I growled and pounded my head against the computer screen. "Not ANOTHER request for Broli!!!"

Sighing to myself I dropped my chin into my hands in defeat. I know I suck at interviewing, but I'd be a lot better at it if I could start with the easy people! It's not like I never intended to get around to bigger characters -- like Broli, for example -- I just can't right now. I shifted over to my left hand and clicked around my computer files in thought. "Hmmm.... Who could I have an interview with..."

Then it suddenly hit me: King Kai!! He'd be perfect!! He's pretty nice, and pretty interesting. I'm sure I could get a good interview out of him!

All I have to do now is figure out how to get there.

Gohan answered the door with an eyebrow raised. "You again? What do YOU want?"

"Screw you," I mumbled, my expression flattening. "I just need you to help me find your dad. He's the one I'm really looking for."

"Oh. Okay." Gohan scratched the back of his scholarly head. "I suppose I could just have the Flying Nimbus take you..."

I sweatdropped. "I don't think I'm pure enough to ride it, man."

"Damn." He held his chin in thought. "Well then what else could I do..."

"How about DRIVE me there?!" I impatiently spat. And he's Nega's favorite? Give me a break.

Gohan blinked. "Oh. Yeah. Okay. As long as you pitch in for gas."

"Sure, whatever." I shook my head. "I just wanna go and be done."

That bastard. Gohan never mentioned that it's a five hour drive from Satan City to Mt. Paoz!!

"Come on!" he insisted, holding out one hand. "You said you'd give me gas money!!"

I growled and begrudgingly stuffed fifteen dollars into his palm. "I'm gonna get you. One of these days."

Gohan only smirked at me.

"It's getting dark," I noted as we got out of the car. "It might be too late..." Angrily I shot Gohan another glare. "I swear, if we have to go back and do this again tomorrow..."

"Take it easy," he replied non-chalantly, already heading for the door. "If it is too late my parents'll probably insist we stay the night. They always do." He knocked on the door.

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "Even a complete stranger?"

"Well you're not a COMPLETE stranger. I know you!" Just then the door opened, and Chi Chi welcomed her eldest son in with open joy. As she was dragging him inside and speaking many miles an hour, Gohan managed to beckon me inside before the door closed.

I looked around. For being in the middle of nowhere, it was still pretty nice. Most country houses aren't very modern, but theirs was somewhere betwixt the two. Just as I'm beginning to spiral off on my own about the typical home these days, I suddenly heard Gohan's voice from far far away say, "This is Leda. She need to talk to you about something, Dad."

Shooting Gohan one more look, I turned to Goku and bowed. "Yes, sir. I'm sure you remember my friend, Nega--"

"Oh yeah!! Her!!" Goku smiled for a moment, then quickly frowned again. "She made me cry, y'know."

I sweatdropped. "Uh, yeah, I know, heh. But I'm not here to do that. I just need you to help me with something. Like Nega, I do interviews from time to time, and I'd really like to interview King Kai. But I can't exactly get there, so I was wondering if you'd take me with your Instantaneous Movement."

"Sure, that'd be fine!" Suddenly Goku leaned close and whispered in my ear, "Actually, you're a lifesaver. Chi Chi's cooking has gotten kind of lousy lately, I need some good King Kai food!" Then, before I could even laugh at his plight, Goku grabbed my arm in one hand and put two fingers to his forehead, and POOF! we were gone.

The music was almost overwhelming in its volume when we arrived on the little planetoid. Goku and I both clamped our hands over our ears and looked desperately around for King Kai. It didn't take long, the planet being so small. He and his two pets stood just outside of his bungalow. King Kai danced to the blaring sound system, Bubbles stood nearby with a tray of drinks, and Gregory apparently was the disc jockey, sporting a pair of sunglasses way too big for his little insect head. While Goku tried and repeatedly failed to get King Kai's attention by yelling over the music, I instead when around back and unplugged the sound system.

"--ING KAAAAAAAIIII!!!" Goku shouted. Then he blinked. "Oh. Nevermind then."

"Why, hello, Goku!!" my little blue interviewee greeted in surprise. "What brings you out here today? And who's your friend?"

"This is Leda!" Goku beamed. "She's here to interview you! But while she's doing that, can I have some food?"

King Kai smiled at him. "Of course you can!!" He turned to his monkey and clicked his tongue. "Buuuuubbles! Go get Goku some food!" Suddenly his expression darkened a little. "NOW." I watched curiously as Bubbles cringed slightly and hurried into the hut. Goku and Gregory were soon behind him.

Shrugging to myself, I pulled out the tape recorder and switched it on. "So, King Kai..."

"Ah ah ah!! Not so fast!!" He grinned deviously at me and shook a finger. "First, you have to tell me a joke! If I don't laugh, I won't submit to this interview!"

My mouth dropped open. "Are you serious?"

