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Gen 6 The College Years

Well, Isadora, Plato and Caliopie are off to school.  They couldn't move into Ho-Ho-Ho fast enough.  They used their scholarship money to do some remodeling of my old Frat house.  Those kids have their mom's decorator touch and I hardly recognize the old place.  They tell me it's the most popular Greek House on Campus - (of course it always was...)  Kaylynn and I have found it a full time job just to keep up with these three and their college escapades - most of which we don't know about I'm sure, so I can only tell you what they tell their old dad.

 

They've even started a band, which always draws a big crowd.  Caliopie hated piano lessons when she was little, but she tells me she's glad she stuck with  it now.  Kids on campus call the band "Izzy and the Twins" but the kids tell me they're hoping to come up with another name.
 
The kids are all doing great in their studies.  Isadora is some kind of Science major and she's dating the school mascot, some Llama character named Richard (why can't she just call him Rich?)  Plato is an art major this week - but he changes his mind a lot, he comes home a lot to visit his highschool girlfriednd Kissimmee, he wants her to come to school with him when he graduates, but she's not sure her parents can afford college.  Caliopie, my little drama queen, is ofcourse a drama major, she has a different boyfriend every week, but nothing serious. 
 
Isadora just got finished spending her Junior year abroad studying dirt in the desert - some kind of Botany project on the other side of the world.  She didn't have a phone access over there, but she was pretty good about sending letters.  She knows her mom worries with her so far from home.  I kept all the letters.  You wouldn't want to see them would you? 
 

 Dear Mom and Dad,
I can't believe I'm on the other side of the world.  I've never been so far from home or imagined I would ever been in the Azahora Desert.  Right now I'm staying at the University's satellite campus in Azahora City, there are students from all different countries who come here for international study fellowships.  In a few days I will travel to the Bio-Botany outpost to begin my research project.  I'm so nervous and I miss everyone so much.  I miss Richard so much I don’t' know how I will get through this year without him.  Tell Plat and Cali I miss them too and all the fun we have at the house.  I'll write again when I get to the site.
Love,
Izzy  (Isadora)
 
Dear Mom and Dad,
This is home for the next year, the Bio-Botany Outpost in the Azahora Desert.  Eight students from all over the world will share this house and will do joint research on a project that will be published in all the scientific journals.  It's a big honor to be chosen for this project.  Last year's class created a cure for the flu.  I wonder what we will be working on this year.  Well, I guess I better not keep myself locked in my room.  I'm going to go try to make some friends.  - Izzy
 
 

Dear Mom and Dad,
We are literally in Nowheresville, just desert and sky as far as the eye can see.  Today we learned about our research project.  We will be studying the Laganaphyllis Simnovorii;  a relatively new species of plant in the Azahora desert and very little is known about it.  We will be collecting DNA samples and analyzing it's genetic makeup.  We will experiment with crossbreeding with other desert plant life and hopefully make some really useful discoveries related to the nectar it produces on only one day out of the year.  Our supervising Professor has predicted that the Laganaphyllis will produce it's nectar somewhere in the middle of our term so we will spend the first half of our term analyzing leaf, stem and root samples and the second half will be spent analyzing the nectar.  So far none of us know what to make of this thing - it looks part animal, part plant, and has only recently been discovered in the Azahora Desert.
 
I have made one really good friend.  His name is Randy, he is from Azahora, his father is actually the Governor of Azahora City.  Dad, I know what you're going to say about his hair, and Mom, I know you're going to hate it.  But Randy explained to me that growing up in the desert has taught him that it's a much cooler way to wear your hair - when he needs to he can just comb it down to look like a regular haircut - but his head stays cooler with it standing straight up.  It's an Azahorian thing, apparently.  Randy is the only native Azahorian here, the rest of us are from all over.  But he's been super helpful in teaching me about desert plant life and how to adapt to the climate here.  It's funny.  The only thing Richard ever taught me was how to drink out of a keg while standing on my head.  Last week the Azahorian Llama mascot came out to pay us a visit - when I saw him I was so excicted because I thought it was Richard - when I realized it wasn't I spent the rest of the afternoon crying in the greenhouse.  I know he promised to wait for me, and that a year wouldn't change anything but I can't imagine that I even cross his mind while he's Toga Party hopping every  night.  He did write me one letter but it was all about the homecoming game and the cheerleader who broke her collar bone when she fell off his shoulders.
 
