Something Wicked This Way Comes

Welcome. You have reached the url of http://www.freewebs.com/kinzukiwi, most likely by mistake.

Exit now before you're infected by hideous diseases any sane Internet GOD fears! Look at my "ID" page for my information.

 

It is not very likely you will enjoy this website. For starters, i don't overdramatize things, i don't swear, i don't harass politicians or religious leaders, i don't have a big, fancy, template, i don't have an iPod, i use Netscape Navigator, i only have a handful of favourite music artists, movies, and celebrities. I only have one youtube video, not 694. If you want to be on the "revolutionary" bandwagon of an incredible series of tubes, try Flickr.com, or Facebook, or wikipedia, or 911truth.org. If vanity, conspiracies, profanity, and "new and improved" streams of content excite your brain, leave this website, and never return! For although i am what the less-kinder people would call an "attention w**re", I glue myself to the latest craze with grace, and dignity. :3

Philosophy

Here at Kinzukiwi Enterprises, we don't strive for originality, we tend to market a cosmodrome of gubbins in order to design a delusion of morose grandeur. Do these big words make you feel important? let us know! email the staff at kinzu_kiwi@hotmail.com, or subscribe a feed to my website, or drop a message in my shoutbox. Really. i care about your commentary. Oh, and i didn't use the computer's built-in thesaurus to come up with those words. I used a HUGE hardback copy of the Collins Dictionary which is in one of my cupboards at this very moment. HA! Take that, New Media!!

Counter:

 

News:

27th September: My website needs better publicity. i need moar than 30,015 views!! I'm going to MySpace and drop a few Google-bombs. Kaboomskie!

To quote the great Oscar Wilde, Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone.

The Internet is not a great, big revolution -- people always get excited when new technology is introduced. But who cares? The point is that the internet is here, and it's here to stay. Unfortunetly with this comes stupidity and ignorance. It seems all over the net there are morons and jerks and conspiracy wackos. Of course, it's not like the pseudoscience of conspiracists or the juvenile behaviour of the youth is new, but the internet seems to act like a semantic archive of sorts-- sucking up every little piece of useless information and flooding your brain with unimportant information. Do i care that Gr3g0r33 \/\/1nD@l3 1z GH3Y? no. Should i care that, apparently, there is a virus of mcdonalds doomburgers on sale at ebay and if you subscribe to my blog you get FREE SAILOR MOON HENTAI XXX? no. Should you add this website to your bookmarks/favourites? YES!

What site relating to Kinzukiwi would be complete without the spokesperson, Kinzu?

Here's a picture you can make opinions of.

BECAUSE OF YOU, ROCK ARTISTS HAVE TO LIVE ON THE STREETS!!!!

Well, i'm off  now to add more lulz to the internet. Muwahahahahaaaaa! Sydney Carter. Potato muffins, LAWLZORZ.

....man, writing is hard!! i don't know what to write here... George Bush is a nazi! 911 is a conspiracy! rubber!!! EEERRAAAWW!!!!!!!

http://nz.youtube.com/profile?user=kinzukiwi

http://kinzu-kiwi.deviantart.com/

**bebo is coming**



The following newgrounds video should explain what 4chan is...
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/320698

How Do I Win Internet?

 Damn, i feel soooo yiffy right now...maybe i'll ask one of AGNPH's many talented artists to draw me!

 Here are some websites that are dangerous and you shouldn't visit, which I will now give you links to:

 

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/

 http://www.4chan.org/

http://www.youtube.com/

 www.freewebs.com/mattizawwsum

 

 

desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu...

You know, this Freewebs page isn't the only place Kinzu has made his mark.

Look At This!

http://www.google.co.nz/search?hl=en&q=kinzukiwi&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

Yeah, baby! 103 results! Who's hot now??

file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Owner/Desktop/stuff/Anibase.exe

I hope my link works... i'm just testing stuff, like macros. Which reminds me. I'm hiring a macro to do my internet work for me. I'm going to program it to automatically update my website and reply to my friend's messages on DeviantART!

In other news, organised religion has chosen a new spokesperson. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snoopy.

EDIT: After adding that last message, I instantly received a threatening letter warning me to stop ****ing white women. I also got an email from Richard Dawkins.

