W.E. Krill, Jr. M.S.P.C.

This Thanksgiving I am celebrating self growth. In my past, most Thanksgivings have been full of joy with family and feasting, and plenty of things to be thankful for. Oh, there was that one Thanksgiving where I had a severe allergic reaction and had an asthma attack, but for the most part, the holiday has always been one of celebration for me.

Self growth is something that is truly to be celebrated, because it is genuinely hard work to achieve. Celebrating it is an act of self validation, which is also a task more difficult that most people realize. Self validation is not conceit, it is an important part of being a satisfied, content, and secure person. Rather than being sinful, self focus on personal growth and development is an exercise that glorifies God.

The older I get, the more I come to see the absolute primacy of relationship and quality of relationships in my life. And the way to improve the quality of these relationship does not lie in my trying to change others, but in changing myself through growth. Growth in my spirituality, in my understandings and exercise of differentiation with others that I love and care for, growth in my self knowledge, and honing the skills I am gifted with for helping others.

Self growth and self validation really has a curious effect that is hard to convey to those who have not done much of either: rather than resulting is self absorption and navel gazing, it frees you to be ever more available to others. It also forces you to face the fact that you are, as Henri Nouwen says, ‘beloved’.

Being ‘beloved’, in turn, turns you into a conduit for love. Among many other things, such experience of love creates spontaneous, deep Thanksgiving.  May you know this holiday that of all the things you are thankful for, perhaps the most important to be thankful for is that you are beloved.