What Randy said about keeping your head cool made a lot of sense - and already I'm tired of this desert heat - so I decided to try it out.  At first I wasn't sure how I felt about it.  But I decided since I'm going to be away from civilization for a year this is a good time to try something new.  Don't cry mom.  It will grow back! 
Love,   Izzy
 
 
 
 
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm sorry it's been so long since my last letter.  We've been really busy out here.  My greenhouse projects are going really well and we are getting some really interesting results.  I'm getting used to being in the middle of nowhere and the 8 students in our group have become really close.  We're all really excited about collecting the nectar from the Laganaphyllis which should be any day now.
The Laganaphyllis has extended it's tongue which Professor Cole says is a sign that it will produce nectar soon.  It doesn't make any sense to me, but we were told that the tongue of the Laganaphyllis contains a fatal poison.  The tongue is the shape of a slice of birthday cake which makes this strange plant even more unusual.  Randy and I have been running more tests and have made some really interesting discoveries - but nothing I'm prepared to share yet!  I miss you all!
Love,  Izzy
 
 
 
 
Dear Mom and Dad,
Lots of neat stuff is going on here.  Last week I actually got to feed the Laganaphyllis , this is really like no other plant any of us have ever seen.
 
Randy has taught me a lot about the Azahora desert and because his dad is Govenor of Azahora City he has even let me in on some government secrets - especially pertaining to why we might be researching this plant.  Randy thinks this is more than just a "school project" because he has overheard his father talking about the Laganaphyllis Simnovorii.
 
Last weekend Randy and I took an excurision
of our own.  Randy said there was something
he wanted to show me.  He packed my favorite
lunch - grilled cheese sandwiches and cherry
jello and took me out to Aires Rock which overlooks a large section of desert.  At the base of the rock it looks like some kind of aircraft has crashed.  There was a lot of debris - although it's hard to make out what it is, it's definitely suspicious.  Randy said the government thinks it has something to do with the Laganaphyllis Simnovorii. 
 
 Randy is the most thoughtful guy I've ever known and the more time I spend with him, the less time I'm thinking about Ricahrd who has sent me one more letter to brag about dumping soap in the fountain with Plato (yawn) and something about wanting to join a band.  I don't think Richard will ever settle down.
 
 
 
It's just that the longer I look into Randy's steel gray eyes, the more I feel at home.  I feel like I'm safe in a place I never want to leave.
I think Randy feels the same way.  This afternoon while we were playing chess, because there is NOTHING else to do, he looked straight into my eyes and said "I love you Isadora" with the kind of certainty that could stop the world on it's axis.  Mom, I hope you're not crying.  We have been together every day since I got here and he's the best friend I've ever had.  I think I might love him too.
Love, Izzy
 
 
 
Dear Mom and Dad,  The day we have been waiting for has finally arrived.  The Laganaphyllis Simnovorii has swelled with nectar overnight.  Because I have held the highest GPA this term I was selected to collect the nectar.  It was a thin white milky substance that smelled both bitter and sweet.  Now that we have collected the nectar our team will begin the long process of breaking the genetic code, and I have a few ideas of my own I'm looking forward to trying out.  Better get busy!
Love, Izzzy
 
 
 
 
Dear Mom and Dad,  Remember I told you that we were going to be analyzing the nectar from the Laganaphyllis Simnovorii? Well, I did a lot of work on the nectar, maybe too much.  I managed to decode the molecular structure of the DNA, and what I found shocked me.  I don't think I can write down what I found out about the nectar, it seems that whatever this thing is, is actually a closely guarded government secret.  My discoveries were not what I expected and so late one night I went looking for more answers.  I snuck into Professor Cole's office in the basement, someone told me he had a computer down there.  I got online and looked up some information about the results I was getting from testing the nectar.  I can't say any more than that.  While I was doing research I was interupted.
 