RichardDawkins@theamazingatheistalliance.net

ZOMFG U NEED 2 GROE UPP @ND GTET Z BTRSANI!! U ERERTYASTRD!! WTF IS RONG WIT U?? HOW CAn U B SO DUM 2 BELEVE IN TAHT DISAESE KNOWN AS FAETH?? TEHRE IZ NO GOD! UR 99% AETHIEST 2!!11!! LOL Y DON'T YOU WORSIP ANUDIS OR PEXOIDON OR TEJ FLIYING SPIGETTE MONSTER?? WWW.VENGENZA.ORG

Mother Teresa. Mother bloody Teresa. Very few people have been hyped up to the level she has, or generated as much controversy. The only person who comes close to generating a media shitstorm whenever mentioned is Paris Hilton.

For those of you who don't know, Mother Teresa was a friendly nun who went around saying a bunch of  nice stuff to poor people. The problem was that she received lots of donations from people, and instead of using those donations to improve health facilities, she used them on herself. This caused millions of atheists like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens to give Mother Teresa the unfriendly label of
"sanctimonious hypocrite". I guess the term "human being who made very human mistakes" just wasn't sexy enough. This continued on for a decade, fundamental* atheists ripping on Mother Teresa and using her as LIVENG PREWF that the majority of Christians are filthy, no-good hypocritical b-tards.

10 years later, in 2007, it turns out that, according to some private letters, Mother Teresa was an agnostic.
So then, atheists used her to prove that faith is not necessary to do charitable works. But wait a minute-- i thought fundamental* atheists said that she was a sanctimonious hypocrite who should not be considered an example of a "good christian" because she got given loads of money.

So is she still a sanctimonious hypocrite now that it turns out that she's an agnostic?

...nope!

So yea ths iz muh wbst. Muh naem iz MaTt aNd Im 12 yars olfd. Ths sItE iz alL abuot ME n muh mates cuz we r awwsum.
we l1evb in tihs shitest town wiv sheEpraepars n fukken emo f@gz. Teh copdssfxs hur r sycoes hu arerst peplez 4 ghey stff lk ltrng. we h8 thm. so 3vry sndy we zk1p curch adn tatewrse bthyuh poiliceamen. I gt fotos I tk on muh cllphne wiv pizzed-ov copz. itz funenier tahn a retatrd eatiguhn hoteings.

Daem thertre iz so mny LOOSERS in muh towen. itz soooo ghey. LOL. Yez Anderw larwnence, ur ghey! omg u fuken wqeur! go bakk 2 irrlend u b1bel-b@shIn catohlek dikk.

h3y mh w3bsiet iz opn 2 uzr-gnrtd cnt3nt frum u. @ftr all, u iz Tiem Maegiziens pErSon ov trheh yartear!!!
THUH PASEWURD IZ PENIS

Im intrstd in th bg iSsUeZ. ReLigOn iz crap LOLOL. u fukken Hezuz frek lo9zrz~!1!!!

Tĥī§ ŵĕb§īťĕ ī§ þŗðťĕçťĕď bŷ Mŷ ŗīģĥť ťð ƒŗĕĕďðM ðƒ §þĕĕçĥ.

Tĥī§ ŵĕb§īťĕ ī§ þŗðťĕçťĕď bŷ Mŷ ŗīģĥť ťð ƒŗĕĕďðM ðƒ §þĕĕçĥ.

Tĥī§ ŵĕb§īťĕ ī§ þŗðťĕçťĕď bŷ Mŷ ŗīģĥť ťð ƒŗĕĕďðM ðƒ §þĕĕçĥ.

WATHC EPIC MUVEE IZ SO AWWSUM WATCHH BORAT HES FUNNUH FUKKEN MIDDEL AEASTARNS SUX!
....:::DDON\\\\\\\''t MMMaQ foooN of my SpelLjng. TTHjS Js TheXth SLANG. ::::....

All this buzz about "web 2.0" is getting annoying... just because the internet is more available and faster all the media and news reporters have to scream "omg big revolution of user-generated content! what will we do about the censorship??" and

then they started talking about how kids uploading videos bullying nerds is Teh Pinaccle of Human Cruelty.

Not to be offensive here, but what about the holocaust? That's A MILLION times worse than a bunch of morons with a vanity complex or schoolyard bullying.

oh, and the vanity thing...all these magazines and tv shows i watch make it sound like popularity on the internets is easy. Submit a video of you throwing your cat down the stairs and you'll be teh lulz and teh controversy of millions upon millions of viewers. You'll even appear on the news.(destroying whatever credibilty the news media had) I am Time Magazine's person of the year. My vanity can finally be put to good use. Sooo, i've been using websites like DeviantArt and Newgrounds for years, and adding my own content, and i'm not SUPERCALAFRAGILISTIC FAMOUS. Why is this?

