Why are you making excuses for these criminals, you naïve fool?
Poverty’s no excuse for crime.
I’m not. Read again. Furthermore, there are worse things to be than a naïve fool.
I've just been informed I've won a million dollars / euros /
pounds in a lottery, but I didn't buy a ticket. What's going on?
It's nothing to worry about. Someone's only trying to rob you. This is a variation on the
same theme. You'd have to pay some 'expenses' at some stage, and your money would
disappear.
Do they really make money from these schemes?
Yes. Some people pay the non-existent advance-fees demanded. It also wouldn’t surprise me to
learn that major foffs make a pretty good income by cheating minor foffs; computer access,
phone rental, supplying addresses and fake documents, impersonating officials etc. I have
no evidence for this. However, which is the most effective way of profiting from a gold
rush; digging for gold or selling spades at inflated prices?
David Ashenfelter, Detroit Free Press, 21.9.2002
How A Poet should not do the book-keeping
Law firm out $2.1 million in African fraud. I told you foffs make money from these schemes.
(With thanks to Alexander Kerensky
for informing me.)
Hi. Despite having enjoyed the benefits of an extensive
education and being in a highly paid job, I'm a cretin. I received an offer from someone
or other and nearly sent him thousands of my hardly earned dollars because he had a nice
smile. An acquanitance (I don't have any friends for some reason) sat me down in front of
a shotgun, and suggested I check out that guy's name in the web.
That's how I found your so called 'humour' page. It then finally dawned on me that this
guy was trying to rob me. I looked at the Frequently Asked Questions and discovered
there's a lot of this going on. My question is this. People are being robbed out there.
How dare you write humour on the subject? Why don't you get off your fat arse and do
something about this? I'm so angry, I'm going to rant on about this for many hours. Don't
you dare put the phone down on me. Now listen here...
I agree completely. You are a cretin. Have a good rant.
Your page is very funny. Would you consider producing an article for our
magazine, newsletter etc?
I'm pleased you asked. Yes.
Your page is very funny. Can I nick some of the content please?
No.
My foff sent a link to a genuine bank's homepage, and the manager there confirmed his
story. Surely this must be true.
This is a supposedly genuine homepage of a bank in South Africa:
The Chartered Investment Trust Bank
http://www.citbonline.com/
However, it's a fake and is hosted by a free Nigerian Internet Service Provider. As
suggested, foffs aren't stupid. Some can do good fakes. (With thanks to N Amato for the
research.)
Do you want to help me catch my foff?
No. I’m not the police.
Morality?
BBC, Warning over Nigerian mail scam, 10.7.01
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1431000/1431761.stm
(Quote: But Nigerian High Commissioner Bola Ajibola said the people falling for the scam
were as culpable as the fraudsters.
"It is unfortunate that we have some of these gullible people who can easily get
targeted with the idea of a lot of money somewhere," he said.
"I think it is not only stupid for people to do that but they are what we call
"criminous participants", they are also criminals themselves.")
I have discussed this, confidentially and avoiding specifics, with one of my foffs. He said
he looked on this fraud as revenge upon rich scammers, who’d cheated his parents. Maybe
that was just a way of rationalizing away guilt, assuming he felt any, the truth or a
straight lie. I’ve no way of knowing. Be that as it may, these messages are usually
invitations to rob some of the poorest countries on earth. If someone with a reasonably
comfortable standard of living is prepared to participate with such an activity, and they
end up getting stung for thousands of dollars, then I think the Nigerian High Commissioner
is correct: "they are also criminals themselves". Hopefully, they might gain some
humility and honesty from the experience, unpleasant and expensive though it might have
been.
The wealthy usually have lawyers and financial advisors. They have protection available.
Most people are less well-off and more vulnerable, especially if they’re up to their necks
in debt and worry. I have received several e-mails from people in difficult circumstances,
who claimed they were on the verge of being sucked further into the mire, courtesy of their
foffs. To their credit, they had the initiative to do some background research of their own,
and stumbled across my page. If this really helped them avoid a terrible mistake, then
that’s satisfying.
Crimes of Persuasion
http://www.crimes-of-persuasion.com/Crimes/Business/nigerian.htm
This site contains lots of information on various styles of frauds.
Why haven’t you addressed such and such a question?
Perhaps I’m not qualified to or have never thought about it. If you think something should
be added to this FAQ, or something altered, I’m open to suggestions.
Do you really get asked these questions frequently?
Some more frequently than others, but yes. I also receive occasional insults from people who
somehow conclude that I'm sending all these strange offers out, making an enormous stack of
money and posting the diary of my ill doings on the web, so humanity can see how rich I now
am.
What? Show me.
No. Deranged or not, I've treated such messages as private. However, I might include such
material in the future, should somebody prove amusingly obnoxious enough. A couple have
been tempting.
Mugu? What do these West African slang words mean?
Federal Government College Odogbolu Dictionary of slang
http://www.geocities.com/fegosian/slangs.html
Babawilly's Dictionary of Pidgin English Words and Phrases
http://www.ngex.com/personalities/babawilly/dictionary/default.htm
(With thanks to Sun Tsu.)
Does that mean 'How to Become Rich Dotcom' is a weapon in the
war upon fraud?
No. It’s purpose is humour, which is a serious business. Neverthelss, this is where
scammers face trial and get laughed at. It has also been used by lawyers in order to
explain the ways of the world to their clients.