"I'm sorry M'am, you'll have to leave now."   The voice was unfamiliar which startled me the most.  There was no one within 100 miles in any direction of our outpost.  Standing behind me was some kind of government agent, he wasn't a policeman, but he had handcuffs and he looked serious.  At first I thought I was in trouble for being in Professor Cole's office.  Everyone else in the house was asleep.  He wouldn't let me talk to anyone, he put the handcuffs on me and he put me in a car which drove me all the way into Azahora City.
I have never been so scared in my whole life.  I'm still shaking just telling you about it.  I wish I could tell you why this happened, but I still don't really know.  When I got to Azahora city I was interrogated - who was I, where was I from, how did I get the fellowship, where was my University, how long had I been here, what did I know about the  Laganaphyllis Simnovorii, how long had I been researching it, what did I know before I started the fellowship, had I ever left the Bio Botany Outpost in the desert.  They were very concerned about all of these things.  It's like they thought I was some kind of spy.  They asked me why I was going on the web sites I had been doing the research on.  I answered as honestly as I could.  This was just a school project.  I was just doing my assignment - maybe hoping for a little extra credit with some extra research.  I was so scared.  I have no idea why they were so upset with me.  Finally they allowed me to call Professor Cole.
 
It was early when I made the call, and Professor Cole was very confused, he didn't know anything about me being gone.  I told him I wasn't under arrest but that I could only be released to him.  The Azahorian government thinks I am some kind of a security risk and they are asking me to leave the country.  They allowed Professor Cole to come get me so I could pack my things.  Professor Cole was just as confused as I am.  He was so sweet about the whole thing and promised that I wouldn't fail the course.  I have to surrender all my notes and research to the government, and Professor Cole is going to be issued a new computer because they took the one from his office.  All he said was "Wow Izzy"  He's the sweetest Professor I've ever had.  I guess he realizes there is something very strange about Laganaphyllis Simnovorii.
 
 
 
 
When I got back to the house Randy was waiting outside - pacing up and down the walk, and he had been crying.  That made me start crying again, realizing I was going to have to tell him goodbye.  I buried my head on his shoulder and sobbed.  I told him everything and he just held me. 
 
 "I have to say goodbye to you. They say I have to leave the country Randy."  A giant tear rolled down his cheek as I said this.  "They told me never to come back to Azahora, and never to talk to anyone from this fellowship  again.  They want me to change my major and never discuss with anyone the Laganaphyllis Simnovorii.  I don't know what I did wrong, but remember what I told you after dinner?  Well, I think I was right - but please, forget I ever said it.  This is dangerous Randy, really dangerous, and I don't know why.  It was only supposed to be a school project."   "It's not your fault" Randy said, "I'm going to contact my father, I think he can help us, they can't do this to you.  They can't keep us apart.  I love you Izzy."
 
The fact that I was sitting in a limousine did nothing to comfort my shattered heart.  I only allowed myself to look out the window once at Randy who stood outside the house bravely leaking tears onto the desert sand.  As the limo drove me away from the love of my life I felt the air being sucked out of me, like I was heading into a vortex, how am I supposed to go on?  Not only do I have to leave Randy but I'm banned by the government from ever returning to his country?  I don't think I could feel any more unlucky in love.  I don't know if I will ever see Randy again since I was told never to have contact with anyone from the Bio Botany Fellowship again.  I'm so sorry Mom and Dad.  I know this isn't good news and I feel like I'm a horrible disappointment.  I'll call when I get back to HO HO HO.
Love,    Izzy
 
 
 
 

Plato

Would you like to know what my son Plato is doing?  I can sum him up in one word "Llama Mama" (ok, so maybe that's two words).  My son is in a college band called "Llama Mama"  After Isadora left for her fellowship her Llama boyfriend Richard became fast friends with Plato.  Richard was friends with another Llama named Corey and the three of them started rehearsing as a band, and actually they were pretty good.  They played night and day on the porch (now known as the 'stage') outside HO HO HO.  The crowds got huge and the band was quickly noticed.  The band got offered gigs at other schools and eventually a University circuit concert tour.  Plato and the guys decided that instead of spending a year studying abroad they would tour as Llama Mama. 

