The 6th Marquis de Sade 24.6.2002: How would the 6th Marquis de Sade reply to an orphan? He agreed to show us, if he could... Never mind exactly what, and it will grow back, I hope. It was a private agreement. Dear Master Kingsley Edward, I'm deeply pleased that you chose to inform me of your plight, for I have a deep appreciation of human suffering. Your message brought tears to my eyes. The horrid death of your beloved father was profoundly moving. When I read about the loss of your mother, I could hardly read further. When I thought of your helpless plight, being orphaned in this cruel world, I laughed so loudly, that I began to cry with joy. I too come from a depraved background and a notable line of sadists. Yours sincerely, Dykes, 6th Marquis de Sade

From: kingsley edward kingsley_edward11@yahoo.ca To: ktdykes@nexgo.de Sent: Tuesday, June 25, 2002 1:59 PM Subject: Kingsley Edward.(waiting to hear from you) From:Kingsley Edward Tel:00225 07 729197 My Dear DYKE, I thanks for your responding to my urgent plea and I thank God so much for his divine favour in introducing me to somebody in your person who have the humane feeling and desire to assist an orphan. May God be the glory. Amen (In order to limit boredom, the rest of Kingsley's work has been omitted.) Thanking you Edward Kingsley. (We may hear more from this orphan.)

Sent: Wed, 10 Jul 2002 11:08:15 -0400 From:gruggermbeki@management.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: Reminder Att: marquis De Sade I will like to know if you receive the emai i sent to you on the 8th july 2002. Kindly let me know your position as regards the reply or could it be that you travel again. Thanks and God bless you Rev, amos soglo (The Marquis is sniggering suspiciously and Napoleon doesn't looked amused. I hope those two aren't falling out.)

Sent: Sat, 13 Jul 2002 11:24:27 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: gruggermbeki@management.com Subject: Re: I am very suprise to hear from you that since on the 8th i sent this email please, read and get back to me. Dear Rev Amos, it's a pleasure to hear from you again. I'm pleased to hear you are OK and that Mrs Mbeki is still ill. I am the Marquis de Sade, and come from a French aristocratic family. Professionally, I'm in the self-entertainment business, specialising in sadism. Yours sincerely Marq (As far as I can gather, the Marquis seems to have stolen this Reverend, and the Emperor is not happy about it. He's been carrying on some correspondence behind are backs. I would tell him off, but I don't dare to.)

Sent: Tue, 16 Jul 2002 01:11:50 From: gruggermbeki@management.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: Re: I am very suprise to hear from you that since on the 8th i sent this email please, read and get back to me. Attn: Marquis, If you are serious to assist me, kindly send me the information i requested from you? or you forget aboutthe transaction. regards Rev, Amos Soglo

Sent: Weds, 17th Jul 2002 18:04:15 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: gruggermbeki@management.com Subject: Could you please explain this? Dear Rev Amos, as I'm sure you'll agree, it's always best to check up on the backgrounds of business partners. You've doubtless already researched myself. I typed Revernd Amos Soglo into a search-machine and the results were very surprising. The only relevant site was one called 'The Lord Made Us Beautiful', hosted by The Double Dykes. My expectation of some spiritual enlightenment was not exactly met. The first image to come to my attention was one of a well-built, black gentleman, wearing nothing more than a smile, a vicar's dog collar and a leopard-skin armband. The caption read, "Reverend Amos Soglo from Johannesburg invites us to admire the skill of his Creator. Enjoy his fine body!" I'm rather at a loss for words. Is this your true spiritual outlook, or do you get paid for this kind of activity? Yours sincerely Marq (I wish they'd tell me where that site is.)

The Marquis has just contacted the orphans Smart and Stella Foday, who are suffering in a refugee camp in the Ivory Coast. It was much the same message as usual.