"Totally serious!" he snickered. "No one gets anything from King Kai for free! It must be earned!"

I shrugged; I had a pretty good and fairly simple joke handy anyway. "Alright then. What do you call 40 rednecks chasing a pretty boy?"

King Kai thought for a moment. "I don't know, what?"

"NASCAR."

At first there was no response, and I worried I'd have to think of a different joke. But after a few seconds he began to snort, then covered his mouth, then finally burst out laughing, rolling on his back and kicking his feet. I smirked in victory.

"Very good, very good," he calmly said, quickly regaining his composure. "I suppose I'll answer a few questions for you, since you managed to deliver a reasonable joke." He folded his arms behind his back and smiled up at me. "What would you like to know, my dear?"

"Hmm.." It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't prepared any questions. For a moment I began to panic, but quickly found some of the obvious questions. "Well, first of all, what's your deal with jokes? Just out of curiosity, I mean. I know everyone likes to laugh (well, most people do), but you're very.... well.... militant about it."

King Kai grinned at me. "Do you really want to know?"

Suddenly I wasn't so sure. "I guess..."

With a light snicker, the blue little deity whipped his two long antennaes around to the front, and before my eyes created the image of a wall of books. I opened my mouth to ask a question, but the image began to move. It suddenly looked like the wall was actually part of a hallway, then part of a room, then several rooms. "What is this??"

"My grand conservatory," King Kai proclaimed. "Built within the center of my little planet. I store every joke, good or bad, that comes my way in this library. Each joke is carefully filed away so that it can be easily found at any time."

I blinked. "Wow. I knew you liked jokes, but I didn't know you liked them THIS much." I watched curiously as the image continued to move on. "What's the point of it all?"

King Kai shrugged. "I don't know. Just always been a dream of mine to have every joke in the universe on record."

"Hey..." I noticed a figure just out of frame from the image; I was barely even able to tell there was anyone there at all. Then, just for a second, the figure came into view, and then was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Again I blinked. "Wasn't that Gregory?"

"Of course not, my dear," he replied, quickly ditching the image and flipping his antennaes back behind himself. "Now on to more important things. I'm sure you have more questions for your interview."

I scratched my head. "Yeah. Sure I do." After a slight pause, I was hit with another question. "I read somewhere that you pass time here by counting the blades of grass. How many blades are there?"

"Oh, my dear girl," King Kai replied, waving a hand at me, "I counted those blades so long ago! I'm sure that the number is different by now."

"Ahh. Well, how many were there then?"

"I don't remember," King Kai snorted unexpectedly; he seemed to be getting impatient.

"...Uh huh... Well, you might not want to answer my next question then..."

His expression softened back up. "We won't know until you ask."

"Um, alright then." I took a breath. "I've also read that you pass your time by seeing how far you can pee--"

"37.945 FEET!!!" King Kai suddenly shouted, throwing his fists triumphantly in the air.

I burst out laughing. "Geez, that's a long way!! Heh, and I think it's safe to say you're proud of it, hehe." I shook my head in disbelief. "How in the hell did you ever pee that far??"

"Well, it's quite simple, really. All you have to do is get the right angle and pre-measure the trajectory with compensations made for wind speed and what side of this little planet you're on -- since if you're on the underside the gravity of Hell affects it -- and let it all build up in your bladder so that when you finally do go you'll have a LOT of force behind it..." Gradually I began to zone out of his lecture; lucky for me the tape recorder was still running, so I'd at least have it on record. I did, however, snap back in when he said, "I can demonstrate it if you'd like!" With horror I realized he was pulling up his shirt and reaching for his pants.

"No no!! No, that's okay, sir!!" I laughed nervously, holding my hands up defensively. "I'd be more than happy to take your word for it, heh."

A loud belch suddenly interrupted us. We both turned toward the bungalow and sweatdropped.

"Sir," I asked, "where do you ever get all the food for him?? I mean, it can't be that you just happen to have all of that here. I can't see how you'd ever store it."

King Kai chuckled to himself. "Oh, don't worry yourself over that, my dear! That's just one of the many mysterious powers of the Kais! But enough about such trifles. I'm sure you'd like some more interesting information for your interview."

I stared at him uncertainly. "Yeah... Sure."

Before I could think of anything else to ask him, though, a red demon suddenly appeared nearby. I guessed it was one of King Yemma's messengers. "North Kai, sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but King Yemma has an urgent issue he needs your help with!"

King Kai seemed to groan, and shook his head. "Please excuse me," he said to me with a brief bow, "I should be right back. Odds are he just got his tie stuck in his zipper again." As he walked up to the demon I heard him add, "Why does he always ask ME for help with this??"

It occurred to me that this was the opportunity I needed to dig a little deeper. I knew that King Kai was holding something back from me, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. Once King Kai left the planetoid to help King Yemma with his apparent problem, I dashed off to the bungalow and poked my head inside.