I keep up with Plato on his band's web site.  You know how boys are - they don't write and they don't call, and you hear even less from them when they are traveling with the most popular college band ever.  Kaylynn and I are very proud.  I've even been to some of his shows.  Would you like to see pictures?  Some of these I took myself and some are from the Llama Mama web site.  These kids are playing ALL OVER the place.

  

  

  

They really are an amazing group of kids and every time I go to see one of their shows it seems like I get hit up by more and more co-eds screaming "You're Llama Mama's Dad!  Sign my Tshirt!  Sign my Tshirt"  Of course it's my duty to uphold the fan base and support the band, but I suppose a little suffering is worthwhile.  Anything for my boy.  Right? 

Exciting news for Llama Mama today,  they have been offered a deal with a record company and signed on a fourth band member, a guy named Warren.  Plato actually called to tell me himself - if that's not big news I don't know what is. 

Well, actually there was one more bit of big news when Plato called.  He said "Guess who showed up today Dad?"  I had no clue, with his life it could be Elton John or the Department of Corrections.  "Kissimmee" he said.  "That girl from highschool who lives over on Glenlock?"  "That's her."  "Isn't her father a bartender or something?"  "A Barista"  "A what?"  "A Barista Dad, they make coffee, not booze."  Pity.  When I was growing up if you made coffee they called you an intern.  He was so excited about this girl coming to school, he talked more about her than the record deal.

 

"Ok Dad, so we're sittin out on the curb waitin for the van to drive us to our gig, right, and the van pulls up, but this really hot girl gets out, I mean piece of mmm-mmm HOT, and I'm sittin there lookin at her legs, right, thinkin 'Oh please be a groupie', right, so I stood up to introduce myself and before I'm even on my feet this girl jumps into my arms, oh yeah, and then I realize 'Hey Plato, you know this girl' and it was her, it was Kissimmee.  I had no idea she was comin or nothin.  I hadn't seen her since Llama Mama played her senior prom in the spring.  We were only in town for that one night, sorry I didn't call you, I was kinda busy all night, well, you know, and then we had to leave in the morning to get to our next gig, right.  So it's been like three or four months since I've seen her.  Talk about growing up over the summer!  You have never seen a girl this hot dad.  Never.  She grew her hair all long and turned it blonde and it smells like Almonds.  So I'm all like "do you go to this school?"  and she's like "no Plato, my financial aid didn't come through"  So I'm like "So wass up?"  and she's like "I want to be Llama Mama's Manager.  I've been taking some online classes on Rock N Roll management at RockU.com and I think I can hook you guys up."  So I'm like "Sweet" and the guys are like "Dude"  so like it's done.  We call her the Llama Mama Momma

                                 

A package arrived today - special delivery.  It was Llama Mama's album.  I'm so excited.  I had no idea this kind of excitement was possible, (and believe me, I've experienced ALL kinds of excitement) but there's something about seeing your kids succeed that's better than anything else in the world.  I have to warn you.  I just might go on all day about this.  As the kids would say "I am so friggin' proud"   I put the CD into the stereo right away and Kaylynn and I put on our Llama Mama concert t shirts that were also included in the package (compliments of FrauRaou Studios) and partied like rockstars late into the night celebrating Plato's success.             

 

 

  

                            

If I was excited about receiving Plato's album, it was nothing in comparison to seeing Llama Mama on the cover of University World Magazine.  It was a full color spread with concert photos, a very favorable review of the new album, and interviews with the band.  Well, here I can show you an Excerpt from the article.

 

L l a m a  M a m a - C a n  O n e  B a n d  S a v e  T h e  P l a n e t ?

Greetings Collegiates!  This month University World interviews the hot new band Llama Mama.  From Coffee Houses, to Toga Parties to Rooftops near you - if you go to college, you have rocked with Llama Mama (unless of course you spend all your time at the library).  Where did they come from?  Where are they going?  And can you download their music off the internet?  All of these questions will be answered and many more.  We caught up with Llama Mama as they were rehearsing for their big finale show at Kings Gardens and asked Plato, Richard Corey and new band member Warren everything we thought would be fit to print.

UW:  Greetings Llama Mama.  Congrats on your new album - Can you tell us what the inspiration was for this album?

