W.E. Krill, Jr. M.S.P.C.

From the moment we are born, we begin to experience good things. And like all good things, we almost instantly want ‘more‘.  Who has not had the distinct pleasure of giving a child their first taste of ice-crème? And what does the child want after that first taste? And we, of course, want to supply a second, and third taste to them so that we can get more of the joy of seeing their tiny excited faces.

And so begins our life long quest for ‘more’. I often think that every human being on the planet is an addict; of wanting ‘more’ of something. For whatever reason we cannot get more of something we want, we increase our efforts to get it. We may manipulate, pout, beg, cry, blackmail, or even steal what we want more of.

This idea of ‘more’ extends to our relationships. We want the love and affection we think we are due when we want it, and in the amount we want it, and as often as we want it. When we do not get it, we may turn to other things to console our hurt; food, alcohol, gambling, shopping, and drugs can all be self soothing efforts when we do not get more of what we really want.

The entire idea of ‘more’ pervades our culture: more is better. Supersize the fast food, the ‘value bag’ of snacks, the ‘extra large’ drink, the ‘fully loaded’ new car. We are trained to believe that satisfaction always falls short, unless there is ‘more’. And so too in our relationships, we may find ourselves always craving (and demanding) more from our spouses, children, parents, and friends. Never satisfied and never consoled with the amount of love, affection, or intimacy we feel; if there is not just a bit ‘more’ of all of these all of the time, we feel deprived and unloved. And so what we are receiving never satisfies.

So instead of staying hooked on a ‘more’ mentality, culture a ‘savor’ mentality. Be fully present in the moment when love, affection, and intimacy comes your way; it may be able to teach you to be at peace with what you do have, and help you conclude that no one and nothing can fill the void for ‘more’ other than God.