Sent: Mon, 15 Jul 2002 02:15:43 -0600 From: smart_stella@lycos.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSEI WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE. DEAR MARQUIS DE SADE WITH THANKS I ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF YOUR E-MAILMESSAGE. I DEEM IT NECESSARY TO GIVE YOU BREIF DETAIL OF THIS TRANSACTION. MY FATHER WAS FURTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAD GIVEN THE INFORMATION ON HIS INTENDED PLANS FOR THE DEPOSIT (MONEY). HE TOLD THE BANK THAT HE WANTED TO USE THE MONEY SOLELY FOR INVESTMENT OVERSEAS AND THEREFORE THE MONEY MUST BE TRANSFERRED TO HIS FOREIGN BUSINESS PARTNER WHOSE PARTICULARS HE SHALL PROVIDE TO THE BANK AT A LATER DATE. THIS HE DID NOT DO BEFORE HISDEATH. (Message truncated due to yawning.) YOURS SINCERELY SMART SANKOH AND STELLA SANKOH. (How very unfurtunate.)

Paleo-de-Sade The Marquis is a very keen amateur paleontologist. He loves to sit amongst the remains of dead, (and also very ill), animals. One of his regular ports of call on the web is DinoWight, a page concerned with dinosaurs of the Isle of Wight, UK. He spotted the following message on the guestbook, and felt moved to correspondence. Name: efosa iyamu Occupation: clergy Location: lagos E-mail: efosax@yahoo.com Where did you hear about DinoWight?: from a friend in church Question/Comment: i love this site and i want to hear more about people i want to meet people. if you have my email please mail me

Sent: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 21:30:31 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: Your proposal dear friend, i thank you for your favourable reply i look forward in doing business with you. i will give you the nessary details as soon as possible. my God will supply our needs according to his riches through jesus our lord. i await your reponse for neccesary details. regard's efosa (Shortly afterwards, efosa wrote again.)

Sent: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 21:45:22 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: reminder dear Marq de Sade, greeting to you in the name of the lord.how is everything with you please i need you some usefull information from you to procees the transaction ddetails include: 1.your phone/fax number. 2.legitimate name. 3.contact information. I am glad you are prepared to use this fund for the purpose it is meant for and i also thank you for furnishing me with the information requested. Your information has already been forwarded to the security company for onward change of beneficiary to you.If you perused through my first email correspondence to you,it was stated that there is an accrued fund of $8,500 which you have to pay to the security company before the consignment can be released to you which was the initial agreement between the depositor and the company. (etc) regard's efosa (We've no idea what the offer was, but never mind details.)

Sent: Saturday, September 14, 2002 9:17 PM From: ktdykes@arcor.de To: efosax@yahoo.com Subject: Hi Hi Efosa, I saw your message at DinoWight and thought I'd drop you a line. I wondered if you had any thoughts on Horner's hypothesis concerning Tyrannosuarus. I mean, right, it's hard to think of a T. moving a like a cheetah on roller-blades, but what about the pleurocoels in the vertebrae? Why spare mass if you lumber like a hippo? A rhino's big too. OK, herbivorous and nothing like a mega-coelurosaur but still, it can give gas, right? And the ilium's built for mega-muscle attachment. OK, the tibia and fibula ratio doesn't suggest an Olympic sprinter, (then again, I s'pose it does ;-) ), but there's power there and the pes is flexible enough. It could surely swing. D'you know of any relevant ichnites? D'you reckon Horner's right? Yo! Dr Trev PS: D'you reckon Tarbo's a synonym or a closely allied genus? I mean, they're both top Maastrichtian, and the paleogeological conditions were commensurate with a Mongolian-WNam faunal interchange since the Lower K. There's the eutriconodontid Gobiconodon. (Surprisingly, efosa hasn't yet made his views known, despite his deep interest in paleontology.)