Is it because that since hundreds of people are already submitting their banal home-videos to youtube, the chances of someone picking my lil' flick are, basically, one in a million?

hmmm...i will test this. i will submit a video to youtube, and if it does not make me famous, then it will be a shame.

It's easy to see why YouTube is revolutionary and lets people speak their minds when you look at these "insightful" comments...

 

Lol

 

Rofl

 

colgate sucks

 

Great Vid Of Facts.... 5 Stars*****

 

U suk

 

 Lone Peak football coach Monte Morgan puts the teenage boy in a headlock and gets suspended.

 

These bible-thumpers pick on the berieved as a soft target for their broze-age nonsense. I can't believe you don't see this.\

 

COCKS EVERYWHERE

 

HAHAHA...
So wrong. And yet...so funny.

 

Good video, the sooner people realise the fallacies of religion the better; the concept of it has brought too much destruction and division.

 

religion is just adults with imaginary friends

 

very very boring of course i am very religious so it is a waste of time to me

 

One, the Bible isn't meant to be completely literal. He missed that key point.
Noah did not have all the animals in that arc. What was important was "And Noah did exactly as the Lord told him". and I dont feel like watching this again so I will randomly fast forward. Isn't it Chris Ferguson who plays poker but he just looks like Jesus? Shows how much research he does.
Also most hebrew laws were removed. Yeah waste of time.

 

Whenever a Christian says that the Bible isn't meant to be taken literally, it simply means that they have encountered an impasse where real science contradicts their fantastic wonderland, and bend over backwards to make ends meet.<<anal? lulz.

 It is an unwillingness to accept that part of the Bible could possibly be wrong, and it is maddening to anyone trying to use fact and logic.

Why the hell am I still watching this.

I disagree with a lot of Atheist. But I don't go around saying atheisim is stupid. I have a lot of Atheist friends, they are nice people. You are not! Just cause you don't believe in God doesn't mean you have right to judge people who do!

Yes, how dare he condemn a faith responsible for mass genocides, the retardation of scientific development, and religious as well as ethnic oppression; as well as being based on ridiculous notions that have no basis in reality! How dare he!

This was about Mark Twain. Its about life and death, a bit mature for its target audience.

Zomfg wtf is this movie?

Lol

2:19 funny

This is not for kids, not at all.

What the hell i swear this gave me the worst Dejavu ever cuz i swear i saw this a long ass time ago but not sure...well anyways this is why crack heads shudnt become writtters xD

Here's my take: HBO is a liberal, left wing network. Liberals are generally Christian despisers.
To inculcate unsuspecting youth watching this, the character with no face represents God who creates life only to kill it. Only God can kill and create disasters, an then say something as trite "we'll create more later". This was done so children watching can hate God and what he represents and recruit them to future liberals. Very sickening.

This was something on SNL dumbass

W…t…f??

i suggest simply you stop typing here,now,and go rethink your arrogance and quickly accept that europe and NATO are allies of the US and that the USA is not above these in any way but rather a equal,and to be honest if you wish to call yourself american,go look at our flag for hells sake and realize what it stands for,it stands for freedom and EQUALITY,and i ask you to give that flag the honor it deserves and salute it for what it stands for,not out of racist ideology and childish arrogance,and give it one for me also.

This is hilarious.

your a nobhead :)

y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!\

LMAO

What video caused such a political/religious/social/psychotic reaction?

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za0sZewL4F

Yeah, a news broadcast about an old lady getting in trouble for feeding pet squirrels made people argue about the dangers of religion, the dangers of politics, and the joy of posting one-word comments.

 Gee, wonder why the owner disabled the comments?

 

Sorry, but it's become a nonsensical alice-in-wonderland style of stupidity and drama. If you want to tell me what you think of the website, you can email me at kinzu_kiwi@hotmail.com.

 As of Saturday, 19th April, 2008, these were all the comments in my guestbook.

Nothingkat:
murrrr. moar yiffuh pics, plz.

Matthew127:
ur website is gay.

AngryAtheist666:
OMFGWTFBBQ HOW CAN YOU BE SO IDIOTIC TO BELIEVE IN THAT LIE KNOWN AS GOD?? YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT EVOLUTION

StacyBabe:
Please don't read this!

TOO LATE!

Since, you opened this, you will die 24 hours from now.

If you repost this, you will kiss the love of your life on Friday.