RICHARD:  Toga Parties   (group laughter)

PLATO:  Well, actually there's some truth in that, we all belong to a Fraternity called HO-HO-HO

UW:  Yes - we did some research on that, it looks like your father, Socrates, was the founder.  Why did he name it HO-HO-HO?

PLATO:  Ummm, it's a Christmas thing.

COREY:  yeah right....

UW:  So for fans who haven't followed you from day one - how did your band get started?

RICHARD:  Well, I started hangin out at HO-HO-HO cause it was only the coolest house ever (cheers) and Plat lived there with his two sisters and they kinda had a band going called "Izzy and the Twins" and you know, I'd hang out there and rock out with them, and you know, it was cool.

UW:  So what happened to "Izzy and The Twins" ?

PLATO:  My sister Izzy went to Azahora on a Bio Botany Fellowship for a year, so that was kind of the end of it for now, so Richard and I started hangin out and jammin, and then he invited Corey over and we started sounding pretty good.

UW:  Richard, there are rumors that you were quite serious with Izzy, Plato's sister.  Has the year abroad and the success of the band changed your relationship?

RICHARD:  Of course not.

PLATO:  So the album is called "Llama Mama" and it goes on sale this weekend.  Our single "Cecilia" is already at number one.

UW:  Does the band write their own material?

COREY:  As far as you know.

UW:  Warren, you're the new guy - how did you hitch a ride on the most successful show in town?

WARREN:  Just lucky I guess.  They're really great guys.  We have a lot of fun.  I met them at one of their gigs, they were playing at my dorm and Richard had an accident doing a back flip on the couch so they asked me to fill in.

UW:  The semester is almost over and Kings Garden is your final show.  What's next for Llama Mama.  Will you be back next semester?

PLATO:   Well, Kings Garden is the last gig we have scheduled this semester, our manager got us the booking to celebrate the release of our album.  Then next week we are filming a music video. 

UW:  A music video.  Isn't that very 1984?

WARREN:  Not if you're podcasting it on your ipod dude.

UW:  What happens to Llama Mama after Kings Gardens?  Will the band stay together?  Are you guys keeping up with school?

WARREN:  There's no time for anything while we've been touring - excecpt for our fans

PLATO:  Our University Circuit tour ends with Kings Gardens so we really haven't thought beyond that show - but we hope to keep playing together.

RICHARD:  Hey, Friday night's show is going to rock the planet - everybody come and wear a helmet

UW:  A helmet?

COREY:  When you party with Llama Mama you need a helmet!

UW:  I should have known.  Now your fans have nicknames for you.  I'm going to read them off and I want you to own up to them:  Flip, Slipper, Hammer and Wedgewood??

continued on p. 42

Well you get the idea.  There's more but you can buy the magazine if you want to read the rest.  Most of it is best left to the imagination when dealing with those guys.  When the tour is over Plato will finish up his last year of school and settle down.  Of course I'm going to the big show at Kings Gardens, this is the biggest venue yet for Llama Mama.

                          

Plato and Kissimmee surprised Kaylnn and I by coming home on Thursday night - before their big show at Kings Gardens.  Kissimmee had made the connections to get them the show.  Plato said she'd been under a lot of stress and he just wanted to bring her somewhere for one night that wasn't a hotel room.  Kissimmee is a sharp girl, she seems to know her way around the show business world, I wouldn't want to cross her.  But Plato adores her and he's at peace when he's with her.  Kind of reminds me of me and his mom.  The only time I'm ever right in my head is when I'm with Kaylynn.  The stress must really be getting to Kissimmee because when she woke up in the morning she spent 30 minutes puking her guts up.  Plato says it's just all the stress.  They seem so young, and yet so grown up at the same time.  Kissimmee's only 18 and she's managing a successful college band.  In a few weeks this will all be over and the kids can get back to school.  Maybe Kissimmee can take some of those coffee bar tending classes from her father or something, anything less stressful than show business.

