kunt and the gang

Have you shit yourself at a fancy dress party?
Or anywhere? What did you do with your pants?
Do you know someone who wanks off their dog?
Or maybe you woke up with your best mate sucking your cock.
Whatever your real life story is why not post it up here?
it could well end up in a Kunt song!
You can even use an alias if you don't want anyone to know it's you!

To get you started here's a couple of random ones...

I was in a pub in Primrose Hill and Bobby Gillespie from Primal Scream was in there drinking. This bloke came in with a book about art or something and was talking with Bobby at the bar. Bobby asked if he could have a look at the bloke's book and started flicking through. When I looked up a minute later he was gone. A few minutes later I went for a piss and there was someone in the sit down cubicle doing a really smelly shit, I heard a fart and everything. When I was back out at my seat Bobby Gillespie emerged from the bogs, gave the bloke his book back and said something along the lines of 'Yeah, it looks like a good read'! The moral of this one I think is if Bobby Gillespie asks to have a look at your book, ask him if he needs a shit before agreeing.
...........................

A friend of a friend told me that her little cousin had gone missing when he was about six. The family were frantic and went out scouring the streets and checking the alleys in between the houses. They found him down an alley sucking off another little boy.

That's the kind of thing!