have the evidence.  I know who broke into the Bio Weaponry Databases.  It wasn't the girl, it was the professor, Professor Cole.  He's the spy.  I have the evidence, I have all of it, I can prove it to you.   It's in Legacy Land, with Isadora, the house they found me at.  It's all there.  If you get it, I can show you who the true criminal is!"

My father spoke in a voice I did not recognize.  "You have betrayed your country because you intend to destroy it.  You are planning to destroy all that this family has created for you.  All that I have created for you.  I do not believe your lies.  I do not believe in these spies.  There are no spies, this girl is only your shield, and this Professor a puppet.  I will send the NST for this hard drive, and after killing everyone in the house, if they find it, they will bring it to me.  The only spy is my son, the traitor, who betrayed his own country.  You want to take my power, and I will not let you.  I will not step down from this throne and let a traitor destroy this country.  You must pay for the crimes you have committed against Azahora.  In ten day's time you will shed your blood and give your life in repayment for the crimes committed against the people of Azahora.

The most painful part of it all was the look on my mother's face.  Not only had she lost her husband to some evil posession, but he was going to execute their only son.   I didn't mourn for my life, but I do for hers.  She has lost everything, and is the prisoner of my father.

After that, I was taken to the dungeon to await the execution.

Ok, I just want to make sure I have this right.  Your father is an evil overlord, infected by the magical powers of a mutant alien cow plant, and because he's not in his right mind, he accuses you of espionage, says he's going to kill all of us, and sentences you to death?

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

And I thought our family was dysfunctional...
So what happened next?  Obviously none of us are dead, and you're back here.  Something must have happened.  Please tell me they're not still coming to get us....

No, I don't think so...

So what happened?  How did you get out?  How did you get back here?

Well, that's the part of the story that I didn't learn until I was on my way back here.  I was actually rescued.

Really?  This is like a movie!  Who rescued you?  How did you get out???

Well.  A few days after I'd been placed into the dungeon, two girls from Legacy Land actually bumped into each other in front of the palace.  Believe it or not, they told me they're contestants on Burke's Reality Show, "The Burke Life"

You've got to be kidding.  What were they doing in Azahora?

Well, I wasn't there, but I think it went something like this.

CeeCee:  Oh my gosh, KiKi Steeletto, what are YOU doing in Azahora?

KiKi:  I'm here for the IBFDE

CeeCee:  Oh, the International Banana Fashion Design Expo?

KiKi:  Yeah, how'd you know?   What are you doing here?

CeeCee:  Paperclip Convention.

KiKi:  That's right.  I saw the billboard with the bear trap.

CeeCee:  Paper Clip Sculpture....

KiKi:  Right.

KiKi:  Look where we are, this is the Azahora Palace.  Did you hear about Randy on the news???

CeeCee:  Well, I heard something about them executing a traitor, but I didn't realize who it was.  It's not Isadora's Randy is it?

KiKi:  It is, it's the same guy.  I saw him on "The Heiress"  His picture was in the paper.  They're going to execute him at the end of the week.

CeeCee:  That's horrible.  We have to do something!

KiKi:  I think I might have an idea!  Come with me!

TO BE CONTINUED.....