SPAMMED THE SCAMMER: REVEREND AMOS SOGLO OF JOHANNESBURG 31.7.2002 Hi Scamorama, This open letter is an attempt to summarize the way in which the Reverend Amos Soglo of South Africa has deeply touched the lives of various people this month, details which are now spread over a number of internet pages. I look upon Reverend Soglo correspondences as an interesting parallel project; perhaps a new form of folk art. He was the first candidate for Spam the Scammer; the joint creation of this site and The Scam Joke Page: http://www.geocities.com/scamjokepage/ It all started when he wrote to me concerning Widow Mbeki. Napoleon Bonaparte replied, asking for a naked photo of her, as is his wont. There’s not much to do on St Helena. Amos said she’d declined this request. Downhearted but not defeated, Napoleon sought a naked photo of the Reverend instead. There’s very not much to do on St Helena. Delightfully, he agreed to forward one. Unbeknown to either of us, or indeed to the Rev Amos, my secretary, the 6th Marquis de Sade, opened a private e-mail account. In order to annoy Napoleon, he began corresponding with Amos and ended up stealing him. The Emperor became furious and the subsequent bickering was horrible to behold, so I tried to bedrop it. However, the Emperor’s not a man to take that sort of thing lying down, especially since his affliction with piles. He retaliated by launching the now famous web-site, The Lord Made Us Beautiful. Marq was quite impressed with this idea and they became chums again. That’s when they dynamited the ducks. These weren’t birds going cheap! They were Aylesburies, Buff Orpingtons and Indian Runners. Pedigree ducks, very expensive, and they went quack. And the remains were quite tasty. This is all a matter of public record, as shown above. A few days later, the Marquis informed Amos he’d been doing some research on his business background. This had led him to discover The Lord Made Us Beautiful, hosted by two friendly ladies, the Double Dykes. As Marq reported: "The first image to come to my attention was one of a well-built, black gentleman, wearing nothing more than a smile, a vicar's dog collar and a leopard-skin armband. The caption read, Reverend Amos Soglo from Johannesburg invites us to admire the skill of his Creator. Enjoy his fine body!" Just before the fowl remains began falling down into our attic, I found that Napoleon had also set up an e-mail account. He was using the name Gary Rugger, and claiming to be a supplier of artistic photos of young adults. He began sending out messages to my business partners from Nigeria, encouraging them to use an alternative address, (identical to the Reverend’s). He suggested they give their e-mails easily recognizable titles; 'great photo', 'beautiful picture', etc. Several sent notification that they’d followed these instructions. Presumably others simply did so without informing ‘Gary Rugger’. Yesterday, I heard from Dominatrix Dori of Poland, and now we know why none of us had received further news from Amos since a week or so. He didn’t even tell us that Widow Mbeki had died. Dori had been corresponding with him too, which the Reverend also forgot to mention. Having seen her picture on your page, the passionate eyes peering out from the bourque are clearly more appealing than us lot. http://www.scamorama.com/dori2.html Marq is particularly captivated. He’s pestering the two Mrs Willsons to get some similar attire. It seems we’ve all lost out, and Dori tells us she’s determined to marry this amazing man, especially since she saw his picture on the now world famous internet site, The Lord Made Us Beautiful . Meanwhile, the following message appeared on our guestbook: "...Ich bedaure sehr das Sie mich immer wieder auf's Kreuz legen möchten. Ich habe ein Geschäft zu führen und bete damit um Ihre Verständnis..." (.... I find it awful, that you’re constantly crucifying me like this. I’ve got a business to run, and I wish you’d understand this…) WOEOEOEOEHAAAAA! LOL! Sehr gut gemacht, Freunde, und ich bin d'rin. Ich habe den Bürschen schon Mitglied gemacht von alles was man so eindenken kann. Dazu hab'ich ihn, mit Behilfs eines Mailbombers, die Inhalt von etwa 16 'triple-X' sites geschickt. Keep up the good work. Tschüsz und besten Gr. aus Holland! Erik. (WOEOEOEOEHAAAAA! LOL! Well done friends, and I’ve joined in. I’ve enrolled the guy in everything I could think of. I’ve also, with the help of a mail-bomb, sent him the contents of some 16 ‘triple X’ sites. Mach weiter so! Bye and best wishes from Holland!) Eintrag vom: 26-Jul-2002 Eingetragen von: gruggermbeki@management.com Reverend Amos, (also apparently known as Erik from Holland), has subscribed to 16 'triple-X' sites, whatever they are. Another activist recommended employing a novel greetings service: PinStruck Voodoo Curses http://www.pinstruck.com/whatispinstruck.htm I also know that he’s registered himself, (and sometimes herself), with a number of singles sites. I don’t know how to inform Dominatrix Dori of this. The shock and hurt will be terrible. Fortunately, the 6th Marquis de Sade has agreed to take on this onerous duty. Cheers Trevor Update: Unbeknownst to any of us, Alleee and Franc’s Insolitology were also trying to help Reverend Amos… http://www.insolitology.com/usenet/baiting/soglo.htm 8.10.2002: Postscript Since its launch, Spam the Scammer has been highlighting new victims each month. Mr September, Raymond Kuti, felt moved to let vent his admiration for the kindly attentions he'd received, including an offer of marriage from delightful Dominatrix Dori. I've changed some of the language around, to make it more cryptic. Me to Ray: Imagine missing out on wedded bliss with Dominatrix Dori. That saddens me greatly. I had an invitation to the wedding and was looking forward to meeting you in Poland. Oh well, maybe she'll find the right man soon. Ray to me: Fork You, Anthill. Me to Ray, (who didn't sound happy): Hi Raymond, thanks for your message. You should think of going into showbusiness. When you write, "Fork You, Anthill," even that's funny. You've got a talent for comedy. As you know, an ass is also a donkey, (as in a stupid ass), and if the ears fit, then wear them. Cheers Also me to Ray, (just to let him know how much I admired his writing talents): "I believe God made blac men very strong sexually..." Ray to me, (offering insights on how he composed that line): I am very strong sexually and can get you satisfied the way your husband has not in your many years of married life.Black men are made strong and possess very long c(l)ocks. Me to Ray: Thanks for the offer, but my wife says I shouldn't take you up on it. "What's this page about?" 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