Sent: Fri, 13 Sep 2002 11:30:55 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: efosax@yahoo.com Subject: Re: reminder Dear Brother Efosa thank you very much for your prompt and thoughtful reply. It is indeed a joy to know there are men of faith all over the world. I do not have a fax number, but I can be telephonetically contacted at: 1. (Germany) 01049 076 67 938 30. 2. My legitimate name is Marquis de Sade, (though my friends call me Marq). 3. My electronic-mail address is marquisdesade5@lycos.com I am sorry to hear of your present financial shortage and am delighted that this will shortly be put right. How would you prefer me to send the $8.500? Your's in faith, Marq (Nor is it clear why efosa is going to ring an unsuspecting photographic company in Germany. Mammals and near-mammals of the Mesozoic are also rather interesting; Mesozoic Eucynodonts)

Sent: Sat, 14 Sep 2002 06:05:22 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: GOOD NEWS ATTN: MARQUIS DE SADE dear Friend, GREETING TO YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LORD,I THANK YOU FOR YOUR RESPONSE TO THIS GREAT EFFECT,I WENT THROUGH YOUR PERUSAL AND I MUST CONGRATULATE YOU BECAUSE THE LORD HAS CHOSEN YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THIS CONSIGNMENT SINCE YOU HAVE AGREE TO PAY THE HANDLING CHARGES. (and so on, until we get to his contact address and some more questions.) MY CONTACT ADRESS ; NO 3 AIDEYAN AVENUE, BENIN CITY, NIGERIA. REPLY ME IMMEDIATELY WITH THIS INFORMATION: 1. WESTERN UNION CONTROL NUMBER, 2.YOUR RESIDENCE ADRESS IN FULL, 3.MARRIED/SINGLE, 4.PLACE OF WORSHIP, 5.IF CHILDREN INCLUDE. LOTS OF REGARD'S TO YOU FAMILY. MAY GOD SEE US THROUGH I WAIT OUR URGENT REPLY TO THIS EFFECT REGARD'S PASTOR EFOSA IYAMU GOD BLEESS US. (How splendid. Marq enjoys quizzes.)

Sent: Sat, 14 Sep 2002 12:16:08 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: efosax@yahoo.com Subject: Re: GOOD NEWS Many greetings Brother Efosa this is very exciting news indeed, and I'm so happy it will be of benefit to us both. I'm about to go out and forward the money now. I hope you won't be offended if I send $10,000 rather than the sum asked for, but I prefer round numbers and am sure you'll be able to find a useful purpose for the extra. As to your questions: 1. WESTERN UNION CONTROL NUMBER, 3456 376 834 2.YOUR RESIDENCE ADRESS IN FULL, Kunststrasse 34, 68264, Mannheim, Deutschland (German for Germany) 3.MARRIED/SINGLE, Yes 4.PLACE OF WORSHIP, St. Helena 5.IF CHILDREN INCLUDE. Eight; Mark, Matthew, Anne, Maria, Luke, Gabriel, Albrecht, Samantha Your's in faith, Marq (Expect more developments, should there be any.)

Sent: Tue, 17 Sep 2002 09:36:38 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: Good Day. Dear brethren, I have droped several messages on your answering machine in anticipation of your prompt responce but to no avail. I proceeded to the bank in other to confirm the payment but i was asked to provide certain information which you did not furnish me. Kindly send down the payment slip as soon as possible to enable me lay claims to it and to effect the transfer of the total sum. Awaiting your responce as a matter of urgency. God bless you. Efosa. (Poor efosa. Filled with loving kindness, the Marquis de Sade forwarded a picture of the payment slip.)

Sent: Tue, 17 Sep 2002 12:33:34 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: efosax@yahoo.com Subject: Re: Good Day. Hello Brother Efosa, I'm sorry about that previous blank message, but I haven't got your evident expertise with computers and electronic-mail. I sent it accidentally, before I successfully attached the documentation you asked for. I hope you won't mind, but I decided to forward $15.000, rather than the sum agreed. If you'd kindly look after the other 5.000 for me, this would be a great help. It's simply a matter of lowering my bank account before my tax returns. I assume you have no objections to helping me lower my bank balance. Your's in faith, Marq (Here's the payment slip efosa received...) Evidence of trouble in the Canadian colonies?