Unless you're a Jew. Then you can just fuck off, amirite?

Nicaloa:
Your website is funnier than a retard eating hot wings!

HamsterDanceHemp:
Woah...dude... your site is funnier than Bushisms or that "all your base" thing... i'm, i'm serious, dude. You could be the next Neil Cieceirega, dude! i mean, dude, you know when you got this, this choice hash, and, and...dude... *passes out*

CoolDude24:
desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu

jamiehaha:
Well i hate animorphs and in case u don't know what it is i will tell u...animorphs is about stupid kids who change into animals to fight yeerks (stupid eh?) so anywho i created a funny parody which ends off killing the crew and the human race...ENJOY AND PLZ GIVE IT A GOOD RATING!
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/2 6020

SexyChik69:
i am looking to meet up with guys for some wild, no-strings-attatched sex.

So HoLLa If youR inteResteD

HandyAndy:
Hello eitleikter Baris Akarsu Speedy Gonzales

OrangeParka:
first comment

freekiuncal:
Stop freaking, Britney Spears is used to bad press. And no, she is not a human being.

handle-cabal:
You're why humans get lung cancer.

RichBitchBarbie:
fucking waste of your breathe you asshole.

ButtBuddy:
Long live britney spears!!!!

RationalResponseSquad:
Islam is a religion of hate! God is a delusion! Kadawkin!!!

Hamtarosux:
WUT THUH F**KK?

bulltard:
HAHAHAHA YOUR SITE IS SO HARDCORE VISIT MY MYSPACE!! SUBSCRIBE TO ROCKFETISH@YAHOO.COM FOR MORE DETAILS!

Awesome2:
lol

sAiNtLyhAm:
wAnT fReE xBoX gAmEs??????LOLOLOMGWTFBBQ

CrazyChurchie:
lmao

HouseMaster:
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Loner69r:
visit http://www.albinoblackshe ep.com/flash/fartbutton
itws hiolarious

DennistehPENIS:
I WANT MY TEN HOURS BACK ASSHOLE

YOUFUCKINGQUEER:
YOU SUCK

Collector:
Excuse me, but your pirated videos do not seem to work. I need to collect every episode of everything ever made so i can say in a nonchalant voice, "why yes, i do have every single episode of everything ever made."

hugedickman:
HOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM MADDOX YOU JERK!! I H8 YOU!!

hugedickman:
disregard that, i suck cocks.

georgebush:
my name is george bush and i approve this message.

demonic:
ddddddddddddddddddddd

IllWillPress:
FUCKING KILL YOURSELF NIGGER FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

SexyHawaiian:
the person below me is an idiot.

CandyMan:
ROFL

The Devil:
I FUCKING HATE YOU

Jimbo Wales:
ARH HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!

jew:
penis

Iveechan:
Tikira has one eyebrow.

Windslash:
HOW FUCKING DARE ANYONE OUT THERE MAKE FUN OF TIKIRA!! SHES A HUMAN!

eevee:
You're all faggots

TheDoc:
teehee!

JimboWales:
SELFISH

WalrusGuy:
tuh! Arrogant little fuckling!

SouljaBoy:
fukk u nerd, u think u can get away with ur negative comments? fuck you! Soulja boy is awwwwsum and u dun like it bcoz ur an adult/nerd.

SouljaBoy:
ALSO WEB 2.0 IS REAL AND IF U DUN THINK SO, Y R MY VIDZ SO POPULAR ANSWER ME THAT FUCKFACE!

Christopher Hitchens:
you are a fucking moron.
creationism is a lie and the age of dinosaurs has nothing to do with it except in the case of raptor Jesus. and seriously, 2 hours?! what the fuck were you thinking???

Sam Harris:
"I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist"

http://www.luciferianliberationfront.or g/arss_1.html

http://www.luciferianliberationfront.or g/bloody.html

http://www.luciferianliberationfront.or g/stories.html

http://www.rotten.com/library/religion/ bible/historical- construction/

http://www.rotten.com/library/religion/ bible/discrepancies/

Don't worry the "satanist" site isn't really satanist its being IRONIC.

Read the links above and WAKE UP, put these stupid superstitions aside

Sam Harris:
ur creaton theory video is a huge chunk of ass chocolate, just letin u no : ) evelotion at least makes alot of sence ..., seriosly just think for a second, and like look at somin thats like the oposit of ur vidio, cos like i watched some of ure vidio i recon if u wanna put ur beliefs faward you should look at the other side of the story, but its up to u but just lettin u no if u wanna see which side u beleife u should look at what the other side has to offer

Brian Sapient:
you sir, are an ignorant asshole. you say we cant observe it. in fact we can. we can unearth remains to piece together each step of the process. at least evolution is based on observation and scientific reasoning. creationism is based on a book of fables...