 

KINGS GARDENS

  

I went to go see Llama Mama play their final gig at Kings Gardens.  The kids errr Llamas were great.  Plato gave me a pass so I could go early and watch them rehearse - which was a good thing because the show was so loud I couldn't hear anything.  (friggin old age!)  I took these pictures during rehearsal, during the show it would have been impossible - it was solid bodies, many of them tightly wrapped in Llama Mama concert T shirts - which I happily signed for any squealing college girl who happened to ask.  Heh, heh.  (don't tell Kaylynn)  The crowd loved the band, there were girls, and kegs and helmets, every kind of fan a college band should have was there.  I'm glad Plato's having his moment.

        

I got to talk to Plato after the show.  I was SO PROUD of him.  Thousands of girls just screaming to touch him - that's my boy!  Plato was really excited.  The band had met with a larger record company before the show and they were very interested in signing Llama Mama - the band would tour everywhere - not just on the University Circuit.  Plato was chomping at the bit for the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.  He also let it slip that Kissimmee thought she might be pregnant and he couldn't have been more excited at the idea of having a baby llama.

                       

That would make me a Grandpa.  Wow.  Did she  know for sure?  When would she be due - would it be after graduation?  "Well, umm, Dad, I was thinking that I wouldn't graduate."  It hit me like all the hot water running out of the shower.  An icy chill dripped over my body as I realized that my son might drop out of college because he wants to be a rockstar and his girlfriend might be pregnant.  The same news that was so wonderful a few minutes before was now chilling and it was difficult to swallow.  "But Plato, you only have a semester to go.  Why would you drop out now?  Can't this record company business wait?"  "Oh Dad, why would I go back?  The band is making money hand over fist, I get to hang out with my friends all day every day and be with the girl I love.  What can college give me that Llama Mama can't?"  I was angry, not at Plato, but because I realized I couldn't make him change his mind anymore, and even though he was wearing a Llama costume, he was a man.  It wasn't his fault, he's doing what makes sense to him.  But in that moment my heart broke.  Although I've never given much thought to the heir business in my family, I guess I had always assumed that Plato would come home from college, get a good job and raise the next generation in our house.  It's what I did.  I'd made these plans for my son without realizing what I was doing, and now he was telling me that he was going to drop out of college to live like a rockstar.  There's a crushing sensation you get when your heart laughs and cries at the same time.  I am so proud of Plato and his band, they really are great and the kids really love them, but I'm so scared because he's venturing onto a path that is not what I imagined for him.  As I drove home that night I listened to his CD and to the song that played into my head... "it's not the destination, it's the journey" 

A few weeks later I got an email from Plato that the new music video was on the Llama Mama web site.  "Yo Dad - check this out - we look so totally rippin'  "   I sat and watched my son dance around the stage, playing with his friends and making the world happy.  Who wouldn't want that?  The tune was catchy and when it finished playing I said to myself "This is going to be big.  Really really big." 

Maybe you'd like to have a look at Llama Mama's first video?

                 

 

 

 

 

  (This song originally performed by a couple of cool Llamas named "Simon and Garfunkle"
   Although we don't expect them to ever attend a Llama Mama concert, we wanted to give them props.  Rock on.)


CALIOPIE

 

 

Hey!  You're still reading?  Cool! 

Well listen.  If you think you can handle one more story about my kids, I think I'm about to have a good one for you. 

 

 

 

 

This is my baby girl, Caliopie.  Sure, she's Plato's twin, so I know they're the same age, but you know how it is with girls and dads.  Well.  If you have daughters. 

Caliopie's always been the one who loved to give me a heart attack.  Whether it was scuba diving in the toilet when she was a rug rat, to turning the bathtub into a pirate ship and making her brother walk the plank, or emailing me pictures like this one from college...  Oh, there's more but I can't possibly list it all without going faint. 

All that to say that I thought Caliopie had already done everything possible to weaken her old dad's heart, but I was wrong.  She has gone one step further.  Caliopie called me last week and said:

"Dad, I've signed on to do a reality tv show, you've gotta watch ok?  I can't tell you anything about it.  You HAVE to watch though.  And oh yeah, tell Mom not to cry."

How can a Dad not be scared to death after getting a phone call like that?  Of course Kaylynn and I watched the program.  We had no idea what to expect.  But it was noting like we expected.

Maybe you'd like to watch too?

The Heiress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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