Dirty dishes had stacked up nearly to the ceiling, and more still were continually set aside. Goku sat at a small table gorging himself, and Bubbles and Gregory flew around the small hut trying to keep up. I scratched the back of my head. "Wow. This place sure is hectic."

"You have no idea!!" Gregory called to me, hurriedly straining an enormous pot of rice. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'Water, water, everwhere, and not a drop to drink'? That's kind of like here!"

"Hmm... Really..." I knew I had to talk to these guys, and that I had to do it now, before King Kai returned. Gently I tapped Goku on the shoulder. "Hey big guy, I need to talk to these two for a little while. Why don't you go outside and train, now that you've got more energy?"

Goku patted his stomach. "That's not a bad idea. As soon as I..." Suddenly he belched again; the volume was near deafening. "Ahh, there, much better. Alright, I'll be outside if you need me!"

"Alright, great." I turned back to King Kai's two pets, but before I could even get two words out they had jumped right back to work, washing the numerous dishes and putting them away. "Um... you guys... may I have a word?"

"Can't now, can't now!" Gregory muttered through gritted teeth, flying rapidly about as Bubbles tore through the dirty dishes. "We've got to get done! Gotta get done!"

"But it'll just take a second--"

"Can't now! Can't now!! King Kai will be terribly mad if he sees us slacking!!"

I lowered my brow; now I KNEW something was up. "Well, relax, he's not here. He's gone to help King Yemma with... um... something. So take a break."

Gregory and Bubbles exchanged glances. "Well... Alright... but just a short one!" Gregory finally concluded. Bubbles grunted in agreement.

"Alright, good." I shook my head, not sure really of even where to begin. "Now, what's the problem here? What's this huge work ethic thing you guys have going on?"

"We're severely punished if we slack off," Gregory replied shrilly. "We have to do everything, without question: the cooking, the cleaning, the filing of his jokes--"

"So it WAS you!!" I interrupted. "I saw you, in his joke library."

Gregory nodded. "Yes, that was me. I was filing away the joke you told. It's maddening, simply maddening!! King Kai comes off as a sweet old man that likes to tell jokes, but the truth is he's clueless when it comes to humor. I have to feed him the jokes that he tells, and I have to keep track of all the jokes in his conservatory!" The little insect man held his head in his hands and shook it from side to side. "It's awful, it's just awful!!"

My eyes widened as I listened. "Wow. I thought I'd get dirt from you guys, but not mud! Is there anything else?"

"Poor Bubbles..." Gregory patted his ape friend on the shoulder. "Bubbles has to do most of the physical work, since I'm too small. He has to do the gardening, the mowing, the cooking, the cleaning, all of it! And I have to help out with what I can. We rarely get to rest, or get anything to eat for ourselves."

I frowned. "Sounds like a sweatshop. But why do you guys do it? Why don't you just rebel?"

Gregory and Bubbles shuddered in unison. "He whips us with his antennaes!"

Just then I heard Goku's voice outside welcoming King Kai back, and the three of us stiffened. I quickly ran outside to distract him, so that Bubbles and Gregory could get back to work unobserved. "Heeeeeey, welcome back!" I greeted, suddenly feeling very nervous. I almost even felt afraid. "How was your, uh, trip?"

"Wretched!" he snorted, clearly feeling grumpy. "That dolt always calls me when he has personal problems. He should learn to take care of himself!"

I laughed uncertainly. "Well, you've had a rough time, and I think I've got everything I need for my interview, so I'll just leave you to rest. Why don't you go take a nap or something?"

King Kai sighed, then nodded once. "Yes, I think I will nap a bit. And maybe get something to eat." I frowned when he wasn't looking.

Goku tapped me on the shoulder, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "So are we leaving?"

"Uh, yeah," I nodded. "Um, thanks for your time, King Kai!" Quickly I grabbed Goku's arm. "Go! Go! Go! GO!" I hissed under my breath. Shrugging to himself, Goku put his fingers to his forehead and instantly moved us back to his house.

"So how'd it go?" he asked as we entered his house. Everyone else was asleep.

I cleared my throat. "It went... uh... It was interesting, heh."

Goku shrugged. "Well, as long as you got what you need." He tossed me a pillow and blanket. "Gohan's probably in the guestroom, so you'll have to take the couch. Good night!" Before I could even say anything he disappeared into his and Chi Chi's bedroom.

I sighed, flopping down onto the couch. Just about nothing today had gone as I had planned. This interviewing stuff was a lot tougher than it had ever looked. And now I felt terrible for Gregory and Bubbles! I'd just left them there. "Well, I'll fix it some time," I told myself, laying down and getting comfortable. "I'll interview the Supreme Kai sometime, and tell him all about it!" For now, though, I was content to sleep on the Sons' couch, and write my interview in the morning. Leda Chan out!