The Amazing Atheist:
This is the revolution and humanities evolution beyond the plague.
Open your eyes and march into the future.
Stand tall on this new ground.
A place purged of ancient ritual and dogma.

This is the Atheist Empire

kinzukiwi:
Faith is not a disease It is something where most of humanity's morality comes from

TheAmazingAtheist:
fucktard.

AngryVideoGameNerd:
Nigger back to my fucking garden

Vixen669:
HAHAAHAHA! FANTASTIC STUFF NOW VISIT MY FANTASTIC WEBSITE AT WWW.BLOG.COM/SEXS55669 ITS A FUNNY JOURNAL ABOUT SEX ITS FUNNIER THAN A RETARD EATING HOT WINGS

kinzukiwi:
Mr Amazing Atheist, calm the fuck down. I was just messing around.

But just let me say, that if people don't need religion to do good things, then people don't need religion to do bad things, and they don't need religion for good people to do bad things.

TheAmazingAtheist:
www.freewebs.com/freetink ers

OPEN UR FUCKING MIND.

If christians actually checked statistics at all, they would realise that christians make up the majority of statistics for crime! Christians get jailed for stuff like rape (revelations 23.12) and murder (ezekiel 41.14) and molestations (the acts, 9.34) and arson! And what about other religions? there is no other religious groups in jail. not even atheism. Atheists live by very good moral standards, which is quite different from christians who base their life on a hypocritical book written by stone-age cave-dwelling slave-owning women-beating homophobic christfags!

Jacxob2:
lol

ryan567:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

bureet:
so i her d u leik mudki[ps!!!! lol!

cowabooger:
lol come on guys lez get the sig num 2 69!!! rotfl

Chris Hansen:
My lulz sense is tingling...

please don’t read this in 1997 Princess Diana died and if you don’t send this comment to 3 other videos, you will be raped furiously and repeatedly and your family will be murdered and your house will be set on fire and you will loose your job, your girlfriend, and your money. If you copypasta this comment to 3 other videos, you will meet an angel in a fortnight and be kissed by your soulmate. If you accidently send this comment to 2 or 4 people, you will perish and go straight to hell.

This looks photoshopped; I can tell from the pixels and by having seen quite a few shops in my time.

 

stfu r3t@rd h0w 1z t1hs ph0t0sh0pp3dd? do u 3v3n 0wn f0t0sh0p?? NO SO FUKK U.

 

You simply assume I don’t own photoshop?

 

Wuts wiv the nude british girl?

 

fock, this shat is crup! I’m frum Britain, and we dun tlk liek taht!~! thiz fatso iz prob frum focking austrelia.

 

teh heshe izznt nude dumass heshe’s werin shorts! fukken amerikinz so stupid.

WOT DID U SAY?? H0W DARE U INSULT AMERKANS IF U DUN LIKE THE CUNTRY WHY DUN YOU JUST GO KILL YOURSELF WERE MORE IMPORTNANT THAN U R WE MADE THE INTERNET AND MCDONALDS AND SOUTH PARK, SO SUKK MUH BALLS.

PS. Put some fucking spice in your food. shit.

 

ur juzt az racist az teh group u r targetign. lev the britih alon an 2 the creatr ov th vidoe: eat shet an die u shud b ashamed 4 making such a racist video

 

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KILL YOURSELF

 

this guy lewks like hes frum irelandd not Britain get ova it fagz. BRITISH PEPLEZ SUKK!!

 

this image is NOT fotoshoped. how can u fotoshop a video clip?? 4 gawd’s sake!!

 

The poster above me is obviously an idiot.

God is a delusion! Watch Richard Dawkin’s The Root Of Evil video!!

 

I wuz just bein metaphorical, dam ur arrogant.

 

how dare u call me arrogant!! you’re just st00pid cos your a xtian. Xtians r the 1s who r arrogant. stop being irationakl an become an atheist and you’ll be bright!

 

okay, how did the discussion turn to religion?

 

Look closely at this young boy’s pants. On the side of his short-shorts is a small cross. This obviously suggests that he is a christian who wears short-shorts while playing hackysack.

 

?

 

 

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

 

 

 

 

 

Chinese olympic dramas