Sent: Tue, 17 Sep 2002 15:15:58 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: reminder Dear friend, Greeting's to you,i receive your email response but i don't seems to understand your point,i called your number several times but only to be answered by answering machine please to my understanding you look not to be seriuos with this consignment transaction but i will assure you as a pastor that this business is 100% risk free and i know that God have chosen you as the beneficiary over this transaction. marg, what seems to be the problem with you are you not a christian is not by religion but is by faith through jesus.so i believe you will have a change of mind and think over this issue because this is a serous discovery. GOD BLESS US. regard's pastor efosa iyamu NOTE:I BELIEVE YOU DID NOT GET MY FIRST MESSAGE RIGHT LOOK AT THE OTHER MAIL YOU WILL SEE IT. (I think there was some misunderstanding involved somewhere. This should be investigated. )

Sent: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 04:23:40 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: efosax@yahoo.com Subject: Re: reminder Dear Brother Efosa, I'm terribly sorry but there was a mix-up at my bank. They forwarded the money to Cotonou in the country of Benin, not realizing that you're in Benin, Nigeria. Could you send the details of the bank you wish this money to arrive at? That way, we should be able to avoid this kind of silly mistake happening. Your's in faith, Marq (As punishment for this muddle, the Marquis has forced the bank manager to... Never mind. I'm feeling ill.)

Sent: Friday, September 20, 2002 8:57 PM From: ktdykes@arcor.de To: efosax@yahoo.com Subject: This deal, what d'you think Hi Efosa, OK, maybe Tyranno's not your thing! I wonder if you could give me your gen on this dealing with Arginbaataridae Hahn & Hahn, 1983 I've been working on: "Monotypic family (Arginbaataridae Trofimov, 1980, type genus). Estimated dental formula ?.1.5.2./1.0.3.2. This family shows a mixture of 'plagiaulacidan' and cimolodontan characters. Shares with some 'Plagiaulacida' three lower premolars and apparently five upper premolars, and presence of an upper canine, but differs from them and from all other multituberculates in structure of p4. The arginbaatarid p4 is arcuate as in the Cimolodonta, but is unique in having the enamel limited to a part of the crown, and during ontogeny rotating anteroventrally over the worn p2 and p3, which gradually disappear. Share with Glirodon, Eobaatar, and most Cimolodonta (except the Ptilodontoidea) gigantoprismatic enamel, and with most 'Plagiaulacida' lower incisor completely covered with enamel." That anteroventral rotation's cool, don't you think? Isn't the ptilodont enamel microprismatic, with the exception of the weird bird, Cimolodon? What d'you reckon? Stay cool! Dr Trev (Brother efosa's views will be made known, when he replies. The diagnosis of Arginbaataridae isn't in fact my own work. It comes from Kielan-Jaworowska Z & Hurum JH (2001), Phylogeny and systematics of multituberculate mammals, Palaeonotology, Vol 44 (3), p.389-429. Should anyone be anxious for the resolution of the final question raised, Cimolodon is indeed the only known referred member of Ptilodontoidea to have had gigantoprismatic enamel. I'm pleased to have been able to help clear that up.)

Sent: Fri, 20 Sep 2002 17:02:27 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: GOD haS dONE it dear friend, how is everything with you.hope all is well sorry i have found some one in singapore that is ready to pay $8,500 dollars please i am sorry for the incoveineces it may course you. regard's pastor efosa. (He may be a robber, but he has beautiful manners.)

Date: Fri, 10 Jan 2003 14:45:08 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: HAPPY NEW YEAR dear friend, greeting to you,and happy new year.how is everything with you in general.i don't know what you think about this transaction.but i have put it in to prayer since then as i didn't hear from you since after the disapointment you made about the money i have made arrangement for you now so that you can go to the netherland to collect the money your self but you have to carry $8,500 dollars along with you.as earlier explain to you in my previous mail last year. right now marg i want you to reply me immediately on this great effect in other for me to inform you on who to meet in holland. i await your responce to this great effect. regard's (This arrived nearly four months later. He might have beautiful manners, but Brother efosa appears to have a rotten memory.)

