LAPD- Evil Doesn't Pay

"A distinguished author, one of our British cousins, graces our shores with a visit while working on another potential masterwork, and some lowlife bottom-feeding sack of scum absconds with the very thing that gave this former welfare recipient a reason to go on living, a character and story which have propelled her to the forefront of modern literature."
Rowling looked on, wide-eyed, but said nothing.
"What this hyena doesn't realize," GB continued, "is that he or she is dealing with the finest, most dedicated law enforcement agency the planet has ever seen, the Los Angeles Police Department. And that this same turd-sucking, ass-wiping, panty-sniffing three-time miserable loser is in violation of the California State Penal Code dealing with stolen manuscripts, sections 2.1, 2.2, 2.5, 2.6, subsections 9, 11, and 13, paragraphs 37 through 49, lines 115 though 186, specifically, 'any individual removing a computing device containing a potential best-seller by a British author without a state license or consent of the owner is subject to not less than 180 days incarceration in a state institution and a fine not to exceed $750,000.00 or the equivalent in British currency.'"