Kinross United AFC

UPDATING SECTION PLEASE FORWARD ANY PHOTOS TO kinrossunited8@btinternet.com THANKS

Andy Gourley was a cool cucumber!!!!!!.He was that laid back he slept for most of the second half !.Andy liked nothing more than bringing his 4 kids to the game to make it a family day .Although they came to watch dad it was (through a windscreen) as he'd locked them in his car for 90 minutes HAHA .Andy's pornstar looks matched his pornstar pants and bleached jeans as his gay icon reputation spiraled out of control.Andy played 321 seasons at kinross and is now 4532 years old.

Lewis Deas played A large chunk of his football career at Kinross United."DEASY" was part of the highly sucessful squad that romped the third division title with five games to spare...Although being present for a few seasons he blackened his reputation by going on loan to Vale of Earn for a season, but after being kicked and punched up and down the park in the kinross fixtures he realised he had to come back to his spiritual home of Kinross.Lewis is now applying his trade in London but is often seen on Scottish shores when hes on holiday or partying!!!!!!!!

 HUTCH was the Glenfarg manager at the end of the 90's.He was most famous for three things 1.He dressed like the team with full kit on but never actually played(except right back for Forfar against Hearts)yeah right!! 2.His milk bottle legs 3.His famous saying which is  more famous than any rabbie burns poem."i've got u this far boys its now down to you to win the league" quoted before Glenfarg ran out to take the championship after 19 games unbeaten .WE LOVE YOU SLOTH!!!!!!!!

Andy Leeds was a hard centre half in the days of GLENFARG UTD as they were formally known.He could be heard for miles shouting random english chants like"GET OWT"  and GET THAT BAWL TI FECK" usually the latter.Andy had great days at the "farg" and was highly thought of amongst the troops!!!!!

 Matty was by far the most popular KELTONE.His trademark moustache is only rivaled by scousers and Gary Lynsey (see above).He played left back in the golden days and was quite relaxed.(to relaxed)."SADDAM" was a very hairy player and actually left Glenfarg for Hollywood where he auditioned for a part as a gorilla!!!!.Unfortunatly he didn't get the job as he was to hairy!!!!!,Matt now helps to run a sunday league team in KELTONE.

Craig "CHUMBA" MacDonald was a skillful centre midfielder for Kinross.He used his disability of speed to his advantage instead using his vision and skill to get through."CHUMBA" loved his time at the "FARG" and is presently on his 16th pre season to get back!!!!!

 Gary "GETERFUCK" LYNSEY.was a singer/footballer, "MERCURY-SOUNESS-MAGNUM" was a midfielder of some sort."GAZ QUEEN" had his finest moment scoring a great goal at Aberfeldy to find that everybody celebrated with the playmaker and not him.WE LOVE YOU STASHMOU.

 Andy Crawford or "RIICCKKYYYY" was a sublime goalkeeper for the Farg.He found himself thrown in goals when times were hard and played that well never got back outside!!!!!!!!"RRRRRRRIIIIIICCCKY" has had more spells at Kinross than girlfriends( that have dumped him).and always waited until he had a decent run in the team before vanishing like DEBBIE McGEE..Now thats "MAGIC""""

 Phil "GORDON McQUEEN" Halkett was a towering centre half for the Farg. his motto was "IF IT MOVES PUNT IT" and that included the goalframe.teamates,ball,dogs etc "BIG PHIL"s finest hour came up at Crieff with Phil Hunter sent off again and Kinross needing a win to practically clinch the title, he came on to stop Crieffs playmaker and did just that!!!!!!!! (by killing him with one tackle and a ball of dust!!!!).Phil could always be trusted to drive home from games as he only drunk LARGER TOPS!!!1 We love u philly

 Gary played every position for "the Farg". This was due to him being crap at all of them and Big Dave Miller refusing to drop him.Gary was two footed but equally pash with both."SPIDERMAN" was full of running to be honest and never shirked responsibility with his enthusiasm.Gary though was rumoured to be that tight that he owed himself money and that he used to wake up in the middle of the night to see if he'd lost any sleep.WE LOVE YOU GAZ!!!!

Colin bead or "BEADY" was  a goalkeeper fram Keltone.His long flowing blond hair and tight rump were the envy of all models and FRIARTON PRISONERS.Beady had the HEART OF A HAMPSTER but was kind and gentle and despite driving around in an XR3 CONVERTABLE was a well liked teamate.He played in the championship winning season but refused a medal because he didn't have a chest to put it on !!!!!!!! ARF ARF

 Dave "HES NOT GOT A RIGHT FIT" Miller.was by far the most outstanding striker in Glenfargs shit history!.His goalscoring records were second to none"RHETT" scored over 60 goals in the championship season and scored well over 200 goals in his career.BIG DAVE'S football days are now over after doing in his cruciate ligament and now trains a youth squad in Swindon.His mobility was rank,running rank,moving rank( but with a shot like his who needed to run.)BIG DAVIE was also handy with his fists so thats why im being nice to him !!!!!!

 "BIG B" was again ever present in Glenfargs last "championship" season.He was a steady left back and had a great career at Glenfarg. Brian used his tough tackling as his main attribute although his ankles couldn't and ended his career prematurely.Hes now a sucessful electrical "GAFFER" and has swapped his PUMA KINGS for his BIC ORANGE.His claim to fame was going 231 seasons without scoring including 43 atempted penaltys.

 DELBOY was a hard working midfielder for Kinross and added creativity to the team.He was organised on the park but unfortunatly wasn't off it!!!!!.He still lives in Kinross and prefers to spend time with the younger boys(NOT IN A MICHAEL JACKSON WAY), passing on his skills and knowledge to help the future Kinross United superstars!!!!!!