Sat, 11 Jan 2003 05:14:18 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: efosax@yahoo.com Greetings Brother Efosa Dear Pastor Efosa, I must say that your message, whilst most pleasant, was something of a surprise. I thought you had found help with your difficulties from someone in Singapore. I'm sorry to hear that you still require the money I tried to send previously. I can only assume there must have arisen difficulties on the side. I hope this wasn't too discomfortable. This suggestion of yours sounds very convenient. I'm presently in Aachen, which is near the border of the Netherlands. The nearest large town is Maastricht. I also sometimes spend weekends in Amsterdam, which is where my friend and accountant, (Mr Jan van Drijver), lives. It's a city which has many attractions for somebody of my interests. I could of course bring the money along. I would cherish hearing your further thoughts. Out of curiosity, are you yourself now in the Netherlands, or do you have a good friend or confident there? Your's in faith, Marq (So that's where the Marquis goes. Some of the luggage in his weekend bag looks rather unusual. (He left it unzipped once.) Perhaps he does amateur dramatics or something.)

Date: Sun, 12 Jan 2003 15:22:16 From: efosax@yahoo.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Subject: CONFIRMATION HELLO FRIEND GREETING TO YOU,JUST LET ME NO WHEN YOU ARE READY TO TRAVEL TO THE NETHERLAND AND TELL ME WHEN. PREPARE THE MONEY BEFORE YOU GO AND COLLECT THE CONSIGNMENT. REGARDS PASTOR EFOSA (A surprising letter from Brother efosa then arrived by post. As he didn't actually send one, this might surprise him too.)

Tues, 21 Jan 2003 12:31:18 From: marquisdesade5@lycos.com To: efosax@yahoo.com Greetings Brother Efosa Dear Brother Efosa, I'm just back from Amsterdam. Thanks to the map you kindly provided, finding the office was easy. Your friend, Desmond Adamu, seemed very happy to meet me. We had a fine time. I gave him the $8,500 as you instructed, but I imagine he's let you know. What happens next? Desmond wasn't sure on that point. Your's in grace, Marq (Marq must be telling the truth. He came back with a bunch of tulips.)

Uuu u u Miss Grace 24.8.2002: Would anybody be foolish enough to try to unsolicitedly spam the 6th Marquis de Sade? Yes. Miss Grace David Stevens may well become moderately famous. From: MISS GRACE DAVID STEVENS grace_david@weedmail.com To: marquisdesade5@lycos.com Sent: Sat, 24 Aug 2002 13:09:57 Subject: CAN WE WORK TOGETHER? Good Day, With warm heart I offer my friendship, and my greetings, and I hope this letter meets you in good time. It will be surprising to you to receive this proposal from me since you do not know me personally. However, I am sincerely seeking your confidence in this transaction, which I propose with my free mind and I hope you will open-heartedly read through and give me your most needed support. I got your address from an internet directory, in my search for a contact. I apologize if this is not acceptable to you. The purpose of this letter is to seek your most needed assistance. My name is Miss Grace David Stevens, the daughter of Mr. David Stevens, a very popular and rich farmer from Macheke, Zimbabwe. My father was murdered in cold blood in my presence on 15 of April 2001, due to the land dispute and political situation in my country, as a result of my father's financial support for the MDC (Movement for Democratic Change), the main opposition party to President Mugabe's party, Zimbabwe African National Union Patriotic Front (ZANU-PF) . For more information on my father's murder, you may check the Amnesty International Country Report on Zimbabwe for the year 2001. (She went to Ghana and then Nigeria. The 14,5 million's in either Ghana or the Netherlands. The mother's dead and the second wife and other daughter are in Bradford, Yorkshire. Further farms are in Botswana. Miss Grace is certainly an internationalist, but long-winded.) I look forward to your reply and co-operation, and I am sure it will be nice to extend ties with you. (That strikes Marq as being a very interesting possibility.) Yours sincerely, Miss Grace David Stevens. (Unfortunately, as her address has been closed down, this correspondence has been terminated. Nevertheles, the 6th Marquis wishes to remind the world of this UK Number One hit by the Tymes, courtesy of Myrtle Beach Shag Stuff -number two in their Top 40 of all Time. Shag seems to have a rather different meaning in the land of Dixy, to the UK usage I'm more familiar with.) "What's this page about?" This page is concerned with humour. Some background information on How to Become Rich Dotcom can be found here. Site Map Mail to: ktdykes@arcor.de